Quick background, I had way too much freedom online from fairly early in my childhood. I started using MySpace the summer between 4th and 5th grade. I quickly learned of MyYearbook (now known as meetme) and moved to that site. I was sexualized very quickly (online and physically in previous years leading to this) and fell into the lap of a known predator for months. I would love to talk more about it especially if it can help educate others on how easily this happens. AMA
I was groomed by an internet predator for months when I was 10/11.. AMA
Mine turned into a multi state investigation that went on for months and months.. I was questioned every Friday night by a cop in a small town. It was horrifying.. everyone knew. They had to alert the school because I wasn’t allowed to leave with anyone except my siblings and parents. I couldn’t even go on walks for a while anymore. All school staff were notified of his name, make/model of his car, and the ‘circumstances’ surrounding me. It felt like everyone was looking at my for a year straight
I’m so sorry. My parents never looked on my AOL and I didn’t speak on the phone. I hope you are well. Life online can get pretty dark.
I want to add that I don’t want to make you think what happened to me is worse because it’s all horrible! People are disgusting and it really does affect us in ways we don’t realize. Thank you!
And that was just the aftermath.. I had to relive every conversation I ever had with this person multiple times in front of strangers and my parents. Some of the conversations were not something I ever wanted my parents to know because I did trust him. Absolutely humiliating.
No..it was worse, but thank you for that. 🤍 I couldn’t imagine having everyone finding out and reliving it over and over again. I got to keep these weird things that happened (mostly) to myself. It really is weird how some things don’t affect us until we are the age of the people that have done certain things and think to ourselves, I would never!! You are very strong.
thanks for being willing to share your story.
question: when did you start to realize you were being groomed?
So at some point we moved from chatting online to calling on the phone.. at the time I didn’t have a cell phone so I just used my home phone and I had told him this because I told him when to call so I could answer.. we talked for HOURS everyday on the phone and at some point the phone bill was brought up. At this point I was like 11 so I obviously had no idea about call logs, but of course he did. He had told me to go through the bill and take out the pages that included his number. I did do this, but something in me felt really weird about it. I let it marinate for like a day before telling my mom that I had a “boyfriend.” She flipped out of course and that’s when it all came tumbling down.
wow to manipulate a child into doing that is just weird. your instincts were right and glad you followed them.
again, thanks for sharing. i think identifying how in the early stages really helps crack down on this predatory behavior.
Good question!
My daughter is your age, and went thru something similar. Luckily, I am a WAAAAY orverly involved parent and caught it early. Traced the bastard to Canada and called him myself. He was a pathetic 21 year old living in mommy's basement. I'm sending huge hugs because I know how my daughter felt afterward.
Ugh I’m so sorry.. I don’t blame my parents because they just didn’t know how bad it is, they’re from an older generation but they definitely were on top of me afters
What do you think about your parents? Do you agree or disagree with the way that they raised you? What age would you suggest kids be able to be on social media?
I adore my mom and have a rocky relationship with my dad. They’re still married so I still have contact with my dad because of my mom. My parents made a lot of mistakes, but they struggled with addiction. My dad more than my mom and I’ve forgiven them for many. I know they could only raise me with the knowledge they had at the time and they’ve apologized many times for everything that’s happened to me. For not protecting me.
Social media and children scare the absolute shit out of me. I have a teenage niece that has access to social media and it gives me anxiety because I know how easy it is to fall into this trap. I think it’s a case by case situation, you have to know your child. However, no matter how well you think you know they still are a child and probably won’t tell you everything. Because of that if you give your child access to the internet you HAVE to monitor it. My parents had no idea how easy it was for someone to get to me, afterwards they considered sending me away to try and hide me for fear of kidnapping. They’ve learned their lesson and so has my siblings in respect to how they’re raising their own children.
What's your favorite kind of haircut
Really love long hair on men 🫣 and I love medium length bobs on women
Did he get arrested ?
Yes he did but after that I’m not sure what fully happened. My parents tried to “protect” me from it. I’ve often wondered what happened to him. The sick thing about it is intellectually I know he’s a disgusting and vile human but emotionally at the time he meant so much to me. I truly fell in love with this man and wonder if he’s okay. I’ve talked about it briefly in therapy but it’s something I avoid because the inner turmoil I feel over the feelings I have makes me feel sick.
I also apologize for my long answers, I know I kinda rant in them but I just never talk about this to anyone. It’s easier to talk when no one knows who I am and can judge me. I’m 27 now but it’s deeply affected me
I was too. I was fully stockholmed. For 3 years.
It has been over a year since no contact, and it is a very hard to process and get back your life. The PTSD is awful. I am now in DBT.
Be well. 🌹
Same. I honestly never thought about it until a few years ago. I’m now 35 and I was in the chatrooms like 11/f/NY ..the amount of IMs and dirty photos/conversations. Yikes 🥹 I feel for you 🤍