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NTA. His loss. BTW, his mother have a husband why is the husband not at her beck and call. I think MIL is playing the passive- aggressive game of see I can have my son anytime I want Even when you are birthing his child. i think she is threatened by you and is pulling these stunts to re-claim her mama’s boy. Good luck with the dynamic. I have a feeling it won’t be the end of the mommy dearest. Congrats on your baby.
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3d
So she is using your husband as her surrogate husband since her bf is useless. Its called emotional incest. Have him move in with his mommy
Mothers of sons are literally infected with the y chromosome so they only think about those boys. Because these mamas boys have to be trained in this patriarchy that women will always be their mommies and if his wife doesn't want to be his mommy his mommy will be his wife! It's kind of sick, how these mother-son pairs develop... Bleh.
Jfc, can we please not blame sh*tty behavior on the part of moms and/or their sons on being “infected with the Y chromosome”? Gross take. People with psychological issues (or people who are just straight up selfish and narcissistic) are going to raise their kids in a messed-up dynamic. Or have you never seen moms who try to turn their daughters into their BFF/therapist/“mini me”/vicarious vessel to achieve their own failed ambitions?
For every mom like you described, I know a feminist trying to raise their sons to be good men and allies. For every mom you described, I also know a tradwife #girlmom sending their daughter to “purity balls” with Daddy and telling them they don’t need to go to college because true fulfillment lies in being a wife and mother.
It's actually what happens, there are residuals of the y chromosome that stays in the mom's brain and other organs. So she's more likely to really side with her boy no matter what. Women can treat their daughters like utter shit. Mental illness is a thing, but this guy is a Mama's boy and mama is manipulating for all her son's attention. What's gross is how often men abandon their wives for their mommies and sit in the car ignoring urgent messages. It's okay to be JFC defensive over reality.
Fetal cells can be found in the previously pregnant person’s brain and body, yes. Mothers of sons are the reason this was first discovered, because of the surprise of finding male cells in a woman’s body, and they are often the focus of research for the same reason. However, it is not unique to sons. Women who are pregnant with daughters also get fetal cells transferred. And yet women can treat their daughters like shit, despite their brains and organs being infected with the daughter’s DNA, right?
Furthermore, if you have older siblings, you likely have THEIR cells transferred from your mother to you. Do you find yourself constantly siding with your older sibling no matter what? It’s because you’re infected with their cells, obviously!
Huh, fascinating. Not sarcastic there. Maybe it IS why some people are able to side with their kin no matter what? But I'll not repeat the trope, monster. Ya done got me.
Well that was a disarming response when my ADHD brain was evidently looking for a fight 😅 I 300% agree that the mother/son dynamic here is creepy and part of a larger societal trend, but in my experience it seems tied to culture, the mom’s mental health, and the mom’s internalized misogyny.
I went on a deep dive about fetal cell transfer when I was pregnant (with a boy, thus why I got heated right off 🙃) and it’s just incredibly interesting, honestly. There’s some evidence that maybe the mom’s body fights the fetal cells and gets a stronger immune system from that, and yet other stats indicate that fetal cells may contribute to some autoimmune diseases. Fetal cells seem to help with maternal healing (they’ve been found in C-section scars and healed liver tissue, iirc), but they’ve also been found in tumors and seem to increase the risk of certain cancers. Fascinating stuff. I’m not at all closed to the possibility that it somehow bonds family units/has a psychological impact on moms—and kids, who also get a dose of their mom’s cells.
It really is fascinating! There's so much we don't know and our natural world and bodies are pretty amazing. Thanks for sharing all that because I didn't know (clearly) the intricacies of this phenomenon. Wow! I want to dive deeper now.
I'm an angry feminist so I get heated easily regarding various things, too. I'm not a "#kam" (k!ll all men) radfem but I come across as just as ugly and disgruntled as that faction of radfem At Times... I also have had numerous bad experiences with mothers of boys who do bad things and those mothers side with their little y-chrom terrorist... But, as you pointed out, and as I'm well aware yet still get stupid angry despite this knowledge, all people have the capacity to be horrible, disappointing, cruel, etc. I know women can be horrid humans, too, and honestly interacting with some women have made me wish I weren't a feminist. I just easily direct my ire toward specific targets "in the moment" because I'm an angry reactive radfem, heh... Although I'm married to a wonderful man who makes me want to have his son sometimes. I'm never having kids and I have blocked off most sentimentalities and society's romanticization of having kids, I use course language, I hate people but I also love them... I'm fun at parties, yes.
To your last comment, it makes me think of generational trauma. Things are passed down. Maybe fetal cells are sometimes taken in to replace what Mom's body transfers to baby? It really is immensely fascinating. I believe in energies and our world is made up entirely of it. We have to be connected in so many ways with microscopic threads, cells, etc. Really interesting for sure.
Congrats on your little man. I love babies. I'm just a grumpy cvnt. ✌🏻