AITBF for receiving a letter intended for my landlord?

Serious

Hi! A little bit of context - My landlord moved to another country, and he rented out his place to me.

Today, I got a letter from a bank addressed to him, so I asked the mailman to wait and called up my landlord to ask him if I should receive the letter on his behalf. He never picked up the phone, so I signed for the letter and collected it.

I mentioned this to my dad, and he started screaming at me. He told me that I was an asshole for collecting someone else's bank letters and that it could cause me legal issues since I signed for it.

A few hours later, my landlord called me, and he told me he was fine with me receiving his letter and that he would pick it up when he came back to the country. So am I the Buttface?

in AmItheButtfaceby DDipu

164

95%

1.5y

sandra_nz

389

1.5y

So personally I would have refused to recieve the letter on the landlord's behalf, it simply would have been returned to the bank and they would have attempted to contact your landlord in some other way.

However, your dad screaming at you and telling you you're an asshole? What the fuck?

velofille

1.5y

^^ pretty much this

Its never good to accept mail for somebody unless they have specifically asked

EvilLoynis

1.5y

While I agree with both of you I think if you live with the other person, or know that you will see them within the next day or so it's fine.

However OP sounds like they signed for a certified letter which is a much different situation.

Therefore sadly have to rate this YTB.

himbologic

1.5y

NTBF. Your dad's opinion isn't relevant (except that now you know not to accept his letters); your landlord's is.

Brunettebabe2290

1.5y

My narcissistic father would do the same to me. Your father ITBF. Next time, don’t sign for someone’s mail. It could have been a time sensitive issue and the clocks start once it’s accepted so you’d put your landlord in a bind. It’s good he is appreciative that you collected it for him though but some people wouldn’t be.

TootsNYC

1.5y

As long as you didn’t open it, I don’t think there’s any way you could get in trouble. Maybe if you never told him.

And you have interacted with your landlord, which made you able to accurately predict his reaction.

However, with something that requires a signature, it becomes extra important that it get to the person, so maybe it would have been best not to if you couldn’t be sure you’d see him.

Edited to add: NTB

Finlandia1865

1.5y

Nothing they did was an AH move though, NTA for sure

TootsNYC

1.5y

Absolutely agree. And dad was

ArdvarkMaster

1.5y

NTBF - you were doing your landlord a favor. He was good with your action and that is all that mattered.

talithaeli

1.5y

It may not actually have been a favor. As someone mentioned above there are certain legal processes with timelines that begin when receipt of a document is acknowledged – like OP signing for the letter.

This is still very much NTBF, as OP clearly did not know that and meant well. And the landlord is fine with it so all’s well that ends well.

But just for your future reference (and anyone else reading this) it’s generally not a good idea to sign for documents on someone else’s behalf unless 1) you are 100% sure what the document is and why it has been received or 2) you have been authorized by the intended recipient.

[deleted]

1.5y

NTB

But your dad needs to step off. Are there possible issues because you signed for it? Yes. Did he have to SCREAM at you about it? No. Open your mouth and tell your dad that he needs to stop screaming at you. It's unacceptable.

Hopefully, you signing for this letter won't have any issues, but next time, refuse and let the sender deal with it.

uglypottery

1.5y

I personally would not accept that sort of responsibility on behalf of my landlord, because it could result in problems for me if I misplace important mail in the time before the landlord returns to take it. It was also potentially risky to sign for the mail before you had explicit permission, but it’s good you called first.

Your dad’s reaction sounds a bit extreme.. Has he had issues with other people signing for his mail?

True_Resolve_2625

1.5y

NTBF but no, you generally shouldn't do this - it can cause legal issues.

However, my bigger concern is how your dad treated you. Jeez.

[deleted]

1.5y

No, it’s totally fine in the US. Sounds like certified mail with unrestricted delivery. Tell your dad a lawyer said it’s fine. The carrier would not have let you sign if it were restricted. Further, certified mail is deemed delivered for legal purposes if it returned after 2 attempts.

jacksparrow1

1.5y

I was sure I must have read something wrong and you read the letter. But no, you just signed for it. Your dad is on glue and you are not the butt face

iBeFloe

1.5y

It’s not like you opened his mail. It’s completely fine.

lkbird8

1.5y

You made it clear to the mailman that you weren't the intended recipient, and they were fine with you signing for it. You also didn't open the letter without permission, just allowed it to be delivered and immediately notified your landlord about it. So I really doubt this is something you could get into any legal trouble for.

But even if it was, that's still no excuse for your dad to berate you and scream at you. That's not how reasonable people communicate. You were trying to be helpful and you're not an asshole for handling it differently than he would have. NTB.

Ryugi

1.5y

NTBF. You didn't open it, and you were not withholding it from your landlord. Your dad is a dramaqueen.

That said, in the future, don't take anything that needs to be signed for. This is a legal issue. Usually no big deal but could become a big deal for someone else later.

N_Inquisitive

1.5y

Your Dad sounds unhinged. Don't talk to him anymore. Don't give him any info if you can help it.

NTA

_my_choice_

1.5y

NTBF, but it isn't really a good thing to do. It could put you in the middle of a legal problem.

Hieronymus_Lex99

1.5y

NTB Probably not a good idea recieving another person's mail, but it turned out okay.

However, your dad's reaction? yikes I bet childhood was thrilling. Tell that dude to touch grass or get therapy or something.

PaleAd7525

1.5y

NTB

Bookaholicforever

1.5y

Personally I think that if someone starts screaming at you, their opinion is irrelevant.

NTB.

Stillmeafter50

1.5y

NTB

[deleted]

1.5y

NTB at all. Not sure why anyone would think you were.

EvilLoynis

1.5y

Sadly YTB, but just in the sense you unintentionally are in the wrong but can easily fix. Dad way overreacted.

While I agree you shouldn't sign for others, I think if you live with the other person, or know that you will see them within the next day or so it's fine.

However OP sounds like they signed for a certified letter which is a much different situation.

These sometimes have time sensitive things involved with them that may mess up the intended recipient.

While the person is ok with it now, who knows how long until they know what's in it. Could be very important and may need to be forwarded immediately.

AmberMay900

1.5y

NTBF. Although I don’t think you should be collecting anyones mail, your landlord said it was fine so I don’t see a major issue. Just maybe don’t do that to anyone else

JanetInSC1234

-2

1.5y

Did your dad serve in the military by any chance?

My dad did and he frequently had these rage/panic/bully outbursts. Let it go in one ear and out the other until you can get your own place. <3

RagingBeanSidhe

1.5y

(Abuse*)

NEIRBO747

-5

1.5y

If you are in the u. S. It is s felony a. K. A. Mail fraud. But, why didn't the landlord notify about the change of address? In the future, don't accept his mail. It is on him to do the change of address,/forwarding address

User deleted comment

1.5y

NEIRBO747

1.5y

Thank you for clearing that up for me