I have a friend who has C-PTSD but - for various reasons - is avoiding therapy right now. She recently had a truly shitty thing happen to her that has really intensified her triggers. I think - here of all places - everyone can be very sympathetic to that experience!

Unfortunately, she is no where near being at a place where she can identify this at a meta level and so is just really chaotic right now and externalising everything. I've recently come under fire for not being supportive enough. For example, she snapped at a person who just happened to be behind her on the street and yelled at him. Then she was mad at me because I didn't validate that this person was "obviously a predator." He really wasn't (in that moment, anyway) - he was just walking behind us. So while I'm super understanding and sympathetic to why she snapped and to how truly painful that nervous system overload is, I genuinely don't know what to do with being called out for not validating her (warped by trauma) reality.

I lost this friendship once before maybe 10 years ago over a similar thing - she sort of turns me into her therapist / boyfriend when she's in one of these periods, and then gets mad when I don't live up to that (sort of intentionally on my part, since I don't want to be either of those roles).

My question is: is there a way to support this person that isn't just giving into the role I'm being given, sort of grovelling for forgiveness for perceived slights and just agreeing with/validating every trigger experience she sees around her? Is there any value in a friend being a (gentle) voice of perspective in this situation? How do I help this person without adding fuel to the fire or losing my self-respect in the process?