I've been with my partner for a little over 2 years now. He made it very clear early on that he wanted to get married. I have 2 children from a previous relationship and they absolutely adore him.
Last year, we split because I was very unhappy with him. I had just received a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, I was constantly anxious and he was fed up and didn't know how to help me.
He cheated on me and I decided to end things with him. He came to realise that he had made a horrible mistake and he did everything to try and get back with me. Over 3 months, we talked and worked things out and just before Christmas I decided we would give it another go.
It's been better than ever. Yes, there are things we need to work on but we are so happy together and we are committed to building a future together.
So, this is where the conflict has come in with my family.
He proposed to me on my birthday and I posted the news on social media. Not a single person from my family and none of my friends congratulated us.
No one on my side supports our relationship. I can understand the reservations that people have, especially since he has quite a questionable past as well as having cheated on me previously. But I've spoken about this and no one cares. My mother even invited my ex (my children's dad) down to stay with her! Despite the fact that man punched me in the face when I was pregnant!
No one in my family shows me any loyalty or kindness or understanding...it's always been that way and now it's like they just think I'm incapable of making my own decisions. I mean, even if you didn't agree, you'd want to at least let your loved one know that they were supported, right? But that's just it...I feel like no one in my family ever loved me.
I'm thinking I just want to cut them all out of my life. I'm tired of having to prove myself to people who have never shown me loyalty or acceptance (and that's not an exaggeration, my mother is literally the single most selfish, unaware person in the world).
TLDR; I want to cut my family out of my life because they won't accept my engagement and I'm done trying to win their acceptance and love.
If you aren't in counseling, I think you should start. You could start individual counseling and maybe couples therapy. Then maybe move into family counseling. Being diagnosed with a mental illness is a lot to deal with, and having a professional to talk to and guide you can help. I know you want someone who loves you to support you right now as you're going through this. His proposal coinciding with your diagnosis is a red flag. I know it may seem like he's accepting you and loving you when you feel you're at your worst, but he could also be using the situation to his advantage. You could tell him you can remain engaged, but you need time to figure out your mental health diagnosis and what that means. He may say ok, but if he starts pressuring you later, you may need to re-evaluate your relationship. For the time being, your focus should be on you and your mental health. The rest will work itself out.