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The place I have them moving into is wonderful. It’s such an active community I know they will thrive. Like you said they are bored being home alone and they have some friends that I think are using them. This place has activities everyday from water areobics to bingo. It’s not assisted but I think for now they don’t need too much help. I may have to reassess that once they get here but I keep telling myself just do the step to get them here then it will all be fine. I just hope the next 2 weeks doesn’t kill me.
Oh I know exactly what you’re going through. We only had to move my mom, but you have two. Just hang in there. Try to take breaks when you can. Get outside for a walk just to breathe. Once they are settled, you’ll feel so much better. Hugs to you!!
Is there any place at your home he could have this furniture? Extra room? Attic? Garage? Maybe find out what he feels is important about keeping this set. Sentimental reasons? Or because "a bedroom should have a bed in it"?
I think that the bedroom should have a bed in it. I specifically called him last week to talk about his concerns and try and make a plan so he felt better. He said he couldn’t talk that he was sweeping the family room 🙄. Which of course he needs to ask my mom for help with and she doesn’t want to do it because she knows we’re hiring a company to come clean. But he is so focused on the small details. The bed thing is just the latest. We also had tears over the washer/dryer. The apartment comes with a set but he was super stressing over wether to sell there’s or keep it with the house.
I understand. I moved my mom out of her longtime home in 2009 and I still literally occasionally have nightmares about fighting with her about things.
You have full sympathies on this. I have been watching multiple people in my circles deal with their parents as they are aging. My mom is a decade younger than many of the situations that I am watching unfold, so I have been encouraging her to make these decisions and changes while she she still has the strength to do so. She is trying. IMO, and this is coming from a lady that just built a new home and had a empty her old home of 18 years, everyone just has too much stuff. And they think that the stuff has value. I can't tell you how much stuff that I packed and stored from my old house and when I got to the new house ... nope it didn't work. Especially furniture, rugs and decor. I could have stored less than half my stuff while I was building, that was all I used when I got to the new place. Live and learn. I am very fortunate but the lesson I learned is that it is ok to buy something new to fit your new space. It really is ok to let things go.
I’m a minimalist so holding onto things is just so hard for me to understand. And now my parents are trying to give me things that they don’t want to part with but know they can’t justify keeping. Like how do I say “I don’t want know 50 year old “worlds best dad” knickknack in my house”? It’s been a real eye opener about what I need to get rid of. I did Konkari several years ago but have been getting rid of even more stuff since last year when my mil passed and we packed up her house. The thinking stuff has value really hits home. I can’t tell you how many things my parents insisted were valuable and when I googled them it was $30-50. Even then my dad wanted to give the stuff to my kids so they could sell it. Ugg the time it takes to list and ship stuff when you’re working full time isn’t worth $30! I finally got them to agree to sell most stuff in an estate auction. But I had to come home for a month and I can see my dad second guessing everything without me there to reassure him.
This time of life can be so hard with the challenges of menopause and then you add in aging parents and maybe kids leaving home. It’s sometimes too much!
My father died back in 2004 of a brain tumor so I only lost my mom three years ago. My sister lived closer than me physically so she did more of the work, but I did go up and help clean out the house to sell once my mom moved into an assisted living place.
My sister tried taking care of her, but she almost broke her arm giving her a shower. Plus my mom was bored at her house. Moving into assisted living was where my mom bloomed.
Anyway she passed away in 2021 of dementia. I’m not much help here, but I know how you’re feeling. On top of all that and menopause, it’s easy to feel like you’re losing your mind.