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I was diagnosed with depression until after I had my kids, those pretty obvious. My 14-year-old just started showing a lot of signs so we talked I'm hearing my baby boy tell me that he feels like no one cares and no one would miss him was so hard. We had a long talk about how his brain is lying to him and it's hard to understand that when it's in the middle of its tirades but he can always come to me. We had some wonderful family friends who swooped in and helped and made what could have been a very awful situation into one that ended up leaving positive marks. Our brains can be insidious and I'm just so grateful that I am not having to help him through this alone just the two of us let alone that he's being left alone with these thoughts like I was
"Your brain is lying to you"
That's the big one for me. Someone I know was considering suicide and kept saying his kid would get over it. His kid would be better off without him. He couldn't see that he would destroy his kid. He would never do anything to hurt his child. He would take a bullet for him. But his brain was lying to him. The brain is capable of so much when it's working well. Then it pulls this shit when it's not.
You are your own worst enemy. After all, you're the only one you cannot hide your secrets from. And that's the scary thing because you will use them all against you and you will make a very compelling argument. Because you obviously make sense to yourself.
Oh I can lie to myself I do it all the time. Lol.
Anything capable of pulling off a placebo effect can override in some really awful ways too.
Yep, it's really good at lying to you. At my worst mine gets past the general thoughts of suicide and comes up with ideas to have it look like an accident because that might be easier on my friends and family.
Thankfully I only seriously thought about taking my own life once, but when I did I started thinking about how and where to do it and who would find my body. I didn’t want to subject my wife to that - probably a pretty good indication that deep down I knew that she still loved me and wouldn’t be better off without me, and if I loved her too much for her to find my body I also loved her too much to leave her in this world without me.
I suffer with depression as well and that bit about the brain lying to you is so spot on. I have 3 nephews and 1 niece and they are pretty much all I have. I was feeling down so I went to visit my niece. She’s 6 and the most beautiful girl in the world. We had ice cream and went to the park and on the way back she said, “you mean the world to me.” It was one of the happiest days of my life.
Just so you know... Kids who have a close relative who dies from suicide are statistically more likely to attempt themselves.... That knowledge made me reconsider attempting many times thinking about my young cousins....
I know. That’s why I could never try. I’m on this rollercoaster till the bitter end!
My lowest was probably 5ish years ago and it has honestly only gotten better. Keep at it!
My kids are why I am still here. I could not do that to them (this is not a judgment of others who have lost that fight. I have not been in their shoes I will not judge.)
Yes she sounds like the most beautiful girl.. what a sweet kid. PLEASE remember that..what she said and how it made you feel.. p s. That would make a nice little cursive tattoo 😁. Love and peace from Maine
Man these comments are making me choke up. You guys are wonderful!
I told my son the same thing, i.e., the lies I heard. I often wonder if that’s why he didn’t tell me what he was hearing before I lost him. I’m sure he knew I would take action if he shared his thoughts, and I hope that’s why he didn’t. Miss you, buddy. I’m so sorry.
I'm sorry for your loss. Unfortunately sometimes it doesn't matter what we say or how we support people the demons are just so much louder.
It may seem like a weird reference but there's an episode of Doctor who where they meet Van Gogh, given what you've explained I wouldn't advise watching it cuz it might be too hard. They show him how influential he is and how important his art is to Future generations. But it still isn't enough. I think the episode is handled very well to address the fact that sometimes it doesn't matter what we do nothing was going to stop what was happening.
I hope you are able to find peace
I'm proud of you for getting through it. You're worth making it through friend, your life is worth living. You are an inspiration.
Thank you
Same.
It’s why I tell everyone that depression is a lying asshole. It lies to you so hard.
Yup a lot of this. Been going through a very rough patch in my marriage (talks of divorce), no-contact with parents, lost most to all my friends especially in my city.
When these things happen it's easy to feel like no one cares and once you're there death becomes more attractive. Don't have to try anymore, don't have to hurt anymore. I'm glad I'm in therapy because idk where I would be without it.
I can identify with everything you are saying here.
You dunno where you would be? Probably where I am, I’ve been through therapy in the past. It’s something…. Scary? Calm? Unnerving that my brain now just accepts everything. I can literally get treated like a piece of human trash and for the most part, I can deal, as it doesn’t stick. Where things fell apart for me was the line between it being healthy to self improve and or just coasting.
Cuz I think that’s what I am now, just coasting, as you said, no family, no friends, feel as if respect is something I will never feel again. Love, don’t even get me started with that, I’ve had mine stepped on and used against me to the point where I’m not sure if I can activate its feelings any longer.
Anyhoo I wanted you to know there are others out there and congrats and keep it up you sound like you are on the right path. Take care
Been there too. Tried OD'ing August 2022. My system crashed so hard that they used Levophed as a last resort.
I remember waking up in ICU and my first thought being, "That was the stupidest fucking thing I ever did." Because once I was out of crisis, I could fucking think. Depression robs you of that.
I've got changed meds, and have a dedicated psychiatrist I trust. I'm still dealing with the aftermath, including recently learning I fucked up my kidneys.
The hardest part is that it starts small, you stop doing the things you like to do, you stop looking for new things to enjoy, it doesn’t feel like that’s where you’re heading because it’s just small things all piling up until you realize how far it brought you, but the good thing is that it’s not a path that will lead to an end it’s just forward motion without any wrong direction
It’s terrifying to realize how obvious and logical these thoughts seem when you’re like that, too. It just makes sense! But when you’re in a better place, even just a little better, it’s plain that those thoughts and feelings are nonsense imposed by darkness.
I am in that place and have been there for years. I do realize how much pain i’m inflicting to my relatives, but at the same time i’m too much of a coward to finish myself. and i’m afraid there is no going back to the other side for me as it’s been so long i don’t even know how different it can be, not for me, i’m too damaged
"No matter how long the night, the morning will always arrive"
Monochrome, by Babymetal. (Translated from Japanese)
You are not a coward, just posting this is proof of that! You're still here, you're still fighting! You're fighting the hardest battle a person can fight and you're still here!
There is always a way back it just takes time, there is always hope. There is no damage that can't be fixed.
Find something that gets you to tomorrow, a band, a movie, a book, a bowl of icecream, whatever it takes. One step at a time.
I listen to Babymetal. There is something about Suzuka's voice that just makes me feel better. It helps me get to tomorrow. You can find yours too.
I was there, I made it back, you can do it too.
Congrats on getting out.
I'm on the verge - most of the time I'm sure I'm just useless hunk of meat wasting good oxygen. Spent two weeks looking at the ceiling and wishing I just could stop breathing. I promised my wife I won't kill myself, but it's getting harder. Mental health doctor said that if I still care enough to visit her, my depression is not that bad. I have Asperger's (or ASD) so talking to anyone about what I feel is difficult. I called two more places - both sent me back to a face 2 face visit with that first lady doctor.
You don’t think you will leave that big of a hole when you are gone, but you will leave a much bigger one then you expect. - Jordan Peterson
I lost my father 2 years ago to his depression.
This is exactly what he said in his note. That he didn't want to be a burden on anyone. I would have much rather him ask for help, stay at my place; than the permanent scars that he's left on me.
He made such an impact on many people's lives, and is truly missed by them. I miss him everyday...
Can confirm. I was at that level for some time aswell, and it took some time for me to realize that my family would in fact miss me. While I'm still struggling with mental issues now, I'm progressively getting better because I was pulled 8ut if that state of mind.
I’ve been there as well.
My pets helped me so much, because they need me, and want me here. They seek me out a follow me around because they love me and they want my attention.
I barely made it and still surprised I'm not dead.
All this bullshit about "you have to love yourself before anyone else can" almost cost me everything. Someone loving me when I thought I was unlovable is the only reason I'm still around.
Sometimes you just need help. I kept asking and no one would. Eventually, right before I did, they came along.
Now I'm in the process of training for ultramarathons and haven't been drunk in like 5 years.
I'm aware of all of this, it's the worst part. I'm majorly depressed, have wanted to kill myself for 25 years but won't, or can't, because of what it would do to my parents and my sister and her family. I take medication, have had long-term therapy and still have access if I want it, am educated, have a decent job, have basically had everything I even needed available to me or even handed to me and it still hasn't changed anything. I have no family of my own though and it's devastating to me and not fixable at this point, really nothing to show for my life and a big part of it was due to my depression. I'm 47
I'm so sorry that you had to go through that and I'm grateful that you have made it this far. Keep grinding. 👊
That’s exactly how I feel. I’ve had bipolar disorder since I was 13 and I’ve felt the highest euphoric highs and the lowest I wish I were dead lows. I’m older than my grandmother who also had BP was when she unfortunately died due to depression and I think that’s a miracle. I’m going to keep going, and I’m so thankful for my medication, my support system, and the ability to live a healthy life.
I didn’t even just think that people wouldn’t miss me, I thought they would be better off. Much better of because I am the destroyer of worlds and all that I touch crumbles.
And then I came out on the other side and I am happy and I brighten the fucking world.
I'm the opposite I want to end it but my family needs me too much. I'm on medication to help but mental illness is brutal
My mother told me after we somehow started talking about suicide and generally being alive, that if she found out I was dead, she would just end her own life. And she said it with one of the most serious faces I've ever seen her wear. That moment made me realize just how valuable my life truly is. I couldn't ever imagine her after figuring out I killed myself. She would not be able to function at her job, in her personal life, and it would just be so goddamn sad. I might seriously have issues with self hatred, but this woman, cares so deeply. And here I am just throwing my life away with drugs, self hatred, horrible habits. But at least I'm still here. At least I'm still alive. Every second I'm alive I have another chance.
You think you're a burden of everyone else. That everyone else is better off if you're gone. You think no one will miss you because of that. It's a delusion, a horrifying one. It's the worst feeling, and one that self perpetuates.
The irony of depression is, while it convince you that nobody cares about you, it also make you hella self-centered.
When my spouse was at her worst depression, she started talking about "ending it". I was down on my knees and begged her stop saying that, for the sake of our child and me. She apologized, but seemed unmoved.
Later, when the episode was over, she told me during a depression episode, it feels like all emotions are turned off. Except bad ones. Which made her extremely self-centered, so she stopped caring other's feelings during that.
She is much better now, if you wonder.
If you know somebody who is going through a hard time and you would miss them, make sure to reach out and tell them just that. Sometimes, all we ever hear is negativity and how we mess everything up. Reaching out means more than you would ever know. But it also doesn't happen enough.
Exactly. If you were to know me, you would have never believed I was as sick as I was, mentally I mean. I hid it so well. People thought I was so resilient but I was so dead inside for years. Only my nephews knew my desperation and sadness.
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1mo
I know the feeling. But it gets better. If there are any good people around you, surround yourself with them the best you can. And try to avoid the corny people when you can. I totally relate to the feeling of not having the room to heal. Try giving yourself a vacation (if you can afford to) or give yourself and hour or so every day just to yourself. Hope this helps! Remember, it always gets better.
Thank you. I am trying. It's just been one thing after another for the past few years and I wish I could rest, but I can't. I'm doing what I can, though.
Whatever's getting in your way is temporary. I've found making time to rest instead of waiting for it has helped me a lot. I don't know your exact circumstances, but I hope that helps a little.
I wish it was easy to see, what do you do when no one sees it coming? I had a uncle who was loved and cherished by everyone around him. Father of three great kids, wife of 40 plus years, two grandkids who adored him. He was the kindest person and best uncle who always showed up for me. He woke up early one morning drove from his home and left this world. He didn’t give anyone a chance to stop him. Life for his family will never be the same, the pain will always be there, the question of why or why didn’t I will always be there. I didn’t know the real devastation of suicide until it touched my family. The pain and grief is unfathomable
I'm no stranger to it. But it's not always easy to see. That is why it is important to always let people know what they mean to you. I'm probably sharing too much or whatever, but nobody around me ever tells me anything positive. It's constant negativity. I am only here to solve problems. If I don't, then I am a problem. Even at this very moment, in my personal life, I'm dealing with a lot of problems from others while I haven't heard a single kind thing in who knows how long. It gets to be overwhelming. Posts like OP's are what help me. Just always try to spread kindness.
Yo, I just want to say you sound like a great and kind person and it sucks that no one ever tells you that. You deserve to be seen for your personality and not just as someone who fixes problems. Stay strong bro
Thank you. As you'll see in most replies to my comments on this, people are being jerks. It's unreal. Just kind of furthering my point, if you will. But I deeply appreciate you. Thank you.
You seem like a very thoughtful and kind person, and you are loved!
I also lost my uncle to suicide. My aunt was suffering from terminal cancer and he couldn’t take it anymore and ended it right infront of her. The pain and anguish that went through my family was like a tsunami. I still tear up to this day thinking about it. I have eventually accepted the fact that it happened, and some things are just truly out of our control. The would’ve, could’ve, should’ve’s are no longer relevant. There’s now a hole in my heart that I have learned to live with. I loved my Uncle, my last memory of him was him asking me if I swallowed a watermelon (I was pregnant). I miss him every single day. But I have accepted his decision and find comfort in knowing I had the privilege of him being my Uncle in the time he was here on earth. I’m sorry for your loss too. It’s surely isn’t easy, I know from unfortunate experience. 🫶🏼
Same here. Lost my grandfather in a similar way. He just moved into a new house with his wife, they were repainting the walls white and then he just decided to paint his red. Nobody saw it coming.
This was 16 years ago. We have moved on but we have never forgotten.
Not only reach out but if they’re open to talking, ask them specific questions like how are you feeling and try dig deep. They often want to open up but feel the topic is too heavy (a burden) so you have to initiate and tell them you want to know.
I did a mental health course and they suggested the how are you convo is basically seeing what they say, if they say bad, then you have ask specific questions to know how bad, don’t be afraid of asking for details as that admission is the first step.
As someone who battles with Suicidal thoughts, shit like this keeps me fucking going man. I hate my life, and sometimes the temptation to just end it creeps in, but knowing that my friends and family would miss me keeps me going. Sometimes I convince myself that I wouldn't really be missed but I battle those thoughts thanks to posts like this.
Thoughts got the best of me a couple of days ago but seeing how my mum was elated when she came to pick me at the airport made me think otherwise. So , for her. I'll hold abit long for her .
You can do this friend, and you're absolutely right. Don't leave your mum without her child. She'll be distraught and utterly devastated without you. No matter what happens you'll always be her child, so be strong. You can do this, I promise
Oh man, haven't shed a tear in years.
Thank you, stranger.
And to you too, don't go yet. You can also do this . Be strong
I may falter, I may stumble and I may fall, but no matter how far that drop is, I will always get back up again
I don't know man. For me it kinda makes me feel trapped.
Feels like a barrier that just prevents me from suicide as opposed to something that motivates me to live.
I know they'll miss me, but this doesn't get rid of the pain.
I know. I know it weighs heavily, believe me I do.
But within you is the capability for so much good and change, I know things may seem bleak and without hope, but in those situations, there is the potential for so much good.
Remember this, without hope, without witness, without reward, that is pure, honest goodness. You have that inside you, the world is cold, bitter and uncaring, but you can make a difference, even in the smallest of ways, and it still counts.
Small victories are still victories none the less, and while it may go unnoticed to the rest of the world, if it matters to you then it is powerful all the same.
Don't give up hope friend, I know you can keep going, and if you do, you give yourself the chance at better days to come.
Thanks for your words. I'm in a better place in general, but I've unfortunately made a negative focus my main outlook on life. So posts like this make me react differently. I still find it great that you and the OP can look at life differently though.
I feel that.
Idk what I'd do if I didn't have my son. Hell, I even feel a level of responsibility for my dog. Wouldn't want to leave her all alone. I wouldn't want to do that to the people who care. Something like that leaves a burden heavier than anything I can do while I'm alive.
Same, random internet friend, same.
i am so glad i reached out for help before my attempts were successful.
there will ALWAYS be someone who cares about you.
I'm proud of you for doing that. You're wonderful and absolutely right. People care about you, no matter how much you convince yourself otherwise
I'm glad you're still here :)
Glad you’re here op! And yeh there is always someone who cares abt you! Even when things are looking absolutely terrible someone out there wants to see you smile :)
That's wrong tho ? Some people have no family no friends, they could totally disappear nobody would notice
I'm proof that's true. It's incredibly painful when people say that someone cares or their advice is to reach out to a loved one. I don't have anyone.
How do you justify that without evidence? How do you convince yourself? That seems a big challenge.
Not always true, my brothers are dead (one suicide, one drug overdose), and my family still treats me like shit rather than trying to be more sensitive after the losses I've experienced, lol.
Some families are irredeemable fucking trash.
I’m glad you said it. I was afraid of being downvoted to hell for pushing back. People’s lives are complex and this post is overly simplistic.
It’s easy to care about the dead. It’s easy to set up auto-payments after the fact. It’s much harder to actually show up in someone’s life, especially when they’re struggling.
“It’s easy to care about the dead.” Glad someone said it. I kept my struggles hidden for years and when I finally opened up about them, it pushed people away. Many people don’t know how to handle engaging with someone who is actively suicidal, let alone when it’s a chronic problem. I’m not saying don’t get help—I’ve been in treatment for six years—I’m just saying it’s not so simple. I know people would throw a fit and be traumatized forever if I threw in the towel. But it’s also not fair that they won’t show up when I’m alive.
I experienced the same thing. I had a friend was went through a huge patch of depression and what I heard people say about her was devastating. i had to remove people from my life because of the way they treated her.
The worst part is that, on some level, this post's thought process is kind of tapping into victim blaming? Not entirely, but at least partially. Because what I'm seeing is "Don't you-know-what, people will be sad and miss you".
And I'm over here like - but they sure as hell don't miss me now. If no one is reaching out to me, making sure I'm alright, why should I care if they're going to be alright when I'm gone? It's easy to suddenly pretend as if you always cared, when it's too late. And I hate how many people do that.
I've been experiencing this for a long time now. Especially one of my IRL friends keeps saying stuff like "Doing nothing is also a choice", constantly trying to spin the narrative so that I feel like I'm the problem. Not years of trauma, descent into what I am today, as no one ever cared to reach out or help me when things were at their worst. It's me, because I don't have enough strength to dig myself out on my own, even though I... Don't have enough strength due to what happened to me.
So why should I care if anyone will miss me? Despite highly doubting that'd be the case, people's favorite saying "time heals wounds" applies here. They'd forget soon enough, just like they forget about me or hand wave me and my problems away. I hate, hate how instead of actually trying to give depressed people actual reasons to carry on, they try to shift the blame basically and say "But YOU will ruin other people"... As if they haven't ruined me.
Thank you. I once saw something about how after Marilyn Monroe’s death, ex husband Joe DiMaggio put flowers on her grave every week until he died. A lot of people thought it was so sweet. I thought he should have given them to her when she was alive to enjoy them.
Yeah it’s just the common feel good garbage post. As if telling someone their parent loves them (which you don’t even know if that’s true) is magically going to improve their life.
Never be afraid of your opinions, especially if they're yours.
Living just to live is a garbage delusion.
Agreed. As far as I'm concerned, most posts like this are just corporate psy-ops to keep their wage slaves alive and working through shitty conditions.
It's much easier to virtue signal to say "keep living even though conditions suck for the majority of people!" instead of actually improving conditions and making live worth living for everyone.
Just keep going. Nothing else matters.
My Grandma had Alzheimers and was basically a husk the last 10 years of her 'life'. I'd listen to my Grandpa go on about how he regretted not doing things she wanted to do during those years and how he should have treated her better and all I ever thought was 'well a little late now'.
it’s the family you choose, man, not the one you were born with. sending virtual hugs 🫂
Thanks for saying that. Friends can help you too. There are and will be others out aide your shitty family who will care about you. Search and you will find the right people
Im glad you said it too.
Yeah I was thinking that too. My own father told me to just go and do it because nobody would miss me or notice anyway, ended up making an attempt only a month later.
And the funniest part is that he probably doesn't even remember saying that because to him it was just another day of treating his loved ones like trash and he never apologised (for anything, really). I wouldn't know though, 4 years no contact, best choice I ever made.
The tree remembers, the axe forgets, etc.
My mom found my diary and read what was causing my depression and doubled down to do more of those things.
I attempted in my 20s and failed, but realized that the people who would miss me were the ones quietly in my life and NOT my family.
The kids at the school and my co-workers. The players on WoW that I had joined a guild in. Who was going to fill that hunter spot in their tiny guild group? I was the only one
Family isn't the be all and end all friend. Connections are important, no matter how distant. You can do this ❤️
People who grow up in families like that rarely make any healthy connections. In many cases, they just didn't learn how, for lack of any example.
Thank you 🖤
Exactly... I'm glad some people have friends they can call family but regardless of what you've been told, people who don't is not because of lack of trying... Some don't have the ability because no one is born with the ability to connect, that's developed as a child based on what you learn from parental figures... Guess what kind of parents tend to not help their children with meaningful connection and often isolate them instead
Very sorry to hear that. Sometimes you have to build your own supportive new family out of the best people you meet along the way. It's unfair.
Just know you have more value than anyone who treats you poorly realizes.
This is such shit advice. People most often get into this spot because they have tried to build connections with people and everyone tosses them aside.
My parents tried to kill me... You think they'll miss me?
My first thought.
Oh my god, my heart 💔
Dad of three here. This is absolutely soul crushing, that poor fucking family. Child was obviously young enough to still get an allowance 😭😭😭
Dad of one Noah here... Thankfully Blippi made it to where he didn't notice me crying.
As wholesome as this is, it's not the case for everyone. Even when people know you're dealing with a lot, either because you've made it known or it just shows by your demeanor, they don't care. They have their own lives to live, no time to make someone a concern. They only care when it's too late and the regret kicks in.
I struggle with major depressive disorder and SI And my friends and family NEVER check on me. I’m always checking in on them.
Mind you I moved to a new state with my husband who deployed two months later. No family here and I’ve only managed to make a couple of friends since I work from home.
I often wonder how long it would take for anyone to notice I’m gone. A solid month at least. Unless my boss finds a way to contact my family.
I can understand that first part of always being the one to check in on others. It's made me think that either some people like recieving care without reciprocating or they show care for others except the one who shows it to them.
I've decided that since they don't want to make me a priority in their lives, that I'm gonna take it as a sign that I'm not needed and finally move on and away. It won't make a difference to them if I'm here or not.
It will make a difference. People are inherently selfish so they don’t think about it till it’s too late. Doesn’t mean they don’t care. Culturally we just suck at keeping in touch with our families.
Yeah but I won't be here to see that difference. That's the beauty of it. The "care" that they'll show afterwards is just guilt.
I strongly urge you call the crisis line at 988
Idk what you’re going thru but please feel free to PM me to talk.
Eh yo, thanks for the concern but I ain't killing myself, I'm just moving away from everyone to start fresh and live life without being tethered to anyone.
Well I commend you for doing something so bold. Takes a lot of courage to start over. Best of luck.
Its also not wholesome lol. Its depressing. It reminds me of MadeMeSmile getting flooded with sad content
For like four years I've been in-between commiting or not. Like I don't have much but on the other hand what about the small things I do?
This is....something. I doubt I'd even get my actual name on my grave but still I don't know. I've wondered about how people would react to my death before I wonder if anyone would even hold my funeral
Idk man suicide is such a weird topic to try and discuss cause nobody likes the idea of someone being dead especially not if they feel they could've prevented it
There are a lot of people who would never get peace from you cutting your story short and that’s the main one(s) is you. Take as many moments that you need to think of all the versions / younger versions of you and listen to what they needed in each of those moments.. Try this as many times as you need. You might get a lot of things and that’s a good thing because this is your purpose. Walk with those versions of you each day and help one another. They are your most powerful allies and you are theirs. Now hold yourself close and close your eyes and with all the love in your heart tell every version you “you’re going to be ok, I promise”. Because you’re going to be ok, I promise 🫂
Shit man, I don't even know who you are and I'd be sad if you died. I can guarantee you that people would miss you more than you think.
So which fucker is cutting onions in here?
Damn Ninjas with their stealth onion cutting technique
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1mo
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Now I'm low key crying at work
But this feels like a trap too. They love you, so you can't die without moving your pain over to them. There's nothing you can do other than live with your horrible feelings.
This genuinely scares me, and I'm glad I'm able to survive my thoughts since it's clear that there's no way that I can easily get rid of them without hurting those I love.
Yep. "There are people who love you" always just sounds like, "I know that you're in constant agony, but you should keep suffering anyway because you'd be selfish otherwise." Living for the benefit of others is hardly living at all.
I've always thought it was strange calling suicidal people "selfish", like surely we should be providing them positives that they will enjoy by continuing to be alive rather than threatening them with negatives if they die? I've never been suicidal or had any experience helping anyone with it though so I really don't know, but I've always wondered why it's the norm.
When people see someone who is suicidal, their reaction never seems to be "How can we make this persons life better?" but rather "How can we take away their sense of control to an extent they dont feel confident killing themselves?" and its honestly pretty gross.
'You are loved' is the dumbest shit... there are many of us who are not and are only alive because there isn't a safe way to go. You can only do it in a violent or painful way when you are in crisis.
I honestly find that saying makes me feel worse. Not everyone has family or friends.
The vast majority of people arent loved by anybody, its like people dont understand how rare that shit is
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1mo
right in the feels....
it's a terrible day for rain
As someone who’s lost loved ones to this, we never stop missing you. Life’s never the same. Please stay. People need you around
Welp, not mine.
Mine either, and it fucking sucks, but that doesn't mean someone won't.
Awww. This would make me feel so much better about myself if my father wasn't abusive. If he does want me to live it's only so he can make me suffer more for the sin of requiring money and love to stay alive as a kid.
You know, as wholesome as this is, my heart is in shambles right now.
Hearts heal with time. I hope you're OK.
Huh. So maybe somebody would actually give two shits if I killed myself
My friend killed himself over a decade ago. Our friendship wasn't even that deep, a few steps beyond acquaintances if I'm being honest. But even then I think about him about once a week. Wondering what he'd might be doing today. Wondering about how much pain he must have been in. Wondering if it was inevitable or if something could have helped. I'm a little surprised, too, all these years I never stopped thinking about him. But I knew him, he was real, he was alive and then one day he pulled a trigger and he was gone. It's haunting.
Why are you people so good at convincing. God dammit, fine, I'll live another day
... is it bad that my reaction to this was "well, yeah. Not for me tho" 😀
As someone who came damn close to joining Noah... Thank you for sharing that. It helps to remind us that there is someone who will care.
Or maybe people just don’t want to suffer? Non-masochism is not self-hatred.
honestly a bit tired of this narrative. not everyone is loved and will be missed. no one noticed my disappearance for many years now. i couldve succeeded in at least one attempt and no one would even know im dead. much less miss me
You know what's kind of funny about depression?
I could spend all day telling everyone else around me, every single person I interact with, how amazing they are, how the world is a better place with them I'm it, how they're loved, and fully believe it.
Yet when I go home and look in the mirror, all I have is contempt for what I see, who I am. All I see is a worthless pile of garbage that would be better off put out to the curb.
People have always told me, "You have to love yourself before you can love others." Wrong. I HATE that I love everyone around me and seek to find the good in them, but I still abhor myself.
Sorry... didn't really contribute anything to the topic at hand.
If only the suicide hotline wasn't a joke. They legit hang up on you, after not helping
Damn you, onion cutting ninjas
I am not Noah.
I called one once. They asked me if I was “really” about to do it. They said there were other more serious people. They did absolutely nothing to help me.
Lots of people are socially isolated though, and don't have close friends or living parents to mourn for them.
Biggest suicide group is mid fifties men.
what if it's true. what if I am better off dead.
I can honestly say no one will miss me for very long. Is that my fault for keeping my distance from everyone in my life? Sure is. It's I undeniably true
:( I am tired.
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1mo
Thats truly is nice, and I don't want to take away from it... But everybody doesn't have a dad like Noah's Dad.
Maybe make people feel loved while they’re alive then.
So what? Humans have to experience unlimited suffering because some one might get sad? So let's torture an animal dying because you might get sad?
If that's true, if they'd miss me when I'm gone, why is it so easy for them to justify being horrible? Why are they ok with no contact?
I didn't get beaten up nearly every day of my childhood because I was "loved" - I got beaten up nearly every day of my childhood because people wanted me dead.
I mean, why the Hell else would you beat someone up - an action that could reasonably result in the victim's death?
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1mo
ik my words might not reach you, but life can change. theres so much to do, and so many possibilities in this world. youre young, and theres so much you can do with ur life. u might stay local or buy a one-way ticket but know that life doesnt have to be terrible. ur the master of ur own fate.
also? prove everyone who doubted you wrong. prove yourself wrong. u are capable, u are strong, and u do matter. u can find happiness in this world, i promise its out there, even if it seems like a vague memory from a life that isnt yours. you deserve great things. give urself that chance.
I hope that things get better for you, but please don’t make any more attempts! Why do you think people would want to keep you from doing that? They care for you and want you around! I’ll pray for you, friend. Wishing the best
There’s nothing wrong with suicide. The only wrong thing is that euthanasia is not widely and freely available.
They who?
A friend of the family died in a shoot out with the cops, after putting several family members at risk.
How do they talk about him? With anger, that he was so thoroughly failed by the systems meant to help him, and the people who called themselves his friends, and sorrow, because they lost someone they loved.
It takes a great deal for people to hate you when you're gone.
It's been almost 8 years since my son, Max, committed suicide. I miss him every second of everyday. I would do anything to bring him back.
I’m so sorry ❤️
What if there’s only one person in your life that really cares and they’re really sick?
Jokes on you. Doesn't matter if there's no one to miss you. I'm almost at that point myself.
Good thing I don’t have a dad then eh
I have this niece I share a birthday with. She has gone through alot in her life and apparently she has always love me and me being the fun guy she can depend on. When I was going through a hard time in my life, I told my mom I was close to jumping of a bridge or putting a gun in my mouth. She looked me in the eye and said "don't make me tell name that you killed yourself" The hard times haven't stopped, but I think of that everytime and it stops me cold.
Life has to be worth living on it's own.
Oh how lucky the people who have this perspective must be. To see life as it's own reward.
I'm not one such person.
Awesome part is in my country if you are brave enough to tell someone you’re thinking of ending it, they are LEGALLY liable for your wellbeing. So it deincentivises you from actually trying to reach out to a friend or a loved one. Awesome shit.
Excuse me, what? That sounds weird and not very effective for depression prevention. What country is it?
The thing that sucks is when you can't see it, can't feel it.
I WISH people reached out to me. Just to say hi. Or that they cared. Or that they want to spend time with me. But the only times people decide to be around me is when there are others, or when I ask.
It's never just another person's idea. I'm not thought of. And that's VERY EASY to view as being unloved.
I'm so fucking tired.
I was not emotionally prepared for this.
I kinda feel like we need a new sub for depressing memes because for some reason people always want to put it into this sub. This doesn't feel wholesome, it's just depressing.
My paren't would probably be happier without me, but they would be really sad that i died.
This sub has gotten pretty weird. Is this wholesome? Is it a meme?
I'm depressed and suicidal right now, I don't come here to be reminded about this.
I don’t know if its a latino thing but if i m gone my entire family would mourn me for like 6 years, i cant even begin to comprehend losing anyone from my family, let alone end it and let them sad behind
Goodness gracious….like fuck….my….heart….
I think all of us at one point thought of ending it all... We have our own problems, but I'm thankful that it was just a phase of my life, now I'm happily married with a cute little baby. For those who still have dark thoughts always remember that you have friends and family for you and whatever problem you're facing it's not too late to ask for help or open up to them
Holy fuck I cried. I'm empty inside and I cried.... wtf black magic is this
It’s stuff like this why I can never seriously contemplate it. I can’t do that to my people.
❤️
Can someone explain “child’s allowance”?
Englisch is not my first language.
In case you know German it's Taschengeld.
If not it's money parents give to their children so they have some on their own.
No?
The worst thing is, while you are here, you are doing things wrong. If it happens that you end it, then they ask what could they do different. But untill you are here you are alone. And that's just life
Jesus. As a father of two boys, the oldest of which had some pretty serious mental health issues in high school (including self harm), this hit me like a ton of bricks.
He made huge strides his senior year but then the isolation from COVID lockdowns in college was a major setback but he's doing much better again. He has a great girlfriend and finishing up college on his way to a career in data science. Hardly a day goes by that I don't well up thinking how grateful I am that he's still with us.
Whoever you are, there are people who love you. And if you don't honestly believe that, then guess what? There are people who WILL love you and WILL need you. You just haven't found them yet. Just please speak up and get help. I beg you.
Actually the message push to: - be sure your parents are dead before shutting down - do whatever you want if no parents - survive suffering to not harm your loved
Why does the message not focus on SOLVING THE HARM!?! Instead making the potential suicide guilty
If anyone reading this is feeling unloved or struggling in any way, please come visit us at r/Dadforaminute. We’re here for you.
I remind myself of my daughter facing life without a dad everyday to keep me out of this place in my mind.
Last night she cried because she had a dream I’d died and it nearly broke me seeing a glimpse of what that would be like for her.
I may not be strong for myself but I will be for her.
I lost my son last year to mental illness. I miss him every day and I always will. This past February, his mother joined him due to her medical illness. I am positive the pain of losing him hastened her death. Before she passed, she told me that she was tired and wanted to join him. If you are feeling these thoughts, let someone know. Hell, drop me a DM here and I will do what I can to help.
Holy fucking shit I was not prepared 😭😭
Damn that hit harder than it should have.
Depression convinced people this is true. It is so sad to see the grief that must be endured and it changes who we are to endure it.
I'm in my 30's now and I still think about the freshman girl when I was a high school junior or senior, I didn't know her but I'd see her in the hall and always thought, "she looks nice, I should say hi to her". I was busy, so I never did(and was a shy girl myself in my teens), and then she was gone.
People you don't even know care about you
Not true. People might say that to me, but I really think they’ll be better off without me.
I feel like this would have the opposite effect if the suicidal person has no family, or parents, or is adopted, or has been abused by their family and the people who were supposed to protect them
You don't know me , my life, or my family. You ever think that it just gets too much to bear sometimes. That it gets to a point I feel so low that when people tell me they love me it angers me that they would waste their love on someone so stupid and unworthy of it. Fate, luck, whatever you want to call it has never been good and it feels like I'm just here to suffer. I hate every morning I wake up. I wish for death every night but it never comes. A few loose ends and a couple things is all I have left to take care of and plan on being done with all of this soon but not soon enough
That's the most insidious part of that level of depression. I've been there.
You think you're a burden of everyone else. That everyone else is better off if you're gone. You think no one will miss you because of that. It's a delusion, a horrifying one. It's the worst feeling, and one that self perpetuates.
I made it to the other side, not everyone does.
If anyone reading this is in that place, please get help. There are a lot of people who care about you!
Note: I'm on medication and seeing a therapist, I'm trying to get to a good place mentally, so I can get to a good place physically.
Edit: this video can help you get started, it's the official live for "a reason to fight" by Disturbed https://youtu.be/gRGRduyCy_M?si=BCQICg2_Tv905Skv