User deleted post
YTA - Mistakes happen, that was not a fireable offense.
If you were really worried about saying goodbye, why didn't you send an email?
YTFA - sounds like you could have made way more effort to talk to your best friend if you knew his health was declining... Pick up the phone, write an email etc. Who knows the letter might not have even made it to him before he passed away, whos fault would it have been then?
Sadly this whole thing screams privilege, and I feel so bad for your housekeeper.
YTA.
There's pretty much no story that ends with "I threw stuff on the ground and told my employee to 'Get the fuck out'" where you look like a good person.
You've admitted you think everyone makes mistakes. We've admitted we think you're kind of a dick.
Glad we got to the bottom of this puzzler.
YTA- something that meant that much to you, you should have taken the time to do it yourself.
YTA. If this was your best friend then you set work aside and send the letter yourself. You are allowed time away from work when a loved one is dying. If it was that important you do it yourself. Now write your maid an apology letter and send it yourself.
YTA. She’s your maid, not your personal assistant. By mailing the letters at all was doing you a favor. If it was so important you should have done it yourself. And then you throw a fit in the process of letting her go. I think you owe her an apology, a big one.
Seconded.
YTA - I don’t think this was a fireable offense and not related to their immediate duties/job. It was an honest mistake probably, and you threw a fit and became angry inappropriately.
YTA
Your friend was actively dying and you decided snail mail would be the best way to ensure you got to say goodbye. Email? Google hangouts? Microsoft teams? Zoom meeting? Hell even a phone call would have been more expedient.
Since your friend died several hours after the maid sent the letters, there's no way your letter would have gotten there in time anyway. If the letter was this important, you should have prioritized it and sent it yourself.
Not only were you not making an expedient choice in this day of technology, you moreover had a child's tantrum and blamed your maid for all of it. It is not her fault your friend died. She made an honest error but you need to take some responsibility for your failings as a friend as well. You had many options for bidding farewell and you literally chose the slowest possible route.
YTA. Your maid is hired to clean your home/office. They are not hired to run errands for you. There are so many better ways you could have gotten in touch with your friend. This isn’t 1950. Also you sent your maid to send out letters in what...un-addressed envelopes? Like there’s just so much you could have done differently and your maid probably didn’t want to read your personal letters. You owe them an apology.
YTA. It was an honest mistake on her part. I get it's awful that you didn't get the letter to your friend before he passed, but if it was that important you could have mailed it yourself. Or called him. The letter was a sweet gesture though, I'm sorry he didn't get them.
Oof, YTA.
Not only did you treat your maid very unprofessional in the way you handled that, but you also made yourself look like a huge jerk.
You said it yourself, people make mistakes. So if you wanted to get the message to your friend before he died, then you should have sent the letters yourself or called him.
YTA. Not a fireable offence, and not how you treat an employee.
Also, from the way you describe the timeline, it sounds like he wouldn’t have gotten the letter before he passed anyways. So... double YTA.
YTA- A maid is not a secretary. I'm hoping she finds a better person to work for. You waited until the last moments to try and say goodbye to someone, that is your fault. Then you chose a letter instead of a form of communication that would without a doubt get to your friend and instantly at that. Why wouldn't you have addressed them for her at the very least? You can't pass that buck to her, sorry that is your guilt to live with.
YTA - So you didn't even put the letter you worked so hard on into an envelope and put the address on it? Because that's how mail works, if you didn't realize it, you actually have to put it in an envelope and address it and put a stamp on it.
Agreed! OP spent “the whole night writing out a letter, which ended up being approximately 10 pages front and back” but didn’t have the time or care enough to put it in an envelope and write the address on it? JFC
YTA... for not sending your letter to your friend your own self. And for being a dick to your "maid". If you want to fume and throw stuff, do it to yourself. Because you deserve it.
AUTOMOD The following is a copy of the above post. This comment is a record of the above post as it was originally written, in case the post is deleted or edited. Read this before contacting the mod team
So this happened approximately 2 months ago, and I am still trying to get over it. I had a best friend who had been diagnosed with COVID 19, and since he often smoked cigarretes, he was struggling to fight the virus. After 3 weeks had gone by, it was clear that he would not make it, and because he was my best friend, I thought that I should at least send him a letter before he leaves. I ended up spending the whole night writing out a letter, which ended up being approximately 10 pages front and back, but since I had a conference the next day, I asked my maid to send it, along with a few other letters to my parents in Chicago (I live in Texas). Believe it or not, my maid had somehow mixed up the letters, and sent the letters I intended to send to my parents just a few hours he had passed away, and I was never able to say goodbye to him.
When I had found out a few days later, I was absolutely fumed. I threw stuff onto the ground while shouting at my maid, later swearing at my maid and telling them to "Get the F*** Out". Even though my maid was crying I was too angry to feel any sympathy for her. However, now I feel kind of bad for my maid. I know everyone makes mistakes sometimes but I was truly too angered to forgive her.
AITA for firing my maid, or was it reasonable?
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment.
Help keep the sub engaging!
Don’t downvote assholes!
Do upvote interesting posts!
Click Here For Our Rules and Click Here For Our FAQ
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.
Yta. Why couldn’t you have done something online? What if she did send it properly, but it got lost on the way or got there to long? Then what?
1 missing reply
Your best friend was dying so you decided to...send him a letter to say goodbye, a letter that could take up to several days to get there? Not call him or somehow set up a video chat? And then throw things around while cursing out your maid? Either this is a creative writing exercise, or it's a big time YTA.