I have 2 wonderful kids, a son, Oscar 15M and a daughter, Holly 17F. My son gets very very bad migraines. He can't eat, can't sleep, can't do anything. Its a stressful time for everyone in our family and when he gets them he usually takes a day or 2 off school (it happens rarely so this is not an issue). He's currently in one of these 'episodes' as my wife and I have taken to calling them, so he is in the guest room resting. Obviosuly, he can't do chores when he's like this so usually me or my wife pick up the slack.

Holly always gets a bit edgy when Oscar has these attacks and generally acts a bit grumpy. I always assumed these were out of concern for her brother so would usually get her some sweets or something to take her mind off it. Today Holly saw me emptying the trash which is usually one of Oscar's chores and did that really prolonged sigh which people do when they want you to ask them whats wrong. I put the trash back and went to talk to her.

Holly is upset because we never do all this for her when she has a headache. I explained, gently, that Oscar doesn't get headaches, he gets migraines, and that when she's as sick as he is we do, do 'all this' but Holly was still upset. This all came on quite quickly so I tried to get her to understand, but she refuses she carried on telling me how Oscar should just get 'off his lazy butt',

I reprimanded her for talking about her brother like that, especially since she knows how hard this is for Oscar and he's hardly having a good time playing video games or something. (edit: as in he's not doing something enjoyable, not that he's not enjoying playing games, he can't play games rn). Holly continued saying it was unfair for us (edit: me and my wife, obviously not Holly) to do all his chores, and he should at least do the garden. We have a big garden, and neither me nor my wife is fit enough to take care of it like we used to and Oscar, being the sporty guy he is took over.

I told her, bluntly that if she cared so much about the garden, she could just do it herself. She got really mad about this and I'll admit I probably shouldn't have suggested it. She started accusing me of favoritism, etc. I told her to go to her room to calm down, because she was shouting loudly and Oscar was resting in the room right next to us. She stormed off. But now I'm wondering if I was too harsh, AITA?