Are there any of you that continued therapy after a hurtful termination and found it to be helpful? I'm bouncing back and forth between "therapy is awful and not helpful" and "I absolutely need help."
I don't know how to find a therapist that will really, truly work with a client with persistent suicidal ideation and not be burnt out by me. So many therapists say they work with depression and SI, including my last therapist, but end up terminating with me when they see they aren't making a dent. Is therapy even helpful for SI? I don't know what to do.
I went through a bad termination. It was probably because of my attempted suicide history and my therapist was truly a horrible person( long story) I was traumatized by my therapist and was left in excruciating emotional pain for 2 solid years before I could start to move on. Right after everything happened, I tried with another therapist. It felt wrong to me, and I told myself I gotta stop doing this. When I did try to share a little of what happened, my new therapist tried to shame me instead of helping me process what happened. By then, I learned my lesson, and I started listening to my inner voice. Prior to all of this, I had spent years and years in the mental health system. The "therapy" always made me worse. I just don't like it. I can't handle it. I have extreme opinions of therapists and the way the system is set up. I basically reject all of it. When I made a deep personal commitment to never see another therapist, it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. I felt safe for the first time. I didn't have someone telling me I'm "ill" and I was free to make any choice I wanted for me. I could decide freely and on my own what I wanted in my life. Therapists are abusive and can pass it off as something for your own good. This sub and a few others can really help you get focused on your self care. Also, I know deep down the second I reveal my true mental health history, no therapist will want to take me on as a client. I can not risk getting hurt like that again. I've made my peace with it. Most of my emotional pain came from the therapists who were supposed to help me.