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They do, sometimes. Childcare work has always been undervalued, as I learned during my time as a provider in a private, religious preschool. I was severely underpaid, and eventually an excuse made up to fire me... I was the highest paid employee there after 3 years... at $9 per hour.
And I get that it's hard to find childcare at all these days, much less affordable childcare. I work with foster parents, and theirs is paid for, and they still struggle to find it in their areas.
With that said, so many of these people just seem to not understand that they are not entitled to low-cost in-home care. Nannies are, and always have been, a luxury. That's why childcare centers exist... to spread the cost of care across a community so that it costs less for everyone.
People seem to believe that they should pay the same amount for childcare in their home as they would for childcare in a center/home daycare. They don't understand economies of scale.
There are also the really wild ones, that want to pay a nanny 50 dollars a day and ask them to drive the kids around in their own vehicle, with their own gasoline, and even buy them snacks. Like... Wtf.
I’ve seen a few that want to pay $150 a WEEK for 5- 12 hour days.
Why are the private schools so damn cheap? You’d think the teachers would get paid more because , you know , all the parents have to pay to send their kids to these schools, but nope, private schools pay LESS than public. I was offered a job to be an English teacher at a private academy for 7th graders and I swear, it paid significantly less than warehouse jobs in the area.
I want to make sure that everyone is clear on that. A job, which required a college degree AND A teaching certification…paid less than an unskilled labor job that anyone can get straight out of high school
Bc they’re for profit in many cases
They’re for profit in all cases. But, follow me on this one. You have a private academy. Therefore you have adults who have more disposable income than most. In other words, the school itself is a product. Those people shelling out all that extra cash to keep their kids out of public school are expecting a higher standard. That includes the teachers.
So therefore, would you not think it would behoove them to hire the best possible candidates for the job? And what attracts the best of the best? Why, a competitive salary, naturally. At the VERY least, you should NOT being beat out by a damn warehouse (and by the way, I’m not talking about like a warehouse manager or any specialized role, no, this was entry level shit, you could get the job with zero skills, zero work experience and not even a high school diploma. All you needed to be was a legal adult.)
Look, teachers can care immensely about the education of future generations, but they have to make a living too
By the way, I am agreeing with you. That is 100% the reason, because the school is a for profit business, but the only teachers they’re going to be attracting with these pitiful salaries are those desperate for work or bottom of the barrel teachers.
And the desperate teachers will ditch the school the second they get a better offer
Yes, in our local mom's group today people were talking about the rates they would pay a nanny and this lady was like "I got paid $300 a week for my highest paying job, I don't know how parents today are affording this." Sorry to be elitist but not everyone needs a nanny. Either you can pay someone a fair living wage or put your kid in daycare, though I'm fairly sure our nanny makes more than people are making in daycare for a worse job caring for more kids.
I definitely relate. I worked in childcare and after several “raises” I was making 12.50$ an hour, to stand in the freezing cold (got below zero at times) for hours on end. Then in the summer to stand in the heat (got above 97 some days) for 8 hours a day. Left 2 years ago.
Recently looked at some job listings for my old job, and they’ve bumped the pay to “15-18$ an hour based on experience.” Gee thanks.
Sorry but I gotta ask- why exactly were you standing outside in freezing and hot temps for hours? What were you doing lol I don’t understand. Supervising kids playing outside and just standing there watching? I’m not trying to be snarky I just have no idea what you mean by that.
Pick up /drop off?
Maybe, but I’ve done that too in such weather, and you can just stay in your car until the last min when the kids come out, and have an umbrella etc. idk why you’d be standing in such conditions for hours!
She was the teacher, not the parent. How could she sit in her car while waiting for the students to come out?
They said they worked in childcare. That doesn’t mean a teacher. That’s why I asked. And not to be argumentative but do you think teachers stand outside “for hours in freezing cold and burning heat”? If anything, I picture maybe a summer camp type job, for the heat and standing around. But I was just curious.
Exactly what you said, supervising kids. Had to watch them to tell them not to do stuff that would get them hurt.
I agree with all that. And that was frustrates me is that when people can’t afford child care rates that are many more kids per adult, they think they should be able to pay less for private in home care.
It also makes me angry when they mention that it’s probably good for a teen or a student. As if it’s ok to devalue those people.
On the other hand, you don't just "get a daycare spot". My child is 18 months old and I've been on multiple waitlists in my city since I was 4 months pregnant. We should have a spot next month though.
There is not a daycare spot for every family who wants / needs it, forcing families to drop their kids off at a stranger's house and hope for the best or do their best to afford a nanny.
We are in the UK but my mum retires this year just in time to baby sit my new nibling after my FSiL maternity leave is finished. Even so my Bro and FSiL are seeing if others can help out the three days a week mum can't do it
Ah yes, the Christian daycares. I'll stop now before I offend someone, but IYKYK.
We know, we concede the point entirely and can't be offended on this one.
Quite true. Being underpaid was bad enough. Dealing with church politics... ugh.
In my state religious daycares don’t have to meat the basic safety standards other than employee background checks. It is why they often are able to be less expensive.
It’s not so much that people are desperate for childcare, it’s the outrageous demands that come with the insanely low offer of pay. The attitude and expectations that come with barely offering anyone anywhere NEAR a living wage. It’s just embarrassing. And of course, expecting nanny-level services (always been a luxury) for less than minimum wage is just laughable.
But ... but... they said I could use their wifi.
And one even offered to let me eat lunch! I had to provide my own, of course, but what a generous offer!
I’m turning the comments off. DM me for serious inquiries only. Must have a medical degree and a 7 passenger SUV. Lunch provided
Yeah, they advertise it like a nanny job with all the demands that come with it (CPR trained, background check, cameras everywhere, bring your own food, has to come over, needs own vehicle etc.) when really all they can afford or should look into is a stay at home parent in their neighbourhood whom they can drop their kid off at a few days a week. I can imagine there'd be some stay at home parents who have 2-3 kids of their own and wouldn't mind another one running around there for a bit of extra cash. If you want the royal treatment though, you need to be okay with spending pretty much one full income directly on childcare. And often that's worth it, to keep up with the job market, gain further experience, and contribute towards your retirement fund.
Exactly! I believe we SHOULD have subsidized daycare placement available. But what some of these clueless CBs are asking for is outrageous.
Yeah childcare is expensive and I made the same choice as you for a few years. What I (and you) DIDN’T do was try to hire a NANNY! Nannies are for high-income households. If you can’t afford daycare then you certainly can’t afford a PRIVATE NANNY, and most people implicitly understand that. It’s the people in these posts that don’t.
I think they're just all hoping to find some elder lady in the neighbourhood who loves kids but tragically doesn't have grandkids of her own and pretty much just wants to work out of the goodness of their heart. Or some early childhood education student who needs "work experience", and desperately wants to work for free.
I worked in childcare, and the pisser was that often those complaining loudest about the costs of childcare did not apply the same frugality in other areas of their lives: routine manicure/pedicures, expensive hair maintenance (several hundred dollars every few weeks to get the highlights touched up, for example); overseas vacations… it’s kind of a slap in the face to tell the person you trust with your child they’re too expensive when you are carrying a handbag that costs as much as a car.
Wow, well put.
It just comes down to so many people not being able to afford childcare.
The thing is -- childcare is expensive for everyone. But not everyone acts like the people whose posts are featured here.
The difference is empathy. No -- not empathy for the parents. Empathy for the potential caregivers.
There seems to unfortunately be a large segment of society that is no longer able (or maybe never was) to understand this simple fact: your problems are yours, and nobody else is responsible for fixing them for you.
Yes, childcare is expensive. Yes, it sucks.
No, that does not mean it's your potential childcare worker's responsibility to fix. No, it is not reasonable to expect them to work for peanuts because you "need them to."
I feel bad about the cost of childcare but I’m annoyed that a lot of the posters don’t seem to realize that the babysitters/nanny’s need to make a living wage too
I work in childcare. I recognize that childcare is expensive, but those who work in the industry already make a low wage, asking for us to make even less money to give you a nanny experience where only your children are there. That is not fair to the child care worker.
Not at all. Plenty of people have children with no regard to their care whether they're wealthy or poor.
Childcare is expensive but it's also why people are having way less kids. Not CBs though. They feel entitled to have their way on someone else's dime. If you don't have a solid financial plan, don't have kids. The worst part is when I see these ridiculous ads and they always have way too many kids. Like 3+. That's not someone who was responsible and fell on hard times. It's just someone who thinks the world owes them for choosing to have kids over and over again.
If they were putting out a desperate plea for an affordable daycare facility, that would be one thing.
I have never seen that.
It’s usually “you need to to leave your house at 6 AM to get to my house by 6:30 because I have to leave for work, then care for my 6 children and do light housekeeping, (the dogs are easy to care for, just need to be fed and walked,) until I return at 6 PM, M-F, $200 per week.”
If you can’t afford childcare, and can’t afford to stay home, then you should probably not be having kids.
That’s because the cost of living is incredibly high, and also because nannies & childcare workers are starting to realize their value. Childcare is such a mentally taxing & physically exhausting job. More often than not, the work goes unappreciated. Job responsibilities slowly start to increase, while pay stays the same. It’s not easy.
I hate to be that person, but if someone cannot afford childcare, that’s partially their fault. If people choose to have children, they need to be fully prepared financially. (yes I understand it isn’t always a choice, so I’m not talking about those situations.) But people need to budget, look at costs of childcare, anticipate prices going up, save up for childcare, have enough money saved if an emergency switch from daycare to nanny has to happen, etc.
Back in the day, one parent could afford to stay home while one worked, people were more family oriented and could leave their kinds w the grandparents, there used to be more community involvement, etc. Unfortunately capitalism has killed that, people don’t have the time or energy to help take care of others kids for free anymore, and as a result the demand for childcare has risen.
It’s all really the fault of the system, and that sucks, but until it changes, parents/guardians have to adjust accordingly.
It’s also problematic that people find themselves in this situation and their go-to is to expect strangers to do the work of caring for their children, at wages that are less than minimum wage. Sometimes with additional expectations of housecleaning, homeschooling, caring for pets, cooking, and chauffeuring.
Oh absolutely. Even at $25/hr that’s too much to ask. Nannies are supposed to perform childcare related tasks only. Anything extra requires extra pay, and even then, nannies arent supposed to be housekeepers!
No because I believe children should always be planned and who has a kid without thinking it all through. You should know you are either staying home with your kid of paying for childcare. All these parents acted shocked they have to pay someone to watch their kids.
It still blows my mind that kids are meant to be the most important thing in a parents life, yet they're happy to pass them off to some random who's willing to accept their low rate.
It sucks because some people are probably desperate and have no support from family or friends they can lean on. And maybe they can't afford much, or have a difficult schedule that makes it hard to find care at certain times.
The way some of them are worded though, you know they are just try to get a service and spend the least amount of money for it.
They seem delusional and sometimes way too entitled, but sometimes I think there's desperation. The great value of posting their pleas may be in educating people who contemplate parenthood to think out their strategies ahead of time. As an intentionally childless elder, I'm amazed that anyone (middle class or less,) who has a choice, is brave and optimistic enough to have children in the US now.
Kinda, yeah. Look, I get. Most of the choosy beggars aren’t trying to devalue childcare workers, they just probably don’t make a lot of money and don’t have any other options ( like grandparents, aunts and uncles, etc. ) but they NEED to work and someone has to watch their kids. So yeah, it does make me feel bad.
Of course , there are entitled ones as well, who are offering a pittance ( or sometimes nothing- but hey, you can live in our wonderful house, rent free! Oh, but you need to buy your own food, and no social life allowed, we need you to be there for our precious babies! Honestly, $5 an hour for my 4 kids is OVERPAYING YOU, because they’re such amazing kids, and honestly, they’re really self reliant!)
Those people are wastes of oxygen
They do, I usually end up saying something like you play you pay and end up getting blocked or kicked out of FB groups
I feel bad for the kids.
Same , and another point I’ve been actually thinking about is how many predators use cheap childcare and even free - as a means and proxy to abuse kids ! It’s terrible :(.
I agree. Or just desperate, incompetent people.
The whole thing is so sad.
Exactly!!! You get what you pay for quality wise I’d never leave with my kids besides their grandparents .. but if I paid I’d pay top dollar for the absolute best care possible!!!
This is my inner bitch coming out. You’re not entitled to kids. They’re expensive.
Do I think there should be better childcare in the US? Yes - I think it’s better for everyone. I am not sure what the answer is in the meantime but it is not to have numerous children and financially abuse some stranger to take care of them in a manner that is most convenient for you.
I have been saying it for years, the middle class is getting royally screwed when it comes to childcare.
When my kids were little my wife and I made just enough money to not qualify for any kind of assistance. Childcare places around us were charging $270/week and we had two kids. Thats $28k/year in childcare and you can only claim $3k per child on your taxes…
When we toured one of the facilities a lady pulled up in an older model mini van with rusted out fenders and picked up her 4 kids. On the car ride home my wife asked “how can she afford it?” And I told her, that woman probably pays $0.
OR, she can’t afford a nicer car because all her money goes to daycare.
Im a medical professional and make right below 6 figures a year.
I also drive a 2000 Chevy Tracker with 299,000 miles on it.
What you drive doesnt say shit about your income. Poor people who want to look rich give a shit about what car they drive
Do you also have 4 children in daycare?
That fact alone makes it highly probable she wasn’t paying, someone who could afford to pay $56k/year in childcare would likely either have one parent just stay home, or hire an Au Pair.
I have 2 in daycare. My wife and i both work.
Don’t feel bad. I can’t claim ANY of my private life choices on my taxes.
Right… except your mortgage interest, student loans, electric vehicle, dry cleaning your work uniform, charitable donations, etc
The cost of living has risen to the point that the majority of middle class families need two incomes, and yet childcare is unaffordable, barely deductible, and the lower class gets it for free. In other words, my taxes pay for their childcare while I get to write off 1/10th what I spend putting my own kids in daycare.
Nope. I rent, have no student loan, don’t drive a vehicle, don’t have work clothes to dry clean, certainly no uniform. My only tax deductions are for business. The IRS isn’t involved in my private life and doesn’t financially reward me with handouts because I chose not to use a condom. Having kids is a PERSONAL choice, and it shouldn’t even be known by the government. And it certainly shouldn’t be subsidized by people like me. How do you think your handouts are financed??
No mortgage. No student loans. No electric vehicle. I never had a job that required a uniform. Don’t make donations large enough to deduct.
You get to deduct your mortgage interest, student loan, etc too. Those aren’t dependent on reproductive status, silly billy!
On this sub? No.
People don’t get to exploit others bc they can’t afford it
I don’t see “childcare is expensive” as an excuse, though. I grew up in a neighborhood where no matter what you were a 2 income household, one parent either worked 2 jobs so one could stay home or one worked nights so the other could work days. Childcare has always been expensive but that’s not an excuse to try to offer people far far less than it’d be possible to live on.
No
It does bum me out, but also that’s why I didn’t have kids, as sad as that is. Bc I work in childcare, and I know exactly how much goes into it and how expensive it is. And I simply could not afford it, and don’t have family and friends close enough to help like “takes a village” style. Im paired with families via a nanny agency and I’m paid a reasonable amount but only bc the families that go through the agency are wealthy. Middle class or lower parents can’t afford the childcare they need. I do feel badly for some of the parents I see posted on here, bc they’re obviously desperate for help, but I don’t know why they think there is some magical “college girl” or something that can and will provide all they ask for at minimum wage. It just doesn’t make sense. A lot of these posts act like it’s no big deal to take care of 3+ kids, do cooking and light cleaning, drive to and from activities, and for full time hours!! At minimum or less than wage. That’s just crazy. I literally would have kids right now if I knew I could afford it, and I can’t, so I didn’t. For some of these posts, can you imagine what kind of person would take that job? It’s hard work, not to mention you’re entrusting your precious babies to someone else. You need to know they’re qualified. First aid and cpr certified, responsible.
It sucks, but one can’t expect to hire a professional, caring, educated, reference and background checked wonderful nanny, without paying top dollar, and these days it’s not even that much compared to COL. We actually make as much or more as teachers, which is why I didn’t go that route. It’s a messed up system. I’d rather specialize in working with particular children one on one (so infants, toddlers, and children with special needs) than have a class of 20-30 at once for the same pay. That’s so horrible that teachers are so underpaid.
Sorry so long!! Just hit close to home. I know all these people posting unreasonable pay/hours are not just cheap jerks or something, and I have no idea what the solution for them is. I think you have to be wealthy at this point to be able to have a career and children (U.S.) 😞
My retired grandma watched me when I was young. My aunt and uncle and mom and dad traded out watching each others kids, etc. My mom got "free" childcare my whole life. When I had a kid, she told me she wasn't going to spend her retirement being my babysitter. And Boomers wonder why everyone else hates them lol.
What blows my mind is how many grandparents bug their kids about having more kids. They guilt trip them, say shitty things about only kids being entitled and weird, act like they’re depriving them of more grandkids. Talk about how much they’re going to babysit and be hands on, then go ghost when the kid arrives or another.
Those kids spent so much time at grandma and grandpa’s house growing up they basically raised them. Then those parents have grandkids one day and don’t do much to help yet pester them repeatedly to have kids. They just want to post those grandkids on Facebook for their boomer friends and brag how they’re great grandparents.
I’m thankful to have helpful parents so this doesn’t apply to me. But I know plenty of people who it has happened to.
I wouldn’t want to watch kids in retirement either. What’s wrong with that?
Why should she if she doesn't want to? Did she say she would? Was there an agreement between her and you that you aren't mentioning? O Did you specifically talk to her about these assumptions before having kids?
Why the downvotes? What am I missing here? I'm guessing the downvotes are from people who don't like reality.
Having family help is great and can be wonderful but only if it's agreed upon by both parties.
You sound like an entitled, hateful brat. No wonder she doesn’t want to shoulder your responsibilities for you. I wouldn’t want to do it either for someone who displays such contempt for me.
Ah yes, a single snippet of a single conversation explains an entire lifetime of encounters. I'm not the entitled one in the relationship and at the time this was said to me, I had no kids. I didn't want kids.
Yeah, I kind of do. But if you have a kid or gaggle of them without a fore thought.
This is a parent problem, not an everyone problem.
I’m dismayed that there are so many posts about this. It’s like half the sub now
Three of my sisters became SAHM when they had babies and they were fortunate enough to have husbands that made enough to support them. None of their wages could cover childcare.
The other two with kids, divorced or broke, found cheap homes in Nowhere Texas and managed to cover childcare that way.
Two of the doctors I work with have nannies but are coy at what they pay. I know that they had to go up at least $5-10 an hour from what they were first offering and went with ppl with little to no experience, like 19 year olds, to find someone.
I've been childfree as long as I can remember so those posts just reinforce how happy I am not to have gone down that road. My oldest sister never ended up with kids but considering how type A, cheap and workaholic she is, she would have written the mother of all CB childcare posts. I almost wish I could have seen that.
I did the math before our son was born and I calculated that after taxes and childcare costs I’d be bringing home like $25k per year at best if I resumed my former salary level.
Yes. I wish all parents were allowed to have high standards for the people taking care of their children and be able to afford it. America is in a childcare crisis. Wanting someone experienced and educated to care for your kids so you can work to put food on the table isn’t quite the same as begging for a PlayStation, IMO.
Do you remember when Congress tried to include "human infrastructure" as part of the infrastructure bill? Of course, it was taken out because it was deemed to be too expensive, but it is desperately needed. It would have provided funding for child care and elder care, with rates for employees of $30/hr.
If we are serious about taking care of our kids and elderly, this type of bill needs to pass. Otherwise, there will always be a shortage of providers and only the rich will be able to afford quality care (like everything else).
As a former nanny, yes, they make me sad, but what are we as care providers to do? I can’t afford to give someone 40 hours a week of my time for what these people are asking. Private care is a luxury, there’s no way around that. If you can’t afford a nanny, you need to find a center, even an unlicensed home day care who can help you. They can charge less because they’re watching more than one family at a time. The cost of child care is high, but there are people on the other end of that who have to live, too.
Professional nanny here. The main problem is the entitlement. Yes childcare is expensive and I believe it should be accessible to everyone. That being said, I don’t think a private, personal, in-home childcare should be for everyone. Nannies will say it over and over: Nannies are a luxury. There are wayyyyy too many people out here thinking they should be able to pay less than daycare rates, or less than minimum wage for private, in home care. Most of us understand it’s hard out here for parents, but sooo many people value domestic labor so low, it’s gross.
yeah i had to help my sister with childcare for about 4 years, and always did it for free and helped her with money, because she was dealing with the children's father never being around and spending all his money on weed and gambling, so she was having to work and support herself and the kids alone, so she couldn't afford it without me helping with bills and childcare, it just wasn't financially possible where we lived because cost of living was way too high.
i think a lot about how there's so many single moms that don't have any family to help them, and it sucks that there's so little government assistance for them. especially with roe vs wade overturned, there are a lot of babies that weren't planned that people can't afford to have, and have no help from anyone at all, i can't really blame them for being desperate. i don't think it's a matter of greed or entitlement, i think it's pure desperation.
also i know people like my aunt who's retired would love to watch someone's kids for very very cheap, because she lost her only daughter and she doesn't have any grandkids, and lives far away from her grandnieces and nephews, so i know she'd love to help a struggling mom out with childcare to fill her free time being retired and to get the fulfillment you get from taking care of kids. so it's not impossible that some of those offers would be perfectly fine to the right person, and when they're completely desperate, it's worth a shot
Just because someone wants something they can't afford doesn't mean they should get it. I'd like a new Audi Q5 for $500, but I'm not going around posting ads asking for someone to sell me one for $500 (let alone a specific color and with specific features), and then whining when no one takes me up on it.
The issue is that nannies are not, and have never been, something the average parent can afford. They are a privilege that's really only afforded the wealthy, like many other things. These delusional people are wanting to employ someone full time and not pay them enough to survive themselves. Normal people don't get the luxury of individual childcare unless they have a family member, close friend, etc. that's willing to provide care for free or low cost.
People who aren't rich and don't have family locally that's willing to provide care get to choose from group daycare settings, or maybe a nanny share with multiple families, if they can't, or don't want to, stay home with their kid(s). And yes, daycare availability in many places is limited now, and that's difficult for many people. That still doesn't make a nanny a feasible solution to that problem, any more than a shortage of cheap used cars would mean someone should sell me a new Audi for $500. Childcare providers do not owe anyone childcare at a wage that doesn't allow them to reasonably pay their own living expenses.
I did childcare for a long time and I teach now and they do on one hand make me sad and annoyed that they are undervaluing care takers, but also so many people are struggling and can’t afford good care. The choosing Beggar ones are annoying but the ones that pop up that sound like people just desperate for care and looking for someone willing to work for what they can afford are sad to me.
it’s crazy to see families with kids, especially mothers, devalue childcare by trying to finesse and lowball childcare professionals. they can understand being undervalued stay at home moms but want offset and exploit someone else to do the same work for their own progeny for little to no pay. insanity.
So lately I’ve seen people posting here short simple requests for childcare that are unfortunately vastly under market rates. This posts seem mean spirited and make me sad. Recently there was one that said the person could bring her own children with her. So this might be a mutually agreeable arrangement.
However, the posts that are infuriating are the ones that are offering $5/hr with a ridiculous list of duties and are asking for unpaid trial hours and basically acting like they are offering some great gig.
If you have a situation where you can’t pay the market rate, you need to sweeten the deal, not make it worse.
I saw screenshot one last week on another sub where someone was asking for tips on working from home while taking care of a 3 year old. People in the comments kept suggesting they hire a sitter particularly a teenager to watch their kid. The OP said more than once they were unable to do that at the time. She didn’t say why but I was guessing financial reasons. She didn’t come across as a neglectful or entitled mom imo. Just wanted tips on how to multitask better.
If she had done what everyone was suggesting and tried to hire a sitter when she couldn’t really afford to. I guarantee she would be posted again for not paying enough. It’s obvious some people just want to shit on parents particularly moms for absolutely anything.
Don’t get me wrong there’s definitely a lot of CB’s posted on here. But sometimes it’s obvious someone is really desperate and out of options.
Yeah that’s what I mean. The entitled posts are shitty and I enjoy getting riled up by them, I must admit.
But sometimes people are in a bind and you can’t really blame them for shooting their shot. You never know, maybe there’s a way to make it work. I remember a few years ago I needed childcare for 45mins before school. I thought who the hell is going to want to come over to my house for just an hour’s wages, plus getting kids ready and out the door is the absolute worst.
But it turns out there were a few college students for whom this was a good gig. They only wanted to work a few hours a week and this was before class. So you never know. Can’t hurt to ask if you’re respectful. But I didn’t ask them to do “light” housekeeping and feed my horses and require 4hrs CPR certification haha
For sure. The ones with an entire list of demands and expectations yet trying to pay several dollars below minimum wage are entitled CB’s I agree.
Yeah I did that several times in my teens and 20’s, watched a kid for really cheap. It was always a family or mom who was struggling financially really bad. I’m glad I was able to help. They genuinely paid all they could. It was only a couple/few hours of my free time. And they didn’t really expect much, just keep the kids alive and/or give them some food they already cooked.
One was a mom whose husband dipped out of nowhere. Took all of their money from their savings and left with a girlfriend he had been cheating on the wife with. Totally blindsided her and she didn’t have any family who could help. She didn’t make nowhere close to what he made. So I helped her out for a few weeks for a low price until she figured something out.
That was nice of you! I wish our country had better solutions for working moms. If you’re earning minimum wage it’s impossible to even pay rent and food, yet alone childcare. I honestly don’t know how people survive.
Agreed. It’s an absolute shit show here. Abortion rights or lack of, shitty maternity leave, people are getting paid shit wages barely above minimum wage. Childcare is out the ass expensive. And sometimes shit happens! Sometimes people can afford a kid just fine and then their situation changes. Once again I am not talking about the people who are clearly without a doubt CB’s.
What’s insane is the same people who want to eliminate abortion and birth control are the same people who fight paid maternity leave and daycare subsidies. Make it make sense. Like I might actually have respect for someone who opposes abortion for religious reasons but wants to do everything possible to support young mothers and children. It’s the inconsistency that kills me. Like ok you want to force women to give birth but you don’t want any of their medical bills for, you don’t want free education, you don’t want maternity leave, you don’t want free school lunches or food stamps or welfare. You want moms to earn $7.50 an hour to take good care of her kids. Yeah ok
Oh yeah exactly. It’s very inconsistent and hypocritical. They think women and kids should be punished for whatever reason. Because “well they shouldn’t have opened up their legs if they didn’t want a kid!” Yet want to get rid of birth control.
There was one screenshot post earlier this week or last where a mom was asking for tips on how to work from home. People keep suggesting she get a sitter, particularly a teenager to watch her kid. She repeated herself more than once that they’re unable to do that.
She didn’t say why but I figured financial reasons. She didn’t seem like a shit mom who was purposefully trying to neglect her kid or anything. She was trying to do the best she could.
If she had done what everyone was suggesting and tried hiring a teenager to watch her kid she’d probably get posted yet again for not paying enough.
It really seems like this sub wants to shit on moms in general for anything and everything. Don’t get me wrong there’s definitely many CB’s posted on here including parents but sometimes they just don’t fit here. Yet people still gang up and shit on them.
They do bum me out because for some of them you can tell that’s literally all the person can afford to pay and they’re stretching to scrape together even that small amount. Other people are just assholes who think they’re doing you a favor by letting you watch their kid. It’s a mixed bag.
People are desperate. They need to work, can’t afford to work because they have kids then everyone laughs at them trying to afford childcare so they can work. Those posts bug me. I also get why someone wouldn’t take the job, but unless they’re of the ‘I have cameras all over the place, expect you to speak 3 languages and can’t eat while you’re here’ type, then I generally feel sorry for the person trying to survive because obviously they’re struggling without much help.
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1mo
As Chris Rock said ...."Put down the Dick!"
Thank you. Came here to post this exact sentiment--you get the entitled people who can afford to pay but don't want to and I understand those posts. But then there's poor families just desperate for child care to be able to work and i cringe and close those before I read the comments and it kills me a little
Yeah, I completely get people going all in on the completely ludicrous ones, but so many are just struggling families trying to feed their kids and it’s sad.
I get it--the pay offered is beyond ridiculous. On the other hand, some of them are working poor (not the nanny posts et cet) A few feel like punching down on someone poor doing their best.
Universal healthcare and childcare
I see a lot of people commenting about how these parents fail to plan ahead when "choosing" to have kids. I'm not defending the CB's entitlement, but it seems like folks don't understand (or don't want to understand) that birth control can fail. Condoms can break. Shma-shmortion is becoming increasingly inaccessible. Not to mention, ya know...reproductive coercion
Hi MadameTree, thank you for your submission to /r/ChoosingBeggars! Unfortunately it has been removed for the following reason(s):
Price negotiation and/or asking for donations is not enough to be a choosy beggar.
If you have any questions or concerns, please message the moderators of this subreddit.