For context, I'm a guy in my thirties who recently moved for work. The past few years have been good to me overall—I’ve made some friends here and kept a few close ones from back home. Work is going well, and I’ve found a new hobby that I really enjoy. But, I must admit that my romantic loneliness is starting to make itself felt more and more.
It’s been a few years since my last relationship, and the common advice I receive is to "just put yourself out there." While it sounds good in theory and I consider myself a decent guy, it’s clear that I'm not the kind of person who naturally attracts romantic interest without making an effort. I realize that taking the initiative is necessary, but I have no clue how to start.
From a distance, it seems like many people fall into relationships effortlessly. For me, opportunities to meet new people are few and far between. Most of my hobbies are solitary creative pursuits, and while I do meet new people occasionally, it’s not something I can rely on.
I should mention that I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD and suspect I might be on the autism spectrum, though I haven't pursued a formal diagnosis. Over the years, I've learned to adapt my behavior to fit social contexts, revealing my true self only to my closest friends. However, possibly as a coping mechanism, I have a very hard time in expressing my intentions and expressing interest in other people. Even simple steps, like creating a dating app profile, felt daunting and full of friction.
It’s incredibly frustrating because the people I talk to seem to have it all figured out. They give advice as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world, but it’s really not for me. When I ask for further clarification, it seems they don’t understand where I’m struggling.
So, I figured I’d reach out here for any suggestions or discussions that might help. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Thank you!