We friends were having a talk on the table regarding harassment with a completely new stranger. At this my female friend( say A) introduces all us male friends as completely insensitive and unempathetic. Then she specifically mentions me to have not taken any action against a former male friend( say B )of ours who slut shamed her. This slut shaming incident happened 4 years back when all of us were just getting to know each other and new. A and B were labmates and I belonged to a different lab. But all of us were in the same department. So my friendship with both A and B was similar. Moreover, at that point of time they were not in my best friend circle. But were only friends. And it so happened that B was slut shaming A behind her back which A found out. But I was completely unaware of this since B did not slutshame A in front of me. And behaved with B naturally. Then one day A tells me about B and expects me to cut off my friendship with B. Though , I started maintaining distance from B, B used to approach me in a natural manner and I too used to respond naturally without showing any special interest but maintaining some distance. This was not taken well by A. But B understood that we were distancing ourselves from him and so he also distanced himself and he went out of our friend circle. A became a good friend of mine. But now it bothers me that she points this incident of my life to push me down and make me a villain and make me feel guilty. I tell her not to raise this since it bothers me. But she says she is not saying lies and that she will mention this when she feels like. She guilty drives me by saying that I am a bullshitty friend. I told her if she cannot forgive me for the past we can't be friends. AITA?
AITA for taking offence to my friend raising a regrettable part of my life while introducing me to someone?
Not enough infoShe is usually the nicest person to everyone she meets in the beginning. But later she has very high expectations in return. She had one female friend ( say C) at some point of time whom she introduced me to. But for some reason, according to her that female friend C did not like my company and asked her to choose between me and her. And she chose me. Therefore, I get to listen to this sacrifice she made more often.
She’s playing games with you for some reason.
Somehow I don't think she is smart enough to play games. I just feel she is naive and has been pampered a lot by her parents.
That you think that proves just how smart she is. She's successfully played you.
She comes off as manipulative and exhausting af. And whatever she told you about her female friend and the reasons for the friendship ending is probably a load of bs.
Question: Are you straight? If you are, have you dated anyone during your friendship with A? And if you have, how does she act when you are dating someone? How does she treat your dates/girlfriends?
I am straight. I have dated girls during our friendship but I often kept it a secret from her since I like my dates to be secrets until serious and she is very bad in keeping secrets.
All secrets? Does she overshare her personal stuff? Her relationship stuff with her bf? Or anything that portrays her in bad light? Or is she only very generous with info that involves other people?
Coz if she's just yapping about other people especially stuff that's bad and is a vault about her stuff, then she's not really bad at keeping secrets. And it's just her being controlling and manipulative. Using the info she has on her friends as a weapon. Spilling secrets when it benefits her in some way. Or when she needs to keep you in check.
I also think C might have been interested in you. Or you two might have been (or A just thought you were) getting too close for A's comfort. And A ended the friendship with C coz she didn't wanna share you with her. And then fed you that bs reason about C making her choose.
Like someone else said, there's a reason she doesn't have female friends. Probably doesn't like sharing any kind of male attention with other women.
She has overshared her personal stuff too. Regarding her family secrets. But in none of what she shares she is in bad light except for the pampering she has received from her college friends and parents. She expects is to pamper her like that.