"Reverse Engineering" IFS

I'm having some intuitions that I'd like to share:

According to IFS, Self has 8 key qualities (Compassion, Creativity, Clarity, Connectedness, Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, Calmness.
This means we can regard those qualities combined as Self, and regard Self as an ideal to be sought.

-From there, we can infer that having blended parts will obfuscate some of those qualities.

This means that by checking which of the 8 qualities are not present at any given time, we can get a glimpse of the presence of a blended part.
When a blended part has taken over the system, it will actually express the opposite quality to what it obfuscate. Ie a "fixer" part may obfuscate Patience and Clarity while overemphasizing (to a fault) Confidence and Creativity.
The reverse may also be true - strengthening a quality may be helpful towards unveiling, unblending and ultimately managing a part.

-We can see this in the actual IFS framework, in which (according to Schwartz himself) Curiosity is the key quality that allows the therapist to initiate communication with a part.

This may actually be a big part of the role of the IFS therapist; to provide a template/frame of reference for the obfuscated qualities in the patient, through the development of which one is ultimately able to unblend the part and reintegrate it in a more functional way.

The take-away; watching for the absent qualities of Self may provide an alternate and complemetnary route to identifying, unblending, reintegrating and managing parts.

Feel free to add your thoughts, comments and criticisms. I'm just thinking out loud here, and I value feedback.

in InternalFamilySystemsby DOSO-DRAWS

95%

1mo

Aspierago

1mo

If I wanted to know how I feel, I would stick to the method and ask questions directly to the protector.
Turning the situation around could be interesting rationally speaking, yeah, but it seems the work of a thinking part to avoid contact the protector/exile/body.

DOSO-DRAWS

1mo

That is certainly something to watch out for, and I appreciate that you brought it up. Intellectualization can indeed be a psychological defense that we rely on to bypass actually feeling our feelings in ways that might allow us to actually work through them. That said...

I'm looking from this angle because my brain seems to prefer the abstract stuff, and I struggle to keep tabs on concrete characters until I somewhat understand their essence - not only when it comes IFS to parts, but even fictional characters.

Regardless,I feel this may be useful for anyone's brain as a way to detect the presence of a blended part we don't yet know. I have noticed some people take a similar approach by monitoring their feelings, which is also quite valid and complementary to this approach. What are feelings and thoughts, if not the two sides of the same cognitive coin?

sailortitan

1mo

I am picking up what you're putting down and I think it makes a lot of sense as a complementary approach. I like using Tarot (not from a mysticism angle, I think it's a good meditation tool) and I find myself using face cards to help myself assign archetypes to various parts; it's a way of unblending for me and I find it help as long as I remember that archetypes are guidelines and not prescriptive.

Your method seems similar conceptually--figuring out what parts _aren't_ can be a way of figuring out what they _are_.

DOSO-DRAWS

1mo

Thankyou! That's really interesting with the Tarot thing - and it's very much in line with the actual precepts of Tarot.

I do something similar, actually. I sometimes use an app to get the card of the day and pay as much attention to my reaction as to the actual card and its meaning.

Maina_Gioia

1mo

A couple days ago I tried IFS with a friend of mine for the first time. I agreed to guide her because she is already in therapy, so she at least knows how therapy works and how to self-soothe.

She met 3 different parts and the frustrated part was blended with her very strongly (my friend said she felt it like a 9) but after a few tries my friend finally became curious and able to unblend. She understood the part, thanked her and they connected. She was like "wow, I didn't think this frustrating part was so good".

Tori Olds says that is better to conceptualize behaviours/strategies like solutions rather than problems. With this attitude it is easier to have curiosity. This is one of the main strengths of the IFS approach in my opinion. I've done many years of talk therapy with 5 different approaches plus EMDR. None of these were able to help for example with rationalization. In my case speaking with protectors with curiosity and compassion I finally was able to reach the core: the exiles. IFS is the most powerful model that I ever tried or read about.

DOSO-DRAWS

1mo

I like that angle, and you did something really interesting there that you may not have noticed.

It was possibly your own well established Curiosity and Presence of Self that allowed your friend to follow suit an unblend her frustrated part. I think these qualities can be contagious like so. Healing itself can be "contagious", much like partiality / blended parts can, as dictated by our attitudes as they stem from our conceptualizations.

I keep getting that feeling whenever I see Richard Schwartz in action.

I always get the impression that what he brings to the table is far beyond the words he's using. It's his embodiment of Self that seems to *really* do the trick. It seems to somehow make room for the same qualities in other people.

That can be the deepest beauty of the IFS method. It's like a tuning for emotional healing wrapped around a really digestible, custom made story format derived from one's own particular life experiences.

Maina_Gioia

1mo

Thanks, I am not sure about what you said. I was definitely very compassionate because I love my friend but during our sessions there were a couple of times I was worried (like when she said she felt frustration level at 9). I agree with you that if you are in the Self you can be contagious, emotional regulation is crucial on the part of the therapist in many approaches for this reason.

Stuckonthefirststep

1mo

I’m probably going to get downvoted. I thought it was a marketing gimmick to give all the word a “C” beginning.

DOSO-DRAWS

1mo

Thanks for boldly speaking your truth, despite the possibility of downvotes.

I think it's healthy to be a little critical or even cynical, like so. There may be a part catering to those aspects. But it's also healthy to question your own assumptions regularly.

I'd never looked at it from that angle, but I have noticed that Richard Schwartz himself can *never* remember the 8 C's off the top of his head. I have been assuming it might be because his brain just doesn't work that way (as mine doesn't) but what you bring up here is also a valid possibility worth keeping in mind.

It's good to be able to entertain wildly different possibilities, like so. Mental health is the ability to reconcile extremes into a nuanced view.

Stuckonthefirststep

1mo

Thank you for the kind reply. I’m definitely “curious”. I actually rearranged them alphabetically after reading your thread. I can see why he himself wouldn’t remember

New list:

Calm,

Clear/Clarity,

Compassionate,

Confident,

Connected/Connectedness,

Courageous,

Creative,

Curious

DinD18

1mo

I think this makes sense, especially the idea that an absence of the 8 Cs can act as a trailhead to parts, but I'm a little wary of "regard Self as an ideal to be sought." What I love about IFS is that all parts are welcome--there is no "perfect" "ideal" version of me that I have to strive for. My parts get to be as they are, and trying to change them has never helped me. I have only had progress by witnessing them compassionately. I can sometimes see a sense of "striving to be in Self" which reminds me of when I told my therapist I was "trying very hard to relax" and she was like.... that doesn't sound very relaxing! lol

DOSO-DRAWS

1mo

Oh yes, that is a solid point. And I agree it's vital to let all parts do their part - I regard the role of Self as that of a orchestra maestro/Conductor. Their role is to get the best of all performers/Section Members, towards the most harmonious symphony possible.

So rather than looking at it as striving to be Self, perhaps can just look at it from the angle of "I wonder if I'm embodying Self right now? If not, which qualities seem to be absent? What may I infer from those missing qualities, where it relates to parts that I haven't witnessed yet?"

CosmicSweets

1mo

I've kinda sorta had a similar thought for a little while now, but it wasn't fully matured. Your post puts it all together.

Just a few minutes ago I was dealing with insecurity. If I can pinpoint which aspects of Self are missing when I feel this way I can probably address the part better. I don't know if I'm making sense.

DOSO-DRAWS

1mo

Thankyou. It does make sense to me, and I'm precisely thinking along those lines. Perhapa we can actually apply proper IFS logic by addressing the missing qualites much like we address parts.

For example, the presence of insecurity may signal that Confidence and Calm may be getting obfuscated. Perhaps one can curiously inquire "what is causing this obfuscation? Is there a part trying to tske over? Do we know it yet? If not, is there a chance we can get acquaintanted with the backstory and its cautinary tale? We're confident we can help without losing our calm. We're not your enemies and we would very much like to be your allies, if given the opportunity".

It's entirely possible the lurking part will want to test that claim, so be prepared for that.

Glittering-Oven6799

1mo

this is GOOD!!!! Thank you!! So looking for: irritation (non patience, frustration), fear, boredom, insecurity, shutdown and confusion is great point places for being blended (and shows I am actually blended when I thought I was in self and why I was “fighting” parts - it’s parts against parts not self! This is SO HELPFUL

DOSO-DRAWS

1mo

Thankyou, I appreciate that. You know something else I've been noticing? The exact same dynamic seems to apply at interpersonal levels! Which kind of makes sense, since IFS was derived from family counseling protocols applied at internal levels.

I feel as though Self stokes Self in a "Namaste" type way, much like parts stoke parts, in a "mutual triggering" type way.

Healing stokes healing, much like hurt stokes hurt.

Best wishes!

Glittering-Oven6799

1mo

This is so true. My parts have parts they constantly trigger and it’s like sisters and brothers fighting 😂 I have to help them understand how they are both trying to help but 😮‍💨 it’s rough!!!! I just realized this week that the thoughts I push away are my exiles. I’ve had a real breakthrough
I’ve been away from ifs for 3 years but worked with an ifs therapist before that for 3 years so we just jumped back in.

MissInkeNoir

1mo

I had a similar thought process! And I also developed a model to correlate the eight C's with the Wilson-Leary 8 Circuit Model of Consciousness (deferring to the depiction in the book Prometheus Rising)

In ascending order, I mapped it as Calmness • Confidence • Creativity • Compassion • Curiosity • Clarity • Courage • Connectedness.

So, with this tool, that also can help reveal what is going on, what one might be lacking, and what are some actions and practices that can help in that area. 🙂

But it's just a map I made. It may be inaccurate, or subjective. Its usefulness to the individual is what's important.

DOSO-DRAWS

1mo

Hi! That sounds *really* interesting. I appreciate the validation and the added information - I'm certainly going to look into the Circuit Model of Consciousness. That's a great attitude, by the way. Best wishes, and see you around!

You know , another thing I noticed recently through one of the amazing regulars in this sub is that each of the 4 C's may correlate energetically with Masculine qualities (Curiosity, Confidence, Courage, Feminine) and Feminine qualities (Connectess, Compassion, Creativity, Clarity) qualities, in a sort of Yin-Yang fashion.

From this we might be able to extrapolate, for example, that people who are caught up in toxic masculinity or femininity may be disconnected from their femininity or masculinity respectively, which means there could be managers and protector partss keeping them separate from those aspects.

Miniatures4ever

1mo

Such an interesting conversation! One thing I’d add is that you’re all doing a lot of thinking! And not a lot of feeling… What I’m trying to do is to identify what curiosity (and the other C’s) feel like in my body, and get my brain out of the situation. It seems to be the only way, I can pick a part to work with.

AutismusTranscendius

1mo

You can still be in Self and not have all the 8 Cs. Being blended is characterized by intense emtions at least for firefighters and exiles. Managers can be a bit a bit more suble and them selves exhibit some of the Cs as you have described, however even they are 'reactionary' so to speak, they are always trying to change and control in response to activity of other parts or your enviornment.

Its much easier to just monitor changes in thoughs and feelings you are experiencing and realize that that is the interplay of your parts. For me curiosity is key for unblending, only your Self can try to understand and show compassion to your parts, other parts react or control other parts.

If there is a quality missing in your core self, I would look for that quality in your Exiles. Experience I and others have over and over again is that unburdened exile takes on qualities of the Self, making them indistinguishable form the Self.

I am also open to thoughts, comments and criticism. Just sharing my experience and understanding.