AIO for thinking my ex is a pedo

You can break up over anything, but those things don't automatically make him a pedo. Going no contact with zero explanation is pretty weird and extreme imo.

Little girl is strange and a little demeaning, but I do feel like you could have asked him to stop, and if he persisted or made a big deal, then definitely break up.

I'm not sure it's pedophilia, sounds more like a big/little kink. The difference is being attracted to the childlike behaviors and the other is being attracted to children.

You are free to break up with a person for any reason at any time.

y’all are getting weirdly hostile over this idk why it struck such a nerve

Well it sounds like you already didn’t like him, but you might be overreacting immediately jumping to thinking he’s a pedo. You would have to talk to him about it to figure it out though. Little girl totally could have just been a poor choice of words but it does seem strange. I call my fiancé baby and sometimes baby girl jokingly but yeah little girl does come off pretty odd. The thumb sucking thing could totally have just made him think about head or something, but it could have also been something more sinister. You’ll never really know though.

"little girl" is definitely meant to be endearing but it's okay to not like that. I also am not convinced that he saw sucking your thumb as "childlike" lol he saw his gf with her finger in her mouth which is definitely a turn on for any dude who's ever gotten head lol yes overreacting in the way you handled it but at the end of the day you're allowed to feel how you feel.

You're jumping to conclusions. You say you never said anything about being into age play, but this may well have been him (ham-fistedly) testing the waters. Nothing you've described even hints at inappropriate behavior towards an actual child.

That said, you're allowed to break up with someone for any reason or no reason at all.

Yes and no, It really sounds like you were just over the relationship and your mind was trying to find a reason. He may be into that but was too nervous to talk about it because of how some people take the BDSM community or just Kinks in general. If you want to know which he may have if you even want a type of closure look up DDLG relationships. But yeah

🙄 Break up for whatever reason, but calling him a pedo is ridiculous and a gross accusation.

You're not over reacting for feeling that way but I think your response mightve been.

I think it'd be best if you learn to voice your concerns in the future. We're all work in progress'. You, him, me, them, we all need to know when we fuck up to correct behaviour.

This was a moment for him to correct that behaviour.

Or else we keep making bitter people thinking the opposite sex is irrational.

To refute all those saying that the thumb sucking equates to sucking dick and giving head he said he was attracted to innocence

Call me a little girl/ baby girl all DAY.

Maybe he thought that way because you brought it to light with that thumb sucking. Don't act like a little girl, and your man won't call you one.

Nah i don’t think you’re overreacting don’t let the weirdo porn addicts on Reddit try to convince you otherwise

Lol yes you can break up with anyone over anything you want to. I’m glad you came to Reddit, anonymously, to ask if he is a pedo. Because, that is a wild accusation to make about someone who said something like little girl in the heat of the moment.

Would I say it? No. But that doesn’t mean this guy is a pedo because you didn’t like it and never brought it up through properly communicating with your boyfriend.

I think you are overreacting, but if you don’t like something you have the right to get it out of your life.

No. He’s not a pedo. Stop getting your advice from TikTok and Reddit. You sucking your thumb equates to sucking cock. Nothing new here.

If it creeped you out, it creeped you out.

Trust your gut.

A) he’s weird, I can’t say he’s for sure a pedo but… yikes

B) sucking your thumb as an adult is often a trauma response. I highly recommend therapy. ❤️❤️

Definitely overreacting. Some of the old ladies on the Real Housewives shows call themselves "girls," which *I* think is really weird. But it sounds like he thought seeing you sucking something was sexy. He sounds horny to me. If he never asked you to role-play or anything like that, I'm not sure you really have anything to support that level of an accusation. I think the adult thumb-sucking is more cause for concern, really.

It’s okay to break up with someone for whatever reason. It’s okay to be uncomfortable with what he’s doing. And while you don’t “owe anything to people”, I think it’s fair and courteous to at least attempt to explain why you want to break up.

I get it, you had shit experiences with it prior, but that doesn’t mean everyone’s like that. You should at least make an attempt, and if you can see if it’s going to turn into trouble, then move on.

Ten months isn’t a massive relationship, but it’s plenty of time for someone to get pretty emotionally attached, and to be dropped out of the blue can take a real mental toll. Now if they treated you like garbage, was abusive, etc. That’s one thing. You can drop them. But you broke up here based on something you never even had a conversation about.

Maybe even this scenario was fine, I would say, at least consider your mindset for future partners and to not absolutely stand by the “I don’t owe them shit” mindset. If it’s someone you cared for and loved, the least you can do is have one final conversation.

It’s sad, but the internet was bad when you were kids. Tumblr had lots of you-know-what and I’d hate to see what that’s done to people who were still learning the ropes. Not blaming them specifically, just saying there’s a lot out there. Porno mindset. It’s a real problem.

It’s a kink that some people have, but it doesn’t necessarily mean that they would find the same acts as sexual when an actual child does them. If you’re averse to it then you probably aren’t sexually compatible. That sort of thing is a huge turn off for me too, so I don’t think I would stay in the relationship in that situation but I wouldn’t jump to calling them a pedophile.

Sounds like that was probably the best way to break up with him. Any guy who refuses to leave or takes your stuff doesn’t deserve an explanation. Not sure if he’s a pedophile but reading it creeped me out a bit.

Sounds like you’re both into some weird stuff. At least your thumb-sucking won’t land you in jail, so that’s good. I guess that makes your weirdness better than his weirdness. I’d probably make an effort to stop the thumb-sucking though, that’s just me.

i had an ex that liked the term "naughty little girl" i think he might be just floating around that and variations of, and without further communication for clarifications. i think you're overreacting. you aren't a child, the attraction is to YOU sucking your thumb, it might just be too big of a leap to call the guy a pedo, but you wouldn't be in the wrong for saying it creeped you out.

but you don't need a reason if you were already not liking him for other reasons, you weren't compatible, and that is fine.

You did the right thing.

Also, you don't owe anyone an explanation or a conversation when leaving, particularly if you feel it will put you in an unsafe position.

Anyone giving you shit for that is an utter moron

Truly, don’t listen to idiots on Reddit, you don’t need to give anyone a reason for breaking up, you can ghost them, you can do it by text. Whatever moron made up that it needed to be in person or there needs to be a conversation are toxic and most likely was a narcissist because narcissists need to see you in person to keep their magic of manipulation going on you.

Also don’t let people tell you it wasn’t pedo behavior because, TRUST YOUR GUT, it want so much what he was doing or saying it was the way he made you feel while doing and saying those things so you don’t trust anyone else when they say you aren’t valid.

You are valid!!! You know what you felt as well as stop feeling embarrassed about sucking your thumb a lot of adults do it, it’s not childish, it’s a comfort thing, I’ve seen grown adults suck their thumb in public so really it’s not a big deal.

Good on you and keep him blocked on everything as well if he shows up tell him to leave you alone or you will call the police for harassment

Only a pedo would have/participate in fantasies about sex w a child. 100% NOT overreacting

It’s ok to break up with him. And you owe him no explanation other than you realized that you weren’t compatible. But he is no more a pedo, than you are over reacting. We cannot control what we find attractive. Lots of men find a pretty girl can suck on just about anything, and find it sexy. Think of it as an oral insertion kink. “Little girl” is a dominant thing. He wants to be the “big man”.

It would put me off completely. I'd be out of there too. Creepy.

Trust your gut.

yes and no. it's going a little far to call him a pedo when he hasn't actually done anything, but it's definitely really weird and you don't really have to justify getting the ick. it sounds like you're just not into him/not compatible and you're getting turned off. if you wanted to maintain this relationship you could talk to him about not being comfortable with certain things. but it sounds like you're not interested in doing that and tbh i don't blame you, i wouldn't regret any of your actions

I mean… the little girl thing doesn’t immediately mean he’s a pedo but I can see how someone can draw that conclusion, and I know plenty of people that still suck their thumb as an adult, it’s a behavior thing if you have trauma when you were a kid or just as a comfort if you didn’t get ‘weened’ off of sucking your thumb quickly enough as a child. I do think it’s a little weird he thought it was attractive though and you are completely valid for breaking up with him because at the end of the day it is your choice, but personally I would’ve at least had a conversation about it with him to see why he was acting like that.

Well I watched a interview of a ex girlfriend of a man charged with murdering his new girlfriends 12 year old daughter. The ex girlfriend broke up with him after a few months because while in bed he held his hand over her mouth and told her to hush her mom might hear them. As in some kinda of role play. Sorry I don't care if I kink shame others but certain kinks go way too far and is a red flag for horrible things to come. Run as fast as you can from that man.

Google DDLG kink

Not pedo 

Not over reacting to break up for incompatibility 

Always go with your gut. Something deep down was telling you there is somwthing wrong with your ex. I dont think you were overreacting at all. I think you followed your discernment.  It is very odd he kept emphasizing the "little girl" part.  Trust me there was nothing innocent about that and he knew exactly what he was doing. Question, are you also young looking for your age?

You're not overreacting, he gave you the ick! You can break up with anyone for any reason. And I agree that a pattern of these kinds of behaviors would give concern. "Little girl"... Ok maybe he listens to too much 80s music, but then the thumb sucking thing on top of it.... ugh. And people might come for me on this, but I think even if he did come out and say "well I have an age play kink," that would still be (an even bigger) red flag." Hear me out, I can understand someone having those kind of kinks on the submissive side due to whatever trauma, but I have HUGE concerns about any dude who goes "hell yeah, act like a little girl, that gets me hard!"

It sounds like he was into age play and you were not. It's hard to say about the other thing, except we know that you're an adult and he was dating you. It's totally fine to have hard lines on kinks, especially if they disturb you. If your partner tries to roll out a kink without your consent numerous times, it may be a good idea to end things.

No

Trust your gut. And "age play" is NOT normal. Pretending to be with a child? What in the actual ass pedophile fuck is that?

That is a complete deal-breaker itself.

Naaw he's weird.

Even if it isn't pedophilia, I still find these types weird and odd. I'm autistic and while I don't mind guys thinking I'm cute because of my regressed behavior and interests. When it's sexualized I get uncomfortable. Reminds me too much of grooming. Making every childlike thing I do sexual.

Exactly why I can't date daddy Dom types. They're all just so...weird + all the patronizing pisses me the fuck OFF. I like being babied sometimes but all the fucking time? Like be so fucking for real about how I can't do something. 😭😭😭💀

You casually drop that you suck your thumb towards the end of the post. Do you do anything else viewed as childish that would lead him to believe you'd be into age play? Because honestly, it sounds like he's trying to lean into your actions, that to a lot of people would seem weird af, and because of that you're ghosting him.

I've used little baby/little princess etc. but didn't mean it in an age related sense before. It does sound inherently age related and if you took it that way, then that's how it was to you and that's all that matters. The thumb sucking thing is sus, but I think you did jump to conclusions. Yes overreacting but not wrong to dump him if you wanted to.

No ignore those dumb people telling you not to trust your instinct,very few men have given me pedo vibes but the ones that did I immediately stopped all contact i trusted my gut because I know I have strong intuition.

The same ones saying you over reacted are the parents thats dont believe when their kids tell them either

You did the right thing,

Because it better to over react to a pedo vibe then undee react

Mop I’d have thought the same and he probably is

Next time pls add your updates under the original text

Anything sexual connected to children or childhood is sick. Don’t listen to anyone that tries to tell you otherwise. You can break up with anyone in any way you like, and you aren’t obligated to give them any reason or closure at all.

So many people have become so numb and desensitized because of porn an the admonition to “not judge” and “be inclusive” that what was once considered horrific is now just a “kink” or “lifestyle choice.”

He gets off sexually by having his partner pretend to be a child? Uhm……. To the people who DON’T see how this is a direct relation to being a pedo, or at the VERY LEAST points to a sick minded individual… I am extremely concerned & hope none of you are around children. Big yikes. Op, run far FAR AWAY from this man.

Listen to your gut. If it doesn't feel right, then it probably isn't.

Yes

Low grade age play is not pedophilia.

TBH it sounds like you have some unresolved trauma around CSA and are projecting that on him. If he was truly a pedo he wouldn’t be interested in sex with you, an adult female and furthermore he wouldn’t be getting aroused by you. He is not a pedo, you are reaching and need to get help to deal with what happened to you that is resulting in this dysfunction as an adult.

Girl, TRUST YOUR GUT. He may not be a pedo, but your gut said run. So stay gone!!!! As my favorite podcast says “be weird, be rude, stay alive!” #crimejunkie

Lmao reddit here doing legit mental gymnastics trying to justify pedophiles, or at the least weird child kink shit.

Your weird kink can diaf

Break up with him if you want, but calling him a pedo is so obscenely beyond overreacting it isn't even funny. You are doing him a massive favor by breaking up with him, good luck with your next one.

Overreaction? Yes.

Pedo? No.

Wild to not talk about things that make you uncomfortable with your so-called partner. Was there not a shred of doubt in your mind? To me, it seems that this was just the icing on the cake for you to end the relationship. Next time, communicate with your partner.

If you wanted to break up with him, no problem. But as far as his being a pedo: I would need a LOT more evidence than what you provided. If those 2 things are the only things, then no, my guess is that he is indeed not a pedo and you massively misjudged, which would make me question (from a sincere place) if you maybe either (a) have some difficulty understanding social/personal emotions and contexts (maybe on the spectrum?) or (b) you've been very sheltered and you haven't had as much experience in dealing with people as the average person.

In any case, live and learn.

Run.

You’re definitely overreacting. The way you handled it was atrocious. Nothing you said makes him a pedo and you just basically shit on this dude because you ascribed one of the worst possible things known to humanity to this guy based on pretty much nothing. Yeah, people build you up and tell you you can do whatever you want blah blah blah, which is true you can break up with him for no reason at all, but you handled it like shit and whether you like him or not as a basic human courtesy what you did was shitty I’m not going to fault you for wanting to break up with the guy that’s your prerogativebut be a fucking adult. I’m not sure where you got pedo out of that whole thing, but that might speak more to your own trauma and problems so the advice for therapy is probably a good one. You should apologize to him tell him what happened and then go get some therapy.

Sounds like you are having mental issues

Plot twist: both are pedos😂

Well. You're clearly not a match. Someone dodged a bullet...