I’m posting this as anonymously as possible. I (m25) have been with my gf (f22) for six months, and she is so great. Some needed context is that my girl is white (blonde hair blued eyed white) and I am mixed (mom white dad black). My friend group is primarily black and mixed. My gf is the only white person in the group.

I started letting them meet her about four months ago. I think another needed context is that my girlfriend can be a little niave. I don’t know why but she is, but she is also just the sweetest person in the world and is very much a half glass full person.

When she first met them, the jokes started rolling in. I don’t even think she realized it at first but they were making fun of her for her skin color. One of the girls was primarily doing this, complementing her hair/makeup/clothes in a backhanded way, basically calling her names without doing it. Things like “oh I love when white girls do that” or “only you could get away with that because you’re white” or even “yeah I can’t wear that because I actually have an ass”. One time my gf offered her lipgloss to her and she belittled her about not understanding that they couldn’t wear the same lipstick because of the shade difference in their lips. They constantly made generalizing statements about white people, and then proceeded to ask her if she fit those as well. They frequently made jokes about her not wanting to do something because we are black and she’s white. My gf took it all in stride and like I said, I don’t even really think she noticed that they were actually kinda making fun of her. Whenever she would question something they would say “it’s black culture you’re fine” and she would just smiled and be like okay! I just told them to stop, and they realized that I wasn’t finding it funny so they eventually did.

This went on for a while, even though I told them so many times to stop. They stopped doing it in front of her at least. My girl never mentioned feeling hurt or anything by it so I figured that she was just more confident than I could ever be lol. Even when I apologized on their behalf or asked her about it she would be like “oh it’s okay.”

Well a few days ago we were seeing them again and my gf decided to bring them cookies. I thought it was so sweet and she is an excellent baker. So she did and the cookies were really good. As soon as she gives them to the everyone, the girl that is usually the main character in this, asks for the recipe. My gf excitedly texts it to her. Several mins later I can hear and see her, her bf, and another girl huddled around the phone and laughing and pointing. I asked them what’s up. They said nothing. But I could see that my gf noticed too. She asked them to see. And then they started telling her her recipe for the cookies was “white people shit” and that they wouldn’t make them like that, and that if she wanted to be in a black family she needed to make black food better.

I just saw my gf literally shrink down in embarrassment or sadness. She started to apologize before I just could not watch that. I went off on them, but specifically that girl, about how much of a fucking bitch she and they all have been. My girlfriend has done nothing but try to be their friend and try to be so sweet and they wouldn’t drop it. I told them that they might as well delete our numbers because I was picking her, and not allowing her to get verbally abused by them any longer just for being a nice person and for being fucking white.

I think my gf really did not know they were making fun of her. On the ride home she cried and asked if they really did hate her that whole time. I tried to say they didn’t hate her but I honestly could not say that they weren’t making fun of her. I feel like shit for letting it go on for so long. I guess I just hoped it would get more lighthearted. And it really was, to them, I guess. I don’t know.