AITAH For Cutting My Friend Off Because She Lied About Having A Boyfriend?

Advice Needed

A few days ago, I told my friend I had a crush on her, but I didn't wanna pursue it because she always makes it clear to me and our other friends that she doesn't like relationships and isn't looking to be in one. When I told her, she repeated this AND said that if she was looking to date, she would consider giving me a chance. We were cool with each other after this.

Today, I'm in our group chat, and this random guy and her are acting all "lovey" towards each other, and everyone else is saying they're gonna get married as a joke. My brain was telling me what was happening, but I was praying it wasn't what I thought it was...until someone confirmed they were dating. I went inactive, and I left the group chat an hour later. I speak to her friend, and she told me they've been together for a while, and definitely before when I told her I had a crush on her.

She texted me soon after, asking why I left the group chat, and if it was because I found out. She then asked me to "please talk to her". I've left her on delivered and I don't want to respond. I really value our relationship, but I'm also really hurt that she lied about not being in a relationship to me, and I don't think my jealousy could handle seeing her and her boyfriend being all "lovey" in the group chat.

AITAH? Also some advice on how to handle the situation would be nice.

in AITAHby PangolinBig1062

63%

watchers1989

NTA. She lied. I will give you the best advice a younger guy can receive. Cut her off. Nothing ever good comes from staying friends with somebody you had/have feelings for. It just becomes messy and boundaries get crossed.

PatentlyRidiculous

She has you on the bench dude. If she gets bored, she might call you up to the big leagues

Quelala

NTA - but she probably hesitated sharing her relationship due to her fear of your reaction. Her trying to nonchalantly slip him into the group chat was kind of lame, but maybe the way it was easiest for her to reveal. You should talk to her to understand her motives and determine whether you want to continue the friendship.

ObscureCocoa

NTA. She didn’t want to hurt your feelings but she isn’t in to you. It’s up to you to consider if you value her friendship enough to know that she’s someone to had feelings for but she doesn’t have those same feelings towards you.

ElegantxXxNikka

NTA. You're not wrong to feel hurt and need space. She lied, and that's not ok, especially after u were open with her. But cutting her off might be too much.

PangolinBig1062

Do you think it would be a good idea to communicate with her about why I left after taking some space?

korean_redneck4

You were friendzoned big time. Good you finally walked away.

YuunofYork

-6

YTA. Please don't make snap judgments, here. It should be obvious to everyone that she was letting you down easy. It's also possible she was previously keeping her relationship secret for reasons you aren't aware of. The world doesn't revolve around you and YWBTA to assume somebody else's personal life was carefully curated to piss you off. That's what a psychopath would think.

Everyone faces rejection. Not everyone flies off into a jealous rage after the rejection and bitches to strangers on the internet about the technicalities behind that rejection. There's no reason two normal people can't remain friends, even good friends, after the conversation you had, whether it was true or not.

Now you're about to get 100 other responses from undeveloped children who equate white-lying with viciousness, but use your fucking brain for a minute and you'll realize that's not what happened at all.

Lyteral-Wazuu

She could have very well told the truth. She didn’t, instead she lied to him and then openly was affectionate with another guy directly in front of him. It’s literally just something you should do if you respect the person (like a friend.) you just lack empathy and you’re trying to make someone feel bad for being rightfully upset. Cmon now…