Moderator removed post
AITA for not attending my fiancé's dad's funeral because I was uncomfortable with wearing a hijab?
View all comments
Totally agreed. You should’ve prioritized being there for your fiancé, not whether your hair shows. It’s basic respect to abide by other cultures customs when visiting other countries or attending a religious ceremony, which is what a funeral is. That you couldn’t adapt to something so small to be there for your fiancé is sad. Why would you marry someone in this religion if you have no respect for him or their customs?
I would never marry someone that expected me to wear a hijab all the time, but it wasn’t even his rule, it was for the funeral.
And the Christmas thing is ridiculous. Christmas is every year. You had one chance to be there for your fiancé when he needed you, when something hugely traumatic happened to him. YTA OP, I hope he leaves you as he deserves much better. You are no partner.
I'm sure this will not win her any favors with the future in-laws either. Not only couldn't OP be there for their future husband, she could even be bothered to be there and show support for the rest of the family too. If OP does not get dumped for this (as she probably will) she can expect major shade and side eye from his family going forward. There was no reason she couldn't suck it up for a couple of hours and cover her head. Christian women even did so in the Bible! And even her boyfriend gave her a pass on that and just wanted her with him. She didn't even have to go. He just lost his father. One of the most important people in his life. I couldn't imagine not being there to support my spouse through such a difficult time. He is probably skipping new years because he wants to be with people who love and support him right now. And OP and her family are not supportive.
My future in-laws like me. I never spoke to his father much, but he was a great man and I respected him. His mother is also an incredible woman, and I respect her as well. I am very close to one of his sisters, although things haven't been great this past week. His other sister doesn't like me very much, but that's probably because of his best friend since they are very close.
My family does love and support him. They aren't wildly racist or Islamaphobic as some people here have tried to imply. They are kind, caring, loving people. They have welcomed him into our family. Yes, they took some time to come around, and sure, they may be ignorant about some cultural traditions, but they aren't like that. They want the best for him and for us.
If your family loved him, they would have wanted you to go be with him during this difficult time. To me, it sounds like they encouraged you to stay in hopes that this would break you guys up if not that, then out of pure selfishness.