Have care took her for 3 years during her hellish war with cancer. the plan was to ride it out at home with painkillers but unfortunately our plans came to an end today. 4 days ago she got extremely sick, extreme bouts of nausea and vomiting. she was so bad I had to crush her pills and mix them with tang powder so I could pop them into her cheeks to absorb.
Unfortunately today she started foaming out of her mouth and nostrils so we had to call an ambulance. they've got her loaded with the max painkillers she can take and she'll have a smooth ride out, it wont be home like she wanted with her little pug and that devastates me. honestly shes been gone mentally for 2 or so days. the last thing she said to me was are you doing okay... like can you even believe it?
I am writing this to try to sort out my feelings, I feel really alone at the moment. I really miss you mom. even now her body still holds on, she went through so much. this is such a train wreck. I truly hope you all never experience such a thing.
EDIT - I had no idea so many people would well wish and it is really helping me right now so thank you all very much. and one thing for perspective for some, in my eyes i'm just waiting for my moms prison to crumble so she can escape to peace. shes already gone. her brain is likely nearly dead from o2 deprivation. shes been gone for 2 days really. when I said trainwreck I left out a lot of details. the past 4 days has been a literal train wreck. 3 years of hell in that body.
I am kind of sleep deprived last I slept was 4am 2 days ago so i've been up a while and have splitting head ache -_-
Got a bit of sleep and my headache is finally gone, holy moly I cannot believe how many well wishes and I appreciate it so much. the warrior is still holding on, how much must she suffer. she is very comfortable though so that is good. I think I have been told "she has probably a couple of hours left" like 4 times now. I hope she will pass in peace =C
She passed at 630 this morning. rest in peace momma. she held on so long. breathing unassisted for two days off anything. god she fought so much.
I am reading your comments today as comfort. my sister came to make sure I was okay. my mom was the most sociable person I have ever seen in my entire life and knowing so many people are giving me well wishes she'd be tickled pink. she'd want to talk to all of you and ask about your lives and make jokes so you can laugh. when I wrote this post I honestly thought it would be taken down by the moderators, I was just trying to sort feelings out. but i'm glad it didn't. your comments are providing me a lot of solace.
Everything in our home reminds me of her =c this is gonna be a tough week.
You will never believe it. My aunt suddenly passed today... same day as my mom. My other aunt is shocked... I feel so bad for her. She lost two sisters today and was diagnosed a few months ago with the same cancer as my mom =[
Will be my last little edit. reading this post gives me great comfort. I intially had the plan to sit back one afternoon and respond to each message but.... well that isn't happening haha. I hope this remains up for a long time so I can look at it for solace. thanks again everyone for the well wishes my mom would be really really happy to interact with everyone, that is what she loved the most in life. she could sit there and talk and talk to anyone and everyone.