Would it be dumb to change from a therapist who I feel very safe and connected to because I feel stuck?

Question

I have been in therapy since 2019. I met my current therapist when I was at my lowest and thankfully I instantly clicked with her. She immediately provided me with support and help, without which I would not be here today. Under her guidance I was able to progress in my life academically, as I had just gotten into college and achieve many things like entering my first ever relationship, something which I even told my therapist that without her help I would not have been able to do it.

My therapist specializes in Cognitive Analytic Therapy, a type of talk therapy which is dependent on the relationship between the therapist and the patient. Our main goal during these years was to slowly dive into my past childhood memories (something which took years to achieve because when I first met her I was doing so bad I could barely function), and get a better understanding of my issues. My a-ha moment was last summer when after analyzing my childhood she informed me that I was severely emotionally neglected and abused ( something I had no idea about) which was the turning point for me. Since then she has helped me to adopt a much healthier view of myself, and create a much more loving and compassionate relationship with myself too. In a matter of a few months I went from hating myself and my being, to loving me and being my own best friend.

My next step in therapy, and what we agree is the most important and the "last" part of my healing journey, is to change my subconscious beliefs and behaviors that are deeply ingrained in me and are holding me back. That means fighting the inner critic and establishing healthier thinking patters and overall changing my inner narrative that I had to adopt in order to survive an abusive home. This is when my problem lies.

You see talk therapy is, as I said, mostly focused on analyzing the past and creating the connections between the past and present. This process is definitely crucial in order to get a better understanding of one's issues and comprehending why one functions the way they do, thus prompting them to change. What I feel it is lacking however is the means of tackling these maladaptive habits and changing those subconscious processes that are so hard to overturn. The methods I've been using since then (like stopping the critic in its tracks, thought correction processes and so on) are mostly stuff I've figured out myself through my own work like reading books. My therapist cannot really provide concrete means of changing those inner processes because they are specialized in a therapy type that does not have them.

I've been reading about EMDR or Somatic Therapy and how they can be provide great help with my current issues, and I am wondering if it is something I should try. At the same time I feel really conflicted as I do not want to stop seeing my current therapist because I feel very safe and secure under their guidance. I feel very comfortable talking to them about my issues and always feel better after my sessions. Also I have learned about some ways of battling those inner thoughts processes that I mentioned so I have something to work with, and maybe that's enough. What should I do?

in CPTSDby Exotic_Spare_971

100%

16d

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Budget_Somewhere5542

16d

Ok. I had a therapist for about 6 months who specialized in CBT and I never really had a moment where I felt like I was starting to get better. I felt like I just barely got through the letting it all out sessions before she had to take maternity leave for a few weeks, then my insurance changed during that time so I just stopped going. Anyhow, since she specialized in CBT she often focused on trying to get my "inner critic" to quiet down, stop etc. It never really seemed to help. My inner critic would say something negative, I would tell it to be quiet, and I felt like it just kept getting more and more aggressive from there.

The reason I bring this up is because I am wondering if you have heard of IFS therapy, as I have been doing it for a little over a year now and have noticed a MASSIVE change in how I treat these thoughts and subsequently myself. If you're unfamiliar it's basically the opposite of trying to redirect or battle thoughts, instead be curious about your "parts" (like your inner critic) and dissect those thoughts and where they are coming from. Visiting and healing the source of the thoughts instead, as trying to get them to just go away (for me) did not work at all.

Not sure if this would work at all for you but if you're looking into other therapists/therapy styles, I would definitely recommend giving it a search.

Cass_78

15d

I second IFS as powerful tool for this. Here is a book called Self Therapy by Jay Earley. Its a step by step guide to creating wholeness and healing the inner child using IFS.

OP, you could even do this while staying with your current therapist. Maybe get an IFS therapist later when you need assistance with especially challenging parts.