Luna wants to know, what’s ur best dark humor type joke?

Why did the cannibal break up with his girlfriend?

She didn't suit his taste

Give a man a plane ticket he flies for the day, now push em out of a plane at 3,000 feet and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

You may like this one better: My girlfriend's dog died, so I tried to cheer her up by getting her an identical one. It just made her more upset. She screamed at me, "What am I supposed to do with two dead dogs?"

Any joke can be funny with the right delivery… except ab0rtion jokes, because there is no delivery.

I said this already but

Why couldn’t JFK think?

His thoughts were all over the place

What's the difference between iron man and iron woman? One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

an apple and an emo kid fall from a tree, which one hits the ground first ?

the apple

I asked a Jewish girl out today. When she went to give me her number, she rolled up her sleeve.

Dead baby jokes are the best. They never get old

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?

The wheelchair

P.S. I love your super cute pig!

What's the difference between an American and a computer? A American doesn't have "Trouble shooting" in a classroom

Why did the policeman shoot the ginger? He was dyslexic.

I still remember my grandfather's last words to me before he died

"Are you still holding the ladder"

I told my grandma a knock knock joke today. Everyone else at the funeral was shocked but she was dead laughing.

Why does Mexico have no Olympic athletes? Because everyone who can run, jump, or swim is already across the border.

why do black people have nightmares?

because we shot the last one that had a dream.

Also thats an ADORABLE doggo!!!

Idk if this could be classified as edgy or dark or whatever but. Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Malaysia airlines 103

Which part in a female body is warm after she died

My p1n1s

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese

I gonna start by saying I’m not anti Semitic or have any issues with Jews and Judaism,

How do you pick up a good Jewish girlfriend? dust pan

a woman ran to the gates of a concentration camp and demanded to see her husband. the guard asked for his name and pulled out a list. the woman said her husband's name and proclaims "ah he left just this morning" he puts his finger in his mouth and holds it up to check the wind. the guard says "parts of him should be scattered in Poland by now"

the only good thing about pedophiles is that they drive slowly in school zones.

Dark humor is like food

Not everyone has it💀

What's worse than a baby in a dumpster?

A baby in two dumpsters

What’s the difference between a pregnant 12 year old and the fetus inside her They’re both thinking “oh shit my moms gonna kill me”

Scientists say they found water on mars. Mars: 1 Africa: 0

I swear your honor I thought it was a catalog of fun pass times not the Geneva convention

I hate double standards. Burn a body at a crematorium, you're "being a respectful friend." Do it at home and you're "destroying evidence."

Why are Americans so good at rubix cubes?

Spoiler

I’ve used this one a few times before but…

What’s the difference between science and religion?

Science builds us skyscrapers and airplanes…

And religion brings them together.

I don't have one but the dogs cute af

Why did the dead baby cross the road

Why can Osama Bin Laden read so fast?

Because he went through 99 stories in 5 seconds

A girl walks in on her mother coming out of the shower and asks “what’s that?” to her mother, who responds “that’s my bush (or something to that extent)”. The girl then says “when will I get it?”, to which the mom responds “you’ll get it when you grow older”.

The girl later that day sees her father coming out of the shower, and asks the same question, “that’s my snake” says the father. “When will I get it?” asks the girl. The dad says: “Right after mommy leaves”

My girlfriend called me a pedophile and I said "that's a big word for a 5 year old"

Those poor kids at Sandy Hook, all they wanted was books but they got magazines instead.

World war 1, proof that bad things get sequels too

Why did the child cross the road?

Because it didn’t have its seatbelt.

How fast can you paint a 10x10 wall?

Depends on the load in my trebuchet and the size of the baby.

Why is the tower of Pisa leaning? Because it had better reflexes than the twin towers

A child goes up to his mother and asks her “Whats a dark joke?” and the mother says “go up to that man with no arms and tell him to clap” and the kid says “but mother I’m blind” mom: “exactly”

What’s the difference between me and cancer? My dad didn’t beat cancer

What’s the most expensive hair cut one can get?

chemotherapy

World's best player

Kills: 6,000,000

Deaths: 1

Nickname: Adolf Hitler

This'll probably get me banned

Did you know Paul walker had dandruff?

I didn't until they found his head and shoulders in the glovebox.

I cried when my mom cut up onions

Onions was a good dog

proof I'm Fucking hilarious

my dogs name is hilarious

What are kidnappers favorite shoes?

White Vans 🤭

Where did the school kid go after the bomb went off...

Everywhere

*Looks at African village “Dark humor is like water. Some get it and some don’t.

"merry Christmas"

"I'm Jewish"

"Happy Holocaust then"

Whats so great about emo grass? IT CUTS ITSELF!!

how can u tell if a black women is pregnant? When she pulls out the tampon and the cotton is picked

My grief counselor just died.

Spoiler

what's the most difficult thing about fucking twentythree year Olds..... there's 20 of them

You can tune a guitar but you can’t tuna fish

Not the best one but the one I remember the best: what's the similarity between a pedo and a clock? That both don't go past 12

A white woman was caught assaulting 2 black men yesterday, she was arrested and charged with impersonating a police officer.

What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of jesus?

You only need 1 nail to hang a painting.

It's the 1940s, Two Jewish children are fighting in a concentration camp court yard.

One picks up a handful of gravel and throws it at the other, and the other blurts out:

"Don't you bring my father into this!"

what did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

same time next month?

a classic but i love it because of how gross it is

What's the difference between an elevator and my dad?, an elevator can raise a family

Why was the 3 year old african child crying? He was having a mid life crisis.

Wat u call a pregnant 5lave

1+1 offer

A little late but here it goes Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 ate 9 But why did 7 eat 9? The doctor said to eat 3 squared meals a day Want to hear how 10 died? In the middle of 9/11

What’s black, white, and red all over?

A panda in a blender

Why can’t orphans play baseball? They can’t run too home

More of an insult than a joke but: this might be complicated but you look like your parents are related

What do a food delivery man and a gynecologist have in common? They both get close enough to smell the goods, but if they eat it they'll be in big trouble.

Edit: its not my joke, just my fav.

Have you ever tried Nigerian food?

no

It's OK, neither have they!

As I get older, I remember all the people I lost along the way. Maybe my budding career as a tour guide was not the right choice.

How many police officers does it take to change a broken lightbulb, none they beat the room because it’s black (not my joke)

uhm here try this youtube link, it's a clip of the late, great comedian norm macdonald
https://youtu.be/8semdd0ZTko?t=129

he has a lot of great dark humour, the rest of the video is pretty funny too but it's only really as funny in context to the clip i timestamped

Why doesn't Japan have any fat men? The last time there was an entire city disappeared

No racial prejudice or anything, but my humor is darker than Africa

What do you call a group of emo kids? The suicide squad

What do you call a flat chested emo girl? A cutting board

What's yellow and can't swim?

Spoiler

Why can’t two Chinese people have a white baby?

Because two Wongs don’t make a white

Here's another one: (probably gonna get banned but wtv)

What do you call a group of White people running down a hill? Spoiler

What do you call a group of Hispanics running down a hill? Spoiler

What do you call a group of Black people running down a hill? Spoiler

Yk they are making a black superman?

Yeah it's kinda realistic too since his parents abandoned him.

imma get canceled.

You know how god created a race of black people?
God:"Oops I burnt one"

What do you call a legless dog

You can call it something, but he ain't coming

This one's not that great but here we go.

What did the bullet say to the man? "What's wrong drawing a blank?"

In the United States history there have only ever been two open minded presidents. Abraham Lincoln and John F Kennedy.

What’s the difference between a Jew and a bullet? A bullet comes out of the chamber

And one of my favourite 3 part jokes:

What’s the fastest thing in the world? An Ethiopian with a free dinner ticket

The second fastest thing in the world? The rest of the tribe chasing them for it

And the third fastest? The Discovery Channel trying to film it

The doctor gave me one year to live, so I shot him. The judge gave me 15 years. Problem solved

What do you call a disable person on fire, hot wheels

Why does America suck at chess?

They already lost two towers

My grandpa says people these days are too reliant on modern technology. I called him a hypocrite and unplugged his life support.

Where did little Timmy go after he got lost in the mind field? Everywhere