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Single and depressed but not depressed because I’m single, though it somewhat plays a part.
I completely relate. Sometimes I like to fuck a grapefruit and I feel much better.
Now that’s a creative way to give your life some zest
Like there's constantly a fog and a 20 lb weight on ever part of your body.
It's kind of like roleplaying as a cancerous tumour
If only you knew
You wake up, think "damn, I woke up again", spend about an hour trying to convince yourself to get out of bed, begin the first wave of suicidal thoughts, lay there for a while and think about every single thing you hate about life, eventually drag your ass to work, sit in your office by yourself doing nothing all day, go home, eat, get high, think even harder about how much you hate living, cry and sleep for about 12+ hours.
You wake up and take your pills and remember that you need those to function. You try to give people space and do everything you can to gain their trust. To get in an ongoing conversation, you will talk about your own anecdotes and other examples of how you can relate to what people say, and then you realize that's narcissistic and egocentric.
You always have something to be anxious about and something you want to work on to be the best version if yourself, but you end up being self-serving, since your main concern is yourself. Hence you need to prioritize your work on your empathy.
When you want to realize a project (from getting Spanish class to triathlons to just go out somewhere), you just go for it, you don't procrastinate.
You don't want to "waste" your time with the first learning steps, you want to be the best at it too fast.
You need people to validate your decisions before you make them. You hate conflict, you just want to get out of it even if it means to stand up for yourself. You just can't let things go, so annoying.
But you try to be kind with people, not judgmental and you give very good hugs.
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1mo
You need some better rope.
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1mo
Lol. This is r/AskReddit, not your personal powder room.
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1mo
I really can’t be asked with that.
As it is, I am currently browsing askreddit on “new” setting and therefore it is rather easy to notice repeat commenters.
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1mo
And that’s why we’re best friends ;)
Depressing
I’m sorry to hear that. Keep your head up! My inbox is open should you need someone to talk to.
Thanks 🙏
i'd say interesting
Embarrassing
I look healthy on the outside but I'm crawling with decay on the inside.
I got healthy for the first time in my life at like 33 years old and almost immediately contracted an std that made me wretched and sick again.
Every time I meet people they comment about how great I look. They can't see the fact that my sinus is a rotted out abyss of decay and the gallons of mucous I swallow each day.
But I'm ok.
Boring and tiresome...
Hard to truly be happy
Misunderstood, lonely, calm, autistic and body is broken due to Rugby.
Angry and vengeful
Not too bad to be honest.
Complicated af
Throwaway account for obvious reasons.
24yos, addicted to both shooting heroin and smoking crack cocaine. You just had almost a year clean-which also was the longest period of sobriety you’ve ever had-but you relapsed about a month ago. The first week you told yourself everyday “NO! NO! You’re not going back down this path! Tomorrow you aren’t going to do anything!” Now 3 weeks later you’re back addicted to the shit, doing it everyday. You’re lying to your family, and your new girlfriend (more on her later) to get money everyday. You did have a pretty decent job making the most money you’ve ever made working before, but you stopped going bc you could not work dope sick. You just got your drivers license back after being suspended for close to 7 years, but with that you also have breathalyzer (ignition interlock device) from your multiple DUIs you got before you were even able to legally drink. You’re all paid up on the biweekly payment for it till next week but after that you’re unsure what you’re going to do. You also didn’t pay your insurance for this month and now it’s shut off. Be on probation in two separate counties, but you don’t have to check in anymore as you’ve been on it for so long, they switched both to “administrative probation” meaning you only have to keep your fine payments up to date to stay out of jail. You’ve been doing good so far with that, but you haven’t made a payment for the month of April. With regards to your family, your family doesn’t know you quit your job and you live with your grandparents. So every day you wake up at 630, leave your house and find somewhere to sleep in your car for a couple hours to make it seem like you went to work. You’ve also been borrowing money off them and your dad every couple of days with the promise of paying them back on Friday when you get paid. You’ve paid them every other time so they don’t second guess it. You’ll receive your final paycheck on Friday and it’s not going to be more than $200. You also have a 3yo daughter who comes over every weekend. You just borrowed $42 out of her piggy bank yesterday because you were dope sick. She doesn’t live with you, or her mother because you both are addicts. So she lives with her grandma during the week and then great grandparents and you on weekends. You feel like a failure and are full of shame, regret, and self hatred because you’ve been in and out of her life since she was born. Tells you all the time “Im glad you’re not sick anymore daddy and you can spend time with me now.” You have a new girlfriend now that you’ve been seeing for about 3 months now. This is the best relationship you’ve ever been in and you feel more loved and safe with her than you felt with you baby mom over 5 years. You did move in with new girlfriend for about a month until you overdosed and die in her bathroom and had to take a trip in the wee-woo vehicle to be brought back to life. You’re still with her but you’re on thin ice because she’s also a recovering addict but she has 3 years clean. She doesn’t want to go back to having the life you’re currently living. You’re understanding of her point of view and don’t hold any resentment toward her. She thinks you’re on maintenance (suboxone) but you keep putting it off and procrastinating. 3 days ago you tried to intentionally OD but failed. Also to make matters more difficult on yourself you no longer have any contact with your old drug dealers, so you had to find new ones. You owe both of the two small amounts of money, but you have no way to pay it. What comes first, paying your drug dealers the money you owe them or using the only money you have to try and buy more drugs? You can’t go to rehab because if you do you’re going to lose the supervised custody you have with your daughter, you’ll get kicked out of where you live. You will lose the small amount of trust you’ve gain back with your family. You’re extremely stressed out and depressed. You’ve basically destroyed your arms, legs, back, chest, and face picking yourself. Your sleep schedule consists of getting 3-5 hours of sleep a night. You eat maybe one real meal a day. You hate the fact you did this to yourself yet again. Everyday is a struggle and you highly considered the idea of offing yourself daily.
Being me is like having a library card for the whole universe, but occasionally the books whisper back
I got a mom that loves me and a dad who uses me to as a tool to try and upset her. I got atomach problems and share a bathroom with three older stepsisters. Im pretty sure Im gay but not ready to tell anybody. My best friend is a girl who pretends to be my gf to keep my parents in the dark for longer. But i have my room. Im getting along better with my stepdad. Schools out in 2 months. So like 7.5/10
It’s like being an unpaid therapist
Pretty weird
Clam and peaceful
would not wish upon my worst enemy
A constant feeling that I'm about to explode and crash out
The one person that I'm always with is the one person I hate the most. Always in my head telling me how shit I am and taking joy in the bad things that happen to me.
Lonely
Boring
Living my life 24/7 always sick with colds/flus while having agoraphobia
a series of unfortunate events
Single
Lonely
Overweight
Has asthma
I'm ready to die
Very boring. I literally just play video games and watch tv. The last time I hung out with somone was months ago
Well it seems like people kinda dislike me for no reason and it’s hard for me to meet good genuine people so idk 🤷🏽♀️ it can get complicated being me!
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1mo
I’m sure you’re pretty awesome yourself
I’d like to say exhausting but thats not where it starts. I over analyze every situation, over analyze every person I meet. I want to understand, I want to question almost everything. I have expectations, For myself but my expectations are also more about not failing the people around me and holding myself to that standard, Then becomes the expectation I’ve set on myself.
When I fail myself and others, It is a downward spiral. Some people they can pat themselves on the back, try again. Me, I corner myself tell myself I’m a piece of shit, That I am worthless. Maybe I don’t tell myself that, But i sure as hell feel the weight of it all, and maybe it will take 2 or 3 weeks until i feel like maybe i can try again but till then I cower and deny myself from looking at myself by keeping quiet.
And you know the people around know I am of good faith cause when I fail, they don’t even know that to me it is failure, I kind of just always smile, I talk to them warmly lovingly, I don’t even share what’s really going on. I don’t want anyone to see how hard my failures towards them and myself have damaged me.
I rather the people I love know me for the times when someone broken my heart again, Because people come and go.
Compared to them knowing, I am failing school, That I have lost my motivation, That I have not honored myself as of lately. That i want to sell it all some days run away, change my name and forget about it all.
Being me, Is I wouldn’t wish my human condition on anyone.
I want you to do me a favor and remember that you’re only human. You’re not perfect. You will fall short but that’s okay. Keep going because you’re worth it. One day it will all make sense.
it’s a vibe i guess
Hell yea I can dig it
Hopelessness.
Sad a alot but actually lowkey chill
Would not recommend