Which animal is way more dangerous than humans assume it is?
Came here to say this. Cows will fuck you up if you're not careful, and not even on purpose. An animal that size and with that little spacial awareness can deal some serious damage just by existing in close proximity to you. Gotta pay attention around them big beasties.
One of our neighboring farmers got partially pinned between his livestock trailer and a heifer. When she moved it broke his ribs on one side and pulled his arm out of the socket, tearing most of the tendons and ligaments.
I audibly winced reading this.
This shit is precisely why I maintain a healthy fear of cows. I love them, but I don't mess with them.
DID YOU KNOW IF YOU WASH AND BLOWDRY THEM THEIR FUR IS FLUFFY!!!!!?!
Brb off to coif a cow
Cousins had one with unreal spatial awareness. She’d know just when you were walking by and press you against the boards
They act like puppies if they've been socialized, too. They will try to lay on you for cuddles or slam you against things for scratches.
They ARE giant puppies and they'll follow you around just because they want to know what you're up to. I friggin love cows, but they're so unaware of how fragile a human is and how heavy they are lol.
I remember I was like five and got chased by one through a field. I was lucky my mom’s friend’s son was there to yoink me out
If a cow ever got the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about!
Bad 50's sci-fi music intensifies
Theremin enters the chat
But grandpa said that all the cows were girls.
I grew up around cows. You learn to look out for signs of when a cow is scared or aggressive. Their pretty passive most of the time and ones used for shows can be almost like dogs but dumber. Number one rule around cows is never get between a mother cow and her calf.
I think that would apply to any large animal
How do the mothers get comfortable being away from calves as they grow older?
It's more of an instinct thing for them. Once the calf is out of sight it's out of mind. Cows are not the brightest creatures.
Indeed. They know you’ve eaten their cousins.
Well I am from India so ofc there are cows everywhere on the street(Jk, only in small towns) I was taking a stroll with my brother when someone shouted at us from the back, I turned to see and this cow was coming charging at us with full speed , I pulled my brother to the side and the cow went ahead... Damn was that a blood pressure raising experience
I literally have such a fear of cows because I was chased by a herd as a kid.
Deer. Sure, they can look pretty and innocent, but they have horns pointy bits and sharp hooves and know how to use them.
When the deer wander into my yard to eat my garden I chuck things at them from a safe distance.
Used to work at the Johnson Space Center, which has a sizeable deer population. In the spring, the female deer will leave their babies in the area we called Central Mall, which has three ponds and lots of safe grassy areas among the various walking trails between office buildings.
Anyway, at a certain point over a decade ago when I was there, we actually had to have security guard the baby deer during the day because the idiot office workers had started coming out and picking them up, cuddling with them and taking pictures and shit. There were several very close calls before security got involved because they couldn't fathom that mama deer would fuck them up six ways to Sunday if they got between her and the baby. They just didn't believe us because they were 'just deer".
I politely suggested to security that maybe they should let one get a few licks in on one of the office workers so people would get the point, but they wouldn't do it.
*antlers
I lived in Tanzania and had a friend who's buddy was killed by a Dik Dik, which are small antelope only about a foot or so in height. He was drunk and went over to it, and it spooked and jumped at him and caught him in the wrong place with its 3-inch antlers.
Due to idiots that want to hunt but can't take on a full size deer there is a sizeable wild Dik Dik population in Texas, and they're assholes!
You know what? Good for them. If someone kidnapped me from my native habitat and dropped me in Texas so some fuckwad holding up a belt buckle the size of a license plate to hide their tiny dick could hunt my ass with a high powered scoped rifle, I'd be a fuckin' asshole, too.
And cause car accidents that kill 150 people in the US annually.
No way that number is right. It has to be way higher. Around 2.1 million deer-vehicle collisions occur annually according to CNN.
Small deer usually fly over the car on direct hits. They cause a shit ton of damage, but not as lethal to the driver as a moose or an elk
I mean.... they really aren't dangerous and aren't gonna attack you though. Maybe if you somehow cornered one it might try to kick you or get you with the antlers. But it's still going to try to run at first chance.
The only real danger is when there's a larger population near a highway. That's a real issue
Two of the old neighborhoods I've lived in are huge and old and were built back into what were once heavily wooded areas - chock full of deer. This time of year I see at least 2 or 3 just out grazing lawn on the side of the road every time I go for a walk. They're super used to people and you mostly only see the does and younger deer, but I still act respectful and stay on my side of the road and if there are fawns, I give everybody a hella wide berth or go the other way. I do not want that scene from Tommy Boy played out on top of my head by a protective mama deer, thank you very much.
Fyi, in keeping with the actual theme here, if you have a dog and you're ever out and run into a deer, grab your dog and get the hell out of there if you can. Do not let them near that deer, they can and will kick dogs and other animals to death, all it takes is one sharp-hoofed blow to the head or ribs.
Chimps (common variety).
Only other animal besides humans documented to engage in physical torture of their own kind for sadistic pleasure.
Ironically even though they are bigger in size, Gorillas are a lot more docile.
Oh yeah, I'd rather get mauled by just about anything else. Chimps will rip off your face, genitals, fingers and tongue then just leave you to bleed out REALLY slow.
Chimpanzees are also hella stronger than a human. An average sized male chimp is strong enough to literally pull a human apart, limb for limb.
Yes I agree. I saw the movie 'Nope'. But in all seriousness, I remember the story of a woman who owned a chimp. A friend of hers came for a visit and the chimp literally ripped her face off.
And because that story isn't fucked up enough.
The owner of that chimp gave the chimp xanax for the first time, before the chimp ripped off her friend's face.
Just like humans, chimpanzees get disinhibited by bensodiazepines. This is why bank robbers often take bensos to be able to kill people from a few feet away.
Damn! I remember this when it was in the news but I’d never heard the Xanax part before.
Chimps instinctively go for the face and genitals.
and fingers
they literally are not. Pound for pound they are about 1.35 times stronger, but weight less than humans so overall they are actually slightly weaker. The misconception comes from the fact that they often are brutal with people/animals they have already defeated. Many animals mutilate their opponents, We humans are also capable of doing this, we just like... usually dont bite someones face/genitalia
A quick look through the available research suggests you're right.
I don't know anyone who thinks chimps aren't dangerous
I went down a chimp rabbit hole and came across that each zoo has a kill list. Like if animals got out, which would you to wrangle back in, catch, or kill. Chimps are dangerous because they will go and release other chimps. The kill list included chimps, polar bears and Cassowaries. Cassowaries are their own rabbit hole, sort of like murder chickens. Fascinating and I was shocked they had these lists, which makes sense.
Monkeys and apes in general, man. They'll rip/bite off your nose, your ears, tour eyelids, tour scalp, your fingers, and all just in the way a cat would give you a scratch to tell you to leave them alone.
We are closely related.
Yeah! Only one letter separates them from us chumps.
I thought everyone already knew that chimps are one of the most aggressive and dangerous animals.
Moose
THIS. I grew up in moose country. They’re massive and should never be approached. They’re even more dangerous when you’re driving. They love standing in the middle of the road, and aren’t easily scared by honking. They’re about the perfect height to smash through your windshield and suddenly there’s a 1,000 lb animal in your lap.
And moose are a lot darker than deer, so despite their towering size it's actually really hard to see them on a dark road at night
Hard to see them on a well lit road during the day... they're remarkably well camouflaged
Mynd you, møøse bites Kan be pretty nasti...
My sister was bit by a moose once
You have been sacked
And there was much rejoicing
Elg kan bite like mye som de kan drite!
And Whitetail deer. That cute little doe in your backyard can fuck you up.
I live in Alaska and I spend a lot more time worrying about moose than bears. Bears have brains and can assess if something is a threat or not (usually). Moose just … react. Prey animals without stereoscopic vision. Was charged by moose three times in the last six months at my local dog park.
True, but the vast majority of times they will just walk or trot away from you. That rare time they attack, however, you are probably screwed.
Many much moosen
Koalas and Sloths. Their claws are deadly.
What if I already have it?
From me 😉
Unless you’re planning to become blood brothers with a Koala or you’re gonna commit several animal rights violations, you’ll be STI free
I feel like sloths specifically should be seen as more dangerous than they are. Those are the closest extant relatives of megatherium with claws to match.
Anteaters too. Just like megatherium likely did, they walk on their knuckles leaving their upsettingly large claws as sharp as they need to be.
Bison.
Lots of European tourists get yeeted at Yellowstone each year, after getting out of the cars and trying to take selfies with them.
A lot of people seem to think they're docile, when they're anything but.
Ironically, European bisons are bigger, but there's so few of them left it's unlikely any European tourist ever saw one up close
TIL there were European Bison.
The article I read said the number of European bison dropped to 12 after WWI. There had been 600 in Poland, but German soldiers killed almost all of them.
As of 2017, the number was back up to around 600, but they are more spread out and hopefully the geographic diversity will protect them against local shocks.
Last I read there were a decent number in Ukraine... hopefully still fine. Also the UK shipped in a couple, and one turned out to already be pregnant.
Don't fuck with one of the two living species of North American megafauna.
Don't fuck with either really
A lot of ranchers tried raising them because it pays more than beef cattle. It actually caused a lot of accidents because they are much more dangerous than people expect. Beef cattle can be dangerous, but bison are so much worse than cattle that have domesticated for thousands of years.
Yeah there was a big push to make bison burgers a thing in the early aughts. Now that I think of it that’s definitely fallen off a bit.
Oh yeah, that was a popular fad. Supposedly more healthy, but I think the real driver was people pretending to be daring. Just like emu and all the rest.
Not just Europeans. I watched a large number of Americans putting their kids next to calves trying to get pictures. I left to get a ranger (no cell service where we were). I could not comprehend the ignorance I was seeing.
Mosquitos.
Killer of humans #1 in the animal kingdom.
They kill about a million people a year and are estimated to have killed about 40% of all of the humans to ever live. They are way more dangerous than they seem like they should be.
Do you have a source on that 40% thing? I googled and nothing is coming up.
Can I just say that this comment is exactly why I am so happy to have finally discovered Reddit bc OMG people actually fact check and that makes me so happy 😄
(Not everyone, obvs. But way more than any other social media platform I've ever spent time on)
bc OMG people actually fact
You gonna find out real soon that they don't
Now for a really Reddit response…
Click here to join my OnlyFacts 😈🔥😘
Can we get a source on this being the reason why you're happy you discovered reddit?
Googled it and nothing came up
You read it on the internet so it must be true 😊
A mean rooster will fuck you up. They have these sharp spurs on their legs. Catches a lot of people by surprise because roosters are very docile when they are young. Also, when you buy eggs to hatch, you will get some roosters even if it is hens you want. So people get roosters even though they are not really into roosters. Then one day the rooster attacks.
Yes. Make sure you're not buying "straight run". Pay the 10c extra per chick to get pullets. You'll still get maybe a roo per 15.
To be fair, I'd let my rooster "win" sometimes when he would fend me off from the hens. Other times id pick him up and cuddle him (likewise with the geese) because I figure for machines of hate, love is probably the worst thing alive.
Roosters can successfully protect their flock from predators like hawks, and coyotes, which they fight to the death if necessary.
I love roosters, but it was also my answer to this thread! We’ve had a few, and they can be such glorious bastards. But the second one gets aggressive, off they go. But when they’re good, they’re amazing. Non-aggressive, keeps the girls safe from hawks and other predators.
We have one now, but he’s my lap rooster, a Serama who weighs less than 2 pounds.
Roosters are mean bastards for sure
Dogs have a kill score going from 10k to 35k humans a year.
Cows: "Those are rookie numbers, you gotta pump those numbers up"
Let's talk Dachshunds! Generally renowned as being adorable and goofy looking. But they are statistically the most aggressive dog breed. Thankfully, they were bred to hunt rodents, not humans, but those little ankle biters can still do some damage when they want!
My dachshund does NOT know she's a little dog. She would seriously eff you up if she could. We have a 150lbs St Bernard and a 165lbs English Mastiff and even they know the dachshund is in charge.
Hahaha, I can only imagine! I have a chiweenie, and he has all the aggression of a dachshund and all the small dog insecurity of a chihuahua... makes him a very lovely dog to the small group of people he knows and loves, and very difficult with anyone who isn't in that circle!
The more we come into contact with an animal, the higher its kill count will be. There's a reason cows kill more people than sharks and it's not that cows are more dangerous.
According to the CDC, between 2011 and 2021 there were only 468 dog related deaths I have no idea where you're getting 10,000 or 35,000.
Kangaroos
Their kick will fuck you up
Yeah and they’re like two people tall
And they're fucking SHREDDED. Take at any media that is not specifically aimed at making them apper cute and suddenly they look like a rabbit had a threesome with Dwayne Johnson and Wolverine.
🤣🤣🤣 😰😰😰
Kangaroos really are underestimated when it comes to danger. I see so many people think they're cute and want them as a pet and they have no idea.
Yeah!!
Mosquitos 750,000
Humans (homicide) - 450,000
Snakes 100,000
Dogs 35,000
Tsetse flies 20,000
Assassin bugs 12,000 (Chagas disease)
Freshwater snails 10,000 (parasitic worms)
Scorpions 3,250
Ascaris roundworms 2,500
Tapeworms
Crocodiles 1,000
Hippos 500
Elephants 500
Lions 22
Wolves 10
Thats a list made by a spider.
Cool list.
What is the tapeworm kill count?
Between 1,000 and 2,500 I would assume.
Per what? In what area?
Probably on Earth, per year.
If you are counting mosquitos at 750,000 because they spread malaira, you need to count humans for spreading influenza in addition to homicide right?
I've seen this list posted before and no one has been able to substantiate the numbers.
The number of snake and crocodile kills look way too high.
Looking at just crocodiles, I've followed the links in the Wikipedia references and there is no data. Just "estimations" from defunct websites that had no data either.
"perhaps 150 attacks occurring in Namibia on a mixture of humans and cattle (Murphy 2007 cit. Lamarque et al. 2009)." -http://www.crocodile-attack.info/node/4299 use the way back machine
So 150 attacks on a mixture of humans and cattle in one country and they extrapolate that into 1,000 human fatalities a year world wide?
The Wikipedia article can't even keep the numbers straight either. It states that there are an estimated 1,000 people a year killed by crocs, but there are only hundreds of attacks a year and only 25% of attacks are fatal. There would need to be 4,000 attacks a year at a 25% fatality rate to get to 1,000 a year.
Chicken - you have to cook them before you eat them.
When I last tried to subdue one, a whole flock of them came out of nowhere and attacked me
Ticks
Horses. DO NOT fuck with a horse. They can fuck you up with a single good kick to the head.
Can confirm. I worked as a tech in a hospital that served a large rural community, and the neurology ICU almost always had at least one patient who was at the receiving end of a horse's anger.
If they made it at all, they usually sustained significant and permanent damage.
All of them. Most creatures really want to live and will do anything to survive. A scared animal will bite, tear, gouge, growl, and spit all at the same time. It’s sometimes enough to save them.
Except a manatee. Manatees can't bite humans.
Beavers can be more dangerous than you’d think. They have sharp teeth and strong jaws that can seriously hurt you if they feel threatened. Plus, their dams can cause flooding, leading to other problems for people.
Their dams are ecologically critical. Maybe people should stop being so fucking stupid and shortsighted with “their” land.
Statistically, in North America, the animal most likely to kill you is your own family dog(s).
The only animal to ever kill someone at my city’s zoo was a camel. It stampeded years ago and the person was trampled
You might not think it, but hippos are actually incredibly dangerous! Despite their seemingly docile appearance, they're aggressive and can outrun humans on land. Definitely not a creature to mess with in their territory!
People dont think this? Have they never watched a jumanji film?
This is the "nobody knows" fact that literally everyone knows. Any time any question about dangerous animals comes up someone mentions hippos. Its the new "peasants used to eat lobster" line.
Mix em together and peasants used to eat hippos
It’s sad seeing reddit being taken over by AI.
i never knew this until i watched a documentary on hippos. holy shit, i def will be avoiding them like the plague
Dolphins
In what context? Do dolphins regularly attack and kill people?
They spread anti-vax propaganda.
Snails can contain dangerous parasites.
They're extra dangerous if you're immortal.
The platypus. It looks cute and harmless but it's pretty bizarre. I mean it's got a duck's bill, lays eggs, and some of the males have venomous spurs on their legs.
And they'll ruin your plans to take over the entire tri-state area.
Well the laying eggs part is only weird together with them having mammary glands
Also fur, not feathers.
If I remember right, the venom is serious fuck your shit up piss your pants stuff, too.
Dogs
Goose
Geese make a beeline for the crotch.
Fucking dicks! And swans are worse because they're so territorial and know they're pretty, but at least they aren't in packs.
Canada geese chase and hiss together.
They swarm!
I once braked for a line of geese and tapped my horn. For some reason I thought the last one would get out of the way seeing a big machine make noise in its direction.
Nope. It just stood tall, spread out its wings, and hissed at my car. I wound up going around it since the road was mostly clear anyway.
Cobra chickens. I still remember the horrors of the 1987 Canada Day Canada Goose uprising when I was just a kid.
Those little octopus with the cute blue rings
Pigs. They’re omnivores and will eat pretty much anything, including people. My dad used to spend his summers in rural Iowa helping his relatives out on their farm, and he knew of a guy who worked at a nearby pig farm who fell unconscious one day while working in one of the pens (I believe due to improper ventilation). Since he was incapacitated, he couldn’t fight the pigs off and they pretty much ended up eating him. Serial killer Robert Pickton was known to feed the bodies of his victims to his pigs, as they’ll eat everything including the bones.
Hamsters.
Cutest homicidal creatures
Raccoons look cute and fluffy, but they can mess you up and also carry rabies
Hippos. They look cute but are super aggressive and fast!
Bunny Rabbits — source Monty Python
Small dogs.
People regularly violate dogs' boundaries and refuse to read their body language, and then wonder why chihuahuas and Pomeranians get bitey.
Do people not know bears are dangerous? 😂
Took me a sec to understand you meant bears when you started talking about black ones and brown ones and white ones in the second paragraph, not dudes
Low hanging fruit
Elephants
Hippo
Meerkats
Children!
Donkeys. They'll fuck you up. Even the mini ones....
Bison. The amount of people I see in videos just walking up to them is scary.
Chupacabra
The European lynx. Because lynxes hunt deer that are 5 times bigger than themselves
Macaws. Those bastards could rip your finger off and not even blink. And you never know if they will “play bite” or chomp the shit out of you.
I hear it's the koala.
Male Platypi are poisonous.
Hippo. They're the deadliest large land mammal. Even crocodiles stay away from hippos because they know, despite their goofy appearance, the hippo is one mean, tough motherfucker.
Your friendly family dog...
I'm not talking pitbull here...
I'm talking about the friendly, gentle, cuddly polar bear.... The Great Pyrenees... looks like the friendliest dog on earth. Every single kid wants to pet and hug him... Ever kids that are scared of dogs go and hug him...
But if you ever seen one really pissed off. You would understand how little chance you have at surviving...
It's a really, REALLY good thing that we have bred for more than a MILLENIA to be friendly to humans...
So yeah, always funny to see parents not one bit bothered about their kids rushing that polar bear they have never seen before... If the only knew the power in that beast.
BTW, best dogs ever... if you would only stop borking!
Something like 50% of cat scratches can cause infection. Makes sense when you realize they paw at a shit bucket after they poop. Still love mine, just makes me way less inclined to play with the toe beans.
Baboons. They ripped a kid’s intestines out apparently
The box jellyfish is often underestimated in its danger.. Despite its delicate appearance, its venom is one of the most potent in the world, capable of causing severe reactions and even death in humans. Respect for its habitat and caution around coastal waters are crucial.
Bears. Eat their "victims" while crippled and alive.
Dogs. People have became crippled and disfigured.
Cats. Tetanus.
Everyone knows bears are dangerous though. I get that there are cute bear videos on YouTube and stuff but they have to know they’re dangerous right?
Politicians & Preachers...the worst kind of underestimated predators.
Cows