Im pretty bored today. Weather is shit. Out of bud and in a cannabis holding pattern until tonight. would you ladies and gents and and non binary people regale me with tales of embarrassing or funny stoner moments. I approve all language. Thanks!
StoriesI have yet to toss any on accident š¤
That is HILARIOUS.
One evening some friends and I were lamenting the dry spell we were in, trying to decide if there was anyone who might know a guy. Out walks my cat with a bag of shwag she had apparently stolen months earlier, just dropped it on the ground and looked at us like ā well letās get the bong going people, I donāt have thumbsā .
That cat was a stoner when I picked her up from the shelter so donāt yell at me.
Ahh yes stoner cats are the best cats. Thank you!
Omg that's amazing š I have a plug that used to come to my house to use my scale and while he had all his green out, one of my catbabies would run up, grab a nug and bolt with it and cost me ā¬20 ššš
lol, luckily my cat only stole from us.
Bruh my cats useless, just gets high and sits around.
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Once when I was in college, [ pre covid ] I was smoking a blunt with a group in a random parking lot. This guy comes up and asks to hit it. Owner of said blunt says sure no problem man. So this dude takes one, two huge rips and starts coughing like crazy. All of a sudden he lets out this huge fart. We all just stop talking, and take a second to figure out what just happened. So this dude goes alright thanks for the smoke and just takes off. About 3 seconds later we all start dying laughing. Super random hilarious memory. Thanks for reminding me!
Poor guy he was probably so embarrassed. Probably my still thinks about it to this day, the laughter behind him as he shamefully scurried away stoned.
Oh I'm sure. I hope that enough time has passed that he also finds it funny now too. At least he got high?
Long time ago I was smoking a joint in my car and starting coughing and shit my pants so I get it
At least you were by yourself? Lolol.
Dude thankfully but lesson learned: clench tight when coughing after hits
Lmao!!
My oldest son invited his girlfriend and her parents to Christmas dinner with us. I did not know her parents and my husband (now x) and I really hadnāt planned on doing much of anything as our relationship was about over. My other son made weed brownies and I was told to stay out of them until our guests leftā¦but of course I didnāt, hoping it would make the evening go faster I ate one, a big one. So we are all sitting on the couches across from each other and my wiener dog climbed onto the back of the couch and rested his head on my shoulder. Oh isnāt he just the sweetest little dog they said. As if on cue he jumped down and started humping the cat in the middle of the room. Seeing their shocked faces, I absolutely lost it. I ran laughing down the hall and hid in my room until I could finally control my laughter. When I came back to join everyone the girlfriends mom picked up her purse and said well its been a great evening but I think its time to go now. So awkward and still sooo funny š
Well, i laughed so i thinks its funny. Awkward is often funny
Yes, awkward is quite often very funny, at least the way I see it!
Damn canāt even respect ur kids wishes to not eat his weed lmao. Hopefully u aināt leave too bad an impression on his girlfriends parents
Well theyāve been married for awhile now so we have all had time to look back and laugh at the day
Good to hear!
first time i smoked actual good weed was also the first time i smoked out of a bongā¦ā¦. i remember sitting outside w my friends and i had a drink on the floor next to me and my friend asked if she could have some. i just nodded yes because i was too high to do anything. she then asks if i can pass it to her. i just nod my head no and they start laughing at me because of how still and quiet that weed got me. ugh to be that stoned again
Faded my friend. You were touched by Mary
One day my cousin approached me and said he wanted to try smoking for the first time. Now I was super excited because I was in college at the time and a big stoner and he was my favorite cousin who had just turned 18 and I knew weād have a really great time smoking together.
So I finally get off work that Friday night and invite him over I figure one hitters would be a nice intro to smoking since he had already had a cigarette before and got the general idea, no crazy bongs or anything like that. I pack him a nice littler hitter and he kills it. Tell him to kick it and wait 30 mins before more. Well 30 minutes rolls around and heās not feeling anything so I offer him another one.
Oh boy this one got him good! Almost instantly his eyes are glowing embers and his mouth is drier than the Sahara Desert. Heās flying having a great time when all the sudden his mother, my aunt, calls me saying heās gotta come home right away since he promised to be home by midnight. At this point I know I canāt take him home heās absolutely fried! I get him some Gatorade and nuggets and drop him off but heās so stoned I had to half carry him in the house. His mom is screaming at him because heās blatantly stoned and we come from a very conservative catholic background. She slaps him in the face and sends him up to bed!
The best part is as Iām laying him in his bed he looks up at me all stoned and says ādo you think my mom knows Iām stonedā. Yeah buddy Iād say she knows ššš
Nice!
one time many cycles ago I was at a party and I believed I time traveled because out of nowhere it was dark outside. Turns out I was just higher then giraffe puss and napping on some dudes toilet for 2 hours
Hahaha. Nice. Bro ive veen here and i was; n Colorado on a mountain top smoking and consuming thc products. And i just forgot where i was almost called 911 lol
It's a pretty "meh" story, but one of the first times I got high as a teenager, I ate all the cheezits and just wrote the word "MORE" on the grocery list. Had me dying when my mom discovered it.
Lol
Not much of a story but I have a habit of pouring water from my brita into my cereal and not noticing until I take a bite
Well it IS a healthier alternative so I won't poke fun at you. Although idk if you have heard of this wonderful new thing we have, its called milk. I heard its grand on cereal.
Just wanna say thank you so much for including me and non binary peeps. Hope all your buds are huge af š¤
You are welcome! Ive expanded my views alot since high school was raised christian and almost radically homophobic. Now I'm just like be happy friends. I have my views I'm not perfect but I'd rather include everyone. everyone eats at my table. Because it's all love.
seconding this!!!! >w< thank you OP!!!
Same. Thereās so many shitty jokes thrown at the lgbt community in these cannabis/growing ācommunitiesāā¦especially when it comes to plants herming out š so thanks for being inclusive because lately Iāve been about šš¼ this close to totally leaving reddit as a new grower.
6 week break? From work? Where and how? Iām American btw.
One time I got pretty high and figured Iād go up to Wendyās and get me and my girl some food, so I drive up and go through the drive through and order us both a meal and - feeling like something sweet, order a frosty too.
Now, I know Iām high - but itās simple, just say what you know you have to say and people wonāt even blink about it. Maybe I sound a little dazed or something, but I have to go back and forth with the employee for quite some time and itās like they even started laughing and giggling. Not in a rude way but I was definitely confused - whatever, they told me to drive to the window and I did. The server was beaming and the ones behind her were all giggling - i didnāt put in any eye drops, im sure theyāre laughing at my eyes. Whatever, canāt be that unusual.
When I got home I found out that I was at a Burger King, not a Wendyās and there wasnāt even a Wendyās anywhere near my place. Lol to this day I hope they got a kick out of my goofy ass instead of being annoyed by me.
You made their day my guy, I promise.
Yeah and apparently Burger King had its own frosty equivilant so nothing was lost.
I call this winning
I was gonna say I am DYYYING at this one, but I have to know...
What happened between there and home? Did they eventually just give you food? If not, when did you realize that you went out for food and came home without any?
Lol it went completely fine. I didnāt realize until I got home that what I had was the correct order and a milkshake. It was a while ago, so Iām not too sure - but I suppose i probably went āCan I get two number one meals and a frosty for one of the drinks?ā and it just played out from there.
I paid for the food, got my food, and I guess they just replaced one of the drinks with a small milkshake lol
This thread is great
A friend and I did LSD a while back and we had rolled a joint for enjoyment as we were coming down. I was tripping heavily and had to keep telling my friend we needed to wait longer to smoke. He eventually talked me into it.
It was a shitty, rainy day outside. We were huddled under an umbrella outside of a door on the backside of the parking garage attached to his apartment complex. I was one hit too deep already and told my buddy he needed to finish the j himself. He took a big ole rip, hacked his lungs out, looked at me and said in the most zooted voice ever, āYouāre gonna need to helpā. Absolutely had me rolling.
Weāre back inside and I go to the bathroom. I come back out and heās pacing around the kitchen and hyperventilating in the middle of a panic attack. I finally get him to calm down by watching Dave Chapelle. He cried until he wept at his black white supremacist bit.
After that, I went into his room and had an ego death for about an hour and half. It couldāve been 3 days for all I knew. I came back out and laid on the couch in the fetal position until I fell asleep.
I havenāt done acid since.
Dude thats wild. Im interested in hallucinogenic compounds but i already have adhd, depression, social anxiety, combat and nonconbat related ptsd. Not sure if I should even try. You know?
You should try a low dose of mushrooms! Could help mitigate your symptoms.
If you are interested in it my advice would be if you can try mushrooms first, psychedelics in general are just a whole different thing then smoking some weed. But theyāve really helped my brother who went to afghan 3 times and also had combat related ptsd.
Lsd in my experience has always been stronger then mushrooms tho but the cool thing about mushrooms is that you need to take 2 grams to actually trip (visuals and all). So you can just do 1 gram at first, feel a little weird maybe enhanced colors and go through some laughing fits and maybe some introspection but nothing too wild and decide if you wanna go through with a full 2 grams. Just letting you know hope your doing good man
I have PTSD and anxiety related to trauma at work (Fire/Rescue) and in the right atmosphere, with the right person or people around- mushrooms are an excellent way of addressing and understanding your trauma in a way that has the potential to help you overcome and heal in deep and profound ways. Psilocybin literally was my lifesaver, it helped me to recover from a deep depression caused by PTSD.
You might benefit from it. give it a little trial run see how it goes maybe? Never know..
My dad was one of my favorite smoking buddies.
My brother calls me up one day and says āYouāve got weed right?ā (growing at the time).
Me: Yeah bro of course. But youāre in Cali, whatās up?
Bro: Iāve been sending Dad weed for a few years now and itās getting harder to get it to him through the mail. Do you want to start selling to him?
And thatās how my Dad became one of my best customers. RIP Dad ā¤ļø
RIP YOUR POPS BRUTHA. I'll blaze a bowl specifically for him tonight on top of my normal stuff.
I use to clean a laundromat at night time when I first started smoking, back in like ā05-ā06ish. Iād close it up at 10 pm and sneak some friends in there to smoke. Weād take chairs from the main area and drag them back to the back room and make a circle like that 70ās show. One of the first times, I got so high that I made a bed out of a pile of the lost and found clothes and laid down on it and tried to sleep while everyone else was still smoking. I was so confused why they were all laughing so hard lol. So many memories in the back of that place, I really do miss it.
Every time I go to my cousinās house, we do dabs. She LOVES concentrates and Iām a flower guy. Last time I was there we were probably 8-9 dabs deep and I was in the kitchen having a coughing fit. Well that coughing fit turned into my projectile vomiting across the kitchen. I got it on her kitchen curtains and was so embarrassed. Dabs always fuck me up!
Does the high mess you up or the hit? I can help with the hit but you are on your own with the high space cowboy
Itās the high that gets me. Iām like drooling dumb stoned after I visit her. She doesnāt fuck around about her concentrates ššš
Dabs fuck me up as well. I remember a couple years ago I took this gigantic dab and was coughing for a couple of minutes and ended up being high for hours on end. Fun times
One time at a friend's house, we had everything set up for a good dab time. Dude had a buddy over, says he smokes "all kinds of stuff," so we scoop him a dab the same size as we were doing. Takes his hit, sits up, barely chokes out, "I should NOT have done that!" And went running out the door š¤£
So I have plenty of stories, one of my favorites is the time I was out to smoke a j one moonless evening, and as was typical for the time I was smoking in the forest between subdivisions, but I had no trouble navigating through the dark woods as I had been doing exactly that same walk daily for some months by then. Now when I finally got to a spot that I felt was sufficiently comfortable and lit the rest of the joint I started earlier that day, as I enjoyed the ambiance as the silence of the night was broken by the sound of something that was coming toward me, ā good god what l have I gotten myself into now, should I just eat the roach nowā I thought to myself as I drew on the joint before the sound drew nearer I prepared to either talk my way out of an interaction with police I saw, that was no police dog, but a raccoon, likely drawn to the smell of cannabis expecting I may have a snack but the fellow had a look on its face that both meekly asked for a hit and for me to leave, but I sat there a moment longer and as I exhaled I must have startled the fellow because they left quite quickly after that. It was a great night, I walked home enjoying the surreal quality of the interaction.
I actually go into the woods at night and smoke alot actually one of my favorite things. I know what's in the woods and I'm not scared of any of it but if it's not supposed to be there 1. I strike up a conversation. 2. If it starts speaking gibberish I use google translate.
Itās so nice to just be in the embrace of the trees and hear the environment breath. I extended the joint to the raccoon but he didnāt want it I guess because they didnāt look back after I offered them a hit. I love sitting in a tree in a night after itās rained on a half moon
During my sophomore year of highschool I had a few idiot stoner friends. But one was a bit dumber than the rest. One day she pulls me to the bathroom before first hour asking if I wanna smoke some with her. This bitch pulls out a tea bag. A literal teabag. Pours out the contents of it onto some SKETCHBOOK PAPER and makes the saddest fucking roll I've seen in my whole goddamn life. I refused to hit it but this bitch smoked the entire thing and insisted she was high when she very obviously was just having an asthma attack or some shit š I feel for her and genuinely wonder where she is now
First time trying psychedelics and I decided to trip on shrooms and LSD at the same time. I was with a friend, we were tripping together but after like 2 hours I had to go back home since I wanted to be in my room. I called an Uber and from deep Brooklyn to Manhattan I was on an Uber tripping balls on 4 grams of shrooms and a gel tab I had just taken. The ride lasted foreverrrr, I started getting paranoid about the driver but then texted my friend and grounded myself again. I went from the proyects in Brooklyn to Financial District in Manhattan on a Friday night. That car ride was the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. The car ride lasted forever and crossing Manhattan Bridge was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. I felt like a meat sack, on a machine, looking at a screen that is also a machine. I remember looking at everything, as everything. I was everything. I realized so heavily that everything is matter, that this city was built on the same matter I was made of. At the same time I was feeling mother nature talking to me from the water underneath the river. I felt what she was saying. She said "I've been here since forever, all of this will be gone one day- but I will still remain here. I have been here forever and will continue being here forever." Human race felt like a rebellious child playing in mother natures backyard. And then everything changed when I got to the city like inside, and staryed seeing homeless people and "institutions" like banks and universities. I understood everything. Every. Fucking. Thing.
THC can do that weirdly
I remember my first time smoking weed. I was back in high school and my older brother picked me up right outside of class! Must've been some good fucking weed too because I don't even have an older brother
Bro im dead as fuck right now. Comedy. Also i love you. Maybe, probably lol funny shit.
I laughed out loud at this!
I am 3 years older than my brother, when we were younger we were always in and out of trouble unfortunately but he had come home from placement when he was 13 and he had a bad habit of sneaking out at night and running off and getting in trouble so my mom asked me to keep him entertained so he didn't get in trouble. So we got stoned all night long until around 1 in the morning we were hungry, I told him to stay upstairs cuz I didn't want to risk my mom seeing us both red eyed and stuff. As I'm cooking the food, out of the corner of my eye I see something fall past the kitchen window and a bunch of branches had flown up and hit the window too. Sure as shit he had tried to climb out the window and fell close to 15-20 feet into the pile of branches and leaves along the side of the house. When I asked him wtf he was doing he tried to tell me he was letting our dog in while pulling sticks off of every part of his body but the dog wasn't even outside. Me and him still randomly crack up about this when we see each other.
Good looking out for your bro man. Keep watching his back through hell or high water.
š¤š¼ for sure. Always.
A couple of years ago on 4/20 I got super high with some friends from college. We were laughing and singing and talking - you know just having a good time.
The next morning I woke up still high and didn't come down until lunch time.
I was a high school teacher š
Teachers smoke. Lots do. Its one of those professions i think where weed is commonly used
Can confirm. Teacher here, how else would we cope. It's tough as hell in the classroom these days.
Oh really? Well I need to meet some of these teachers asap!
Yea I got 2 friends that just got there teaching jobs so they are only like 27 or so but ones a art teacher at a middle school and ones a math teacher for a high school and both of them are huge stoners
Pretty dangerous but I had an air bnb for my girlfriends birthday and we had a fire pit in the back. We just smoked up and now wanted a fire to roast marsh mellows. I take the cap off the lighter fluid to peel the plastic off. Friends get the fire started and Iām like hey they got fluid Iāll pour some in there. I squeezed the bottle without the top and pour a shit ton on the fire and the thing burst out into flames. No one was hurt but everyone was pretty amazed, meanwhile I shat my pants. No one knows I shat my pants so I ran upstairs to āgrab my bongā lol
ā¦they knew š
First time I ever smoked. Friend got me to hit a milky gravity bong. Terrified I started riding my bike home having to tell myself āIām riding my bikeā Got home to one of those premade Salisbury steaks. Ate that shit up and then proceeded to eat about a half loaf of bread slice by slice, dipping it into the sauce at the bottom of the container My dad and sister had no idea but I was so high and damn was that she delicious
The first meal!!!!A religious experience
Iām ashamed to say more than once I got the munchies so bad I ate an entire pizza plus half a cake. Still feeling hungry, I opened a family sized bag of peanut m&ms and just kept mindlessly popping them. Two hours later I realize I have to poop so I sit on the toilet and immediately puke and shit myself because my stomach just couldnāt hold anymore. Let me say, being stoned and exploding from two ends is NOT a fun trip to have.
I used to have my own ānewsletterā on Animal Crossing called High Tide Times where I would send letters to my friends when I was baked and they loved opening their mailbox and reading the ridiculous shit I would say.
Another time I ate an edible and went for a walk back in college. My college town was pretty small and I lived next to a train track. As I was walking, the sky was so blue with beautiful puffy white clouds, trees were green, and hardly anyone was around since it was summer break. I thought I had traveled to the past, looking at the rusty tracks and pretty scenery without cars zooming everywhere.
And then there was the time I came up with a story about magical girl lesbians in space who meet a neon tiger with three eyes that ruled the cosmos haha
That's a great story. I too have done this eating thing I'm sure we all have at one point or another. Im interested in this space lesbian tiger story... Um, as a man and a sci-fi fan
Itās been awhile so I may not remember it all (or make sense because I was high).
Basically the worlds youngest astronaut is sent into orbit where sheās greeted by a neon tiger with three eyes and a fish tail. It doesnāt say anything to her but closes itās two eyes and opens the third which she gazes into and sees billions of galaxies, time folding in on itself, pretty trippy stuff. Just as she feels like sheās about to break, she gasps and wakes up in a hospital bed on earth. They tell her that she only made it to orbit for a few seconds before the shuttle malfunctioned, hit her head, and plummeted down to earth. But afterwards she starts having visions of past events she shouldnāt know about, predicts minor future events, and lucid dreams of distant planets. In one such dream she sees a girl dying but is unable to help. No one believes her, thinking the stress of the mission was too much. Eventually sheās contacted by a group of people/aliens from space who tell her theyāve all met the tiger too and she was chosen to join them on their mission to save the tiger entity from unknown harm. They explain that when they met and the tiger opened its third eye, each of them received a gift/power to help them rescue it. One of them is the dying girl she saw in her dream. So she decides to join them to figure out what the tiger is and why it summoned them. From then on they journey the cosmos looking for other people chosen via one alienās power to feel the energy vibration of other chosen (they were the first one). Over time she falls in love with the girl from her dreams, whoās a bit prickly and doesnāt feel like she can trust the tigers intentions or her crew mates. All the while, the astronaut girl is trying to prepare and predict when/how the other girl is going to die like in her vision.
Turns out the tiger is a divine entity representing harmony, and is constantly at war with another divine entity that represents chaos. Together they balance the universe like yin and Yang. The group thinks theyāve been chosen to fight alongside the tiger to finally bring an end to the war and bring peace to the universe but the truth is that the tiger foresaw its own death at the forces of the chaotic entity. Knowing that all things die, it summoned the group to defend its cosmic essence at the moment of its death so that it could be reborn and begin the never ending fight anew. The problem is that it canāt survive as just essence, it needs a physical form and it designates the astronaut as the most logical choice to merge with her body and consciousness, forming a new powerful being.
In the end I couldnāt decide if the entity splits from the astronaut at the last minute, leaving two versions of her; one with her real body inhabited by the entity and the other, a paler, weaker body thatās technically her own but unstable with an extremely shortened lifespan. Or if she agrees to become the new host on the condition that the entity also merges the consciousness of her girlfriend so they can be together forever.
ā¦.yeah itās pretty weird, I was baked after all lmao
So me and my 2 friends started smoking senior year of HS and we were v cautious about smell bc we didnāt want to get caught. About a month into this my dad, who runs marathons, came back from his run and told me he saw my 2 friends on the running path (luce line iykyk). Apparently, these two had gotten absolutely ball busting high in their car and were wandering on the path until my my dad who was running saw and talked to them. Naturally they never expected to run into him so they had no excuse planned at all and just told him they parked to use the bathroom, which was a terrible excuse bc they were about a quarter mile from their car in the middle of a MN winter. My dad smoked in college so he knew exactly what they were up to.
So thatās how my dad found out I smoke and now every time he leaves for a run around me he goofs me about it
That's a dad for you lol
I work from home and start at 6am. I have to log into the system, and to do that when I put my extension in I get a phone call and I have to press the pound sign to complete the log in. Last week I decided to have a nice little wake and bake before I started work so Iām all nice and toasty high, logging into my systems and browsing Reddit when my phone starts to ring. Iām like who the fuck is calling me at 556am, the fucking audacity of whoever this person is. Finally realized it was my work log in shit.
Those mf's!!! Lol
Missing finger prints on left hand cuz on my first dab I grabbed the wrong part and it was hotter that satans rectal thermometer
I know exactly what that feels like. I stand woth you in solidarity. At first you dont feel shit then it's just to late lol
To be fair that hand has serious nerv damage from when I was little itās been stabbed burned crushed and broken
Not my embarrassing moment but my friendās who I will never let live down. He was grinding the weed and rolling but kept telling me to look over and was like āoh shit, what if I accidentally dropped itā and then did a fake blow over the tray to joke around.
He did it twice and on the 2nd time his high ass actually blew all the grinded up weed onto the carpet. We just stared at each other like that Pikachu with his mouth open meme. Biggest blue balls I have had yet.
Yeah luckily ive never spilled anything more than some dust or crumbs. Luckily. Did you guys pick it up or just vacuum it and say your goodbyes?
We used a vacuum with a sock over it and then picked out things that werenāt weed. Still ended up losing like half of it tho and hitting it made me feel like a tweaker with knowing where the weed has been.
Was super stoned in the Netherlands (as a tourist), smoked a preroll from a cafe and didn't realize how high I got. Was vibing and went to a market with tons of shops and food and stuff. Went to a place for pastries and the woman said something to me, I was lost, said "tu parle anglais?".
She sighed, looked at me, and said "what do you want?"
She spoke to me in Dutch. I responded in French. I only speak English. Thought about that for 5 years. I'm a dumbass lol.
I panicked one time at the airport. I had an edible in my bag and when I went through security I just ate the whole thing. Luckily I was traveling with a friend, thankfully he didn't have any himself so I was in sober hands. I ate plates of boneless wings at the airport bar for literally 4 hours. It was frankly embarrassing that I could barely put together a sentence. I ended up sleeping on the RED EYE (wink wink) from California to Philly and not waking up until the plane landed and walked off like nothing ever happened.
You made it! Hoooo raaay
One night a mate and I decided to make a batch of 16 brownies in which we put about an Oz of green. The first one hit us pretty hard and maybe 30 minutes later, I got the munchies... And what could look better than a tray of dark chocolate brownies to a man that stoned and hungry š
And you went on the most magical ride through the queens kingdom eh?
Man, I must've because I don't remember a single thing about it and after almost a day and a half all I had to account for it was a few Rick & Morty flashbacks š
Went crazy with a label maker while I was super high one time many years ago. Started labeling completely random objects, even going to the extent of putting a label affixed on a toothpick to a cat turd in the litterbox. Yeah, me and my bro had discovered using weed on a hookah. That was a good time
Fun thanks for the idea. I like doing random nonsense shit to get a rise out of people
Me and my friend had my house to ourselves when we were like 16 or 17 and while getting some hits out of the ol coke can with holes, we heard someone walking by (I lived next to a walking path so completely normal).
We got sketched out and somehow decided they must be coming to get us, we armed ourselves with trophies as weapons. I guess decided they must be inside because we did like a full house survey before snapping back into reality and laughing our asses off.
The good old days.
Oh the sweet blissfully occasional paranoia
i got so high 3-4 days ago that i sat on the sidewalk and lost my glasses, havenāt found them they just disappeared
Im so dependent on my glasses. My vision is a bit better when im high but that happens to everyone. The science behind it is cool.
-my friend and I were driving and cop pulled us over for speeding. We had a bong with water and as she went to hide it under the back seat, it spilled everywhere. Car REEKED of nasty bong water. The cop ticketed her for speeding and let us go LOL
The first time I tried a bong I burnt my eyelashes off
Short stor and hilarious. Lol
One time I was really high and cleaning the kitchen. I put the toaster away in the fridge. That is all
When I was young sapling once, my dad caught me with a cart and instead of taking it we got stoned together so weirdly wholesome and funny I guess
One of my dreams is to convince my dad to get stoned with me just once. Hes a devout christian and we are nothing alike. No biological connection but i love the guy with all my heart and i just want to share a piece of my happiness with him. Thanks for sharing
My dad is a minister so there is always a chance lol.
May dad is also ordained. And was part of the church for a while. I just don't know how to ask him without him turning on his reefer madness. He knows i smoke and he respects my decision to do so so that's also why I don't ask him to. Hes respecting my space so I don't want to crowd his. You know?
Hmmm
Exactly. I just wanna share things I love with people i love. Its ok if we never share a joint but I'd like that bonding experience with him. I just don't want to disrespect the guy. He does everything he can for us. Not many like him left in this world and when we clash we clash hard so idk.
This happened 7 years ago in an illegal country. In a place where an ounce would be a life sentence, being a foreigner had it's advantages so you felt safe. The locals didn't have the same luxury, but they were curious about it.
So I had smoked with some locals, and mixed results but nothing crazy. This guy in our marketing department wanted to try it. Short, but muscular and strong; had a macho attitude that he had when he approached anything.
The night we had like 4-5 other locals who had smoked before, couple of other expats, and myself. We pass around a couple joints and he's feeling good, but every time he hits it he's CHUGGING it and we gotta take it away from him. Not even 5 minutes go by and he wants to smoke more. We said if you aren't feeling anything then we can spark another j in like 10 minutes. He asks if we have a bong. We say that's not a good idea, but he insists so we spark a bowl to show him how it goes. We repack and tell him to corner the bowl but he TORCHES the entire bowl. We should have just packed it super light and repacked it after.
Now begins the shit show. He slowly zones out over 10 minutes as he rubs his thighs slowly with flat palms of his hands, like when people get nervous or anxious. He rubs progressively faster, but very gradually. As he rubs slowly faster, his hands are also starting to rub higher and higher on his thighs. Now he's rubbing as close to his genitals without actually rubbing them, and he's rubbing hard and pretty fast. He's not really responding to our increased panicked questions until he suddenly stops....with a bewildered look on his face. After 30 seconds he vomits profusely, all over himself and some splatter on others (studio with 8~ people in it). Everyone scatters, but he just keep vomiting. Anything that man ate that day is now on him, the couch, and the floor.
The owner of the apartment is PISSED, but as he starts railing the guy for being stupid, said high mfer screams like a got dayum banshee, smearing his throw up all over his face/head, the couch, the floor, coffee table, the walls behind him and to hir right. And his screams aren't English or the official language of the country we were in, but a village language that no one there understood. No one could get through to the guy, so we just let him kick and flail for 15-20 minutes and he got tired.
He then stood up, stumbled out the door before anyone could react. I was outside the door so I tacitly tried to get him back in the apartment without touching him. He went the other way and tried to open a window saying he was going to jump out of it. We were on the 34th floor. Needless to say we shut that window fast, and he just curled up outside the apartment door. Slept for about and hour; when he woke up, he only wanted to go home as fast as possible. On the drive home, he asked one of the guys taking him back how sex would feel high. Needless to say, never smoked with that guy again.
TL;DR Macho dufus didn't listen to advice and smoked too much for his first time. Proceeded to cum in his pants in a room with 8 other people, vomit, swim in said vomit, and almost commit suicide.
One time when I was 10 I saw a sweet potato pie in my fridge, I asked my mom can I eat it she said no cause ā itās grandmas special pieā. I ate it anyway, apparently I had the giggles and slept the entire next day. š
Thanksgiving a few years ago I was new to smoking and my older more experienced cousins got me so high before dinner I forgot how to sit down so I stood and ate my food in the kitchen
I got high as shit and went to the science museum in Boston. Highly fucking recommend that, but we watched one of those 4d movies about sharks and due to my scoliosis the thing that is supposed to jab you in the side of your back was jabbing me IN THE CENTER OF MY SPINE so I cried out in pain and my girlfriend and my friends thought I was scared of the sharks (I was just in pain)
I work in Professional Theatre, as in my best friends and con workers are on Broadway. I was working a summer stock and was Stage Managing a kids show (adult actors, a show FOR kids) for some extra cash. We all lived on site. We made plans at the start of the summer to do a midnight show of our performance and we invited the ENTIRE company. This had been a months in the works, and I got my entire tech team to agree to come in (sound, lights, wardrobe, makeup, etcā¦) and the agreement was that we do is absolutely trashed.
Then I got an email from my boss that ran the festivalā¦.
AND HE LOVED IT! He let me know that he had heard rumors of this, and said it āmust be fake, but a sounds like a lot of funāā¦. and then proceeded to let us know that all the doors in the theatre would be unlocked and that a local police patrols, so just donāt have anything on us.
Night of, all the technicians begin pregaming. I get so obscenely high that Iām time traveling and can barely walk or speak. I canāt retain a thing! I picked up pizzas and slushees for my tech crew on the way in. I was so high that I was late! (Iām the first to get there by an 1 and 30 minutes in advance usually due to my job). The audience is going insane, and Iām so high Iām dangling off the rail from where I work so I can call the show. The actors are either absolutely wasted or so fried they can barely speak. Iām going in and out of consciousness and snapping into it just to call my cues and hit cue lights before fading away.
The show goes amazingly, with added kisses, new costumes, alot of swearing, and more to the story. I only missed one cue out of 200+! I absolutely obliterated the pizza and slushee. The audience had never laughed harder, and Iām pretty sure thereās videos of the entire thing.
Praying that I have started a tradition.
One time I decided to try and deep throat my bong. I choked and sprayed bong water and ash all over my car. It took two years to get that smell out.
As a concerned citizen. No more of that ok? Noone is that gay or that much of a throat goat if you will. some try, all fail and I hope your dreams were not dashed that day. Next time just try a weiner. Its alot easier than a bong my friend. Much love
okay so super embarrassing moment first trying medical quality edibles. i had just moved in a house for uni with a bunch of strangers and was an occasional smoker. i have bought some eddies and didnāt know how much to take so i took them all (100mg). I greened out and met one my roommates and there friend for the first time while puking my guts out on my new white comforter.
I could tell you the tale of the time I got way too fucked up on a stupid amount of AVBā¦? Or the time I over served myself on edibles right before a flight overseas..?
Im sorry what is AVB my friend?
So as James so eloquently put it, avb is weed thatās been cooked in a vaporiser so a chunk of the THC is gone, but thereās still a good enough amount left behind. I would usually double boil it in milk (the fat takes a lot of the THC thatās left), strain the ever loving shit out of it and add cocoa and coffee till itās palatable. I would do this when I was desperate. Except for a good long time I was able to get on regularly and had saved 4oz worth of this stuff. So I decided to do a nuk-edible. I cooked 4oz into 750mls of milk and drank the whole thing in 20 mins.
2 hrs later I was having to remember to breathe and telling myself over and over āNo oneās ever ODād on weedā
Already Been Vaped bud. You can eat it straight up since some of the THCa has been decarbed into THC and remains in the bud rather than being vaporized. A "firecracker" is an AVB edible, usually AVB + peanut butter on bread.
Already Vaped Bud
Just started college and it was a weekend so me and my roommate go partying. We meet this guy whoās a plug and pregame. We get to this party but they wonāt let dudes in so the plug and his friends try to jump the fence and get kicked outā¦ all of this while me and my roommate are laughing our asses off.
Later we go to the plugās dorm and start hitting the bongā¦ donāt remember anything till the next night š
Literally one of the funniest and scariest of my memories lol so me and my group of friends would always be smoking outside of our community college and getting High before class every day pretty much.
But for whatever reason I canāt remember now we all had to have clean piss to pass a drug test ( I was applying to a job and they required it).
So we decided to buy synthetic weed, and let me tell you it was the worst fucking trip ever. We were so paranoid and just stupid we somehow ended up on the bus. We got off on the last stop wich was the beach and were stranded there till we sobered up.
One of the best memories I have with my friends lol
I once did a podcast episode reading stoner stories. Give it a listen if youāre bored. http://loureads.com/2011/03/02/lou-reads-more-stoner-moments-from-the-forums-of-something-awful/
I am late to the game but have a good one. I just had surgery to get my gallbladder removed. Someone recommended I try RSO which I never had before. I did not know that you only took an amount the size of a grain of rice. I took about 4 servings. About 45 min later I was sitting on the couch and I could feel it hitting my body and was like WTF was that. I couldnāt feel anything, everything felt heavy. I went to lay down and remember telling my husband to check on my body to make sure I was still breathing throughout the night. I had the craziest dreams that night. Woke up feeling fantastic!
Imagine the 1980s. Raygunās Just Say No crap was in high gear. This is your brain on drugs commercial was mandatory bong hit. Get the time?
So I get a job interview for a summer job at a camp. Tell my roommate I have to drive out to the far burbs for the interview, does he want to go for the ride. Sure, he says, just let me roll one for the ride. On way he decides to burn the J BEFORE my interview. What was a poor boy to do but partake. Now really thirsty and stop for a Coke. As we are leaving the parking lot I am waiting at the red light and some guy rear ends me. Not too hard and no damage but still. Shit! Have to get out and maintain!!!! Deal with this quick.
Jump out and put on my best serious face and the guy is all apologizing and hitting my car and saying there is no damage. Light turns green, I say I agree and he hands me his business card just in case and says sorry again. Get back in my car, throw the card and my roommate and take off. I am thrilled I got away from that scene without any major hassles. Suddenly my roommate starts laughing hysterically. Says, āholy shit! Do you know who that guy was?ā No clue. Hands me the business card. Turns out the guy was the CEO of The Partnership for a Drug Free America!!!!
Funny as shit! Remember it well almost 35 years later.
Well it was the first or second time I got high. And I was leading a d and d game. I kept getting confused about where we were in the game.
But the funny part was that I kept touching my nipples without any thought. Not really realizing what I was doing. And one of the players finally yells at me "stop twisting your nipples you horny bastard" then I couldn't stop laughing and we watched a movie instead.
But it kinda feels nice though.
the first time i smoked i drunk half of those twist cap monsters filled with jager in the other half, worst morning of my life the next dayš
My condolences
Man I have so many good stories, unfortunately I forgot them all. F.
Moderation my my friend. Maybe a nice little T break in your future? I encourage it its good for you and lowers your tolerance so you can have fun again
Yeah I don't partake like I use to, still do occasionally, but I have tons of stories that feel like dreams, sometimes only jog my memory when someone else tells me haha
That time I was super baked, going to have a shower, and forgot how taps worked for a minute š¤š š¬šæ
I used to burn incense sticks while smoking and one time I was gonna pack a bowl of just kief so I grabbed what I thought was a stem to plug the bowl of my bong so the kief didnāt just get pulled in. I took a hit and realized I had grabbed a teeny leftover incense stick my whole mouth tasted like a dryer sheet for like half an hour lol
2 years ago during the pandemic i was high as fuck after eating a brownie and decided to listen some music, somehow i managed to find an instrumental version of an album and played it without realizing it is instrumental. So a few minutes go by and i realize i haven't heard a lyric so i went into a weed panic attack for about 10 or 15 seconds (which felt like minutes) because i thought i got so high to the point of losing the ability to hear voices in a song. After i realized what actually happened i spent a while laughing hard.
Once leaving a skate park we caught a wiff and off one of our buddies ran like a blood hound. We think nothing of it just chuckle and follow. We walk up to him a block later being yelled at by elderly woman unsuccessfully trying to convince him it wasnāt them. He is at the end of their yard pointing laughing saying he can see it in their hand. Finally I assume the leader of the three stand up and chucks a fresh J at my friends and tells us to leave. We screamed/ laughed in amazement and continued on our journey. For weeks after we would send him off running when weād catch a scent just for shiggles.
I recently told my friend to get me a piece of pizza "to suck on."
I meant "nibble on."
Drank bong water by accident while taking a toke 2 days ago. Worst experience ever
Ugh so Iām a nurse in an outpatient doctors office. This was pre-Covid. I hold the door open and call a patient to the back. He comes walking up with his wife in tow & arm wide out. Iām like, oh dear, why me, why do I always get the touchy feely types. Well I just decided to let it happen & hugged him. He said thanks, but he was actually reaching for the door! The patient, the wife, my coworkers, the other patients, everyone laughed. I laughed later.
one time i was smoking with my partner & BIL, brother in law had never been to our house before. he asked, ācan i use the bathroom?ā. our bathroom is upstairs, so we point to the stairs. he gets super horrified and goes ādo you think itās super tiny up there???ā hahaha like i guess bc it seemed far away? no idea but i still laugh and ask my partner if he thinks our upstairs is āscary smallā š
A long time ago in a galaxy far far awayā¦ wait wrong story ā¦. But back when my best friend and I started smoking we were given the task of going to the gas station to grab some drinks. The gas station was literally 2 minutes from the house we were at but somehow it took us an hour and a half to get drinks and get back.
I went to Starbucks a few months ago and the barista asked for my order, i gave it, she then said "Would you like that to stay or to go?" but i was in autopilot and i thought she asked for my name, so what do i go and do? say my name and i can feel my brain restarting lmao. I was so embarrassed lmao
When I was in early college and pretty new to smoking, I was once at home on winter break and in some desperate need of bud, but away from my usual plug. So, I searched around my town, found a guy, and copped an eighth for $50. More than I usually paid ($35) but I was ensured that it was gas, and again, I was desperate, so I took it.
A buddy and I were hanging out at his place, and late at night we decided to smoke some, so we break open this new eighth and smoke it out of my bowl, which was very much in need of cleaning. Midway through, Iām noticing itās extra harsh on the throat, and my friend commented that it tasted a little funny. We shrugged it off for the moment, chalking it up to just a dirty bowl or some new bud.
But while sober, both of us are very anxious, and once we got the thought in our head that something was wrong, we panicked. Not even the high could combat our anxiety. Slowly, the two of us FREAK OUT, convincing our inexperienced selves that we had been laced.
The logical part of our brains said that was so unlikely, we decided to try and distract ourselves. We tried to play a game of Magic: the Gathering, but we were both so high we couldnāt even read the cards. We gave up and threw on an episode of Adventure Time at random (the card wars episode), and tried to just chill. However, we still could not combat the anxiety, and we ended up both having full on anxiety attacks, worried we had been laced once again and were at risk of dying. We worried about everythingā is my head too clear right now? Has Adventure Time always looked like this? What could be in here that makes us feel so crazy? Is it cocaine? Acid? Fent?
We worried for so long, we eventually went and woke up his mom, certain something was wrong. She, who has been smoking for decades, laughed in our faces. She told us we just got way too high. We went down into the living room and hung out with his mom for a couple hours while we decompressed. We put on a random movie on Netflix, which was Wreck It Ralph 2 (I havenāt even seen the first one).
I crashed there and the next morning, the two of us both woke up in something of a stupor, both feeling residually insane from the night before. Turns out, we really did just get insanely strong weed and got ridiculously fried off of one bowl together. Itās been years, and I donāt think either of us has so much as looked at that episode of Adventure Time again.
When I was 15 or 16 a girlfriend and I got incredibly stoned and made just a box of stuffing and ate the entire thing to our faces. My parents were not impressed. I've seen someone jump into a river with an eighth in his pocket. When I was 14 me and my buddy went camping with my family, and him and I opted to stay in a tent outside their camper at the edge of the lot. We get there, get set up and first time my parents took off to do something he pulls out an (at the time) massive bag of pot. It was a half oz but man that was a lot of weed to have at one time then. We spent that entire trip smoking bowls. Hotbox the tent at night, found a couple of girls to hang out with and smoke up, brought some of the weed on a tubing trip and hung way way back and smoked a couple of grams, we left the rest back in the tent in case we fell in (which we did near the end lol, bowl was wet for a minute). There are 100% pictures still on my mothers Facebook of me and him reclined back in lawnchairs just absolutely stoned out of our minds. One of the coolest weekends I can think of from that time period.
The first time I tried LSD there was a group of us all on it, in a loft flat. The ceiling sloped with the roof and for some reason we all thought the slope was on the floor and so rolled into the corner of the room, once we figured out gravity, somone freaked out about the big crazy bug that was in The room so we all got are bravery up and tossed it out the window.
Anyhows we were to high to stay in the flat and went for a mission. Had a great night and in the morning went Back to get the weed and have a smoke only to realise that the big crazy bug was the nug we had got for the morning.
Never found the weed.