I don't know what to do, what to think. I've cried but I'm holding up I think.

Although now every childhood memory i have is tainted. I question if my reality is even real anymore, because this is the last thing I expected to hear. And truthfully none of it has hit me yet, the gravity of the situation , the fact that ... I don't know. I'm just lost at this very moment and my stomach curls up at every memory I have with her.

I'm an only child and she was a single mother, she raised me on her own. She dealt with a problem child in me growing up but still did her best raising me.

I don't know what this post is supposed to accomplish, for right now it's just a letter into the void. Something I'd never thought I'd write

Edit: I'm trying to carry on normally. I still try to post on reddit and read things that might be funny, just something positive. But I don't feel normal