Entitled Retired Military

S

I just remembered this after speaking with a customer service rep on the phone and she used military terminology.

I was in the military from 1983 to 1986. This took place in the late 80's early 90's. I was in line at a store waiting to be served. There was an older man who was currently being waited on. I don't remember the particulars because it was over 30 years ago but he was berating the clerk because she didn't know military terminology. We were at a store with locations all over the US and we were not on post.

I stepped in and let him have it. He told me that he was a retired Sargeant Major and this is a military town and she needs to know the lingo. I told him that he is in the civilian world right now and they aren't required to know military lingo. If we were on post then yeah they should know the lingo.

Frankly I can't remember the rest because it was so long ago but I always had a partition in my brain. When I was at work I went to the latrine when I was outside of post it was the bathroom.

in EntitledPeopleby myatoz

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Tundra-Queen8812

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Yeah my favorite was when I would have some officer's wife try yelling at me about something and then say "Do you know who my husband is!!!? Like really I could give a flying F*ck lady, I decided to serve and put on the uniform and while I may have to salute your husband when he is around, you are NOT in the military and I don't owe you anything. I would do petty things to get back at them that wouldn't get me in trouble with my career. People like that suck.

And, suck as in your case, said Sergeant Major is now retired and is no longer in charge. He doesn't get to just be a dick and have it fly so too bad for him.

OP

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Oh, believe me, some officers' wives were the worst. They just wanted to wear their husband's rank. I'm like fuck you bitch, if you want the rank then join the military.

My father was a career soldier 26 1/2 years. He never spoke about the Army, and from the time I was 7 until he retired when I was 16, I had no clue about rank. He didn't bring his work home with him, and he dressed in civilian clothes.

I joined the military at 22 just to escape. I found out that only officers were saluted when entering the gate. I thought everyone was saluted because I didn't know my father was an officer. I would go on post as a teenager and was always saluted.

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It’s payday at Navy Federal credit Union on base and the line of wives is out the door. We’re all just waiting patiently in the heat and humidity because, well, that’s what we did then. In comes a woman, dressed pretty expensively for the time, early 1980s, and cuts right in front of the line of women waiting to cash their husband‘s checks, and demands to be waited on. She used the usual line, “do you know who I am?” The teller looked straight at her and said “ma’am, it doesn’t matter who you are. You get to go to the back of the line.” She raised hell, the manager was called, and told her the same thing. In all that time, the line had moved quite a bit, and she would’ve been probably halfway to the tellers if she got in line when she first arrived at the credit union. Many of us were commenting quietly to each other that she got exactly what she deserved. And we were applauding the tellers.

OP

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Lol. Why didn't they have direct deposit?

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This was when the military was still issuing paychecks. A lot of people preferred them to direct deposit. Some years later, that policy changed and all military checks were on direct deposit.

OP

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I joined in late 83 and got checks in basic and AIT. When I got to my duty station in early 84, the first thing they did was take me to the credit union to open an account to get direct deposit going. Screw standing in line to cash a paycheck, lol.

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Checks were IBM punch cards, “do not fold, spindle or mutilate”

OP

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Well, that's ancient.

SunflowersnGnomes

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Before marrying my husband, I thought all military were saluted. Husband had to explain he isn't saluted because he is enlisted. I had asked him why the newer people in his unit didn't salute him. My mind was blown that day. Then I asked him if my kid went to the Academy if he would have to salute my kid afterwards and he was like "...technically..."

OP

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Lol.

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Can't people in the military get in trouble bc of how their spouse/family act towards others. Ik that it's known in some places as wearing your spouse's rank.

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One of my postings a "do you know who my spouse is" attitude could end up said spouse in front of the 1-Star Base Commander having a chat about their dependants attitude and behavior.

Used_Conference5517

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See above it depends on command

Tundra-Queen8812

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Well see they are really not supposed to but, try to stop them, especially when they then bring that spouse with rank around. I'm sure that plenty of those entitled spouses had their food spit in to say the least, lol.

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No serious discipline, but I could see a situation where the commander lets his wife know what the dependa has been doing and the commander’s wife gives her a taste of her own medicine.

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Ugh.. I have a special dislike for dependas. I used to live and work in a city that hosted a large JRB, and we had such an issue with dependas. You knew you were gonna have a problem when they'd come in with a shirt that said "thank a military spouse".. You could just feel the argument brewing. It was always demanding a military discount, shrieking about who their spouse is, how they serve more than their military spouse does (which is probably the most insulting part). The only silver lining was that you could call their partner's CO to get it handled and it was usually more effective than calling the police.

The worst was working retail where we didn't actually offer a military discount. Worked briefly at Godiva, which was located every close to the base. They'd ask about a discount and just pretend they didn't hear me when I'd say we didn't have one. Ask when they walked in, then while shopping, then at the register and throw a fit when I explained for about the 100th time that WE DIDN'T HAVE ONE. It always became "then this should be free". Ever considered stabbing someone in the eye with fancy chocolate?

Usually the soldiers themselves were quite nice. It was the older veterans that had this rude, entitled attitude. The whole I fought for your freedom to stand there, or grasping at some youth by using as many military terms they can remember, despite it not making any sense, and then screaming at you when you both realize that it didn't make any sense.

Shotgun_Rynoplasty

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/r/justdependathings

Shotgun_Rynoplasty

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/r/justdependatbings

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You, obviously, are not from India. He we have to fear not just the elephant, but its dung too.

Frequent-Material273

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Hmmm, are these the feared 'Dependas' we've heard so much about?

Inevitable-Divide933

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I am retired from the Army and worked in finance. The number of spouses who would come in or call thinking they could take care of things for their military spouse was staggering. I had to tell one wife to step back so that I could talk to her husband. She said that she takes care of all of their money. I said that the Army pays him, not her, so I am only talking to him.

I had another wife who completed some paperwork for a bonus and submitted it with a copy of her power of attorney since her husband was in a combat zone. I sent it back and said that she is not allowed to make a career decision for him. For all I knew she was going to take the money and run.

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I am sorry to question, but the second one I do not understand. If the spouse has a valid power of attorney for the deployed service member, is that not exactly what it is for? To be able to transact business as needed while the service member is not able to?

Inevitable-Divide933

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As I said, it was a career decision. Taking that money would have reduced his retirement. I had no idea of knowing if he was okay with this. We normally only allow the power of attorney to answer questions, provide a copy of the leave and earnings statement, and other simple things.

OP

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Right? Some of those Army wives are nuts. I was always like bitch you're not in the Army stop trying to wear your husband's rank.

I was admin and working in the PAC. Luckily, we never had any problems with the officers' wives except one. She wanted to throw a party and have the enlisted serve. Needless to say it never happened.

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Ohhhhhhh. This is good to know. I think you just answered a question I was wondering. Thank you.

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Good for you!

OP

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Thank you. I'll always stand up for people being berating for no reason.

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I worked in the critical care step down unit of our local hospital and years ago I got a phone call from a man claiming to be a 4 star general needing info on his girlfriend’s sister because she had a heart attack. First I had to explain HIPPA and that I really couldn’t give any information but I could let him know if she had been admitted since he was saying his girlfriend was all upset because she had no clue what was happening. He had what the sister’s last name was, sorry I can’t help you, so the 4 star general tells me how he will have me fired and I don’t know how I’m dealing with along with cussing at me, I just hung up. He was not the first poor behaved person I had to deal with on the phone, I even hung up on some of or Dr who thought cussing because they couldn’t get their way was appropriate. I had an awesome boss who always told the Doctors I had his permission to hang up if they couldn’t be civil.

OP

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Good for your boss. All bosses/managers should have their employees back like that.

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He was one of the best I worked for. Just asked me to give him a heads up every time I hung up on Drs and since I was one of the few people in the hospital who would he always thought it was funny.

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It has been 30 years for me and the lingo has changed. There is a lot of new equipment and jargon. Of course, a lot of the jargon and gear I knew is long obsolete.

OP

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Yeah, I know. I've been out for 38 years 😬

notsohappycamper33

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I hated saluting the officers' cars. Driven, of course, by their wives when husbands were at work.

Out of all customs this was the most stupid one.

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I always say “sir/ma’am” until they request I say something specific. Even if I’m met with the all too common “I risked my life to not be addressed as sir/ma’am”, I always make sure I correct myself.

A simple “please address me as [insert rank]” from the old codger would’ve been good enough, he didn’t need to belittle the employee!

OP

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If you're retired, you don't wear that rank anymore, and it means nothing in the civilian world even if you aren't retired.

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If someone wants to be addressed as something, shouldn’t that be respected whether they’re retired or not?

OP

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It depends on how respectful they act towards you. Respect is a two-way street.

Nearby-Yak-4496

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I have worked in retail furniture for the last 30+ years and were given to understand by the JAG at JBLM that the power of attorney given to spouses couldn't be used for financial purposes (borrowing money, opening lines of credit etc) precisely because some unscrupulous spouses would borrow $$$$ under the service member's credit and then leave him owing large amounts of money. Consequently, furniture stores, automobile lots, and appliance stores were told that if we took them, we would be blacklisted for all JBLM personnel using our store. It wasn't anything official in the POA but was purely from the base JAG.

OP

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What's JBLM?

BirthdaySalt2112

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Joint Base Lewis-McCord (Washington). Could mean something else, of course, but that's what I found, and it fits the context. If the furniture store sold lots of furniture on credit to a spouse with power of attorney and caused a problem for a person in the military, the base command could bar base personnel from doing business with that company.

I read a post a while ago where something similar happened. A bar owner was hassling an enlisted soldier, and while I don't remember all the particulars, the bar owner ended up destroying the man's military ID.

The enlisted man was terrified about going back to the base without his ID. He reported things to his immediate superior as soon as he got back on base. He was told to get another ID made the next day and faced no other repercussions.

The bar owner was not so fortunate. The superior sent the report of the incident straight up the chain of command until it reached the base commander. He was new to his assignment but took no shit where his men and women were concerned.

The next night, the immediate superior, his next two superiors, and the base commander visited the bar. The owner was unapologetic about the incident.

The base commander looked around at the bar, full of base personnel, and announced that the bar was now off limits to base personnel. Everyone left, and I think the post said the bar closed not too long after the incident.

OP

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Lol, that's funny. I still live in a military area, and I'll see articles here and there of local businesses being added to the off-limits list.

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Was he wearing "The Hat"?

OP

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Ok, you got me. What's "the hat?"

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The classic vet hat they all seem to wear when they go out in public.

OP

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Ok. I don't recall it was 30+ years ago. All I remember about him was that he was an asshole, lol.

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Always piles of them for sale at flea markets...

OP

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Back then, the classic would've been "Vietnam Vet." I bet there are a lot of them at flea markets nowadays.

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Ack; that guy probably has a raging case of PTSD and doesn't even know it.

OP

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I have no clue, except he was a massive aashore. My dad was in Vietnam, as was his brother and a cousin. The cousin was an Air Force pilot who was shot down and spent 7 years as a POW. So yeah, fuck him. My mother's oldest brother was killed in WWII, so no sympathy here.

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