I commented this on another post, Im putting it here to help ppl who might need it
I had to learn how to lie really well at a really young age due to trauma shitty parents ect. The trick to any lie is believing it yourself. People belived me when I belived the lie. I wholeheartedly accepted it into my body, completely giving myself up to the feeling. Abusers gain power by throwing you off your beliefs. Your body language subtly changes based on what you belive and the human mind subconsciously registers this, and uses it to make assumptions about you. It’s ever so slight but you can just tell. It’s how people give a certain “vibe” or “aura” to them. Same works for believing you deserve to be respected. Treat it like any other belief and accept it into yourself. People who really are strong and have respect never shy away from this feeling. It’s your only way to healing and a better life. Your body language will emit that of respect and confidence instead of timmidness.True confidence isn’t “I’ll never be treated shitty again” it’s “if I’m treated shitty I know my worth, I will be fine because I won’t lose myself”.
The reason why so many of us were shut down when we did believe in ourselves was because we belived “The world will never treat me bad” instead of “if I’m treated badly I will be ok because I know it’s not true because I am a valid human being.”
Little kids who were shut down believed “I will always be treated good” before they were shut down, because they were literal CHILDREN, some as young as 3-4 years old. They don’t have experience and try to go in with hopes high. And for those that come from toxic families. They teach us to believe we are only valid with other people, most likely being the abuser themselves. We believe this and so we have trouble feeling valid and making it in this world ourselves.