#Welcome to r/AmITheAsshole!

A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in a real-world argument that's been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole.

This is the sub to lay out your  actions and conflicts and get impartial judgment rendered against you.  Were you the asshole in that situation or not? Post should reflect real situations, and abide by the rules below.

After 18 hours, your post will be given a flair representing the final judgment on your matter.  This flair is determined by the subscribers who have both rendered judgment and voted on which judgment is best.  ***The power of the crowd will judge you***.  If your top level comment has the highest number of upvotes in a thread, you will get a flair point. More details are listed in [our FAQ](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq).

---

#Important Links

* ##[Frequently Asked Questions](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq)

* ##[How To Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/howtopost)

* Visit our sister subreddit /r/AmItheButtface/ for posts about fiction or relationships, and basically anything that we don't allow here! /r/AmItheCloaca for posts from animals and /r/AmItheGrasshole for all your lawncare conflicts!

* See our *~~Best Of~~* "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered 

* Looking for some Regional Assholes? /r/AkoBaYungGago/ /r/BenIkDeEikel /r/BinIchDasArschloch /r/EuSouOBabaca  /r/suisjeletroudeballe  

* See our [resources for those in an unhealthy or abusive relationship](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/resources) and [resources for members of the LGBTQIA+ community that might need help or support](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/resources/lgbtqiaplus)

* https://al-anon.org/ and http://www.teen-anon.com/

* https://smartrecovery.org/

* https://www.childhelp.org/

---

#Voting Guide

In your top level comment be sure to include one abbreviation for your judgment, i.e.

**YTA** = You're the Asshole; 

**YWBTA** = You Would Be the Asshole;

**NTA** = Not the A-hole (and the other person is); 

**YWNBTA** = You Would Not be the Asshole  (and the other person would);

**ESH** = Everyone Sucks here;
 
**NAH** = No A-holes here; 

**INFO** = Not Enough Info 

---

#**Rules**

##1. Be Civil

Attack ideas, not people. The purpose of this sub is to determine and explain who is in the wrong, not to eviscerate anyone. Treat others with respect while helping them grow through outside perspectives. Derogatory or dehumanizing language, including insults, violate this rule.

This rule applies to everyone, even those not on Reddit. Don't insult others or get into prolonged spats in the comments. Don't lecture people about the rules (use reports).

Be respectful. Be nice. Don't be an asshole.

##2. Voting Rules

Upvote posts that make for an interesting discussion. **DON'T** downvote if you think OP is an asshole. **DON'T DOWNVOTE COMMENTS YOU DISAGREE WITH.** Downvotes should be reserved for off-topic discussions or spam. Report harassing comments, don’t engage. 

Don't participate in threads you have found through crossposts and links outside of this subreddit. In this sub, your comment is a vote. Brigading/Vote manipulation is against Reddit site wide rules. **Brigading will earn a permanent ban.**

##3. Accept Your Judgment

This sub is here for the submitter to discover what everyone else thinks of the ethics or mores of a situation. It is not here to draw people into an argument you want to have, or to defend your position. If people start saying you were the asshole, do not take that as an invitation to debate them on the subject... accept the judgment and move on. If you have valid reason to think a commenter needs more information or misunderstood the facts of the conflict, you may give new information.

##4. Never Delete An Active Discussion

DO NOT delete your submission once a discussion has begun. Your post must stay up for **at least 48 hours**. We encourage submitters to use throwaways to maintain their privacy, but deleting a discussion is unacceptable. Violators will be banned.

##5. No Violence

Don't even *mention* violence.

If your post or comment references violence, don't share it here. Any hint, mention, euphemism or suggestion of violence falls under this rule and isn't allowed.

Comments and even jokes about violence are not tolerated. Encouraging self-harm, suicide, "bad karma," property damage, food tampering, or anything that wishes mental or physical pain on anyone is strictly prohibited. **Violating this rule will result in a permanent ban.**

##6. How To Post

The TITLE of your submission must begin with the acronym AITA or WIBTA (would I be the asshole?), then a description of the situation.

Posts are limited to 3000 characters. Paragraphs are good; block text walls are bad. Format and punctuate your post reasonably. Be clear and concise. Don't link to screenshots or other subreddits. If you can't explain yourself in one post, without using external text pages, it does not belong here. Do not use someone else's account or a shared account.

##7. Post Interpersonal Conflicts

Posts should be descriptions of recent interpersonal conflicts. Describe both sides in detail. Make it clear why you may be "the asshole."

Submissions must contain a real-life conflict between you and at least one other person. They should not be about feelings, opinions, or desires. If your conflict is with a larger demographic, an animal, someone online, a business, or a third party who’s irrelevant to the main question but thought what you did sucked, your post will be removed.

##8. No Shitposts

Posts must be truthful and presented as fairly and accurately as possible. Posts must be written entirely by you and from your own point of view. Do not post on behalf of others, or from the point of view of another person in the story.

This is not a humor sub. This isn't a sub for copypastas, satire, overly embellished stories, AI generated content, or creative writing exercises.

Shitposting will result in a permanent ban.

##9. Do Not Ask For Advice

This is NOT an advice sub. All submissions that ask for advice (instead of or in addition to judgment) will be removed. This sub is for arbitration.

You may include advice when you make your comments, but remember that your primary objective in commenting is to assign blame and pass judgment.

If a thread's focus becomes about advice instead of arbitration the thread may be removed regardless of the OP's intent.

##10. Updates and META posts are restricted

Posts dedicated to discussing AITA should be directed to the monthly open forum. Any META posts will be removed & may result in a ban.

Update posts require approval.  This includes any post that references another post, including posting the other perspective. Review the [update criteria](https://tinyurl.com/zn2kbnnw) for more info. Unapproved updates will result in a ban.
 
This is not a saga or diary sub. Excessive posting will result in a warning or ban.

##11. No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts

AITA is not a relationship sub. We do not allow the following types of posts:

- AITA for ghosting/cutting/reducing/denying contact with \**anyone** (or not). 
- AITA for liking/pursuing/dating/breaking up with someone (or not)
- AITA for doing a sexual act (or not)
- Reproductive decisions (including adopting/fostering children and delivery room conflicts)
- Posts about cheating- including "exposing" someone's cheating (or not).
- Or [similar conflicts](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq/#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts) that only exist in romantic or sexual relationships.

##12. This Is Not A Debate Sub

If judgment is primarily motivated by whether commenters agree with your stance on a broad issue it is not appropriate for this sub. This includes anything from politically motivated conflicts to innocuous issues like if cake is better than pie. If you're ultimately asking if it is okay to kick someone off your team for their sexual identity, stop talking to your friend because they vape, or any similar debate, your post will be removed.

No starting off topic debates about marginalized groups

##13. No Revenge Stories

There are many subreddits for sharing tales of revenge—this is not one of them. This is a sub for providing feedback on interpersonal conflict, not for endorsing how you escalate a conflict. If you're here to tell us how you punished someone who totally had it coming, you're probably breaking this rule.

##14. No Medical Conflicts

AITA is a platform for moral judgment, not medical advice. The life and death consequences of many medical conflicts are well outside of Reddit's paygrade. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is transmitting or contracting any communicable disease, or undergoing any kind of medical procedure.


___

*Normal Rediquette applies*
___

Filters |||
---|---|---
[Assholes](https://goo.gl/xfq1zE)| [Not Assholes](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/search?q=flair%3ANot+the+A-hole&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) | [Updates](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/search?q=flair:update&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) 
[Everyone Sucks](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/search?q=flair%3AEveryone+Sucks&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) | [No A-holes Here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/search?q=flair%3ANo+A-holes+here&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) |  [Talks](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/search?q=flair:talk&restrict_sr=on&sort=new&t=all) 
___

<div class="md"><h1>Welcome to <a href="/r/AmITheAsshole">r/AmITheAsshole</a>!</h1>

<p>A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in a real-world argument that&#39;s been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you&#39;re right, or you&#39;re the asshole.</p>

<p>This is the sub to lay out your  actions and conflicts and get impartial judgment rendered against you.  Were you the asshole in that situation or not? Post should reflect real situations, and abide by the rules below.</p>

<p>After 18 hours, your post will be given a flair representing the final judgment on your matter.  This flair is determined by the subscribers who have both rendered judgment and voted on which judgment is best.  <strong><em>The power of the crowd will judge you</em></strong>.  If your top level comment has the highest number of upvotes in a thread, you will get a flair point. More details are listed in <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq">our FAQ</a>.</p>

<hr/>

<h1>Important Links</h1>

<ul>
<li><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq">Frequently Asked Questions</a></h2></li>
<li><h2><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/howtopost">How To Post</a></h2></li>
<li><p>Visit our sister subreddit <a href="/r/AmItheButtface/">/r/AmItheButtface/</a> for posts about fiction or relationships, and basically anything that we don&#39;t allow here! <a href="/r/AmItheCloaca">/r/AmItheCloaca</a> for posts from animals and <a href="/r/AmItheGrasshole">/r/AmItheGrasshole</a> for all your lawncare conflicts!</p></li>
<li><p>See our <em><del>Best Of</del></em> &quot;Most Controversial&quot; at <a href="/r/AITAFiltered">/r/AITAFiltered</a> </p></li>
<li><p>Looking for some Regional Assholes? <a href="/r/AkoBaYungGago/">/r/AkoBaYungGago/</a> <a href="/r/BenIkDeEikel">/r/BenIkDeEikel</a> <a href="/r/BinIchDasArschloch">/r/BinIchDasArschloch</a> <a href="/r/EuSouOBabaca">/r/EuSouOBabaca</a>  <a href="/r/suisjeletroudeballe">/r/suisjeletroudeballe</a>  </p></li>
<li><p>See our <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/resources">resources for those in an unhealthy or abusive relationship</a> and <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/resources/lgbtqiaplus">resources for members of the LGBTQIA+ community that might need help or support</a></p></li>
<li><p><a href="https://al-anon.org/">https://al-anon.org/</a> and <a href="http://www.teen-anon.com/">http://www.teen-anon.com/</a></p></li>
<li><p><a href="https://smartrecovery.org/">https://smartrecovery.org/</a></p></li>
<li><p><a href="https://www.childhelp.org/">https://www.childhelp.org/</a></p></li>
</ul>

<hr/>

<h1>Voting Guide</h1>

<p>In your top level comment be sure to include one abbreviation for your judgment, i.e.</p>

<p><strong>YTA</strong> = You&#39;re the Asshole; </p>

<p><strong>YWBTA</strong> = You Would Be the Asshole;</p>

<p><strong>NTA</strong> = Not the A-hole (and the other person is); </p>

<p><strong>YWNBTA</strong> = You Would Not be the Asshole  (and the other person would);</p>

<p><strong>ESH</strong> = Everyone Sucks here;</p>

<p><strong>NAH</strong> = No A-holes here; </p>

<p><strong>INFO</strong> = Not Enough Info </p>

<hr/>

<h1><strong>Rules</strong></h1>

<h2>1. Be Civil</h2>

<p>Attack ideas, not people. The purpose of this sub is to determine and explain who is in the wrong, not to eviscerate anyone. Treat others with respect while helping them grow through outside perspectives. Derogatory or dehumanizing language, including insults, violate this rule.</p>

<p>This rule applies to everyone, even those not on Reddit. Don&#39;t insult others or get into prolonged spats in the comments. Don&#39;t lecture people about the rules (use reports).</p>

<p>Be respectful. Be nice. Don&#39;t be an asshole.</p>

<h2>2. Voting Rules</h2>

<p>Upvote posts that make for an interesting discussion. <strong>DON&#39;T</strong> downvote if you think OP is an asshole. <strong>DON&#39;T DOWNVOTE COMMENTS YOU DISAGREE WITH.</strong> Downvotes should be reserved for off-topic discussions or spam. Report harassing comments, don’t engage. </p>

<p>Don&#39;t participate in threads you have found through crossposts and links outside of this subreddit. In this sub, your comment is a vote. Brigading/Vote manipulation is against Reddit site wide rules. <strong>Brigading will earn a permanent ban.</strong></p>

<h2>3. Accept Your Judgment</h2>

<p>This sub is here for the submitter to discover what everyone else thinks of the ethics or mores of a situation. It is not here to draw people into an argument you want to have, or to defend your position. If people start saying you were the asshole, do not take that as an invitation to debate them on the subject... accept the judgment and move on. If you have valid reason to think a commenter needs more information or misunderstood the facts of the conflict, you may give new information.</p>

<h2>4. Never Delete An Active Discussion</h2>

<p>DO NOT delete your submission once a discussion has begun. Your post must stay up for <strong>at least 48 hours</strong>. We encourage submitters to use throwaways to maintain their privacy, but deleting a discussion is unacceptable. Violators will be banned.</p>

<h2>5. No Violence</h2>

<p>Don&#39;t even <em>mention</em> violence.</p>

<p>If your post or comment references violence, don&#39;t share it here. Any hint, mention, euphemism or suggestion of violence falls under this rule and isn&#39;t allowed.</p>

<p>Comments and even jokes about violence are not tolerated. Encouraging self-harm, suicide, &quot;bad karma,&quot; property damage, food tampering, or anything that wishes mental or physical pain on anyone is strictly prohibited. <strong>Violating this rule will result in a permanent ban.</strong></p>

<h2>6. How To Post</h2>

<p>The TITLE of your submission must begin with the acronym AITA or WIBTA (would I be the asshole?), then a description of the situation.</p>

<p>Posts are limited to 3000 characters. Paragraphs are good; block text walls are bad. Format and punctuate your post reasonably. Be clear and concise. Don&#39;t link to screenshots or other subreddits. If you can&#39;t explain yourself in one post, without using external text pages, it does not belong here. Do not use someone else&#39;s account or a shared account.</p>

<h2>7. Post Interpersonal Conflicts</h2>

<p>Posts should be descriptions of recent interpersonal conflicts. Describe both sides in detail. Make it clear why you may be &quot;the asshole.&quot;</p>

<p>Submissions must contain a real-life conflict between you and at least one other person. They should not be about feelings, opinions, or desires. If your conflict is with a larger demographic, an animal, someone online, a business, or a third party who’s irrelevant to the main question but thought what you did sucked, your post will be removed.</p>

<h2>8. No Shitposts</h2>

<p>Posts must be truthful and presented as fairly and accurately as possible. Posts must be written entirely by you and from your own point of view. Do not post on behalf of others, or from the point of view of another person in the story.</p>

<p>This is not a humor sub. This isn&#39;t a sub for copypastas, satire, overly embellished stories, AI generated content, or creative writing exercises.</p>

<p>Shitposting will result in a permanent ban.</p>

<h2>9. Do Not Ask For Advice</h2>

<p>This is NOT an advice sub. All submissions that ask for advice (instead of or in addition to judgment) will be removed. This sub is for arbitration.</p>

<p>You may include advice when you make your comments, but remember that your primary objective in commenting is to assign blame and pass judgment.</p>

<p>If a thread&#39;s focus becomes about advice instead of arbitration the thread may be removed regardless of the OP&#39;s intent.</p>

<h2>10. Updates and META posts are restricted</h2>

<p>Posts dedicated to discussing AITA should be directed to the monthly open forum. Any META posts will be removed &amp; may result in a ban.</p>

<p>Update posts require approval.  This includes any post that references another post, including posting the other perspective. Review the <a href="https://tinyurl.com/zn2kbnnw">update criteria</a> for more info. Unapproved updates will result in a ban.</p>

<p>This is not a saga or diary sub. Excessive posting will result in a warning or ban.</p>

<h2>11. No Partings/Relationship/Sex/Reproductive Autonomy Posts</h2>

<p>AITA is not a relationship sub. We do not allow the following types of posts:</p>

<ul>
<li>AITA for ghosting/cutting/reducing/denying contact with *<em>anyone</em>* (or not). </li>
<li>AITA for liking/pursuing/dating/breaking up with someone (or not)</li>
<li>AITA for doing a sexual act (or not)</li>
<li>Reproductive decisions (including adopting/fostering children and delivery room conflicts)</li>
<li>Posts about cheating- including &quot;exposing&quot; someone&#39;s cheating (or not).</li>
<li>Or <a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/wiki/faq/#wiki_rule_11.3A_no_partings.2Frelationship.2Fsex.2Freproductive_autonomy_posts">similar conflicts</a> that only exist in romantic or sexual relationships.</li>
</ul>

<h2>12. This Is Not A Debate Sub</h2>

<p>If judgment is primarily motivated by whether commenters agree with your stance on a broad issue it is not appropriate for this sub. This includes anything from politically motivated conflicts to innocuous issues like if cake is better than pie. If you&#39;re ultimately asking if it is okay to kick someone off your team for their sexual identity, stop talking to your friend because they vape, or any similar debate, your post will be removed.</p>

<p>No starting off topic debates about marginalized groups</p>

<h2>13. No Revenge Stories</h2>

<p>There are many subreddits for sharing tales of revenge—this is not one of them. This is a sub for providing feedback on interpersonal conflict, not for endorsing how you escalate a conflict. If you&#39;re here to tell us how you punished someone who totally had it coming, you&#39;re probably breaking this rule.</p>

<h2>14. No Medical Conflicts</h2>

<p>AITA is a platform for moral judgment, not medical advice. The life and death consequences of many medical conflicts are well outside of Reddit&#39;s paygrade. We do not allow posts where the central conflict is transmitting or contracting any communicable disease, or undergoing any kind of medical procedure.</p>

<hr/>

<p><em>Normal Rediquette applies</em></p>

<hr/>

<table><thead>
<tr>
<th>Filters</th>
<th></th>
<th></th>
</tr>
</thead><tbody>
<tr>
<td><a href="https://goo.gl/xfq1zE">Assholes</a></td>
<td><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/search?q=flair%3ANot+the+A-hole&amp;restrict_sr=on&amp;sort=new&amp;t=all">Not Assholes</a></td>
<td><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/search?q=flair:update&amp;restrict_sr=on&amp;sort=new&amp;t=all">Updates</a></td>
</tr>
<tr>
<td><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/search?q=flair%3AEveryone+Sucks&amp;restrict_sr=on&amp;sort=new&amp;t=all">Everyone Sucks</a></td>
<td><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/search?q=flair%3ANo+A-holes+here&amp;restrict_sr=on&amp;sort=new&amp;t=all">No A-holes Here</a></td>
<td><a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/search?q=flair:talk&amp;restrict_sr=on&amp;sort=new&amp;t=all">Talks</a></td>
</tr>
</tbody></table>

<hr/>
</div>

AmItheAsshole

t5_2xhvq

A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that's been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you're right, or you're the asshole. 

See our ~~*Best Of*~~ "Most Controversial" at /r/AITAFiltered!

<div class="md"><p>A catharsis for the frustrated moral philosopher in all of us, and a place to finally find out if you were wrong in an argument that&#39;s been bothering you. Tell us about any non-violent conflict you have experienced; give us both sides of the story, and find out if you&#39;re right, or you&#39;re the asshole. </p>

<p>See our <del><em>Best Of</em></del> &quot;Most Controversial&quot; at <a href="/r/AITAFiltered">/r/AITAFiltered</a>!</p>
</div>

**Post layout:** AITA for [situation]? ***AITA must be in all caps***

**Posts are limited to 3,000 characters.** No exceptions. **Use paragraph breaks and punctuation.** Make your post readable for more interaction. Use fake names rather than initials, be concise, limit backstory and focus on the current conflict.

**You will get a PM from Judgement_Bot_AITA after posting.** You must respond for your post to go live.

**Be a good OP.** Answer questions. Use a throwaway if you're concerned about anonymity. Don't argue if you get a judgement you don't like.

<div class="md"><p><strong>Post layout:</strong> AITA for [situation]? <strong><em>AITA must be in all caps</em></strong></p>

<p><strong>Posts are limited to 3,000 characters.</strong> No exceptions. <strong>Use paragraph breaks and punctuation.</strong> Make your post readable for more interaction. Use fake names rather than initials, be concise, limit backstory and focus on the current conflict.</p>

<p><strong>You will get a PM from Judgement_Bot_AITA after posting.</strong> You must respond for your post to go live.</p>

<p><strong>Be a good OP.</strong> Answer questions. Use a throwaway if you&#39;re concerned about anonymity. Don&#39;t argue if you get a judgement you don&#39;t like.</p>
</div>

AITA for telling my husband that his purchase was ill advised and that he has to live with it.