As someone who identifies as a puristical traditionalist (wet flies only, bamboo rods, silk line, tweed underpants, NO NET, wicker creel to keep my captured gills fresh and moist for frisky fun) I prefer the old ways of measuring my prize - outright fabrication. You jerkers may think that a to-scale photo of your wife’s boyfriend’s dong imprinted into the bottom of your net provides some semblance of accuracy - and maybe it does. But don’t be a cuck on the water too. Make shit up. Tell yourself and others the same types of lies about fishing as you do about the rest of your impoverished lives. For example, yesterday I landed 1, 6” brook trout and missed the take on another. It poured rain all day and I was mostly miserable. During a stream side chat this turned into landing 2, 8” brookies and another I lost. By the time I got home I had landed 2, 8” brookies, a solid 15” rainbow and 6 carp under sunny skies for the “best day on the water in a long time!” (Just lying about catching carp is enough, no need to lie about the size or weight.)
This is fucking dumb. Let me spell it out for you alright. Never actually measure a fish. Eye ball the fuckers and anything close to 16” is a 20”. Anything close to 20” you lost 3 seconds after the hook set so it was a 24”+ hog that “spat the hook”. If you aren’t lying you aint even in the game and my wife’s boyfriend will out fish you every time.
Throw away account to protect the innocent (me):
As someone who identifies as a puristical traditionalist (wet flies only, bamboo rods, silk line, tweed underpants, NO NET, wicker creel to keep my captured gills fresh and moist for frisky fun) I prefer the old ways of measuring my prize - outright fabrication. You jerkers may think that a to-scale photo of your wife’s boyfriend’s dong imprinted into the bottom of your net provides some semblance of accuracy - and maybe it does. But don’t be a cuck on the water too. Make shit up. Tell yourself and others the same types of lies about fishing as you do about the rest of your impoverished lives. For example, yesterday I landed 1, 6” brook trout and missed the take on another. It poured rain all day and I was mostly miserable. During a stream side chat this turned into landing 2, 8” brookies and another I lost. By the time I got home I had landed 2, 8” brookies, a solid 15” rainbow and 6 carp under sunny skies for the “best day on the water in a long time!” (Just lying about catching carp is enough, no need to lie about the size or weight.)