My fiancée and I (both 20s) are getting married in a month and there's a dispute with my dad now and he claims I'm being unfair, but I wanted to get some thoughts on it. So dad decided he was going to give a speech at the wedding without saying anything first. He had shared the contents of said speech with his sister, my aunt, and she knew the speech would not sit well with me and mentioned his plan to me.
So in this speech he already wrote he talks a lot about how his wife is the love of his life, how amazing she is, etc. It's very similar to the speech he gave at their vow renewal 10 years ago. He hasn't shied away from expressing in front of me and to me that he never loved anyone like he loved his wife, how all his past relationships pale in comparison. And that includes my mom who was his first wife, who left him widowered with an 8 year old son at the time. To make it even more difficult to hear. The vow renewal was held on my 18th birthday and I got to celebrate my birthday by hearing dad talk about how mom meant nothing because his second wife was so much better. They were married 8 years at the time. But a lot of family and friends didn't attend their actual wedding and they decided they'd basically have a second one to celebrate and they decided my birthday was the perfect time to do this.
Anyway, the speech he wrote for my wedding had a lot of this content from what my aunt heard from my dad and read herself. She knew on my wedding day the last thing I needed to hear was how much he adores his wife when he does so in a way that basically said my mom meant nothing to him.
I told him I knew about the speech and he didn't have permission to give the speech at my wedding. Dad asked why not and I told him I didn't want him to use my wedding to praise his wife. He said she means the world to us so why would I say that. I told him she means the world to him. But she pales in comparison to my mom who meant the world to me and still does. I told him he might have decided mom meant nothing but that didn't mean I shared his feelings. He accused me of being sensitive and then said it seemed like I didn't care about his wife at all, and then he said she was a good mom to me for the 8 years she raised me. I told him she was never anything more than his wife. My mom died when I was 8 and I didn't get a new one. And the last thing I need to hear is how little she meant on my wedding day. Dad told me to be reasonable and the parents of the bride and groom typically say something. I told him nothing he had to say had a place at my wedding. That this is mine and my fiancée's wedding, not his. I told him to get married again if all he wants to do is praise his wife. But it was not happening at mine.
He told me to stop acting like a little boy and grow up. I left. Then his wife called crying about the fight dad and I had. Which led to dad calling me again and telling me to grow up again.
AITA?