When I was a kid it used to be, for some odd reason, "third the golden eagle". Never actually found out what that was supposed to mean.
According to my kids, it's now "third the dirty donkey". Wtf has happened there??
How did you finish this sentence as a kid: "First the worst, second the best, third the..."?
And then fourth the golden eagle (zero was the hero)
Golden gun for me and my siblings.
Or was that fifth? When did I forget this. Felt like something I'd just always remember lol
Fifth the king, sixth the queen, seventh the one with the washing machine.
Above two comments are perfect, anything after that did not apply. Although in my area people made up "fifth the one eating chips halfway down the football pitch". Dunno about that.
That has opened up some random memory of shouting that at a mate as he was playing at lunch, our other mate then full on vollied the ball in his face because we put him off
when i was little people used to say fourth the one in a wedding dress! no idea why
…with the dirty donkey. According to my Blackpool childhood
Fifth the Golden Egg
Fourth the ghost eating toast halfway up a lamppost
I don't want to see a ghost - it's a sight that I fear most. I'd rather have a piece of toast and watch the evening news.
Fourth the king, fifth the queen, sixth the one in the washing machine. (Early Gen Z, grew up in Yorkshire)
Been using this with my kids recently. I love how things like this pass from one generation to the next. It's culture.
This is the right and only answer
This and there was never anything for 4th or more
I remember 5th was the one with the golden gun. I can’t remember 4th
Ooh, close. Third the hairy princess.
Fourth the king, fifth the queen, sixth the golden washing machine.
This was the way
With the dirty vest in my day!
Third the one with the hairy chest, fourth the one with the golden gun and 5th the one with the hairy bum. Lots of hairy body parts, now I think of it...
This is my version as well! Did you grow up in the West Country per chance?
I did!
I grew up in roughly the same area (Wiltshire) and ours was almost exactly the same, except we subbed in “Golden DS” for “golden gun”.
Went country had the golden gun cause everyone and their mums is packing round here
London lad here, we did the same aha
This was the same in the south east too!
This is my version and I grew up in Hertfordshire
Ours was this but ended with "big fat bum"
Same for me! But I grew up in SE London, wonder how it got there? 🤔
Another SE Londoner here and can confirm that Golden Guns and Hairy Bums were a thing all the way back in the 80s.
This but fifth the one with the big fat bum
Hairy princess.
Was starting to think I'd imagined this version!
It was 'Ugly princess' when I was growing up.
The one with hairy chest.
Golden eagle was 4th, never heard it as the third
Where does the golden eagle come from? Why fourth, it doesn’t rhyme
Third the one with the hairy chest Fourth’s the golden eagle
Third the royal princess.
Same and then 4th the Ghost eating toast half way up the lamp post. 5th the Witch eating chips half way down the football pitch
Interesting, because I knew the ghost line but not here, but from the rhyme “Mr White, had a fright, in the middle of the night, saw a ghost, eating toast, halfway up a lamp post” so they must have joined up at some point
I always knew it as Mrs White
That all sounds like my childhood right there!
This is the only way I've heard it
This one is my childhood
It was "ugly princess" round my end
Same here.
This is the way
yup! this is the one.
Yep, 80's in the North East. This is what we said.
... the dirty rascal!
Yes! That was it. I knew donkey wasn't quite right
Third the one with a hairy chest, or third the one in a princess dress.
I always heard third the hairy princess
Adding:
Treasure chest
Had to scroll way too far to see mine. Treasure chest gang, reporting in.
👍
Treasure Chest ambassador too 🖐️
third the hairy princess, then the golden eagle, then the dirty donkey
Edit: Zero the hero before all of them too, for occasions when you really want to put the cat among the pigeons
I'm shaken to my core that not only are there different versions of this than what I know, but especially that the other versions don't even rhyme all the way through! What's a golden eagle anyway?
Was always fourth the dwarf for us
Third the ugly princess
I was reading the list and no one else was saying this. I was starting to get concerned that me and my sister got it wrong.
I've never heard anything like this in my life. In what situation would this rhyme be used?
A year 5 ish is upset that someone beat them.
They say "first the worst, second the best!"
At which point some smartarse kid chimes in "third the one with (whatever it was for you)
And then it spirals from there
I’m the same. I’ve never ever heard this rhyme. I feel like I’ve slipped into an alternative dimension because everybody else seems to know exactly what this is.
When trying to justify one’s superiority over others despite coming 2nd in the race/task/test
Golden eagle here also.
Wife has a variant of ‘third the one with the hairy chest’
Hairy chest here too - but fourth was the golden eagle
this was mine too. Then we had... zero hero? and fifth I think was a leopard or something ridiculous
Fifth the Jeremy Beadle for my playground (along with accompanying knarled hand mime). Kids are weird.
Fourth the one with the ballerina dress
The hairy chest was the one I knew
You mancs ain't right
I was a kid in Manchester in the 90s. We had:
First the worst.
Second the best.
Third the one with a hairy chest.
Fourth the golden eagle.
Fifth the witch, stuck in a ditch, halfway up the football pitch.
And then there was zero the hero, which was only used if someone wanted to change their title retrospectively.
Dirty donkey
Dirty donkey here too
Same here. What the hell is all this talk of hairy chests? I had no idea there were variations
This.
4th the golden Eagle 5th the cheeky monkey was the version I knew
Third the dirty rascal
Scrolled too far for this
Same here.
Surely not..? The dirty rascal only gets involved when his opposite number is The King of The Castle?
First the worst
Second the best
Third the hairy princess
Fourth the ghost eating toast halfway up the lamp post.
Fifth the witch eating chips halfway up the football pitch
Perfect! Is this the North East variant?
Aye I’m wondering too!
My other half is from the uncivilised lands, and she swears thats what it was too, so I'm inclined to think so
3rd the one with the hairy chest.
4th the golden eagle, or sometimes 4th the Dwarf.
Fairy princess / hairy princess
I'm glad someone else remembers it as fairy princess and not hairy. Thought I was going senile for a moment
I'm a little bit annoyed with myself for the "/" now, I was also questioning my sanity at the time. Thanks for validating me!
3rd the dirty donkey, 4th the golden Eagle, but it varied depending on where whoever said it came in the sequence.
Third the one with the hairy chest, fourth the golden eagle. Five alive, six dead
Third the nerd
For me it was "Minus the highness, zero the hero, first the worst, second the best, third the one with the hairy chest, fourth the one with the golden gun"
It was dirty donkey when I was a kid, 1970s/80s, midlands
3rd the one with the hairy chest
4th the one who picks its bum
and 5th the one who eats it!!!!!
Third the hairy princess
Fourth the king, fifth the queen, sixth the hairy washing machine.
Dirty donkey
Dirty donkey
First the worst, Second the best, Third the hairy princess, Fourth the King, Fifth the Queen, Sixth the hairy washing machine
So close to my NW version - third the one with the hairy chest / and our washing machine was golden.
First the worst Second the best Third the golden princess Fourth the ghost eating toast halfway up the lamppost.
Third the hairy princess.
Third the one with a hairy chest. Unless there was some random playground argument where one kid (usually a girl) was like ‘no NO it’s golden dress I don’t have a hairy chest!’
It was third the dirty donkey when I was at school a long, long time ago.
Fourth the Royal Navy.
Fifth the Golden Eagle.
Third the one with the dirty vest
My mind is blown that at 35 I never knew there were different versions 😂
The one I learnt
Zero the hero First the worst Second the best Third the one with the hairy chest Fourth the golden eagle Fifth the one who picks his nose Sixth the one who eats it
Third the one with the hairy chest, fourth the ghost eating toast halfway up the lamp post
Third the squashed tomato
Dirty rascal
I remember it as “Third, the Dirty Donkey, Forth the Golden Eagle, I forget the rest.
Sorry!
Another one for Dirty Donkey here
yes dirty donkeys represent NW UK
We only ever went up to 4.
0 hero 1st worst 2nd best 3rd the one with the hairy chest 4th the golden eagle.
Turd
Third the golden eagle. Fourth the hairy chest.
Third’s the one with the hair chest. Fourth’s a golden ballerina.
One with the hairy chest
Hairy chest, 4 was golden eagle for me
First the worst Second the best Third the one with the hairy chest Fourth the golden eagle Fifth the fairy princess
3rd the golden eagle 4th the dwarf
First the best,
Second the same,
All the rest are down the drain
Golden word. Not sure how that makes any sense but it's what came to mind first
I’m a year 1 teacher in eats anglia - hear this at the end of every lunchtime. In our part of the world zero the hero, first the worst, second the best, third the one with the hairy chest. I shall be introducing fourth the one with good gun and fifth the one with the hairy bum tomorrow!
im from east anglia too (peterborough) i always heard it as zero the hero, 1st the worst, 2nd the best, 3rd the one w the hair chest, 4th the one w the golden hair, 5th is the one who doesnt care
We had a few;
Third the one who gets undressed.
Third the hairy princess.
Third the dirty donkey.
Third the dirty donkey
Fourth the one with nothing on,
Fifth the Golden Eagle!
Zero the hero
First the worst
Second the best
Third the one with the hairy chest
Fourth thread the needle
Fifth the golden eagle
3rd the Dirty donkey, 4th the golden Eagle!
Third the dirty donkey. Merseyside, child of 90’s.
Third the hairy princess!
80s 90s east mids - 1st the worst, 2nd the best, 3rd the dirty dog mess.
Royal Princess. And fourth the ghost eating toast halfway up a lamppost.
Third the page you can see breasts
pretty sure it was dirty princess.
Third the dirty donkey. I'm a geriatric millennial from the midlands
South east childhood, I always learned 3rd the Golden Eagle, 4th the one with a hairy chest. Never had any idea about the test of the rhyme!
…third the one with the hornet’s nest.
Hairy princess
Golden Eagle is correct. For me.
3rd the best of all the rest
Girl who shat on my chest
These are all nuts. Ours was, first the worst, second the best, third the one with the hairy chest, fourth the one with the golden vest, fifth the one that’s better than the rest.
Dirty donkey innit
Zero the hero, 1st the worst, 2nd the best, 3rd the one with the hairy chest, 4th the one with the golden gun, 5th's the one who is the best, can't really remember what what we said for 6 onwards
I think we said 'hairy princess.'?!
Depends... fairy or hairy princess ...from back in the 70s
one with the hairy chest
Third is the one with the hairiest chest.
Hairy princess
Third the hairy princess.
It was both golden eagle and dirty donkey when I was a kid (90s).
3rd the hairy princess
Hairy chest. Fourth the golden eagle. Fifth the ugly princess.
Don't remember if there was a sixth...
Zero the hero. 1st the worst. 2nd the best. 3rd the princess with the hairy chest. 4th the golden eagle. 5th the man in the golden chains. 6th the dirty donkey. 7th the cheeky chicken. 8th the squashed tomato.
We also used to say first the best, second the pest, third the one with the hairy chest
3rd the dirty donkey
3rd the royal princess
Polka dot dress!
It was third the dirty donkey in my part of Lincolnshire in the 1970s. 👨🦳
Third, the one with a hairy chest. Fourth, the one who sits and cries, five the one who tells the lies
Third the one with a hairy chest, 4th one the one with the golden eagle, 5th the one covered in treacle
First the worst Second the best Third the hairy princess Fourth the Golden Eagle
It was either "third the one with the golden chest" or "third the one with the ballet dress" (and golden chest here was a bad thing; we all understood that if you had the golden chest you were dead, because if your chest was golden there was nowhere for the heart to go)
You guys are weird
Third the turd.
The one with the hairy chest. Fourth the golden Eagle. Fifth the ghost, eating toast, halfway up a lamp post. (Don't ask me what that's supposed to mean; I have no idea.)
We didn’t count higher than 3, third the royal princess and never had a fourth onwards.
First is the worst, second is the best, third is the one with the golden dress.
Third the Roy-al prin-cess Fourth the ghost eating toast halfway up the lampost. Can't remember the rest
I haven't heard that for so long! In my primary it was: Zero the hero First the worst Second the best Third the one with the hair chest Fourth the one with the pirates chest (repetitive I know) Fifth the one with a big fat leg Sixth the one with the goblins head
It actually went on for a while but I can't remember past that 😅
Either "golden eagle" or "hairy princess" depending on whether you wanted to offer praise or deliver a severe blow to their psyche.
I have never seen or heard a sentence anything like this.
First the worst, second the best, third the dirty donkey. Fourth the ghost, eating toast, half way up a lamp post. I'm 47 now and grew up in Yorkshire.
If you were third, you'd be like "um thirds the one with the GOLDEN DRESS" but even you knew you were full of shit and had a hairy chest.
Third the cowboy in the west.
Really surprised I’ve not seen that represented here at all!
YES ok so I'm not the only person in the world that remembers that. For me it's "First the worst, second the best, third the cowboy in the west, fourth the hairy princess". Makes me wonder how local that was!
Zero the hero First the worst Second the best Third the one with the hairy chest. Fourth the golden eagle Fifth the ballerina Sixth the ghost picking his nose, sitting alone and eating toast
This turns out to be a really good question, OP! I’m astounded at the variety here in the replies. I thought that everybody knows third’s the one with the hairy chest, fourth the golden eagle.
So, whilst we’re here: everyone knows what a croggy is, right?
Zero the hero [...] third the one with the hairy chest, four the bore, five the (???) six sucks dicks, seven's in heaven... (and I can't remember anything after that, pretty sure we got it up to ten tho, mostly from year 6's trying to be a bad influence)
Third the royal princess
First is the worst
Second is the best
Third is the big fat turd
Zero the hero, first the worst, second the best, third the golden princesses.
Third the hairy princess,fourth the dwarf eating toast half way up a lamppost 😆
We definitely said "third the one with the hairy legs".
I have no recollection of it going higher than that and none of the suggestions on here (including alternatives for third) sound even remotely familiar!
Third the ballerina Fourth the window cleaner Fifth the dirty donkey
For us in the early 90s it was
First the worst, second the best, third the one with the hairy chest, fourth the dirty donkey, fifth the golden eagle.
Third the one with the hairy chest, fourth the one with the golden dress, fifth the one who tried it on.
First the worst seconds the best third the one with hairy chest
Third the hairy princess!
The one with the hairy chest
3rd the one with the hairy chest 4th the squashed tomato.
Third the one with the hairy chest
Hairy chest
one with the hairy chest
Third the one with the hairy chest.