What is it with boomers being physically incapable of admitting they're wrong about something or they don't know what they're talking about?

Boomer Story

My dad is a boomer, and embodies all of the worst characteristics of boomers - selfish, money obsessed and cheap when it comes to others but spares no expense for himself, zero interest or sympathy for his children who are all in their late 30s and struggling despite working in full time demanding careers.

But perhaps the most maddening thing that has always been a part of his personality, is that he cannot admit he is wrong. Ever. About anything.

He considers himself handy (and generally is) but if he fucks something up, it's always someone else's fault or some kind of problem with the materials.

If he makes a statement and is proven wrong, it's the fault of the source he got his info from and he "had a feeling it wasn't correct".

And this is something I have noticed is incredibly prevalent across the boomer generation, not only through first hand observation but also through conversation with friends and colleagues who all say the same thing about their parents and other boomer relations.

What is with this? Why does it seem to cause boomers actual, physical discomfort to admit they fucked up or they don't know what they fuck they're talking about?

in BoomersBeingFoolsby jean-drajbd

1.2K

97%

19d

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Relaxenjoyyourself

751

19d

There’s a book called A Generation of Sociopaths by Bruce Cannon Gibney that explains their behavior very well. Big theme I noticed in the book is that they’re basically a generation of rich entitled brats. Inherited the greatest economy the worlds ever seen and then destroyed it, mortgaging our future for their momentary gain. Then blamed us for it being ruined. “Pull yourself up by the bootstraps.” They didn’t, but their excesses included unearned confidence bordering on narcissism so they think they did

3RADICATE_THEM

280

19d

They lived in an era where you could be a half braindead incompetent who failed out of HS yet could still buy a home and provide for a family on a single income. Nowadays? We see STEM educated graduates struggling to afford bare essentials—if not struggling with major underemployment or unemployment.

unjointedwig

131

19d

100%. They general boomer consensus in my experience, they keep saying that houses were expensive to buy back then and they didn't get paid as much as we do now. So it's all relative.

They can't seem to wrap their head around a highschool drop out with 2 kids at the age of 20, with a husband working a really low paying job could be approved for a house not being anywhere like the situation today, they refuse to believe it.

My post war gen grandma seemed to understand a little more and empathise, when I explained it was not the same as back then. The highschool dropout couldn't comprehend but she's not actually a boomer either, she's a few years shy off that category. Still caught the good times boat with owning two houses. But also a tonne of debt because financial mismanagement. Laughs about spending our inheritance and leaving us with nothing. It's going to be funny when grandma bypasses her wealth to the grand kids so we can laugh back at her, about spending her inheritance.

Imagine an uneducated, minimum wage supermarket employee owning two houses now. Seems ludicrous!!

AntigoneorPriscilla

19d

That's what I've noticed about a lot of boomers! They directly compare the living standard of people in their generation (and their parents') who made absolutely horrible financial decisions (having too many kids too young with no education, living on one income, wasting money on random extravances, not investing anything) to millennials who starved through college and made every sacrifice on the front end before having a child or two in their late twenties/early thirties on two professional incomes and say we have it so easy because we can go on vacation every other year and get takeout occasionally.

rileyoneill

18d

To be fair, those were not considered horrible financial decisions back in those days. Jobs with a high school diploma paid living wages that you could afford that lifestyle.

Today we expect both partners to have educations so they can afford a house that is now 5-6 times the price that their grandpa would have paid for it and often times working jobs that used to not even require a degree. Millennials came of age in a period of extreme credentialism and cost of living increases. We also came of age in a period where many industrial jobs were off shored and the type of job that was once considered good enough were disappearing.

We had to catch up to a sky rocking cost of living and extremely competitive job market. We have had a labor excess in the US since the 1970s that got really big post 2008 GFC. We just started to go through the other way, a labor shortage and the business community has no way to cope with it.

JimroidZeus

18d

The labour shortage is imaginary and created by those doing the hiring.

It is a wage gap.

MirthMannor

19d

“I got three houses, you can’t get one?” “Yes. Exactly!”

ydna_eissua

19d

When the Simpson's came out, Homer was a dumb loser. Now we see he has a secure job, can afford a mortgage on house with 4 bedrooms, two cars, supporting 3 kids, and still afford to go out with his buddies each week ... all on a single income. Dude is living the dream.

Able_Engine_9515

19d

Let alone the guy has no idea how to do his job and Burns will never fire him no matter how much he loafs around because he chose to imprison him out of pure spite. Talk about Job security!

littlebitsofspider

18d

Job security? Competence? Homer Simpson isn't in prison. He figured out long ago that if he filled out the sector 7-G safety reports for the Nuclear Regulatory Commission correctly, Mr. Burns wouldn't fire him.

Able_Engine_9515

18d

I guess you missed Maggie's birth story. Burns has Homer locked in contract for life

lawpoop

19d

Each week? Each night, after work! Just like my grandpa's generation

Functional alcoholism

Peer1677

18d

Then again, we also have to keep in mind that Homer was (canonically) a successful, emmy-winning musician. They probably live off of the royalties instead of his pp-earnings.

Clearwater468

19d

This 10000%. The Boomers lived through a one-shot, unicorn event throughout all of modern times (and maybe all of human history in many respects).

The advent of the Industrial Revolution spurred unprecedented economic growth for the "commoners" (meaning the overwhelming majority of the population prior to that).

That economic growth continued to accelerate throughout the late 19th and early 20th century.

And at least from the American perspective, that growth was fairly unabated until the stock market crash of 1929 and the following Great Depression.

The economy began to stabilize under FDR's New Deal, but it really wasn't until WW2 (and the Lend-Lease Act) that the economy really began to roar.

The other advanced economies of the world at that time (Germany, Japan, France, Russia/Soviet Union & China (to some degree) were all shattered by the war, and the UK ended up in debt to the point that it would lead (among other things) to the eventual collapse of their empire and ceding of the top superpower in the world to the US.

It's hard to overstate how dominant America's economic position was at the end of WW2. Not since Rome had one country had that level of dominance over the "known" world to that point.

It is for that reason the past 80 years have been known as the "Pax Americana."

And after WW2, while the Soviet Union was a military peer, the US has always been the more dominant economic power post-WW2, and that dominance only grew with time.

The post WW2 economic growth of the US was pretty much unabated on an incredible scale until the late 1970s, which is insane by any historical standard.

Those were the halycon years the Boomers were born into, grew up under, and entered adulthood into. As long as you could hold down a job, any job, your living standards improved every single year for the most part.

It wasn't sustainable, but it colors Boomers entire view of the world. And it was enough to outlast the Soviet Union, which had even far more issues than the US.

That being said, starting with Reagan in the 80's (to oversimplify), the US economy has been ran like a Ponzi scheme (in fairness it's not the first country to do so by any stretch, but like any Ponzi scheme you can't keep it going indefinitely and at some point the population is going to suffer mightily when the currency (and economy) collapses.

The US has been able to kick the can far longer than most countries can due to our unique superpower position, but even we will reach that end. 40 years of accelerating deficit spending has left us in a position that is certain to end in misery.

And that end is approaching sooner than anyone of us would like, turbocharged by the global over-stimulus during Covid and the ongoing geopolitical instability.

And so now as their lives are reaching their ends, you would think maybe the American Boomers would look back and reflect on the great lives they have got to lead, the most privileged lives in human history relative to their global peers. And maybe think about what they can leave for the next generation.

But nope- it's still not enough. Look at the world. They can't stand the thought of a graceful exit like previous generations, and their self-importance and greed won't let them.

On top of the economic misery they seem content to leave us with, many of them will throw away democracy to put a criminal back in the White House to continue to live in the fantasy world that has been the lives for another day.

Screw the rest of us. They were brought up to think they were special (and through a toxic mix of Americanized, right-wing Christianity, Cold War propaganda, and good old lead paint and gasoline) that they were also the last generation.

But the end never came.

And now their time is up, and they can't deal, so they're cool with starting the apocalypse now and/or fucking the planet up or whatever nihilistic thing that enters their cerebellum.

No one else after them matters.

Your struggles are not real in their minds. In their minds, every moron with a pulse could succeed... what does that say about you?

Many of them now have given over their brains to Fox News and/or right-wing nonsense and are beyond resuscitation to any objective reality.

I wish I didn't feel this way about my parents' generation, but it is, in my experience, overwhelmingly true...

I genuinely feel for the world they've left for my children and grandchildren (and beyond).

ProfessionalFalse128

19d

Goddamn this was a depressing but on point comment....

I'm gonna get wasted now. Cya.

WatchingTaintDry69

18d

I wish I could get wasted and not feel like I was dying for the next 2 days.

PyroNine9

19d

There has also been a fundamental shift in business. At one time, a layoff would be punished on Wall Street as a sign of a failing company. Now it causes a surge. Acceptable profit margins used to be smaller, meaning workers got a higher portion of the revenue. That's not to say companies didn't want to make more, but they saw their workforce as an asset, not a liability.

LoKeySylvie

18d

Yup, the goal is to make profit, not employ people. And paying employees costs profit so now they're not even going to pay you enough to live off of because only businesses deserve to have money.

Ancient-Lobster480

19d

👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

Emotional_Fee_5612

18d

My god.....ridiculously and succinctly on point 🙄 do you wanna have a natter with my OH? He wrote his first dissertation (for his bachelors equivalent for you guys) 25 years ago and gets so, so cross about this very topic. I've heard about, discussed and lived through all you described above. It's depressing!!!

He wrote his second dissertation (masters) on the rise of New Labourism in the UK (The Third Way) which is also fascinating 🤔 considering the UK is catching up with the US with its far right, extremist and violent shifting of the narrative that is being experienced across the board.

When all is said and done, when I think about what is coming....I want to hide under my duvet and not come out. Do people really not see the writing on the wall? I've actually started prepping a little bit. Is that paranoid or prudent?

GrowWings_

19d

Very nice. Kind of disagree on the deficit hawk part, there are still a lot of ways that could go.

DanielleMuscato

19d

Taxes on the richest people are a joke now compared to previous eras:

https://www.reddit.com/r/FluentInFinance/s/HUBZL6CXjX

rileyoneill

18d

I actually think we are going to see another similar situation in the 2030s and 2040s. A huge source of the economic stability of the US was that we were the only remaining post war industrial economy at scale. We had this ENORMOUS advantage over every other country with our ability to produce and ship. Other industrial economies didn't even start to catch up until the 1960s. There was a solid 20 years of easy mode.

It wasn't until the 80s and 90s until the mass outsourcing to China got rolling. A lot of people in the US who had life on easy mode now suddenly had to compete with China. There were things we just could not do anymore competitively.

Well something is going to happen across most of the industrialized world, and North America is largely going to evade it. Demographic collapse. China is going through a population collapse where they will lose their industrial labor force and will have a huge population of retirees that they need to sustain. So will Korea, Japan, Spain, Italy, Russia, and the big source of European stability, Germany. Figure all the stuff these countries do, they will not be able to do it at scale anymore.

For stuff to get produced, its going to have to to come to North America. Mexico is going to pick up a lot of this slack, but there are only 125 million Mexicans. We are likely going to see a labor collapse in countries that combined have 2 billion people. Japan has been planning for this and has been outsourcing production to places like Vietnam, the Philippines, and North America. Germany has a bit with the US and will likely pick up considerably. But from our point of view, a bunch of industrial countries are going to go off line as they deal with their internal population issues. Very similar to all the industry going off line during WW2 needing to be rebuilt.

We are heading into a long term labor shortage in the US that is going to be amazing for Gen Z and Gen Alpha. There are something like 70+ new mega factories under construction in the US. These places are going to provide well paying jobs that will need workers with community college level certifications.

The Great Depression-WW2 didn't last forever, neither did the Post WW2 American High, nor the Mid 60s-early 80s counter culture era, or the fat late 80s-90s-2000s era, the Post GFC-Present era won't last forever either.

Pintortwo

Millennial

19d

You pulled on the wrong bootstraps. Obviously.

rileyoneill

18d

I know several who claim that even as half brain dead alcoholic HS dropouts they still worked WAY harder than those STEM grads and did more in a day than a millennial. Even when you hear that they worked retail or worked as janitors, jobs that today could not get you the smallest place.

"We did it, because we were bad assess"...

No.. you did it because homes where like $70,000 and your got a down payment for a wedding present.

I know several of my parent's friends, and my friend's parent's who did meh in life, then when their GI Generation parents died in the 90s and 2000s they got an enormous cash infusion. Like 7 figures 25-30 years ago. My friend was one telling me how his dad was giving him shit about how he isn't doing so well, and its like "uhhh, when you married mom you got a down payment as a wedding present and when grandpa died in the 90s you made like $2m tax free"

My mom was 19 years old, a high school graduate working her first entry level job. She had an apartment that was 1/5th her income, and this was in Southern California around 1976. Today, that same apartment, is $2000 per month. $10,000 per month would mean 1/5th is $2000. Do you think fresh high school grads are getting offers of $10,000 per month for entry level work? She was always an honest worker but I don't think she realized how expensive things got. She was still thinking apartments were $700-$900 per month like they were in the mid 2000s... they are not. The median household income in our city is just barely enough to even qualify for a 1 bedroom apartment now.

For as easy as the Boomers had it on this front, people in the 1950s had it even easier! In California, the median home price after adjusting for inflation would be like $100,000. Today its over $600,000. Housing in California is six times the price it was in the 50s. Buying one home today would be like buying 6 homes 70 years ago.

badaboomxx

18d

The thing that I hate the most is the avocado toast that rhey always claim is the problem, when people can barely afford bread, how they expect to buy a house unless they have at least double income.

AdhesivenessOld4347

18d

I agree with this. Loved my dad and he worked his ass off. Never graduated high school. Worked in receiving then all the way up to a 200,000 square foot building manager. Pretty sure he was making 100k + then. 4 kids, 3 bedroom home with 2 cars. Nowadays. No fucking way

czarface404

18d

Hey! That hurt.

Outofwlrds

19d

Now I've got a book to read. I've always had an unusual interest in people watching and trying to understand what makes people tick, and I just Do Not Understand my Boomer relatives.

internationalskibidi

19d

In a few words, they were promised infinite chicken nuggies as long as they would allow themselves to be shaped into the blunted tools you see. The cake was a lie. Imagine how mad you'd be? A lied to 65 year old 5 year old who demands more chicken nuggies now! (And not @ 6 for 17.99)

SHELLIfIKnow48910

19d

Thank you for the Portal reference.

The_Firedrake

19d

What's stupid is that whole Pick yourself up by your bootstraps thing was actually intended to showcase how impossible and dumb something is to attempt.

You cannot lift your own feet off the ground by pulling on your own bootstraps. But over time they morphed it into some sort of thing that's meant to be a pick me up or encouragement or whatever. It's not. It's meant to showcase that some action is ridiculous and/or impossible.

KamikazeKarl_

19d

If you try to lift yourself with your bootstraps, you'll end up facedown in the dirt. The exact place any fascist needs you to be

NuncaContent

19d

Mix that with three hours every day of pure arrogance and narcissism in the form of Rush Limbaugh’s radio show. 3 hours every single weekday for 30 years.

Ancient-Lobster480

19d

Rush Limbaugh is still dead. He started the hate speech campaigns

msut77

19d

It's one of those things like I'm sure you can't say an entire generation blah blah until Trump came along and just gave them an excuse to let it all out...

cyranothe2nd

19d

This doesn't really jive with my experience though. My dad has lived in poverty his entire life and he is still extremely arrogant and cannot admit that he is wrong. I do agree that wealth makes people less empathetic generally, but I think the attitude has a lot more to do with how Christianity and American exceptionalism has become intertwined.

TheGreatLuck

19d

My aunt's not well off and she absolutely loves all this conservative bullshit. I finally got her to admit to me frankly why she believed in all of it and she said well I'm going to be one of those rich people someday and then I'll be getting screwed over if the Democrats win. Like she's seriously believes that someday she'll be rich. And she's just like a small town mortician how the hell does she expect to just get rich all of a sudden? I asked her that and she didn't have an answer she just said oh God will award me someday. So yeah I'm pretty sure they're still waiting for their check and they're too stupid to realize they're never going to get it

D-Generation92

18d

It's all of them. Level of success makes no difference. My father hasn't done DICK, but he sure does have it all figured out, lemme tell ya 🙃

mminto86

19d

Thank you for the recommendation. I definitely will read.

HumpaDaBear

19d

Thanks for this. I’m getting that book. The description on Barnes and Noble hits right on the head.

Signal_Winter_7708

19d

I'm working my way through it. It's incredible how completely entitled they were as a generation. This book does a beautiful job of delving into boomer politics and how much of a detriment it has been on society.

Curiousblowfish9298

19d

The myth of meritocracy. I swear the bootstraps ideology is their proverbial bible.

metalmama18

19d

I literally came here to comment that the Silent Generation created a generation of narcissists.

Lizzyfetty

19d

My parents are silent gen and had me and my younger bro, both Gen X. I will say that my mother in particular is never wrong about anything and I have never really heard her say the word Sorry. She was loving in her way but was always a bit of an Almond mum and is spending her elder years believing every new age spiritual conspiracy You Tube she watches. Dad wasn't like that, but he is dead and I miss him, he kept mum in touch with reality I think, a warm hearted good guy

Prestigious_Jump6583

19d

I’ve started this book. It’s maddening, and I can’t read it at bedtime, lol, but it sure explains a lot. Thank you to whomever in here was the person to recommend it, I’ve since passed the title on as well.

phdeeznuts_

19d

Ooh thanks for that rec. Just added it to my Audible library.

One_Conversation_616

19d

I just ordered the book on Amazon, thank you for the recommendation!

WiseSalamander00

19d

what was the main cause they became like this according to that book?

Ancient-Lobster480

19d

It’s been extensively studied in Strauss & Howe’s 1997 book “Generations” this goes back hundreds of years.

The book outlines how each twenty year period is a generational “season”, and the people who lived within that season are impacted by it. They retain those views and values through their lives.

For example- The silent generation, the parents of the boomers, lived their first twenty years of life in a massive world war, rationing, and the depression.

Taking this experience with them, the silent generation is much more likely to be frugal, because that was their experience for the first 20 years of their life.

Even now you will find silent generation people who hoard things, can’t throw things away, reuse aluminum foil, because rationing during the First World War and the depression had a significant impact on them.

Boomers are the generation after WW2; they got to the carnival when it was full of prizes, they had educational programs, investment in infrastructure, focus on social programs…. And then every choice Boomers made as adults was purely based out of self interest. They grew up as spoiled children and they didn’t grow up.

Boomers are not happy about the blow to their egos but the reality is they don’t acknowledge how bad they ruined society. They were given a working system, and they broke it by their choices.

Reality is, in every single decision, as a group, boomers uniformly showed motivations of self-enrichment and their own self interest over anything else. They climbed the ladder and then pulled it up after them, while taunting young people today saying they should “pull them selves by their own bootstraps“. Boomers got to the carnival when there were lots and lots of prizes, and it was possible to buy a house on a garbageman’s salary.

As boomers from 1950 developed into parents, adults, and business owners (in the 1980’s), they took their greedy me-first perspective with them. Every social program gutted, all the benefits they enjoyed were denied to their children and grandchildren because of their greed.

Basically, the boomers are the ones who are the “generation of locusts”

Just look at their children-this is the most divorced population in history, and the damage it did to their children was immense.

Most boomers simply didn’t care because they were “doing what’s right for me” that’s why so many people hate their boomer parents, and refused to have any contact with them.

WiseSalamander00

19d

so they are basically spoiled brats?.

soqqers

19d

holy shit that book sounds awesome i’ve gotta read that

TechDadJr

166

19d

My inlaws are incabable of admitting they are wrong. When confronted with it they either double down or they argue wat a fact is. They are also incapable of any sort of critical thinking or any sort of nuanced answer. Also, they about as hypicritical as possible. The are against all sorts of things or have hard line views, but when pressed because their behaviour is excactly what they are against, they comfort themselves with the idea that in their case, it's warranted. For example, they rage on about people not wanting to work and living on unemployment (when that's not even possible), but during my FIL's working life, he got laid off multiple times and collected unemployment each time as well as got assistance from their family to make ends meet. They weren't acepting handouts or milking the system, they had a legitimate need. Sure.

MashedProstato

19d

It sounds like my Boomer-In-Laws. They use what I refer to as the "That's different!" clause.

CCSucc

19d

Also observed in young children, difference being is that it's referred to as the "Nu uh Protocol".

cheerful_cynic

19d

"one of the good ones"

dpj2001

Gen Z

19d

My coworker is exactly like this. Several small stories I’ve got:

We had a disagreement on when something happened and she based it solely off a phone call we had. She screamed at me until I almost cried about how the call happened at 1:30, then when she was done I pulled up my phones call history and showed it had in fact happened at 2:00 so it couldn’t have happened when she claimed. “Oh, I see.” Is all I got. No apology.

She asked me to hand her some supplies we didn’t have and I told her as much. She yelled that we had it on the shelf. I double checked and said no we didn’t. She gave me a death glare and stormed over and pointed at the incorrect box and screamed, “WHAT IS THAT!?” I simply pointed out it wasn’t what she was looking for. She looked at it, saw I was right, and started grumbling about how, “coworker xyz must’ve stolen it.”

A building on the weekend shift has to be locked at all times since no one is in it. To lock the door you have to push the button in and turn it other wise when you turn the knob the lock will pop back out. She doesn’t lock it correctly then notices it the next time she goes in and calls me to scream at me about leaving the door unlocked. She tries to teach me incorrectly how to lock it. I then correct her on the real way to do it. She starts to scream until the coworker she was with tried it and told her I was right. She then proceeded to try and teach me how to lock it the exact way I literally just told her.

These are some of the small stories keep in mind. This is why when trolls come into this sub and claim we’re all ageist bigots I don’t give them an ounce of respect.

r0b0t-fucker

19d

Have you ever told her to shut the fuck up? Apparently your work’s HR just allows whatever so you shouldn’t get in trouble for it.

dpj2001

Gen Z

19d

Wish I could, she’s our team lead now.

ktappe

19d

If she keeps creating a hostile work environment and you report her for that she won't be your lead much longer.

Healthy-Factor-2841

19d

She’s a monster but you shouldn’t have to put up with someone like this, especially at work. Bring that energy back to her. Call her out.

“You were wrong and rude. Where’s the apology? Can I scream at YOU like that now since YOU were in the wrong??? Being the wrong one means you apologize, Debbie. Weren’t you raised with ANY manners?!”

Oh, it made me warm inside just to think about saying that last line to her and she’s not my coworker.

dpj2001

Gen Z

19d

One of the bigger times she really crossed the line. I don’t even remember why she was chewing me out. It was the end of the day and I was going to my car and just ignoring her as she followed me and berated me. I got into my car and when I tried to close the door she stood in the way and folded her arms and leaned back forcing my door back open. That did it. I snapped and screamed at her to get the fuck off my car. She backed off, but her response the next day was to tell me how, “out of line,” I was and that I, “showed my true colors that day.”

Healthy-Factor-2841

19d

How/why are you taking so much abuse from this Linda?

I’m the same. I can ignore most things but, the second I’m restricted in any way like that, something primal in me comes out. Idk what it is but, I fully lose it. She would have had to call the cops. 😳🥴 (It’s something I’m working on.)

I’m pretty sure Linda only keeps this shit up because you just take it. Can’t you grab a platter and serve some right back at her?

dpj2001

Gen Z

19d

I have been slowly but surely pushing back against her bs. Over 4 years of this shit almost every single day and the above story is the only time I’ve ever really snapped at her. Now though? I’m just no longer giving a fuck. It’s a shitty job and I’m tired of giving it my all, especially with the coworkers I’ve got. On an impulse buy on Amazon I bought a bag full of little rubber middle fingers I planned to carry around and give to coworkers as my “last fuck to give” when they annoyed me, but I chickened out of that. As much as I hate the job and my coworkers I need to make money as I start college courses and having a permanent spot with the feds is super valuable. Great benefits and if I qualify for the job I can transfer to any agency in any part of the country. So, I’m just mostly silently dealing with the abuse until I can escape.

Healthy-Factor-2841

19d

I can understand keeping your head down because you need the job but, you need to start standing up for yourself. You don’t have to fully flip out but, she needs to be corrected. Calmly. Say “If you keep talking to me like that, Linda, I’m not going to speak to you.” If therapy is something available to you, I think it could be great to teach you how and when to assert yourself. This is definitely the time to start deciding personal boundaries. Being treated like you are should come with corrections and consequences to Linda. I hope you’re able to make that happen. Things will be much better.

Take care.

dubyas1989

18d

Dude you can keep your job and not be a doormat at the same time.

AmaroisKing

19d

Report her to HR- hostile work environment. She might have a heart attack on the spot , problem solved.

One_Conversation_616

19d

I second this. No one should be allowed to act that way.

No_Refrigerator4584

19d

Sounds like virtually every manager I’ve ever had.

vandope88

19d

Who hurt her?

Raynstormm

19d

Leaded gasoline vapors.

Majestic-Bid6111

19d

Her worthless fucking parents

AsleepJuggernaut2066

19d

No one should yell and scream at coworkers. I think I might record her and take it to HR.

dpj2001

Gen Z

19d

I’ve shared stories of not just her, but several of my boomer coworkers before. This is the most common advice I get, and it’s great advice, but upon looking into it my state has consent laws that prohibit me from recording someone and sharing it without their permission.

WeathermanOnTheTown

19d

We literally never see members of any other generation acting like that. Mayyybe a few old Xers.

Mostly, it's the Boomers.

DeSlacheable

18d

Shame is my best weapon in these situations. "I can't believe you're talking like this. I used to have such respect for you." "Aren't you embarrassed? You sound like a toddler."

MightyPitchfork

141

19d

When my kids asked a question I didn't know the answer to, I would say, "I don't know," and we'd research it together.

I'd learn something and bond with my kids. Win win.

MadAstrid

19d

I remember reading a study about an experiment done at the air and space museum in dc, I think. They put up a fake exhibit. Then they watched. When children asked about it, men, almost unfailing, made something up. Women, almost unfailingly, said I don’t know, let’s ask someone.

This was a while ago. Fits neatly into boomer category. I know when I read about it I made a note to say I didn’t know when I did not, and to look up the answer with my kids, because it modeled what to do when you were unsure of something. My kids are 20 now. And I was a “geriatric” mother.

FoldingLady

19d

This describes my parents. My dad will bullshit when he doesn't know & never acknowledges when proven wrong. Just huffs & changes the topic. My mom will at least admit she doesn't know.

I plan to look up shit I don't know with my kid together. We've got a computer in our hands 90% of the time with access to infinite knowledge. Let's use the fun sci-fi device.

Orthoglyph

19d

My mom, when it comes to politics is at least able to admit she doesn't know about things and doesn't bother looking into anything to inform herself, but continues voting the way she always has. When I've tried informing her on different issues she says I'm biased despite the fact that I'll happily and often do point out issues and good things on both sides of the aisle. But because my informed conclusions are counter to hers, I must be biased.

toblies

19d

We used to do this in job interviews.. We'd have some pretty heavy expertise on the interviewer side of the table, and We'd go through the scripted interview, and keep drilling until we hit bottom. The point was to find out how the person behaved when they did not know something. People who make shit up and improvise to cover ignorance were eliminated. People who said, huh, I'm not sure about that, but here's how I'd go about finding out.... different story.

We built a great, strong team this way.

officialdougjudy

19d

This is the way. If I really wanted the job, this is where you go "honestly, hate to admit I'm stumped, but I need more information before I can make a solid decision. Can we dig further or is there any information I haven't been told?". Catnip to interviewers.

Sasquatch1729

19d

The Boomers don't have that "lifelong learner" mentality. It's why so many of them have issues with people being gender-fluid or Pluto not being a planet anymore. They memorized facts in school and that's it.

My folks were once arguing about who starred in some movie 60 years ago. It escalated to the point of them shouting and swearing at one another. My wife was getting frustrated and looked it up on her phone. They were both wrong, and both started yelling at her that she's wrong. I told her it doesn't matter what the answer is, mom and dad just want to fight, and she should be quiet or be the third person in a three way shouting match. But we certainly don't act that way, and will teach our children better too.

stellazee

19d

My old boss (a boomer) and I were listening to music in the office, and the song Son of a Preacher Man by Dusty Springfield came on. Boss said, "I love this song, and Petula Clark's voice specifically". I said yes, the song is great, but Dusty Springfield sang it (I have no idea why I knew this). Boss, scoffing and snickering at me, said no, that it was Petula Clark. This went back and forth for a moment or two, then I googled the song. I told him that yes, it was Dusty who sang it. I wasn't trying to win, or make him feel bad; he was operating off incorrect info and I was giving him the correct info. His response? A petulant (pun intended) "Oh, thanks, stella, thanks so much for proving I was wrong. YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE THAT!" He was actually upset with me. I looked at him like he was a crazy person because I couldn't believe he responded so out of proportion to such a tiny little error.

Blue_Seven_

19d

I’d tell him I know theres a place he can go…

Downtown

SaltyBarDog

19d

I would have turned into a huge dick about it.
If you don't want to be proved wrong, don't be wrong. Hey, remember that time you were so confoundedly wrong about that Dusty Springfield song?

Who TF gets all huffy about something so meaningless?

TPWilder

19d

In fairness - a lot of older Boomer range folks are also worried about warning signs of dementia and get defensive if they forget something because they worry it will lead to an accusation of dementia

SaltyBarDog

19d

My mother gets confused with details of things that happened but when I correct her, she doesn't get pissed about it. Sometimes she does worry about it but at 81, some is to be expected.

thebaron24

19d

They would rather feel right than be right.

ktappe

19d

That's a great way of putting it. It's such a foreign concept to me (I want to be actually right) that I couldn't come up with the way you put it.

saywhatagainmthrfckr

Gen X

19d

Jesus that sounds horrible. Why would you stick around and subject you and your wife to that?

Sasquatch1729

19d

The kitchen had the Christmas cookies and cakes, it was -30 outside, and there are only so many hours a day we can spend shopping or doing activities around my hometown while questioning why we pay to fly there every second year.

Also I grew up with that so it didn't bother me. Although after a round of therapy a few years ago, my folks acting this way probably did bother me more than I realized.

Since then they've calmed down. They're older and no longer have the energy to act like "the Costanzas from Seinfeld" as my wife put it. Also we've had kids since then so I can tell them to zip it. They never cared if their kids or significant others were present, but with their grandchildren in the room they listen when I tell them to act civilly.

known-enemy

19d

Before the internet, being older equated to more intelligence and wisdom. Now in the age of the internet, anyone can look an answer up, and being old doesn't always equate to being wise or smart. Boomers fucking hate this. They were always told when they got older they'd be wise, an inspiration. Now they've got young brats proving them wrong and challenging their morals.

Lexi_the_grimmchild

19d

And to be honest, because they thought they would wisen with age, they never bothered actually learning anything

egk10isee

19d

They also were considered right by merely being confident about something like who an artist was. By the time you were able to actually research it they would lie and say that they never said it was that artist. They were never wrong.

GilletteLongmarche

19d

Just wait—one day Pluto will be recognized again! Justice for Pluto!

NuncaContent

19d

You’re on to something. My peers stopped trying, stopped learning, 30 years ago. They’re right, if you don’t believe they’re right, just ask them. No need to learn anything new.

As a result, life has passed them by. There isn’t a lot of humility out there so instead of admitting they dropped the ball, they double down and shift the blame to everyone but themselves.

They love Trump because he tells them they have a right to be angry at the Government, at the Democrats, at blacks, at Hispanics, at immigrants. He mirrors their victimhood.

fuzzimus

19d

Pluto is a dog.

nickrocs6

19d

Sounds like something a librul would do. /s

bessa100

19d

So true!! I had a relative tell me I was wrong for doing this. I should never admit I didn’t know something, but make up a random answer instead. Wtf???

Arxhon

19d

“If you don’t know, just tell lies.”

Explains a lot, actually.

Significant_Eye561

18d

When I asked my boomer dad something he didn't know he would make something up. I guess he thought I was a dumb kid and I wouldn't know the difference and it was more important for him to look like he knew then for me to learn about the world or be able to see him as a fallible human being. I think when I hit maybe 6 years old, I realized he was lying to me a lot and that I was going around believing things that were complete crap. I was so embarrassed. I felt like I'd been conned. I realized I couldn't trust him.

Queasy-Trip1777

19d

Its the way they were raised. My grandmother survivied the dust bowl and the great depression. THOSE people did not give a fuck about anyone's feelings, because just finding the next meal was the priority for many here in the midwest during that time. Those are the people who raised my parents. Those people had one way of doing things, and if you didn't abide it, you'd literally get the shit beat out of you. SO those kids grew up associating being wrong with a threat of physical harm.

Now LOGICALLY it makes sense that that same consequence would not occur as a grown adult, but the way your brain is programmed through years of any type of conditioning kind of makes those reactions involuntary and informed by anxiety more so than logic. The only way to fix this, is for the person who does it to recognize it and make continuous conscious effort to reprogram their default response to a stressor...such as being wrong.

Have you ever seen a boomer be unequivocally wrong about something, be shown and proven how wrong they are, and still have them double down on it? Every time I have seen it happen, that person has been washed with anxiety and starts stuttering and does not have a clue how to respond because it interrupts their circuitry. Fucking glitches them straight out, because they are wired to accept everything at face value, or face consequence.

Healthy_Television10

19d

I think you are in the area where the real answer lies: they have rigid and externalized self regulation processes because they learned to do what authority told them or get beat. And wow they sure wish they could beat, terrify, deprive, or kill all those wrong bad people out there. Because it made THEM into the great people they are now

Constant_Jackfruit21

19d

Have you ever seen a boomer be unequivocally wrong about something, be shown and proven how wrong they are, and still have them double down on it?

I was eating lunch out during the Christmas season, and there was a family with a Boomer behind me. They were playing Christmas trivia and the son asked "what movie did Donald Trump make a cameo in?" And gave a few options including Home Alone 2 and the Santa Clause.

Boomer says the Santa Clause. When corrected like "no, it is actually Home Alone 2", the Boomer IMMEDIATELY got extremely defensive saying THATS WHAT I SAID THATS WHAT I SAID NO YOURE WRONG AND WERENT LISTENING TO MEEEEEE.

they cannot be wrong about anything, EVER, and it is wild.

Working_Early

19d

The lack of effort to correct obviously toxic behavior is what makes me resent them, regardless of upbringing. To me, that's a weak excuse. To me, doubling down indicates that they know they are in the wrong, but take no steps towards self improvement. It's pathetic and childish.

arcanepsyche

19d

they are wired to accept everything at face value

Holy shit, this is so true. In response, Millennials learned to distrust everything.

Lexi_the_grimmchild

19d

Thankfully, this generational back and forth is starting to end with the more and more common practice of not projecting trauma onto your kids

WeathermanOnTheTown

19d

I have proven my Boomer mother wrong so many times -- sometimes with a simple Google search -- and she has refused to admit it almost every one of those times, even in the face of evidence. Once, she even started making up fake friends to justify her opinion. I called her out on that too.

At this point, I don't even bother anymore. "Just let me be wrong!" she once shrieked. "Just let me say the things I want to say! They don't have to be right!"

She won't change.

(Let me add that I love my Boomer mother for other reasons. But this characteristic makes her literally impossible to argue with.)

bandcat1

19d

As a boomer myself I look around and just sigh. I also named my pub trivia team "The Dunning-Krugers" to make fun of ourselves. Nobody else got the joke.

Tychonoir

19d

A long time ago I was invited to watch an air show from a co-worker's relative's boat (The Boomer).

The thing is, this co-worker and I didn't actually hang out much outside of work. I though it was a little unusual to get the invite, but didn't read into it too much because I was just excited to see the air show with someone from a good vantage point.

Now I'm no expert in aviation, but I know a few things.

This guy was just endlessly spewing one incorrect thing after another about the various aircraft, if he even correctly identified what plane it was to begin with. While I wasn't trying to be an ungrateful guest, I couldn't help but correct the more egregious errors.

I later learned I was invited, in no small part, specifically to correct his bullshit. Apparently he was known for talking out of his ass, and my coworker was tired of it.

AccidentallySJ

19d

Haha, you were on duty.

idontevenliftbrah

19d

I've never heard the words "I'm sorry" come out of my boomer parent's mouth. You are not alone.

ScotchyMcSing

19d

Oh, my father apologized a lot. “I’m sorry I hit you, but if you hadn’t done [whatever the hell it was], I wouldn’t have had to.” In a strange way, I’m grateful for it. It was a lesson on how not to be.

hva_vet

Gen X

18d

The Narcissist Prayer.

That didn't happen.

And if it did, it wasn't that bad.

And if it was, that's not a big deal.

And if it is, that's not my fault.

And if it was, I didn't mean it.

And if I did, you deserved it.

omgicanteven22

19d

It’s okay because even if they say it they don’t meet it, because they repeat the same actions over and over and then wonder why you don’t want to come home.

ButtSlivers

19d

They have never considered any other way of doing things, therefore they couldn't have done anything wrong

User deleted comment

19d

Working_Early

19d

But you're noticing it and worried about it. That puts you miles ahead and you can prepare or catch yourself in those moments. Good on you

777joeb

19d

Some of the most fun you can have is to just keep proving them wrong. My ex-FIL was like this and instead of being annoyed I’d just keep pulling apart his argument, showing him documentation he was wrong, and insisting he provide evidence for his claim. Every time he would try to change the subject I’d bring us back on topic. The goal wasn’t to win an argument it was just to illustrate the absurdity of his.

Watching him go beet red and eventually cus me out and walk away was like getting a gold medal.

Even then though, he would never admit he had been wrong. He would just leave and we wouldn’t hear from him for awhile.

AccidentallySJ

19d

Haha, this brings back fond memories of my husband with my dad. I got way too emotional to debunk his nonsense but since my husband wasn’t his son he remained detached and went to town .

sharkscott

19d

My father is a boomer and he's right about everything no matter what you're talking about he's always right cuz he has to be right cuz he knows more than you cuz he's been there. He's smarter than you richer than you and more experienced than you so just shut up and take it like a man.

michealdubh

19d

I have (had ) a long-time friend (like, we go back to childhood) who'd get into long, interminable arguments about stupid stuff .. stuff that was just factually wrong. And I'm not talking about political issues but ... well, once he started going off on how human beings are carnivores ... pure carnivores. Not an issue to get excited about, I figured (incorrectly) so thinking he'd just gotten his terminology mixed up and we were discussing the issue in good faith, I showed him a few sources that explained the difference between carnivores, omnivores, and herbivores ... he doubled down -- and this in light of his having just come off a totally vegetarian diet on his doctor's orders, so I tried logic -- how could you survive for two years on a vegetarian diet if you're a pure carnivore? I asked ...

None of which made any difference. He launched into name calling -- I was a socialist, marxist, fascist, un-american, baby-eating pedaphile!

I just gave up and shortly afterwards cut off contact with him.

cleo1357

19d

Because they're not interested in the truth or being correct. They're only interested in "winning". I swear they make stuff up just so they can argue so that they can "win". It's also why they love chaos and tribalism and having someone to blame everything on.

OlafForkbeard

19d

OCPD (not to be confused with OCD) is basically "Boomer Syndrome". One of it's identifying traits is the inability to see how they are wrong, as a culmination of the below symptoms:

Preoccupation with details
Perfectionism interfering with task completion
Rigidity and stubbornness
Reluctance to delegate
Excessive conscientiousness and pedantry (excessive concern with minor details and rules)
Workaholic behavior
Miserliness (excessive desire to save money)
Inability to discard worn-out or worthless objects[19]

Healthy_Television10

19d

All related to intense, repressed anxiety

AerynBevo

19d

That was my grandmother, especially 2 and 7.

CCSucc

19d

This rings frighteningly true for my mother, as well as my father-in-law, both of which are Boomers that had questionable relationships with at least one of their respective parents

Round-Place548

19d

All of these points (except #8) describe a former boss to a T. The best part? She was 49 (and 2 years younger than me) when she finally quit my company. 😳

omgicanteven22

19d

I keep saying some Gen X are new boomers.

NoMembership2831

19d

Its simple...they are always right even when they are wrong they are right!

houseofleopold

19d

you’ve met my mother!

NoMembership2831

19d

It must be in the boomers genes!

scottwricketts

Gen X

19d

OMFG this is my dad to a "T". I think it's why I have zero tolerance for bullshitters, so many things he told me as a kid were not just wrong, but horribly wrong. He talks out his ass to this day and he has never accepted responsibility for anything he's done wrong.

kjwj31

19d

My father is physically incapable of admitting he is wrong or apologizing. More than once I've been screamed at or called names by him as an adult over a simple disagreement or even due to something someone else did but he will never apologize. He DEMANDS respect from others but is incapable of giving it to others. He is always right, it's always his way. My mother plays the victim (and in some ways she is) but she also enables his behavior by always backing him up and declaring "well, you know what a hot head he is..."

omgicanteven22

19d

This. I keep telling my mom she enables my dad’s behavior for not leaving, and finally being like you shouldn’t treat me or your daughter like this bye.

stuckonpost

19d

I’m coming to terms with this and I’m super frustrated.

I grew up with my dad blaming everything and everyone but himself. I got that from him. When I became a chef, I was a wee little tyrant; everyone was wrong, and I’m the one who is right.

I d 35 and I’m slowly coming to terms with this. I have humbled myself greatly, and I strive to put others first and learn to be empathetic.

It’s tough, but I’m getting there.

Hold on… Lemme rephrase that…. I’m never going to get there, but I’m going to try harder to do better.

Any_Ad235

19d

Good on you, fellow redditor \m/ it is really nice on the other side where were all in this together and seeking truth together, not just trying to step on each other to be the most right ever at all times!!

mermaiddolphin

19d

My in-law’s inability to admit they’re wrong and are always defensive is why they’ll never watch my child alone.

If they can’t admit they were wrong about the odor absorbing disc in a fucking diaper genie, whose to say they won’t admit they were wrong or take ownership if something goes wrong while they’re watching my baby alone?

flannelNcorduroy

19d

I need someone to make a gif for me of Sponge Bob saying,

✋✨🌈 "It's Narcissism"🌈✨🤚

Unchained_Memory33

19d

Also NPD crosses over into this thread quite often

Consistent-Grape4447

19d

Lol, your dad is a narcissist. Like someone said, i have boomer in laws as well, and they are alcoholics too and never admit fault. My father in law is 70 with a bad hip and bad knee, got trashed, and fell on his face, almost crushing my son and daughter and claiming he was dizzy when i confronted him the next day. I was like no you had 6 glasses of box wine under an hour and thats why you tried walking on your face, he argued asking if i had video proof of him drinking that much, i politely asked him to get the eff out of my house and stay far the fuck away from my kids...he looked at me like i had 10 heads. Oh, by the way, there was no attempt made to apologize till this day.

AsharraDayne

18d

Everyone is going to say lead poisoning - and that is correct - but I have a pet theory that A LOT of this is undiagnosed autism, or neurodivergence.

Ime, This behavior tend to go along with EXTREME rejection sensitivity, rigid rules and habits, a preference for authoritarian parenting/govt/management (as long as they’re on top anyway), etc. seems to me to be a lot like autism tinged with one levels of entitlement and lack of self awareness.

arcanepsyche

19d

Oh my fucking god, this is so damn true. My dad will never, ever, admit to making a mistake or doing something wrong unless he can find someone/something else to blame!

SaltyBarDog

19d

My father was a silent gen and had a huge case of that. When things went right, it was his masterful skill. When things went wrong, it was wrong tool I gave him, not holding the flashlight correctly, not being able to hold up an entire exhaust system for an extended amount of time, etc.

FluffyMcFlufferface

19d

Once I was stuck on a plane with a bunch of drunken Boomers headed home from a golf trip. We were diverted to an airport within reasonable driving distance from our intended destination.

A couple of us got online and reserved rental cars. For whatever reason, the airline wanted us to stay on the plane. A passenger stood up and said, “I have a rental car waiting for me, can you please let me off the plane?”

The Boomers exploded in laughter. “She thinks there is a car waiting for her,” “She has no idea everybody else is already in line, there won’t be any cars,” “We know better, don’t we?”

ExcellentAd7790

19d

It's so bad, they can't accept diagnoses of their traumatized kids. I informed my mom a couple of weeks ago I received a diagnosis of autism five years ago. She adamantly refuses to believe it. She's a psych nurse!! I have so, so much trauma, and part of it was suffering through school and life having to mask and pretend and not be myself. But it's wrong because she didn't see it.

Dependent_Bill8632

19d

Generation contains a disproportionate number of malignant narcissists.

HumpaDaBear

19d

I see you’ve met my mother!

Dependent-Outcome-57

19d

Yeah, a few "Boomer in spirit" clowns I know are like this. An example was a few weeks back we were playing a board game and there were two possible interpretations to a rule. It didn't really matter since we'd already won the cooperative game, but there was no clear support for either interpretation. Gen-X Boomer decided to fully commit to one interpretation and starts getting mad when the other interpretation is even considered. Keep in mind that this issue just came up and no facts supported either position, but he immediately found something he wanted to believe and was going to throw a fit about it if he was wrong. They are lunatics.

CatGooseChook

19d

A generation of parrot learners, i.e. a whole lotta rote memorization and not much actual thinking beyond immediate wants.

malYca

19d

It's a core attribute of narcissism.

SuperbBison2867

19d

My mother was a boomer among boomers and yes - never wrong never failed always the best always the lead….and yes when shown concrete proof of her error? would use dipshit logic or lazy deflection and re direction to stay correct - I get shocked and not shocked at all the NC people I meet

soulstyce_

19d

Boomers never learned how to control their ego.

Cyber_Insecurity

19d

They grew up watching the news. The news and newspapers used to be the ONLY outlets for information and being well informed back in the day was a huge flex.

They think the news today is just as truthful as it was back then, so they still think they’re more informed than the average person, which couldn’t be more wrong. One Google search on a phone can discredit a boomer’s entire identity, but they don’t want to accept that.

Amoebananas

18d

I hate this about them. Also when they continue to double down and start creating strawmans in order to “win” the argument.

They also can’t seem to comprehend different perspectives than their own are just different perspectives, not challenges to their personal viewpoints

GeneralDumbtomics

Gen X

19d

This is my mother. My wife calls her a right fighter which isn't a bad assessment.The damage to her ego from not being right is just unthinkable to her.

[deleted]

19d

Watching TV with my parents:

Hey it’s that guy from that other show!

No it’s not.

Yes it is.

No it’s not. Look I just pulled it up on IMDb.

Believe whatever you want Hedgehog! I know what I’m talking about. I know what shows I’ve seen and it’s definitely the same actor.

WeathermanOnTheTown

19d

I'm not allowed to do fact-checks like that with my boomer parents. I cannot pull out my phone to add to the conversation.

Their. Reality. Will. Not. Be. Contradicted.

WhateverYouSay1084

19d

My dad especially is like this. I've never heard him say I'm sorry and he's done plenty over the years to be sorry for. It caused a giant rift in our relationship until I had kids. He wasn't much of a dad, but he will (and has) rearrange his entire life to be with his grandkids. It's enabled us to have some open conversations that would have never occurred without my kids.

FynneRoke

19d

Because "I'm the adult*, and it's not your place to question me".

*Replace adult with whatever credential they have or think is relevant in the particular situation to convey that nobody will ever be qualified to contradict the opinion that they have a right to, especially their own children.

Competitive-Bug-7097

19d

It's hard. We were never given the words or the skills. It was very hard for me to learn how to admit that I was wrong. It's been a struggle to learn how to not freak out on people when I am upset at them. When I was growing up, my family was freaking out all the time! Always someone freaking out about something. It has been a journey to learn the skills to be a decent person as an adult. It took me far too long to do it, too, because I passed it on to my daughter, who is a wonderful person other than her tendency to freak out once in a while.

One_Conversation_616

19d

I just want to say thank you for sharing that. I know how much hard work and introspection it takes to come to that point in yourself and how much more it takes, even with relative anonymity, to admit it in front of others. Keep growing, learning, and trying because self improvement is a continual thing! I'm a millennial and have trouble with that myself sometimes.

-Be well

Any_Ad235

19d

Thank you for giving us some rational feedback young boomer man!! This rings true and helps make sense!! You Rock. \m/

shannamarie91

19d

Do we have the same dad? Lol. 🙃

Conscious_Meaning676

Gen X

19d

Shame. Their egos are so fragile and so out of touch with with their emotions, any little crack in the facade they present the world will result in a cascade, an out of control shame spiral of worthlessness they may never recover from.

They are the most insincere people because their entire personalities are a front to hide the complete and utter failures they know they are on the inside.

ScifiGirl1986

19d

One of my aunts absolutely cannot apologize. She’ll say the worst things and then when she realizes she’s wrong, she calls you “pumpkin head” and act like nothing ever happened. I imagine her mother never apologized to her and she just perpetrates the cycle.

My mom can’t apologize either, but at least she skips the cute nicknames and skips straight to pretending it never happened.

Flashy_Watercress398

19d

I'm in the absolute slog part of trying to care for my boomer parents. I think mom might live to torment me for years. I hope so. I don't think Dad has long. But the two of them are making me crazy(er.)

Dad's at the skilled nursing facility. It took me a few days to find him a flip phone, because he's blind, can't use a smart phone, his Alexa device won't pair with the nursing home wifi, and it's the 21st damned century, so flip phones aren't easy to find.

So, until I could set him up with communication, I left a list of important phone numbers next to his bed. If he wanted to call me, my brother, my mom, or his sister, the numbers were there and a staff member always called if he asked. (Very cool.)

"Did you include the area code?"

"Uhhh, yeah. 10-digit dialing has been a thing here for more than a decade?"

"I don't believe you."

Aight. I have a black sharpie right here in my wallet. I can black out the area codes, and you can just wait for the number to never connect?

"I don't ever remember having to dial the area code, you're wrong."

FFS Dad. Lay there and be wrong. I'll be back tomorrow.

Jumbojimboy

19d

Their self worth is tied to being right, so they must do everything to prove they are. If they are shown to be wrong, they're not good enough. Sounds like the fault of being raised to believe being wrong means they're not good enough. Painful way to live.

SquarePiglet9183

19d

There is a great word that describes this perfectly: ultracrepidarian- meaning a person who speaks with great authority on something they know nothing about. Whenever my husband does this I pull out this word and call him that. Usually works

potaytoh_potahtoh

19d

Is your dad my dad?? This is the cornerstone of my father's personality. I've never once heard the man apologize or admit he is wrong-- if he made a mistake then of course it's your fault. Or someone else's fault.

HugeJohnThomas

19d

Because they are entitled toddlers. They were born into the biggest economic boom in human history. Like ever. And lived through the entire thing. They never had to accept responsibility for anything. They could just leave the scene and go someplace else successful.

For example: My mom went to college. At 19, her boyfriend dumped her. She was so crushed that she dropped out of fucking college and moved back in with her parents for a month until she got a job. This was her "rock bottom" and she had to "take a horrible job that was beneath her to survive". This was working at a ski area selling lift tickets. I did the math, and she was making today's equivalent of $65k/year. She worked there, seasonally, taking the summers off, for 5 years. Then got promoted to a full time position making $92k/year in today's money.

Pretty much all they did there was fuck and do drugs.

Then she had kids and decided she wanted to be a stay at home mom. Also resented her parents for criticizing her parenting skills, which were awful. So she picked up and moved us 4 hours away, "out of range" of her parents.

Unfortunately at that point, the golden age economy had ended and they had to take out 3 mortgages on the house to enable her to sit at home and watch TV all day. Cause she didnt raise us at all....

littleblackcat

19d

I've met people of all ages who do this: millennial, gen x, boomer, silent gen.

I think the reason why Gen Z doesn't do it is that they grew up with mobile phones, constant surveillance and the ability to always be humbled instantly with Google, receipts, etc. There IS no more "I never said that" or "Tom Cruise definitely starred in Inception" because we all have phones now.

iworkbluehard

19d

Maybe it is harder to admit you are wrong the closer you get to death? Like you are running out of time and have been taught you should be wise by this point. It reminds you that their will be exitance that erases a persons exitance after life. For example - 20 years after my death cars will look and function totally differently than my current understanding. Could this be part of it?

JohnPaton3

19d

the worst is when you attempt to clarify or correct something and they dismiss what you're saying by uttering, "well i dont know about that," obviously boomer, obviously you dont so why do you think you do

alexc1ted

19d

This reminds me of my dad and my first car. I had to fiddle with the key to get it start. It was Progressively getting worse and worse. Finally one day I just couldn’t turn the key. I told my dad and he refused to believe me. Gets into my car and with all of his strength turns the key..and thr entire contents of the ignition shot out. He never apologized. Never admitted that it was actually broken. We just replaced it and never spoke of it again hah.

KittyKupo

18d

My mom borrowed my laptop once and dropped it, breaking the camera. I caught her dropping it, but she acted like it didn’t happen. A few days later I was telling my sister why my camera was broken and my mom overheard and got mad at me for “telling lies about her”.

rrhunt28

18d

I know a person like that. Got into an argument about something stupid and they would not believe I was right. Then I looked it up and showed I was correct and they still wouldn't really admit to it. I got them to say that what I said was correct, but they would not say they were wrong.

FatherOfLights88

18d

They seem to be entirely non reflective. As if they're completely incapable of looking inside themselves. And whenever they're pointed to look inward, they shriek.

MiciaRokiri

18d

That's my mom. "Oh I don't believe that" is just as valid as any facts in her book, more valid than opposing opinion facts. My dad on the other hand is almost entirely the opposite and they were both born the same year. I'm still not entirely certain how they ended up together

Astute_Primate

19d

Didn't you know? Only idiots are wrong.

1663_settler

19d

lol I love this place

Bibfor_tuna

19d

mental gymnastics doesn't cut it, they live in constant delusion

fastface147_

19d

Um that’s a trait of all generations regardless of when they were born. Blame the individual.

DimSumRulez

19d

My father is just like this and he's from the silent generation. It's an awful human personality trait that clearly isn't relegated to and possibly isn't even prevalent in Boomers. But it might be with all that lead paint. Who knows?

ScotchyMcSing

19d

Reminds me of a dialogue I had with my father, or as I like to call him, my mother‘s husband, just this last Sunday. Him: I bet your new dog loves looking out your windowed front door. Me: Our front door is solid, but there’s a window next to it. Him: Nope, your door has windows. My wife: It absolutely does not. Him: It does, but just along the bottom.

My mother, a boomer as well (but a good one), rolled her eyes so hard I think she sprained something.

homeboy511

19d

dealt with this all my life as a gen x

dj_soo

19d

narcissism

TucsonNaturist

19d

I think this is a personality issue, not a generational issue. To state this is a generational issue is a far reach. As you struggle in your efforts, maybe evaluate why you aren’t seeing success rather than lamenting the actions of your parents. A mirror always helps.

Important_Act_5704

19d

I wish I could help but my boomer Dad was the exact opposite.

tacosteve100

18d

My boomer mom say, “you might be right” LOL might be

twstwr20

18d

My FIL just... says things. Like if we are driving somewhere he will see something out the window and give us a "fact" about, completely making something up. Normally I just ignore it because it's not worth engaging. Occasionally I will challenge him, and go "Hey, FIL, I don't think that's accurate. Should we google it"

Him: "Oh, no that's not necessary...."

He can NEVER admit he is wrong about even the smallest thing.

redrosespud

18d

Lead poisoning

Immediate_Age

18d

They lack the ability to take personal inventory because they are all delusional after a lifetime of selfish living. They also fear accountability because they know they've created extra pain for people only for self-serving reasons.

mhdy98

18d

lmao i think boomer fathers have a lot in common than i thought, thanks for proving i'm not crazy

NerdyChick182

18d

I honestly feel like this is part of the reason why politics are so polarizing right now. We have a large group of boomers that don’t seem to want to listen to logic and are acting like crazies who know better than everyone.

the_esjay

18d

They’ve never been shown that it’s ok to make mistakes, or how to do so and just move on past it. It’s often due to having been punished as a child for things outside of their control. I hope we’re teaching kids now that it’s ok to get things wrong, and that everyone does it, and it’s not only fine but an important part of learning how to do something well.

dotdedo

18d

My mom is the most massive hypocrite in the world, even to saying she hates hypocites.

Here are some of my favorites.

She once heard a story on facebook with someone asking for help controlling their two dogs, one a toy breed and one a hunting breed. She turned to me and said "I hate people who own a small dog and a large dog together." At the time she owned a German Shepherd and a Havanese. Before that she owned a Lab and a Shiz-Tzu
Quitting smoking is easy and everyone should be able to do it. Except her. It's suddenly very difficult for her.
My video games are "sick" and "twisted" (Dragon Age, Fallout, Elder Scrolls, Stardew Valley, Pokemon, Animal Crossing) but she can't watch a tv show or movie unless someone is getting raped or murdered in it.
"Conversation is a two way street" being brought up any time you sway even a millimeter away from what SHE wants to talk about. If its a two way street why are you railroading it then?

BooshCrafter

16d

They're completely spineless and lack the strength to do simple things like apologize. It's embarrassing. Your average boomer is a complete failure of a human.