Help not killing my boyfriend

Hello! My boyfriend suffers from very severe food allergies to nuts, peanuts, sesame, and shellfish. He’s coming to stay with me for a couple nights this week and I would like to cook for him. We cook a lot together at his apartment and I always feel comfortable because I know that he doesn’t have any allergens in his kitchen, and we only bring food in that we know he can have obviously. My kitchen, however, is not that.

I’m not so worried about the actual food I make having allergens, because I know what to avoid, but what about my cookware/utensils? Are there any ways I can prepare my actual kitchen to be cross contamination free? And tips for cleaning/sanitizing that I could use going forward? I just want him to feel comfortable in my space and with the food I prepare for him. Thanks in advance for your advice!

Edit: Thank you all for your tips/advice! I plan on thoroughly handwashing cookware before running it through the dishwasher. I also bought a new sponge to use just for non-contaminants. I’m going to thoroughly clean the kitchen counters/appliances as well, even the utensil holder.

Something I thought of myself that may be helpful if any of you are in a similar situation with your S.O. is I put little neon orange stickers (think the little paper ones you find in the office supplies) on anything in my house that is an allergen. This way I can put all allergens away in one section, I know if I eat something that is an allergen I can brush my teeth after (death by kiss is a no go), and we don’t have to check everything single thing a million times. It was good to see how little I had to put stickers on, especially on things that weren’t already obvious.

Still let me know if you have any other ideas or considerations! Thanks again!

in FoodAllergiesby jennaallynn

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peachcraft4

no help from me but can I just say how fckn sweet it is of you to make him feel safe w/ his allergies? 🥹 every food allergy baby needs a partner like you ❤️

jennaallynn

Thank you for your kind words! Truly the least I can do ❤️

jenjen96

You can always buy some cheap pans and utensils that are designated allergen free!

N4507

This is what my grandma does. Target has a pretty cheap line and she keeps it in a storage box for when I visit.

dinamet7

Same with my mom (for her grandkid) she has a little cabinet with all his dedicated cookware.

Cold-Pen6374

I’d kill to have a partner like you lol

jennaallynn

Y’all’s partners should be doing everything they can to make you feel safe in their space ❤️ I love to cook for him, and this is just a part of the package!

Hell9876

For real. Amazing

BlackWaterSeal

First, you are a cool and thoughtful person. Second, wash cookware and utensils thoroughly, with dish detergent. Sanitizing doesn’t get rid of the proteins that he is allergic to. Soap, water and lots of agitation. If you are still unsure, paper plates and plastic forks this time around. Stay away from any “May Contain”. Treat May Contain as Do Contain just to play safe. Probably some more tips others here can help.

jennaallynn

Yes, we stay away from “may contain” already, but good to know that the dishwasher is really where it’s at in terms of properly cleaning everything. Thank you!

BlackWaterSeal

I’ll just add, dishwasher is ok, but nothing beats a meticulous hand wash of pans, dishes and utensils.

vannari

I'd say wash and then also put in the dishwasher. If you can, having designated safe cookware is a good idea. If not, make sure you use a different sponge for washing up his items than what you use normally. And I agree, this is very sweet. ❤️

Chellaigh

One more thing that hasn’t been mentioned yet: watch out for any condiment-type items that might be cross-contaminated. IE, if you have ever made toast with bread that contains sesame, and you used a knife to spread some butter on your toast, and then you used that knife to cut more butter—your butter could now be cross-contaminated with sesame. Or things like jelly—if you made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich where you (or someone else) used the peanut butter knife to scoop jelly out of the jar, that jelly is cross-contaminated with peanut. It would probably be safest not to use any item that might have happened to, and just open a new stick of butter or jar of jelly etc. for him.

jennaallynn

Yes! This is the thing that makes me most nervous, but usually we buy ingredients all new!

izzy0727

Do you have a utensil tray? Does it have crumbs in the bottom? Clean the utensil tray!

jennaallynn

See this is something I wouldn’t have thought about! Thank you!

izzy0727

No prob! Best of luck, it will be ok!

jack3308

As someone who's 30 with a severe dairy allergy, I can say you are the sort of partner/friend I always appreciated so much! Even just thinking about that sort of thing made me feel much more seen in a way that I very rarely did. So, thank you for being you.

But, to your question.

This will really depend on the severity of his reactions. A little more info on his precautions, past reactions, and how he behaves in public regarding his allergy will help to ascertain the level to which things may be a problem. As it stands, if he hasn't brought any of it up I doubt it's something you need to worry about. We tend to be pretty cautious, so if he was worried about it he'd have likely said so. That being said, if you have washed utensils well (comparable to how they'd come out of a dishwasher) then you should be fine. Detergent and soap are GREAT at getting rid of allergens. The first literally blasts them away in the dishwasher, and the second traps them in little microscopic spheres of soap and the slip right down the drain. Just be cognizant of surfaces (counters, chopping boards, etc...) that don't get cleaned the same way/as much.

jennaallynn

He is pretty cautious in public, and always tells servers/wait staff all of his allergens. For example, we always ask at Mexican restaurants if they fry any shrimp or shellfish in the same oil they fry the chips in kind of thing. I can recite the speech he gives to them in the same cadence he does. We often avoid places where it could be an issue at all (no Asian food, damn you sesame).

In my kitchen I don’t often cook with his allergens, on accident really. I have nuts/peanut products in the house, but they’re often more “snacks” and not something I use in my cooking so that helps.

He hasn’t brought it up to me at all, but if he does I hope I can tell him everything I’ve done ahead of time to prepare. Definitely gonna run everything through the dishwasher/sanitize everything very well. Good idea with the separate sponge, I’ll definitely get one! I wouldn’t have thought of that!

Thank you for your kind words! I truly see it as the bare minimum I can do to make him feel safe and comfortable in my home. He’s 100% worth any of what could be considered a hassle.

Maple_Person

Anaphylaxis | OAS | Asthma

Cleaning with soap and water should be good. It depends on how severe his allergy is, but I’d clean all dishes by hand with soap and water, twice if I’m uncertain, and then I’d ALSO throw them all the in dishwasher to be extra safe.

Then with a CLEAN cloth, use soap and scrub down all tables and counters, cabinet handles, the microwave, the stove buttons/knobs, the oven handle, etc.

If his allergy severity is to a level of airborne, I’d say to ask him directly and do whatever he requests. If it’s contact-based, then what I described should be safe. If it’s ingested-only (not severe enough for minor cross-contamination to be an issue) then there should be no problem so long as new ingredients are used and everything is washed/scrubbed down well.

astoriaa_

was in a similar position as yours a while ago, love to see the care and compassion for your partner :)

mosquitotitties

peanut, tree nut, sesame allergy

i’d give the whole kitchen a good cleaning with lysol or clorox. any utensils and dishes that are run through the dishwasher should be safe, i’ve never reacted from using certain dishes or utensils in my 25 years

nbx909

Egg, Tree nuts, Fish, Shell Fish Allergy

Ask him, go over ingredients for what you want to cook with him, grocery shop with him, cook with him. I did this with all my serious SOs and continued until I trusted that they knew what to do to not kill me (and they were comfortable with this as well)

Runnrgirl

I have two allergy kids- just double wash any cookware or utensils with hot soapy water and clean/new sponge before using. Don’t use cast iron, wood cutting boards or wooden utensiles to cook for him as its harder to remove allergens. Check every label twice.

If you are cleaning properly most items are low liklyhold of cross contamination.

lavande-et-jules

as long as you actually clean the items, it’s all good

lavande-et-jules

oh also wipe down and clean counters before just to be extra careful

lavande-et-jules

meant to say more (i have a severe nut, peanut, and shellfish allergy)

people often forget about cross contamination within items like flour. make sure the flour type ingredients didn’t have a may contain label, or that you didn’t use a measuring cup for nuts then the same flour thing.

if you have a dishwasher, just use that for the dishes/utensiles/cookware before and you’ll be all good