She’s making it incredibly easy for me to go no contact with her…
TW: Transphobia^This is just straight up abuse, not even relating to being trans beyond it maybe being the cause
Hate crime even. Just because they are blood doesn't mean they are above the law.
even calling the police is right in this situation
Depends on the country. I'm from America, and from my dealings with police I would say to call them only in the immediate aftermath of an abusive event. They probably won't do anything if OP calls them and says she was abused a week ago. It sucks, but American cops tend not to be that helpful.
They also tend to not actually know the laws. I've been in disputes with my neighbor for years now and any time we call the police we end up having to follow up with a local government office (it's usually code violations, he's tried to get us fined for not mowing enough when we've been injured or sick, we just got him fined for rebuilding his fence without a permit, it goes back and forth) and the cops always say some bullshit they FEEL is right just to try to diffuse the situation in the moment, then turns out they were entirely wrong, usually in the moment is to the benefit of the neighbor and then the actual law is to our benefit.
Hey, they're just cute quirky little blue people. You expect them to know dumb shit like.. law?
I've been told by American cops, "this is a civil case and we don't handle those."
Better: call a lawyer
this
If op is a minor record the convos they have with their egg donor and call cps. It is easier to prove verbal and mental abuse if their is recorded evidence.
Social services (probably): act like there's nothing wrong happening and go after the child of a religious minority family instead
wait threatening to shave your hair unwillingly is abuse...?
I mean... yes? It's a violation of bodily autonomy. OP is also having her hair pulled and doesn't even have privacy. Her room has no door. It's extremely abusive.
... i think my dad has a little bit of explaining to do. (he doesnt go that far be he does often say hes going to cut my hair while i sleep despite telling him repeatedly i want to grow it out)
I was abused as a teen, but I only accepted that fact a few days ago. If you're feeling uncomfortable with what your parents are saying to you then I'd say there are two things you could do.
- Tell your parents how uncomfortable their comments are making you. Doing this successfully depends on how supportive your parents are
- Assuming you're a minor, then reach out to your school counselor.
tysm
Shave her hair while she sleeps
*Jokes aside alert the authorities
I came here to say this, but also don't do this.
id say do it and then run away that same night. serves her right
im not fucking joking, it'll show her how disgusting violating people's bodily autonomy is
I would legitimately have murderous ideations if someone did that to me
Probably just lock the door and if she asks why then you can just make shit up
all the bedrooms I've had don't have locks:/
Nvm this is what OP said: "Unfortunately I don’t even have a door, she’s one of those parents. The best I can do is stay alert and cautious for now."
"There’s literally no door in the frame, it’s been like that my entire life because “I don’t need a door unless I’m trying to hide something”"
Or you can baracade it with a chair, if you don't know how, take a chair that's higher than your door handle and tilt it and slide it under the handle so it can't be unlocked
Alert the authorities and shave mom's head in her sleep!
or more devious, dump Nair in her shampoo if you don't use the same :3
but yeah no call the authorities, even if her hair start dropping randomly she'll probably accuse you, better get away as fast as possible
Better yet put hair removal cream in her shampoo and conditioner.
i don't get why some parents are like this. you should love your child for who they are, some people shouldn't be allowed to have kids ngl.
"All kids deserve parents, but not all parents deserve kids."
Lock your door if you can
And other comments
Unfortunately I don’t even have a door, she’s one of those parents. The best I can do is stay alert and cautious for now.
Yea then umm record the stuff your mother does to you (voice). Then report to authorities. Dont call them with no proof
Definitely this. Police and even CPS (assuming OP is a minor in the US) won't act without serious proof.
There are small voice recorders you can get and conceal on your person for the next time she gets physical. If you're able to keep your phone on you at all times, you may be able to do that.
She's going to play the "struggling parent with rebellious teen" card to the extreme when this blows up - you're going to need proof.
Or ESPECIALLY if you're in Canada, they take that shit VERY SERIOUSLY up here
Like there have been multiple times where the cops have been at my school due to hate speech and shit, so yeah
TF you mean you don't have a door?
There’s literally no door in the frame, it’s been like that my entire life because “I don’t need a door unless I’m trying to hide something”
That's the most psychotic sht I've ever heard! WTH? Does *she have a door?
Yeah, the only doors in the house are hers and the bathroom. She’s allowed to have a door because “it’s her rules and she’s my parent”.
Hypocrisy. Has a door and is terrible at hiding her hatred.
Gtfo as soon as you can and never look back, you owe her nothing.
The OP is a teenager and finding a well-paying job is impossible.
I said as soon as you can, obviously if they are a teenager then that will be once they’re older
There's still the issue with the job.
Your mom's a psycho
I've pretty much only heard of this with people/families coming up with some horror story of abuse, or parents who end up getting arrested for child abuse.
Does your parent think I lock the bathroom door because shitting is illegal?! WHAT THE EVERLIVING FUCK IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE?!
omg that's messed up
Yeah my mom is like thaf too. At least i can have a door tho...not one that can like...close...but i have one
Ok sorry for my snarky reaction, but I'd laugh it off and say oh right so you can get some peeks of a minor's body haha why else would you not give me privacy lol
I've literally seen this on R/insaneparents
Yeah, this parent sounds pretty insane to me.
Leave Like, if you have a friend, leave to them. Go no contact. That bitch is a fucking psycho.
Yep I expect a teen to be able to cut contact with their abuser that's easy right? Right?
It's not that easy. I wish it was.
go live literally anywhere else. look into lgbt shelters in your city. you do not need that abusive bitch in your life
Not gonna lie
Your mother is actively insane and you need to do anything you can to leave that situation.
Sleep completely naked. Wonder if she will ever dare to come inside your room. If she does report for sexual abuse.
/joke
It might be beneficial to tell an adult you trust about the threats. IIRC, removing hair without permission is classified as battery (because fixing it can take years, and hair is such an integral part of self-image, it’s essentially disfigurement to cut it off), so threatening to cut off is I think assault( and pulling your hair is definitely battery. You want to establish a pattern of abuse so you’re taken seriously.
Booby traps?
I feel like that wouldn’t work for long unfortunately, as soon as she encounters one she’d see it as justification for her to retaliate. With a bit of luck I should hopefully be able to get out soon at least.
If theres proof of abuse the authorities have to. And if they for some reason do nothing then get other family members alerted. If close family then distant like aunties and cousins ect. Just so someone inside your family knows
what in the ever living fuck are your parents, why are people like this
There are locks you don't need to use a drill to set up. Even just door stoppers could work. Or you could put bells next to your door to wake you up.
Edit: Oh sorry, I didn't read that at all apparently. Maybe you could tie string across the doorway and attach a bell to that? Or you could be proactive and warn her that if she shaves your head you'll do the same to her.
I wouldn't recommend the last part as it could cause her to flare up again
I know. That part is less of a suggestion and more of an idea. Only do that in a confrontation.
I meant if you say it then she could get mad
WHAT IF THERE'S A FIRE?!
Modern homes are designed so that the doorways to bedrooms impede fires by hours, giving inhabitants plenty of time to wake up and figure out a safe plan of escape or call for help.
This doesn't work if you can't sleep with a securely closed door.
The lack of privacy is also insane but this is just straight up a fire risk and she's unknowingly trying to kill you!
That's emotional AND physical abuse. Get out of there.
And report to authorities, whatever their local child/youth protection program is. This is seriously not ok
you're in a dangerous situation, i hope there are other adults in your life that you can talk to about this.
how old are you, if your younger then 18, please call CPS if you can, this does not seem safe like at all, get help now.
If she’s actively being violent and hurting you, then you need to report it, because that is unacceptable!
You are being abused call CPS
I came out to my parents about 10 years ago. They didn't accept me, even during the time I went to the gender clinic. Their mental abuse was so heavy I couldn't handle it and stopped the treatment (pre-hrt). I thought I'd just accept living as who I am until like 2 months ago. I moved out about 9 months ago and I've been talking to caregivers and psychiatrists. I managed to convince myself through talking with them that it really is the case of me being transgender. Distancing yourself from toxicity is a one way trip to a big smile.
that is literally threat of physical assault get a restraining order
Hey uhhh your mother is abusing you, you should probably tell the police or social services
That's not your mother, that's your spawn location.
jokes aside, if you are AT ALL able to, get in contact with someone who can help, that's straight up abuse
Deglove her.
(Call the authorities)
Get out of there
This is actually serious you NEED to call CPS please
OH THAT IS. HORRIBLE i’m so sorry what the fuck D:
if she ends up doing that to you. do it to her and see how that bitch likes it
Are you gonna be safe?
I’ll need to be cautious, but I think I can manage. I should hopefully be able to get out of there soon. Thanks for your concern, I’ll do what I can to be safe.
That’s good to here. Good luck
Good, your safety is paramount. I hope things turn around for you soon.
When you get out, if you have trouble finding a good paying job or paying for rent or whatever. DO NOT be afraid to get on government benefits. Get on them ASAP. When I finally escaped from my Dad I made things way harder on myself than I needed to by not applying. Even my Republican mother and grandparents were trying to get me on that stuff, were there helping me sign up and stuff.
Please consider contacting the authorities, that is ABUSE. Even if you’re not a minor it’s still illegal
I feel that is illegal.
Good luck, I wish you the best.
It is
just putting it out there... shaving someones hair without their consent let alone in their sleep is in many places considered an assult.
it should be everywhere
yeah, should, I just didn't really google before responding, just going off of things I knew so I didn't want to give any wrong info.
If anyone shaved my hair in my sleep, I’d do something else with a razor in their sleep.
Claymore.
I'm a pretty light sleeper, so when people come near me I have a habit of swatting them so they don't touch me without permission so I don't know how to advise you on stopping that last part: but I know full well that is legally considered assault so if you could obtain proof of that, or the hair pulling, you could get a criminal charge on her. (I'm not sure if your country / state allows you to film others without permission to submit as proof of wrongdoing, but I know at least in (some?) American (states?), evidence can be used even if it was not legally obtained.)
Other than that, hope you can stay safe OP...
Run
Yeah, that's not legal. Stay safe and report whatever)
Well atleast you know now instead of hiding it for longer
what country do u live in? If one with a child protective services, CALL THEM
wtf and i thought my mother was bad...
STAY STRONG SISTER!
On a heavier note, this is absolutely abuse. If you’re a minor you should 100% go to CPS.
This is when we call CPS, we tell the school counselor, we tell everyone until someone does a good thing. Omg, this just abuse
I know this is late.
But if you live in the UK, I do say, DO NOT CALL THE POLICE. They will ignore it, and they will notify your mom, making it actually worse for you.
A friend of mine, she was horribly neglected, her house smelt like weed. It had drug pipes on the floor, there was mold and so on, it was completely disgusting. But when the police got involved, they completely ignored the issue.
I was neglected(like not being fed some days and what not) and gaslighted by my mom(ever since i was a child, i never told her i was ftm), I never got the police involved. But I was able to leave there at 15, due to be moving into my Dad's. And slowly making sure she hated me, so she didn't even try. I haven't talked to her in 6-7months now.
The best idea in the UK is save up your money, and save up for a place. Or move in with relatives. Please stay safe.
Some people read 1984 and then think "This is exactly how I should raise my kid."
It was easy when she rejected you. Don’t stay in touch with abusive family members, it’s never going to be worth it.
😢💔💧
I'm so sorry. This is awful, so much abuse. Hopefully you can get away physically from this situation and her reach.
All the way to my 40"s before coming out and living away from home for 15+ yrs I still was threatened with my hair being cut in my sleep.
SUMMON ME
I WILL ASSIST
Why are some people like this?
If she cuts your hair without your permission, depending on your local laws that may be assault
CALL THE POLICE NOW
try to save up some physical money (so your mom doesn't see the transaction on a bank account or smth) and buy a pocket mic so you can record the shit she says and then report her.
Yeah that was my experience too. I hope you get through this sister.
one time my dad joked about shaving my head in my sleep and i said "if you do that then I will leave and never come back, and you will never see me again"
Call the police, and lock your door at night
at this point you shoud just let her go she is a lost cause
Get the fuck out of there if you can
hey op, that's abuse. you should try to see what you can do about that.
It's not Ur mom, it's a demon. Run!! Jokes aside, fingers crossed for u girl!
She‘s emotionally and physically abusing you. She calls you hideous and pulls your hair regularly? Istg some people shouldn’t have kids
I haven't come out to my family yet, but my mother still made the same threat to me about my hair many times, so reading this actively made me angry about your situation. Hopefully you can escape soon, nobody deserves this treatment
Sounds shit. Hope you find a better situation soon /serious
Solution? Don't sleep /j
Yep, no contact is the only way.
Do it back >:3 ı doubt she would like her hair pulled/fearing waking up shaven
That’s so scary. :<
Just remind her that she's gotta sleep as well - eye for an eye, hair for hair... I'm sure your mom would look *lovely* with a buzz cut if she wants to pull that little stunt!
if you're gonna leave and go no contact, straight up ruin her hair. i mean like "heather total drama" fucked up
That's my thought too! My hair is part of my identity - you mess with it, I mess with you. I spend good money and time to keep it looking good, so I'd go nuclear on whoever wanted to mess with it!
Yeah, get out of there if you can
Run. As fast and soon as you can.
I am so sorry you have to deal with this hon. you deserve better. hope you can find a way to get away from her and be safe
Call the police next time she does anything
Call the authorities! This is child abuse if you're a minor and I think just straight up assault if you're an adult.
If you don't wanna call socal services du know what and where the collar bone is karate chop it with ur hand as hard as possible and then a punch to the lower belly to wind them they won't be able to move the side on which u striked for 4 months at least and winding well will keep them down for 5 minutes probably if u can strike the other collar bone and make it impossible to use there arms
If u wanna make sure u sure u can run away make some chloroform and put it on a there face and stick it on with tape How to make chloroform -one part rubbing alcohol or acetone (nail polish) -one part plain old bleach Now shove it in a blender and you have chloroform (Chloroform is illegal to own due to it being a carcinogen) P.s:pour the rest away and save ur self and call the fuckin police
This is a better way of making it
6% Sodium Hypochlorite Bleach or just regular household bleach. Just make sure you use bleach that doesn’t contain any other additives. Acetone. The ratio from bleach to acetone is 50:1. So you don’t need much. Glassware. A large glass container is ideal. We want it to be clear so that you can see the chemicals anything else that doesn’t belong with them like residue. Ice Separation Funnel Glass Stir Stick Gas Mask Gloves
The bulk of the budget for this DIY project isn’t for the ingredients themselves, but the equipment and safety ware for handling the ingredients. Here’s how to make it.
Instructions:
Total Time: 30 minutes
- Add Ice and Bleach Add some ice into your glassware. Then add 1/2 liter of bleach. The ice is simply to keep the bleach at a low temperature. 2.A dd Acetone Add 10ml of acetone into the glassware. You want to use the bleach as a 50:1 ratio to acetone.
Mix gently with your stir stick.
- React This is where the two chemicals react with each other. It’s not as instant as a spark to a stick of dynamite.
Leave it alone for about 60 minutes. It will take about that time for the reaction to fully process.
- Pour After the time has passed, the reaction should be completed. The Chloroform will be at the bottom of the container.
Pour out the excess bleach that’s on top while being careful to leave the Chloroform in the container.
- Extract Chloroform Pour out as much bleach as you can without wasting any Chloroform. When you’re done pouring, transfer the rest of the container to your separation funnel.
Let it sit there and settle for 10 minutes. When it’s settled, drain out the Chloroform. All that’s left should be water that you started with.
This is very good way making it tape a cloth with this stuff to their face and done she won't wake up for hours
P.s: she may get cancer later in life
Girl.....thats informative and given ops situation good advice, but I think physical self-defense is best with a recording device for evidence (phone or camera or even just audio if its easier to hide) and restraint to not cross anything excessive.
Fr got to mention it takes 7 minutes to knock out someone spray it on to there face instead just under the nose ideally
Maybe call police or social service or anything. That's abuse.
From what i can tell,OP's bio says she's from Canada (although she never mentions her state) and while battery is not a criminal charge under Canadian law,assault causing bodily harm is and it's covered by s.267 of the Canadian Criminal Code and punishable by up to 10 years in jail. And no,OP isn't a minor,OP is 18 as stated in their bio
This is not right. You need to contact child protection services and tell them what you just told us. Good luck. 🫂🫂🫂
This is why I have 911 on quick dial.. shit like this is not okay. Call the police or someone else who will be able to help.
If she shaves your head while you sleep. Shaver her head while she sleeps
My favorite tactic to do when my dad threatens that to me, is to complety and brutal tear his heart out of his chest and feed it to him. :3 hope this helps
That's assault and if she does that to you she can be arrested.
Get a silk bonnet to wear while sleeping. She'll have to remove it to shave you, and the silk will help keep your hair from getting damaged in your sleep
what a monster :/
sorry, that you don't have a real loving mother/parent, which we all deserved :/
<**<
Insane terfism right here, please talk to a therapist because that sounds terrifying to live
Simply cut off her hair if she does
Pull her hair, turnabout is fair play
As a Canadian I hate saying this but....she's not nice (sorry if that hurts ur feelings)
Call the cops on that fucking psycho you need to get out of there sis
If she does put nair in her shampoo.
I'm just gonna call 911 real quick ok
Sue her the hair pulling is physical violence the threads are emotional emotional manipulation.
If she shaves your head, shave the middle of her head, then her eyebrows
Does she have your location? If not then tell her you're meeting with a friend then go to the police station tell them about your situation and ask what to do, you can also go with a friend to not be alone
OMG. I am so sorry. As others have said, record her. Call CPS and police. Do you have a friend you can stay with?
I know you should be able to leave soon but in the meantime call CPS, at least just talk to them
Wow good luck and just go no contact even thow she is youre mom make her actions hurt her feeling by just caling her by her name and not mom if you talk to her
Simple solution, kill her in her sleep, turnabouts fair play
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Straight-up abuse. If you're a minor, you should call social services. If not, then I hope you're able to leave soon <3