This is an apostolic youth group, which held a major conference this week, posting their teenage members as bachelors on a social media page clearly run by the FAC Maryvale church. As if that alone weren't gross enough, the last "bachelor" is one of the pastors at the event, who as per his age in the post is 40.
Who the fuck posts pictures of teenagers like breeding stock? These people are sick.
People who truly see teenagers as breeding stock. Sick fucks.
But trans people are the groomers
Nonono, you don't understand... is only grooming when someone teach something we don't aprove! BTW, are you voting for lowering the age of consent? /jk
Exclusive Brethren have entered the chat.
I can't believe my old high school hasn't been on the news but every year since like 2002, one night in the auditorium, they've got a bachelor auction where the senior boys get on stage and its sort of like a talent show except its only the popular boys and half the town shows up to watch teenage girls scream bids out for a single date. My senior year (08) the most popular guy went for $800 and then he backed out of the date. I bet its closer to $1200 now.
The money goes to children's hospital but the whole event is icky. They make posts like this one to advertise the bachelors. I just always think if that were 17yo girls up there and parents were writing blank checks for the boys to purchase a date it would be received a whole lot differently.
Now imagine that but to get married 😬
Ummmmm wtf
Why does everyone but the last guy have some level of rizz? Also this is the most messed up thing I have seen lately.
The way they didn't rate the looks or rizz 💀 bro I would just implode
It’s because he’s their 40-year old youth leader. So fucking weird to make this, so fucking weird to put himself in it?!
The 40 year old being included made me feel all kinds of icky. It makes him look like he's in competition with these boys. It takes me me back to when my nearly 30 year old youth pastor dated and then was engaged to one of my friends in the youth group. She was not even 18 when the relationship began. There shouldn't even be a remote appearance of anything like that being a possibility.
Also a 40 year old youth leader? When I was still in church they were like late 20s MAX, what's a middle aged man doing around teenagers, so gross
Eeewww oh my god how did it get even worse?!
What is rizz?
It means how much charisma or attractiveness you have.
Also doesn’t say he’s tall (twice) even though it lists his height as 6’7”…
I want to say that this is a joke but idk
It's definitely a joke but the fact stands that this isn't some account run by teens joking with each other, it's run by adults who represent a megachurch
It has a very “how do you do fellow kids” feel.
Also, as an Old who works with college students, you have to let them make fun of you, you can’t make fun of yourself, it makes you even less cool than you already are (which is extremely not cool).
Strong Tower, the youth “camp” (camp in the upci sense of the word, more like a retreat or teen revival than traditional summer camp) that these memes are from leaned really hard into Gen Alpha humor this year, the organizers clearly took copious notes on how to seem relatable to the kids (and young adults, the worship teams and whatnot are not kids- Flan Carpenter’s husband Nolan preached and was on the worship team at this event). I don’t think Strong Tower camp is exclusively FAC Marysville youth but it is the same district so they were there. FAC Marysville is a very wealthy congregation and (from my outsider perspective anyway) seem to be the trendsetter, mover/shaker congregation for younger upci folks. Very flashy, very tech savvy. Many, if not all the districts had their youth camps this week (and they all did some “District War” competition against one another that seemed to be mainly a joke/meme thing), and Strong Tower, where these memes came from, definitely leaned the hardest into like young internet culture for theirs. They made a ton of reels that used various trending filming styles/jokes/cuts/editing techniques.
I took a bunch of screenshots and screen recordings and was thinking about making a post about how all the district’s organizers clearly had some meetings about appealing to teens because they were all using a lot of the same meme and reel styles and jokes and such, to varying success depending on the district. But like because the upci fundies are such a niche topic on this subreddit I wasn’t sure how to explain the whole thing and make it easy to follow for all snarkers, not just the few of us who are interested in the apostolics.
Ok, sorry, that was like a whole rant. The TLDR is yes I think it’s a joke and an attempt at gen alpha humor but also like these guys are single, and likely looking for girlfriends!
This is so interesting! I would totally read / watch any post you'd make about it
I would also read anything on this topic for sure!
I made part 1 of my upci info post and shared it on r/fundiefashion as I was unable to post it in this sub, idk why.
On it!
I wonder why it didn't show up here. That was an interesting read and if that sub doesn't get traction I would be interested in hear more from other people here. Maybe ask a mod what's going on and how you can post?
I messaged the mods. I post here fairly often and have had this problem a few times before- maybe the post was too long but I cut it down to shorter than what I shared on fundie fashion and it still never showed up. I gave it an hour and tried a second time, still nothing. I did send the mods mod mail but this being a big sub I think they likely get a lot of mod mail.
It is not the first time I post I made about lesser known fundies never appeared, I’m not sure if maybe the mods don’t allow posts about certain fundies. Like I couldn’t get a post I wrote about Kayla of vivakayla/Herkindrednest/Daintyfolks to show up recently so idk what’s up.
That's so weird. There have been a few posts recently about minor fundies so why wouldn't this show up. Weird. Either way I will he looking out for your part 2
Ok it may take me a day or so bc I have a toddler but I’ll put together a post
I ended up making the upci info post on r/fundiefashion as I was unable to post it here for some reason
This is the context right here!
The levels of secondhand embarrassment are too high right now.
I can't help but like it because it's fukken ridiculous, but all the stats should have been as ridiculous as chair-lifting. Rizz? None of these dorks have rizz.
My new "bo"? Jesus wept, SODT strikes again (it's beau, unless all these god-fearing dudes are named Bo).
This was the thing I focused on the most, lol.
"Gentelman". And it gave me the hives even though I am not a native speaker.
In the early 2000's I heard it as my "boo".
They meant the traditional use of “beau” which makes it worse
“Almost died but lived” got me. This is just weird.
The one that got me was "name sounds like laundry" what 😭
Calling all God fearing girlies looking for a guy whose name sounds like laundry. 🧺
His last name is Presson, too. I think his parents were actually playing with the laundry associations in both names by naming him Landry (what a weird thing to do).
It made be laugh because I said it as laundry when I first read it
Name sounds like laundry which is so coincidentally what you will be doing for him the rest of your lives if you agree to be his wife
“Gentelman”
Came here for this comment
"Wears hat backwards" is a real selling point.
I don't understand the age -20 (9+10) ... Anyone have an idea?
It's a reference to a popular vine in which a little kid says that 9+10 = 21. Seems like another part of their effort to be relatable with Gen Z humor as the other commenter was talking about
I'm guessing it's an inside joke from the kid in the post doing math wrong at some point but honestly no idea
Um... can any of these guys lead or provide for a family? Oh, wait - I see they included "tall" and "juggle" and "flexible ankles" as important qualities.
But, did see he’s tall?
Oh these people did these men dirty.
"Gentelman", none with decent job security, blatantly pointing out they have no charisma. "Preacher in TRAINIG". One kid apparently 21(9+10) so unsure if 19 or 399.
And then you have the pastor thinking he's Elwood Fuckin' Blues with his mission from god schtick.
It’s them trying to be relatable to the younger gen. There was a popular vine that went “ what’s 9+10?” and the kid responded “21”
so embarrassing for their life and soul
Men? These are babies. They're not bachelors; they're little boys. It's so gross that we're at a point now where teens are being groomed for marriage possibly even before they graduate high school.
My panties shriveled looking at this cringey nightmare.
The pastor is 30, the “like 40” is an attempt at self-deprecating humour. The whole thing is really off.
No no no don’t you dare tell me he’s 30, I’ll have a midlife crisis at 29, he doesn’t look 30 he looks closer to 40 lmao
Icky
Seems very grooming-adjacent.
"Almost died but lived." I can't with this lmao
This is gonna go on my damned tombstone lmao
I'm so uncomfortable that they're rating these boys looks and then posting them online for strangers to see. Like what?? This is the kind of stuff that can crush a teenager.
I was horrified for the last dude who had no looks column. But apparently he’s the youth pastor who is 30 lol.
Wtf. They rated looks, and chair lifting skills what kind of crazy bullshit is this.
The chair lifting skills is a joke from putting away all the stackable chairs after church events. It’s a thing that all the “able bodied young men” are expected to do and has sort of become a running joke. The Mormons do it too.
We, as the ‘ladies’ would always outshine the ‘men’ just so we could make fun of them.
We also all played on the church sports teams and would rag on each other so I didn’t go to the strictest of churches by any means.
This is one of the few jokes common with fundies that also carried over into my non-fundie congregation. After events, people (but especially teenage boys) loved to compete to see how many stacked chairs they could carry in one trip. I think they thought it would make cleanup go by faster if they could move more chairs at once, but really it was just a bunch of people making a damn fool of themselves.
lol is that Kratos silhouette as the first page
“Name sounds like laundry” 💀
I think I might, for once, be speechless
That guy who "is like 40 lol" will probably end up with a barely 18 year old bride. This is gross AF.
W.T.F!!!!!!
I just can’t get by the “looking for a princess [to respect]”
love that they spelt it 'bo'. You mean beau? stupid
There’s a distinct lack of rizz amongst those lads. Ohio skibidi.
I'm so angry that I know what this means.
They spelled training wrong.
Fun fact. Chase condon, son of upc pastor mark condon, attends and does a lot if not all of FACMaryvilles social media. He’s also married to sarahjessicacondon one of the ones we love to snark lol. Also, Landon Gore preached some of the camp this year. I know he’s upc. What’s his story? He is ancient to not be married in these organizations. His sermons were psychotic.
Do they all also have to alert their neighborhood of their "tower" status?
ok chair lifting ability is funny
but ffs some of these are children!
What is the 21 (9+10)?!?
What does Laundry do? He is the only one with job security apparently. How does a teen have job security?
He's a pastor in training
🤢 yeesh
"Gentelman"
Is “chair lifting” really a thing? I’m old. I dunno.
What in the groomingfuck?
I half thought this was a joke
And this is why Jesus won’t come back.
I thought BoneMe Raw Veal was the champion of cringe, but damn, she’s been beaten.
I’m SHOCKED apostolic Pentecostals aren’t talked about more in this group. I just left the UPC last august. It’s a fricken cult and extremely fundie.
SO culty!! How are you doing since leaving?
Gross. You know adults made these ratings and not their peers.
Omg!!!! This feels like child trafficking
Would not be shocked if these are discovered on Grindr. 40 yr old youth pastor is sus
Not the chair lifting!
Wow. A 40 year old who hangs out with teens and has no job security. Tempting.
The whole thing is weird but as a former (very into) youth group kid, the chair lifting ability makes me laugh a bit. I'm glad the important things don't change.
“Almost died but lived”
Noah looks like trouble 👀
Feels like an unconventional way to find love, but who knows?
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