I understand that when dropping to 10 m in water we are then at 2 atm of pressure. If you would not have equalized by then (yikes) then the absolute pressure difference is 2-1=1 atm (~1e5 Pa), relative difference is 100% (doubling). Surface area of ear drum ~5e-5 m sq. Gives a force of 5 N (yikes again, but thankfully hypothetical).

Now I equalize at 2 atm and dive 10 more meters to 3 atm without equalizing. The absolute pressure difference is again 3-2=1 atm, same force of 5 N on ear drum. But the relative pressure difference is 50% (from 2 atm to 3 atm is +50%).

However, in practice I (and most?) find it mory easy to equalize, the deeper we are. Online sources say that this is because the relative pressure decreases (which we just showed it does). But the relative pressure (i.e. pressure ratio) does not determine the force on the ear drum! Force = absolute pressure difference * area.

I must be missing some basic (bio)physics here. Any suggestions?