A local asshole was going on about participation trophies, which I would usually ignore, but I saw an opening so I began agreeing with him. "Yep, participation trophies suck." "Oh yeah, only the weak have them..."
Then I asked a question: "If participation trophies are so bad, why do you have one?"
Him: "What are you talking about?"
Me: "That hat on your head says you're a Vietnam veteran. We lost that war. You're wearing a participation trophy."
Him: <Pauses to process what I said.> "WTF?! How dare you! I'm a veteran..."
Me: "I'm a veteran too, but we won the wars I was in (Cold War, First Gulf War). Carry on White Flag."