Let me preface by saying that I know being a SAHM is the hardest job in the world and is more than a full time job. Read on.
To be frank and direct- I could be a SAHM if I wanted to.
But I don’t want to.
I have always made that clear to my husband even before marriage and kids. I value my job, worked very hard to be where I’m at. I don’t bring home a ton of money, but it’s nice to not be fully financially dependent on someone else. It actually scares me.
After having my 2nd kid, we decided I would go back to work part time to see how it goes. This way I could be at home w the kids half the time, which I find the perfect balance for me. But it comes with a cost.
When I’m at work my husband is at home w the kids AND he has to work). When I’m home, Its usually both of us. My husband and I share kid duties very well and it’s always been like this. We have help sometimes, but the majority of the days that I’m working, he’s alone with them. I know that incredibly tough and exhausting and he gets little to no work done. When I come home from work, I try to jump in and do a lot of the toddler stuff bc she’s more exhausting than my 6 month old right now.
Because I don’t NEED to work to contribute financially, I feel like I need it for my mental health and sanity. But I feel immense guilt bc if I didn’t work, it would make my husbands life a lot easier. His schedule is very flexible bc he owns his own business so even when I’m not working, he’s home and we divide and conquer as it should be.
I know and understand that this is a lot for him bc when I work, I’m gone for 9-10 hours with my shift and commute time. I feel like he’s starting to get resentful of me. I hate feeling like I have to jump in right when I get home bc obviously I am tired too but feel like he’s doing me a favor by being ok w me going back to work bc he knows I need it for my mental health. So I feel like I always need to compensate.
We just got in an argument and I’m wondering if the expense of me going back to work is worth all of this so that I could have my sanity.
Am I being selfish for going back to work even if i dont contribute financially?