So my ex owes about $6000 in child support. I’ve gotten checks on and off (mostly off) throughout the last few years. Sometimes I would receive whole checks and sometimes it would be a fraction of what is court ordered. He has no contact with our child and lives in a different state but the case is based in California. I called and talked to a social worker who said that there isn’t anything they can do about the money he owes because he either isn’t working or is working under the table. When I asked if they could revoke his license or put out a warrant, they told me no because he lives in a different state?? And that I just have to wait it out and hope he gets a job that they can garnish wages from?? This just doesn’t seem right to me. Has anyone had this experience?
My ex owes $6000 and my Case worker says there is nothing they can do about it.
CaliforniaI don’t even really want him to be arrested or anything. I just want him to follow the law and help out his daughter. Life/finances have not been easy lately
You need to stop being nice that' is what got you in this situation
I’m not really sure how “being nice” got me here. I was in a relationship with someone who fully committed to being a father and then decided after about a year that it was too hard for him and moved away. I filed for child support immediately after he jumped ship 🤷♀️ I’m not a police officer and I have no way to contact him directly. I cannot make him follow the law no matter how nice or mean I am
Your not bein nice. Ignore them. Hey... I would call the Child support enforcement agency every freaking week... Simple call every Monday for an "UPDATE ON THE ENFORCEMENT OF MY CHILD SUPPORT CASE".
Eventually after it got to $10k in arrears it got to the CNR Criminal non support department. They would do what they call PURGES. They would arrest my ex and keep him in jail until he came up with child support.
I have a friend who had to come up with $5k before they released him. It went to his baby mommas. The purge money will be collected. They will call anyone and everyone and eventually it gets paid.
Eventually they end up on probation. My ex has to check in with a probation officer every month.... Until it's all paid off. It's faaaaarrrr more than 10k now...
They will get girlfriends... Friends... Family... Whoever to pay it to get them out.
Here are the rules... He must obtain and MAINTAIN employment... He cannot quit!!! He must pay his monthly obligation however it's ultimately a must every three months for he will be picked up and jailed again...
They charged my ex with one count per child for criminal non support of children and one count per child for abandonment of minor child/family.
They will pay... They have to pay. Ask to speak to the Criminal non support sector of your local CSEA where the order was made....
I have NEVER had to EVER even step foot in a court room. My CSEA and cost free attorney has done well for us.
What state?
Wild... In Hawaii they send you letter after letter if you're behind a few weeks stating they will be garnishing your taxes.. even when you're not behind and they are just poorly at applying payments.
My son’s father owes me over $12,000. He’s never paid a dime. He only owes $50 a week. In New Jersey they no longer suspend their licenses. Once every couple years they’ll arrest him for non payment but won’t hold them longer than 3 days for child support which is nothing to him. I don’t even fight it bc honestly it’s not worth the 50 bucks.
3 days!? Do they force a purge payment of $500 or something at least?
My ex is in NJ and owes 11k. Their payment is $110/month and there is a hearing coming up. They were a no show last year. Im going to ask for the maximum sentence.
Also I was told by a probation officer they can not hold them longer than 3 days on child support because they can’t afford to. The odd thing is I don’t press child support at all I never call or check up. Once every 2-3 years THEY contact me to tell me they want to do something about this. I get a letter telling me he has a warrant for his arrest for non payment and he will NOT be released until he pays the FULL arrears which again is over $12,000 and then they release him in three days without paying a dime. Which whatever you can’t hold them you need the space for violent crimes ok but then WHY SEND THE LETTER. Why lie to me in a court written letter saying he will not be released without paying the full arrears when we both know this is a lie? It’s all a joke
Would you get your money back once he applies for social security?
Yes. If the father lives that long.
hahaha
Go file a showcause yourself. That's what I had to do. Luckily I found a lawyer that would take payments also. I dropped the child support agency, advice from my lawyer bc he said they weren't doing anything for me. We are now straight through the courts. Out next hearing is next month an my lawyer is requesting him to pay all my legal fees etc. It's a process but it's been over a year in the courts but the upside, hes actually making effort to pay. Any questions you may have, feel free to message me. I'm in Virginia so I know laws are not the same.
The problem even if you win is you can’t force money from someone that is either hiding it or not making it on purpose. He’ll have a judgement against him but that doesn’t mean you’ll get money
I guess he will have to learn the hard way and have the judge set a purge bond. 🤷♀️ but you're right, I can't force him, no one can really but doesn't mean I won't stop trying.
My ex’s tab is over $150k I haven’t stopped trying either… we tried contempt, he claimed poverty. And then case got turned over to state since my legal bills are crazy high and we have been fighting for 6 years. It’s tough… state is saying they are doing stuff but they aren’t… it’s very frustrating. Mine figured out a way to even travel internationally… he got citizenship in another country and uses that passport. So he runs around the globe too.
Oh my goodness. Sounds like you're running through hoops. Never stop, regardless. Easier said then done, try to remain positive. Mine is a easy target and is local. If you are ever in need of a friend, I am always a ear even tho it may not help your situation but it'll help get some stress out. 😊
So glad it seems to finally be working out for you. I have considered getting a lawyer but I feel like I’d end up paying more in legal fees than what he owes and I don’t have the money to risk fighting it.
Well you can still go file a showcause and the child support agency will be subpoena also.
Requesting him to pay does not guarantee that court may award it. If arrears are much higher than legal fees then probably it's worth it.
You're right but it's worth a shot. The only reason I had to get a lawyer was bc he/his lawyer kept getting it continued. So by doing my research, it's in my favor that the judge will grant the request, but we will see.
Has California sent your case to his state for registration and enforcement of your order?
They said they did about a year ago. However I asked for updates on that and was told that they can’t tell me anything and that there’s no number I can call to get in contact with someone in his state’s office.
Even if you did find the number, that caseworker wouldn’t talk to you and would refer you to your caseworker. Federal law UIFSA procedures are prickly about that
I'm in Ohio where case was filed and ordered (he was missing for the 1st 4 years) then popped up in New York where they filed an interstate case. They moved it to NY when she was 12 and it went to being an arrears case, not current like until she was 18. So he was responsible for support for 8 years, almost 14k in arrears. New York won't talk and Ohio won't move. Interstate cases fall through the cracks, especially if you're not in public assistance to where they're trying to recoup money. My daughter is now 25, almost 26 and NY has a 21 year arrears statute where they'll write it off. They know exactly where he is "playing poor farmer" running businesses and hiding assets under his fiancee of 17 years. The states do nothing, they hide assets and shitty women protect them. Sorry you're dealing with that but best chance you have at seeing a penny is moving to the other state. When I called my state courts to file a contempt they wouldn't even let me because "csea" had the case. It sick.
My ex owes 76k, when I stopped counting. I thought that they would make him pay it someday… he is going to have to stop running. Well, he stopped running after the last one turned 18yo and the state of Ohio forgave him. So, good luck!
But… ban and criminalize abortions! While not enforcing the father (or mother in some cases) to be a parent. How does this make since?
Unless he is a parsley farmer they'll never be able to garnish his wages.
Same boat. Except my ex owes right at 50k. He lives in CA and the case is based in CA, the kids and I live in another state and he has zero contact with them (his choice). My worker told me I shouldn't be counting on that money anyway 🙄. He is working for Uber as a 1099 driver..which I guess they cant garnish. They did finally revoke his license but he is still driving for them on a suspend license
Yep, I’m in CA too… the tab is up over $150k no consequences. They did take DL away and his professional license but he works under table and I guess hopes he doesn’t get pulled over. Nothing to be done. Sorry.
My friend was the child in her case, and the minute she turned 18, she sued her father in civil court for back child support. This was in TX, and she won, and she was able to force him to cough up the money in payments he couldn't get out of as easily as child support.
That’s odd. The parent does not owe anything to the actual children, so for the court to give her that money is beyond… weird! If they awarded that to the daughter, he will still owe the full amount to the other parent. The other parent is the one who had to step up and cover down to be BOTH parents. The other parent is the one who was taken advantage of and unable to save up the way they should so that they have the right to retire, be hospitalized, or even die.
I did say it was in Texas. 🤣😅🤣 It was also several years ago, but I haven't heard any changes that would effect this. And I'm pretty sure they shared it, made the whole family's life better, but yeah, the daughter is the one that took it to court.
I experience this once and I found out about child abandonment warrant from a friend who was going through the same thing(court order but no support). If the NCP male/female has not provided food, clothing, shelter for the minor child in the last 30 days... Pls read as much as you can about child abandonment in the state that you live in and go file. I did and he nerve missed another payment again he always sent something.
It's a tough situation. Consulting with a lawyer can help hut typically there is a specific amount he has to owe for any legal persuits.
My ex owes 103,946 I will never see that money California child support system is a joke. Move to a different state then have them go after him. I learned that too late in life
Have you contacted the state he resides in CSE?
Or maybe try to petition to your county’s court for long arm jurisdiction to the state the ncp lives in
I believe it. Were in Texas and one time my daughters dad left her, at 2 years old, alone for several hours overnight in the golden nugget casino hotel in Louisiana and she escaped the room and a couple found her and turned her in and police hunted him down by reviewing security footage. Texas did NOTHING. Because out of state = out of jurisdiction. Because I hired a lawyer, he got supervised visitation by HIS family. It was a joke. Could have been kidnapped.
Yep nothing they can do just keep running all his info to see if he works etc.
What is crazy is how they pick and choose. My ex husband is so far behind it is ridiculous. I would not want his license suspended or him arrested bc it would not help anything. It would prevent the little bit I do get. I do not judge other’s frustration. It is a what is best for your situation and they should do what the law says. Then there is my fiancé who has been involved, has his children whenever, goes above and beyond. If they need something he just takes care of it bc it is not worth fighting with his ex wife. He is ordered to pay more than anyone I have ever heard of, to the point it is unfair. He was paying $1000 a month for one kid after his oldest was an adult and living independently. His ex wife files at will, despite him always being on income assignment. Somehow after both kids were adults and child support ended she got some judgement for arrears that we did not even know existed, until full blown swat broke down our door and arrested him. It was insane. I definitely see both sides of this and the court is always the party in the wrong! They do it on purpose.
My brother pays 1400$ for one kid.
You can take it back to court and file for a violation
My kids mom owes me 60k+. She's waiting it out after my youngest turns 21 she's free and clear. After that, it's a civil case. The prosecutors dgaf
If she still owes you $ after child support is terminated, she would be still be responsible for payout arrears off, no?
Yeah it doesn't go away, but the gov won't enforce It's on you at that point. It's fucking laughable
If, like me, you can't find them and serve them, the court doesn't give a fuck about you.
If the person ever gets an inheritance you can collect it first by filing a lien against the estate. We did that for child support for our niece and got 14K
My stepson’s mother has been collecting my husband’s child support for over a year that their son has been living with me and my husband. She won’t agree to turn the child support off until we agree that she isn’t responsible for contributing child support for their child. If we try to pursue the route of her paying child support, she’s threatening to keep the money that she’s collected over the last 14 months. Money that is not hers! The total lack of accountability of these types of people is unreal. Disgusting to not want to provide for your child.
I’ve had a case since 2018 with my kids mom. She’s in Missouri still nothing.
I'm in missouri and behind in support cause im out of work taking care of my baby. But you bet your ass I have to go to court every month to explain my situation. I'm trying to get a modification until I can return to work. I'm surprised she isn't having to go to court.
They have to serve her. Problem is they can’t find her and blame difficulty due to it being an interstate case.
Sounds exactly like my situation…arrears $53k and nothing can be done bc he lives out of state and no job on paper for 12yrs
California wouldn't be able to suspend the license from another state, and a capius is only good within the state of California.
If he is in another state and you know what state he is in, you can request California request that state to confirm his location, and if he's there, to assist in the case. That case will register the order so they can use enforcements to assist in collections.
The other state would have to enforce the order. You can contact them and see if there’s anything they are doing to enforce or locate any earnings. It does sound like there may be an interstate case open. Definitely call and see what is going on with their side. Call early in the morning their time. Otherwise, you may have a hard time getting someone on the line. Best of luck
No, OP cannot call the other state’s caseworker. She can only communicate with her caseworker in her state. Her caseworker communicates with the other state
I was told that I cannot call the other state by my current case worker
You have to get your own attorney in some cases. I never had to .. I simply requested to speak to the Criminal non support department and they put my ex on pound him him the ass probation.
What state are you in? And how does this work? I’ve never heard of this before.
In OH
Doesn't appear they can enforce that. The prisons and jails are overcrowded as it is
Seems fair if he isn't involved in the child's life, personally I believe the burden is on your shoulders. It's a 2 way street why should someone pay for your child you birthed? If you were sharing the child and he had an equal input but otherwise he is paying you for an experience he won't get to also enjoy. For financial support I truly believe you both need to be in the picture. It's a sad story but I don't believe child support is in any way beneficial for the child because mothers are motivated to go to the government and court and involve a relationship that is none of the government business. If it didn't exist you would be forced to think of other ways to remain in contact with the father for support sadly you think and many do that it's easy to cut ties and play the government as if they are supposed to be involved nor should a child have to be exposed to that sort of experience. It's selfish and it's wrong by many mothers of failed relationships.
I’m so confused bro. Can you explain to me how it’s a two way street AND the burden falls on my shoulders? This is a man who fully committed to raising a child together and then moved half way across the country when our daughter was one and he realized that raising a child, especially a disabled child, was harder than he thought it was. For a year straight I reached out every week asking him if he wanted to call her or come back to our state to visit. After a 6 months of being complexity ignored, I stopped. I really don’t understand how I should have to do everything alone in that situation or how it’s selfish for me to expect him to help. Im sorry but this comment is so out of touch with the reality of how some people look at parenting. I’m not saying that all fathers who pay child support “should” be paying but every situation is different and when a father chooses to abandon a child that they chose to create, they should help take care of it.
I believe that all should be taken into context when you are sleeping with a man. Nobody should even be having kids without being married. That is the biggest problem people get in relationships and think sex solves everything until someone gets pregnant and wants to reach gods calling in life the ultimate goal of motherhood. Someone mostly all of the women who are on child support were never married in the beginning it's a biblical mess
Dude a biblical mess? Lol you’re up in here commenting in the cameltoe and booty queens subreddits 😂
I only follow the best information
You do realize that if you put a “ warrant “ out for him that he’s not gonna be able to pay while incarcerated? So take it for what it is. Y’all broads be so heavy to revoke something but complain about money. “ revoke his license “ yeah so he can’t get to and from work … “ put a warrant out for his arrest “ yeah so you really don’t get paid cuz he can’t work a job … why don’t you just take care of your kid(s) and find a better income ? You chose to lay down with these men and get mad when they don’t provide but he wasn’t a provider when yall were together. Get tf over it.
Arrest is temporary and the point is that maybe they learn a lesson and stop evading. No license? You can still work. My ex went for some teen ditz and decided to play family there and I think waiting a few months during incarceration is better than a lifetime of nothing. The mind set that men have to excuse being a POS dead beat goes to show how much more fucked some men are but you blame women for trusting them? You can not compare trusting a man to do right to a man choosing to do wrong. Obviously women in these situations are taking the brunt, working extra jobs and doing all the parenting solo. Just because we can doesn't mean we should have to and men that think like you should be castrated.
Facts
You are so correct. Not sure why you’re being downvoted. When my ex and I divorced, she was vindictive and went to my job and got me fired then tried to put me on child support. Turns out that because I had less income when she filed she would have received more. I’m like……
Only reason I’m being down voted is by all the bitter baby mommas on this post who want money more than being the bigger person and doing for their kids. All that shit to go to court just to get 100 bucks a months lol.
Majority of women that have children with men that are court ordered to pay c.s use them funds for other needs for themselves looking at men as $$$ income for you.getting all kinds of free assistance but a man fails to obligate to paying he get the book thrown at him.sysyem is designed for men to fail...
All kinds of free assistance? 😂 He’s ordered to pay 300 a month and I have been working to pay off 20k in medical debt for the birth defect she was treated for. Every last Penny of child support would be going straight towards that debt 🤦♀️
He's got it easy I pay off the rip 287 a week for 1.did me dirty
Suck it up and be a parent and take of your kid By your self damn. You holding onto that grudge when the money means nothing you have your kid.
Mine owes $36k and my state does not enforce the order. There are no consequences. I feel your pain!