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To quote Lindsay C. Gibson in "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents", our 'relationship' with our parents will continue to be one of the most if not the most disappointing relationship we can have.
So I understand why you feel the pull to "go back to them". I see this scenario played a million times before, both on myself and others.
The only way forward is deprogramming and keep putting in the work so we don't scamper to their ways again.
I know it's challenging, but these people are NOT healthy for us.
Thank you for your words. I guess deep down I feel what would be best for me. But it’s hard.
I actually have this book sitting on my shelf so I should definitely start reading it.
I suppose one can think of our biological instinct to have a relationship with our parents as some sort of addiction; it is NOT healthy yet we're addicted to it.
We're addicted to think that if only they finally see, love, and know us, then life would be well.
Such is not - usually isn't - the case.