I can’t seem to get a handle on my life

Hi, I’m new here and I’m not sure where to start this. I’ve struggled with anxiety and depression my whole life, but no matter how much therapy or treatment I got, something was never fully right. Last year, I finally got an ADHD diagnosis, being honest, I never even considered the possibility. In high school I was high functioning, I didn’t struggle with the classes or the coursework, and my grades were always great. After the diagnosis however, let’s just say it was like someone turned the lights on and everything started to make a lot more sense. I’m in my third year of college studying electrical engineering, and I can’t just can’t seem to manage it. I love my college, and I love what I’m studying, but it always feels like I’m falling behind everyone around me. One day I can study and get good grades and be motivated to keep going. And the next I can barely muster enough energy to get up from bed, and don’t even consider opening a single textbook. I know that I have more difficulties than some people around me, but even when I see other AuDHD people, they all seem to have their symptoms and lives(?) under control, or more than I do at least.

I think I’m just ranting and I’m not even sure it makes sense. I just feel very lonely in this, because even if my loved ones understand and support me, I’m still alone fighting this? If you have any tips or suggestions, they are always welcome, and I guess thanks for reading (?)

in AuDHDWomenby ForsakenMacaroon9714

100%

21d

keypiew

21d

You are not a failure and I promise you that you are not alone. I know it is easier said than done, but don't compare yourself to other people. You never know what they struggle with in their lives. Many of us late diagnosed with AuDHD are high masking. We may seem to have our shit together, when we in reality don't. You can never see what is going on in other peoples minds or behind closed doors. College studies are hard. Especially when dealing with executive dysfunction. You have just gotten your diagnosis. With time you will learn more about yourself and find helpful strategies and accomodations to manage your symptoms.

Some people with AuDHD have their lives and symptoms under control, but it may have taken a lot of work and the right kind of support to get there.

Are you on medication for your ADHD?

arcanotte

20d

My friend, I have known several people, audhd and not, and 0% of them have their lives together all the way.

The stuff that comes easy to many neurotypical people can be very hard for us, like getting out of bed. I am a whole-ass adult with a full-time academic job, and I am currently not getting out of bed because I Simply Cannot. It's OK.

But things that come easily to us can be very difficult for others, too. I bet you love what you're learning because the body of knowledge is enormous and evolving, and you can see the trends and patterns in the field very clearly. A lot of people buckle under that, but not you.

Your brain is doing big things as a student. Be gentle to you 💓

eyes_on_the_sky

20d

even when I see other AuDHD people, they all seem to have their symptoms and lives(?) under control

I promise you, we do not 💜 I made it all the way through law school & the bar exam with undiagnosed AuDHD... and then I burned out, hard. Barely able to work for the last ~2 years, many days spent in bed doing nothing. No one had empathy because they "didn't understand" why I was suddenly "being so lazy." Turns out I had been running beyond my actual capacity for years and years, and it had just finally caught up with me.

Those that seem to "have it together" (in a way approaching neurotypical standards) are likely overextending themselves and it will catch up to them later. If you are AuDHD, you may always have to do things a bit differently than the neurotypical standard... I firmly believe that doesn't mean you will always have to struggle, though. Accepting I fit with the label and hearing advice from others has been a big help for me in designing systems that better manage my life. Oh, and learning to rest and treat yourself kindly will do wonders, especially after a lifetime of feeling like we are never doing enough. 💜