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AITAH for wanting to get an abortion even though my boyfriend is very pro-life?
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NTA
Get the abortion and let the chips fall where they may. I do not recommend going through with the pregnancy and adopting out. There is a chance he won’t agree to adoption when the time comes and you’ll be stuck raising the baby that you’re not ready for. The most loving thing you can do is not bring a child into the world when you’re not ready to be an active, financially secure & willing parent.
Your boyfriend may break up with you & that’s his right. You don’t want to be with someone who wants to force you to have a child you’re not ready for anyways.
As an adoptee given up at birth (she was 15), it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. Even with the best of adoptive parents, we have a lifetime of Issues. This is your decision only and it seems you’re smart to end the pregnancy. Be kind to yourself and I’m sorry you are facing this.
NTA.
NTA. I am also an adopted. I will say, I adored my adoptive mom, and she loved me unconditionally. She never made me feel anything but pure, selfless love. However, my adopted status was used against me by a pedophile as a weakness who threatened me with being taken away, from abandonment and shame. I allowed a monster to control my life from the time I was 3-10 then kept my secret until I was almost 20. And during that time I also had the trauma of not knowing why I was given away, where I belonged. It has taken years to heal from both of these traumas. And working with abused and trafficked boys and girls has also taught me that there are worse things than death. I am convinced if I hadn't been born into me, my energy would have been in other places, just as it will spill out in the universe and go off when my body can't take this much fabulous anymore. Remember that you don't need to tell all your secrets. You can simply say you lost the baby. You lost it at a clinic with caring physicians and nurses, or you took pills and literally lost it at home. You can both grieve the loss of potential, and there is no shame. I had multiple miscarriages before my son. It is okay to feel loss, and relief. Every baby wanted is a beautiful goal.
I am so very sorry for what you endured during your childhood. Or what should have been your childhood. Working with trafficked children must be incredibly difficult, but thank you for doing it. We need many more like you committed to helping that epidemic (that’s not the right word but it’s been a long day). I’m not surprised you ended up in a field helping the vulnerable.
Actually, I do it as a volunteer. 35 years and counting. I started in Oakland and now mainly do child abuse and child advocate, but the opioid epidemic has caused parents to sell their kids. I work with some wonderful police and medical people who call me in the middle of the night to help, then I often end up the child's advocate. I also come in and work with parents who don't know how to handle things and need to hear the process, and need to see people can get to the other side. And, finally, I sometimes lean on the right people to come forward and tell what they know. Sometimes when I am their unofficially helping a "family", I can get people comfortable enough to make an official statement later.
In Oakland,we used to go out, help the child prostitutes, try to get them off the streets. We would give them another number to call besides their pump and try to get the district attorneys to not prosecute. That is how I first met Kamala Harris. She was great with this. She went after pimps and trafficking though.