I get you. I'm fairly certain I have skin cancer. After being made a statistic by the healthcare field I've come to the understanding that I'd rather die from an easily cured problem than to ever allow myself to be assessed by another healthcare "professional" ever again.
Yeah, I had trauma therapy this morning and we talked about my healthcare experiences. Looking back, I've been in an abusive relationship with the healthcare system. All the times I've been ignored, gaslit, blamed for their mistakes - and then I paid them for it. A decent percentage of my cPTSD is from the ignorance and arrogance of the medical field. Why would I go back to my abuser?