You knew everything at 17? A persons not legally an adult until their 18
I’ve learned from mistakes I made as a teenager, and in life, but kids are stupid and I’m not going to Judge the actions of a teen the same way I would an adult. I remember how dumb I was as a teen.
Edit - not to mention if your a teen dating an adult “for no good reasons” than generally there’s something going on there whether it’s an unstable Home life or psychological issues.
At what age is a person 100 percent accountable for their actions and can’t “blame” their decision on the factors that shaped them?
Are you just some creep who dates kids and feels singled out. Probably.
We don't know everything at 17. Hell, I don't even know everything at 39. But I do know that I was old enough to make my own choices.
If a 14 year old steals something, is the response "oh, they're not legally an adult. They don't know any better". Of course not. They know what they are doing and know it's illegal.
Just because you weren't legally an adult at 17, doesn't mean you can pass the blame off to someone else when you made a conscious decision to do something that you now regret. That is victim blaming. Take some responsibility. Like an adult.
You made an adult decision at 17. You can't say "I was a child. I didn't know better". If you truly didn't, you wouldn't have done it.
The whole reason we have a distinction between adults and children is that children don't have the reasoning developed to make good decisions. A teenager literally does not have the brain function yet to figure out that they're being groomed and they're not special and that they're being preyed on by a predator.
It's pretty creepy that you're taking the side of the pedos on this one, you might want to rethink this stance
Edit lmao what the fuck is this
Just because you weren't legally an adult at 17, doesn't mean you can pass the blame off to someone else when you made a conscious decision to do something that you now regret. That is victim blaming. Take some responsibility. Like an adult.
Youre saying the teenager is victim blaming the adult for taking advantage of them? What?
Thanks Friend ❤️
Youre saying the teenager is victim blaming the adult for taking advantage of them? What?
Did the adult take advantage of the teenager? Remember, you don't know anything about this relationship. So if you answer is automatically "yes", then you are assuming.
The answer by definition is yes.
By definition? Lol I'm not that one that needs a dictionary now, dude.
That is completely sensationalist and over dramatic. A pedo is someone that is interested in children between the ages is 10 and 13. In no way that is happening here. So truly to create drama.
I think you should further understand the terms "grooming" and "pedo" before using them. They are very serious terms with serious connotations behind them. You're using them as quips.
At 17, I would argue that we start to figure some things out of our own accord. There is no talk of any illegal activity here. You are just assuming that because there's an age gap then there "must" have been an power dynamic that was taken advantage of.
At 17, you are old enough to make your own decisions like drive, get a job, choose who you want to date and/be friends with. If you regret these decisions, don't play the victim. Play the adult.
You're the one trying to use the term victim blaming while simultaneously insisting that nothing bad happened... I think you might need a dictionary here yourself.
Dating a high schooler in your 20s is creepy no matter what the letter of the law says. This is like when transformers awkwardly decided to explain Romeo and Juliet laws in the middle of the movie... If you have to try this hard to justify the age of consent and how totally not creepy your relationship is, that means it's inappropriate
Ok, what if the age of consent was 17? Is it still bad?
Dating a high-schooler is creepy to you. It's not something I'd do personally, but I've known high school relationships where one party was 21 and the other 18 and they're now married with 2 kids.
Like I said in my other reply, If you're doing this level of mental gymnastics to justify your relationship... It's probably not appropriate.
Answer my question. If the age of consent was 17, is it still bad to date a 22 year old?
Like I said in my other reply, If you're doing this level of mental gymnastics to justify your relationship... It's probably not appropriate.
Again, if you're the kind of person that really knows in depth what the age of consent laws are, that says an awful lot about you.
To "answer the question" ... Yes, it is bad. The reality of the legal system and the law is that we have to draw an arbitrary line somewhere, but coming right up to that line and bragging about how you didn't go over it is not something to be proud of and it's pretty gross. Be better than the bare minimum.
So in other words, you only have an issue with it because if they engaged in sexual activity, it'd be illegal. And now you're trying to tell me that brains aren't fully developed and that's the issue also.
A brain isn't fully developed until sometime in the mid 20s. But I hear no mention of this from the 22 yr old's perspective.
The age of consent laws where I live are 16. And no one would go on a tirade like you just did spouting age of consent and how it's "taking advantage of sometime by definition".
The truth is, you think there's a power dynamic and the problem here is that you've assumed that any age gap with someone "under the legal age" if being exploited by this part dynamic.
I'm here to tell you that not all age gaps are a result of grooming or exploitation.
My parents have a 20 year age gap. They met when they were 19 and 39. They married at 24 and 44. They've been together 30 years and have 3 kids. I bet if I didn't tell you about their 30yr marriage, you'd just LOVE to sink your opinion into this, hey. But I guess in your mind, he still groomed her?
I was wondering where your personal connection to this was coming from. It makes a lot of sense that you think this kind of behavior is okay when you grew up in it.
It's pretty pointless to keep going in circles on this, you're legally free to hang around all the playgrounds you want. We're just legally free to think you're sketchy while you do it.
My personal connection has been influenced, yes. But realistically, I'm a believer of innocent until proven guilty. I've seen so many relationships with age gaps work well. More so than ones that do not. We just have to be accepting of other people's choices. Doing this makes us decent people. It's the right thing to do, not being judgemental.
My close make is dating someone with a 10 year age gap. It's remarkable how so many people instantly jump on the "you're grooming her" bandwagon without knowing anything about it. SHE'S the older one lol. Not him. But people still assume.
It's the ignorance I'm against. The idea that if there's an age gap, or if she was 18 and he was 24 then it must be grooming and pedophilia or something. That's just do incredibly ignorant. It's not considered grooming if the gender roles are reversed..
Anyway, I digress.
17 year old are not adults though, and for good reason. I remember being 17 thinking I know everything, and I also remember being 21 and while I didn't know everything (and still don't), there was a big difference in those 4 years. From your childhood to early 20s, every year makes a difference. A year difference between a 16 year old and 18 year old is already a noticeable difference, no matter how 'mature you are for your age', your brain would be more mature in another year, that's a biological fact for those ages. By your early 20s your brain is significantly more developed, but still not all the way done. It's why most people find it weird for people to date someone more than a few years younger or older than themselves even when they're in their early 20s (usually more leeway on dating a few years older since the younger people are more susceptible to being taken advantage of since they aren't at the same stage of mental development). By 25, some people's brains are pretty much done growing, and most people's are mostly complete, so people are less worried about them being groomed (and you definitely can be groomed even as an adult, there's certain methods used to groom people from sexual exploitation to terrorism). The phrase you used 'play the adult' is such a funny way of saying it, because that's exactly what you would be doing if you were 17 acting as if you were an adult: playing at being an adult. Even 18 and 19 year olds still have struggles to adapt to adulthood at their legally an adult age. It's just delusional to think the mental development level of a 17 year old and 21 year old are on par with each other, unless the 21 year old has a physiological disorder which stalls their brain development. I even dated a 19 year old when I was 22, (at his insistence not mine) and the immaturity showed even though he told me himself that he had to deal with way more adult situations and responsibilities earlier on in life than I ever had. There's no replacement for time in terms of brain development from minor to fully grown brain.