Wtf? First of all I don't make baby dishes like an omelet which is just egg. It's got to have minimum 12 ingredients that you can only get from an italian grocery store in a large city like new york or chicago or is only found in asia. Of course I just buy everything online and make sure to pay a huge delivery fee for dinner that night because it's worth it and I can taste the difference I think. My wife says why not just make a substitute and use cheaper canned tomato instead of offical DOP san marzanos. Now that's taking it too far. She says why not just improvise instead because we really can't afford to make another kenji dish from serious eats and I said F off under my breath and kind of threw a huge fit and whined until she got tired and said whatever and went away. She says do we really need the 20 dollar olive oil and I said YES, alright, otherwise I'm not a real chef!
Wife is mad I spend minimum 100 dollars to make every dish.
aiggsI mean it’s one banana Michael, what could it cost? Ten dollars?
Should have checked the banana stand.
There's Always! Money! In! The Banana Stand!
What kind of rinky-dink omelet are you making with fewer than 12 ingredients?
Seven or eight of those had better be aiggs
I mean, you have to account for the umami and the delicate balance of herbs, not to mention the perfect creaminess that I have yet to get my chicken-cow hybrids to lay despite feeding them nothing but cream cheese and mayonnaise. Then there's the cheese, which is lovingly made from the milk my cow-chicken hybrids give. The plain, boring eggs are merely binding agents.
Note: if you are not at my level of genius, do NOT try breeding roosters and cows. It's exacting and physically demanding, even if you do have the help of your spouse and his or her boyfriend.
Just out of curiosity, why are there so many jokes about spouses having boyfriends on this subreddit? Like does it originate with a particular post?
because people think "you can tell I'm a loser because some other man gets to enjoy my woman's body" is peak comedy
Ahhh. Not as deep as I thought then. Lol
It is possible to enjoy both high and lowbrow humour!
Yeah, clearly it's me being snobbish. Not the fact that this joke gets made 60 times a day.
If it costs less than 100 to make, then it doesn't deserve to be my breakfast
12 ingredients? I use 12 kinds of fish sauce. Try being a better cook.
of course. And you can't even taste the fish sauce, just the umami, as fish sauce is the subtlest sauce in the world
Fish sauce. GTFO.
Ride or die on oyster sauce.
That you make yourself by fermenting it 3 months in the sun in summer.
All in individual little glass bowls for the mise en scene.
Assuming you meant mise en place, but with much more theatricality, bravo!
I Did! lol, I think it works either way because now I imagine taking all the little bowls of oyster sauce and throwing them at the wall to "check if it's done" and making a great background painting. I was a drama kid so my brain got highjacked from memory of when I peaked in high school.
How are you doing that for $100?
I need to follow your budgeting tips.
Is she dumb!? If you are at comparable restaurants (as if! Restaurants these days are all Sysco and butter) you'd easily spend 500/course/person. You're actually SAVING your family four hundos a day. Ruminate on that wOoMiN
Ugh I ate out last night at a nice restaurant and my tummy has been hurting all day due to the mass amount of butter. 🙄
You need a new wife with two jobs and a pallet that appreciates the effort you put forth.
How many jobs do you have
wife needs a forklift to taste things on her pallet
I’ve got two😉
Let’s get married
Only if I can have a taste of that olive oil and the Circle Jerkers cater the reception.
Yeah sure since you're paying for it
I’m applying for more credit cards and a loan to keep you in the lifestyle you’re deserving. Pick the date!
Saturday? When will the cards/loan be in effect
The bank has my paperwork. Now we wait. Meanwhile I’m selling plasma and having bake sales.
If you’re not spending a minimum of $120,000 per year in groceries you might as well just eat at restaurants 🤢
yup. otherwise it's not a real hobby ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
No just my experience trying to make an average recipe from serious eats or nyt cooking or something like that. And the better the food looks, the more expensive/time inducing it is
I’m honestly amazed she thinks you can fly to San Marzano and back daily for less than $100 a meal.
Women just have no idea about money. Ask her how much she thinks a banana costs.