AITAH for leaving my gf cuz she said she was gonna stay at her former fwb's house?

My gf and I have been together for about a year.

Her former fwb, let's call him M, has know her for about 5 years. Based on what my gf told me, while she considers him a friend, they've never actually done anything more than meet up at a bar and hook up, literally, they've never done anything else, but my gf still considered him a friend.

M actually lives about an hour away from our town, but we frequently go to that town because it's significantly bigger and more fun. We've run into M every now and then, and every time he hits on my gf.

The other day, my gf went out with a friend, i didnt go because i had an early morning.. Later she calls me and says she won't make it back, as she drunk too much and her friend left with a guy. She runs into M, and says M is gonna let her stay the night.

I told her this made me uncomfortable and offered to pay for a hotel, or if she's willing to wait, I'd come by and pick her up.

She insisted on staying the night with M. I asked one last time to please let me pick her up. She said it's fine.

I told her "fine then, we're done." And hung up on her.

She then called me again, texted me, left voice-mail. I ignored them.

We dont live together, but the next day she came over place and yelled at me. She insisted that nothing happened or was ever gonna happen, but I told her that I'm not gonna stress over if something happened or not, so I just broke up with her so even if something did happen, it's not my business.

in AITAHby Fickle_Advice_2441

6.8K

95%

2mo

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tristanjones

949

2mo

yet she just happened to run into him exactly when she needed a place to crash and refused the other options you supplied.

Yeah I'll buy that, it can be added to my collection along with the brooklyn bridge, and eiffel tower.

Just_Treading_Water

2mo

That's just small town life. The town I grew up in (around 60k people) only had 2 bars that anybody under the age of 30 went to. They went to one in the summer because it had a patio (even though the bar itself smelled like vomit), and the other one in the winter because the patio bar smelled like vomit.

If you were in town and you went out, you were pretty much guaranteed to run into everybody.

tristanjones

2mo

Well they are in a small town and go to the bigger town. Then she didn't run into him because he was already at the only bar but at the magic moment of time in the night she needed a place to crash but refused a hotel. The only evidence we have of the size is that they see him in the big town often but she is still the common factor. No reason to give her any benefit of the doubt with the evidence of the behavior we do have. Dude has a rat in his relationship

Just_Treading_Water

2mo

I absolutely agree, I just don't think there's any need to jump to "She planned to meet him."

It's more likely that they hang out in the same circle, so are likely to run into each other. Running into him isn't the problem (which is coincidence or circumstance) - it's the going home with him (which is a choice)

tristanjones

2mo

If she had taken his offers to pick her up or get a hotel I'd be open to a benefit of the doubt interpretation, as I too have lived in small towns with only 3 bars all on the same block. Since she didnt, I'm now in the occams razor cutting toward the most critical yet rational interpretation.

Just_Treading_Water

2mo

I think Occam's Razor is that she likely ran into the dude coincidentally rather - especially considering she and her BF had run into him off and on multiple times.

For it to have been planned would require the advance planning, secret contact, and then lying about it later, and maintaining a cover up (if the BF didn't end it).

It just seems like the simplest explanation is: She went out (as she often did), ran into her FWB (as she occasionally did), she was drunk enough that getting some benefits didn't seem like the wrong thing to do.

Bad, drunk decisions brought about the FO stage of her F'ing A.