It’s only been 3 days since my boyfriend passed but since yesterday I’ve been feeling numb, emotionless and just overall empty inside. Like nothing at all matters. I feel like I couldn’t have only had 1.5 days worth of overt crying/displays of grief??
I do find myself in moments of quietness where my mind wanders to him, our memories and feelings and I end up bawling but I don’t understand the numbness so soon. It’s also scaring me in the sense that it’s making me question if I even loved him (I know I do but it’s introduced doubt) - that I should be more emotional…?
Am I trying to intellectualise my grief?
You don't need to be concerned. You're likely numb, in shock. It's very normal this soon after a loss of this magnitude. You will have other things come to you and they will be big and emotional and hard. Just allow yourself to feel them when they do come. In the meantime try to take care of yourself, getting sleep, drinking water, moving your body.
I'm so very sorry for your loss.