any religious people here?

if yes what kept you to believe in your faith? If no (or no longer believe) why?

I’m Christian but I haven’t been to church properly for the last 3 years. I still believe in God and pray but I can’t help thinking I’m a bad Christian because I’m not as religious as I used to be - while I was going through abuse and manipulation. I practically got forced to get baptised when I said I wasn’t ready and was shamed by my parents for talking to people in the church about my abuse (didn’t know it was that back then). So I think it’s a thing of trying to feel safe idk.