I’m starting to think my AuDHD brain is why losing weight has been such a struggle. Mostly due to food noise, and anxiety around exercise. Any tips? ❤️

Whew yeah there definitely seems to be a correlation between AuDHD and difficulty with weight, whether it's weight loss ("eats too much" AuDHDers) or weight gain ("forgets to eat" AuDHDers).

CW for EDs but yeah I've run the gamut between attempting full-out anorexia ("sadly" couldn't focus on it for long enough... but that's really a blessing), struggling with binge eating for years, going very deep & intense into calorie counting, literally tracking every bite on My Fitness Pal, convinced I would eat that way for the rest of my life... and then swinging entirely the other direction into intuitive eating where I gained a lot of weight. In a super weird place now where I sort of like my body more than ever (at least I treat it better with food and dressing nicely) but there's still this impulse in my mind that's like "maybeee you should lose 100 pounds"?? I also know that cortisol has played a huge role in my weight gain / loss, like even moreso than calories or any other habits. As in, whenever I'm unemployed or working <40 hour weeks I pretty much naturally lose a bunch of weight, and once I'm employed full-time again I gain it. Andddd I am not entirely sure what to do with that, because like... I need to make money??

At this point I'm trying to think about it as an overall mindset shift... like what kind of lifestyle do I actually WANT to have? I listed out a bunch of options almost for different "characters" in my head if that makes sense haha... Like "super intense businesswoman" would eat mostly salads unless she has a work dinner and then maybe she has the steak but she is also fierce about exercise, like 5 AM runs or maybe spin class on the weekends. And then like "hot party girl" stays out really late drinking and then goes to brunch with friends the next day, but I feel like somehow she also moderates, like because she goes so hard she knows she should have a salad for dinner, and maybe she doesn't really eat a lot during the week? But then "hippie girl" is going to have a pretty varied vegan diet, eating like Thai and Indian food and lots of fruits and veggies, she'll do things like meditation and yoga and long walks to keep up her health.

When I thought about the lifestyle habits I WANT versus what I HAVE... I kind of realized the gap... I think my diet was closest to my "emo girl" character, who basically eats fast food and instant noodles and doesn't exercise 😂 but I WANT to be "California surfer girl," who is somewhat close to hippie in that I feel like she's getting a lot of health foods, is just a little more flexible in terms of having the occasional hamburger or taco, and she also exercises a lot. And I realized "exercise" for me, when it's most meaningful, should feel like play... going out on hikes to see a new place or swimming / surfing (LOVE but don't live near the ocean right now), or even like skateboarding on the boardwalk with friends (idk how yet but it's like oh maybe I should learn?).

Idk if that makes any sense, but I've kind of been realizing like, if that lifestyle is really what I WANT then why am I not taking action towards it...? Obviously change is hard for us so I've been trying to integrate things little by little. Trying to eat a salad at least once a week and make a smoothie for breakfast sometimes and cook more plant-based / healthy meals... Trying to spend my mornings relaxed and finding time for exercise, and trying to find joy in that movement rather than treating it as an obligation... Again idk if my odd methods will work for others haha but it really got me thinking about how much of a gap there is... and if I could just integrate a better lifestyle with who I actually am maybe my weight will be more stable, or at least I could finally get to looking more in-shape, like I want to.