Chickened out of discovery dive… but I feel like maybe I made the right choice. Did I?

I'm a very strong swimmer and the best advice I can give is to go get adult swim lessons focused on being comfortable in the water. You don't need to be awsome by any means, just safe and competent.

Ok please read this and take it as a grain of salt type of comment. I e been comfortable in water all my life. Swam a lot as a kid. Had to be rescued 2x in the water, first time as a 6 yo. But I was always very comfortable and competent. I went to SEA my first time planning on getting certified many years ago. Didn’t happen. A few years later I had a trip planned back to SEA and getting certified was top of my list. Went to Hawaii a bit before hand and went snorkeling. I had a very uncharacteristic freak out just putting my face in the water. Very bummed that my lifelong anxiety was getting the best of me. Don’t discount that last sentence. I didn’t think I’d be able to SCUBA but I said “fuck it” and took the course. First time I put my face in the water with a rig I was sure I was done. But I tried again and I’m not very long I was fine. Every time I go under now I know for a fact I will have a visceral reaction and want to get out. But after about 30 seconds my body realizes I CAN breathe and the rest of my body and the physical reactions calm down and I know it will be ok. Take this form somebody that has really struggled with anxiety all my life. Give it a minute. The payoff is well worth it. You’ve, undoubtedly, done difficult things in life. This is yet another. But it’s so good down here. We all have balloons.

You may need to consider if youll ever be able to dive or not based on your past trauma and anxiety levels. Ive got anxiety issues that i have to actively manage when i dive. Frequently ill get anxious/panicy on my first dives out after not having done it for a while, or if we're doing any deep/murky/cold water, mainly just psyching myself out until i get down there and get comfortable. But i dont have any subconcious drowning trauma also fueling it.

A lot of things leading up to diving fuel anxiety. Spending money, how rested you are, weather/water conditions, worrying about gear. And then you get in the water with however many lbs of crap strapped to you. Cold water dives with the wetsuits/hoods/gloves squeezing me all over trigger my anxiety.

But, when i push past it and get down there to enjoy the free floatiness, usually i calm down big time after being down for a moment (after using up a bunch of my air lol). Anxietys always a battle, its always looking for something to fuel it, ya gotta just do your best to keep it in check so you can do cool stuff like diving

You should avoid putting yourself or anyone else in danger if you are having this much anxiety and yes you did the right thing.

Ask yourself, do you really want to dive?

I’ve had two drowning experiences in my life when I was younger, I also watched a kid die in the ocean, no one could save him without dying themselves. I was 17 and trying to figure out how to save him and a rescue diver said no one can get to him.

I have a lot of fear of being in waves but when I dive I’m at the most peaceful place I’ve ever been.

There’s nothing wrong with saying no. My wife doesn’t like diving and the two times she tried she panicked. I don’t push her or ask her to go, I dive and she does her thing, all good.

It is your anxiety speaking but it was telling something. That you didn't want to do this activity. You didn't let anyone down. You made a choice for yourself. That's ok. If you want to pursue this in the future you can. The ocean will wait for you.

You made the right decision. Your anxiety and stress could have made that dive much worse than just being nervous. Better safe than sorry. However, I do recommend you get therapy/counselling to get over your trauma. It's clearly hampering enjoyment of your life, to the point that you can't be around water comfortably.

Dang, I got stressed just reading this. Sorry you’re going through that. You made the right choice for sure. There’s something about having a bunch of gear on in the water that can be frightening for even the most comfortable and experienced swimmer.

The first certification dive me and my partner went on, as soon as he hopped off the boat he completely freaked out and was done. Never tried it since. It’s definitely not the hobby for everybody and that’s ok!

Try snorkeling a bit. Watch some people diving while snorkeling. That helps. Also the instructor is there to help you. If you panic he knows what to do. Thats a part of the training instructors would go through. Basically they are like dads or mom's holding your bike while you learn to ride it. If they see you are going to fall they'll be right next to you.

IMO, you shouldn't be diving at this level of anxiety.

Panic is the most dangerous things for a diver, it makes you do wrong decisions.

You should snorkel until you feel completely comfortable with snorkeling, because snorkeling is supposed to be giving you zero stress.

If you get there and feel like doing a course, maybe go with a private instructor which will be very expensive but you'll be able to learn at a pace you feel good about.

Diving is something that should be done at whatever pace is most comfortable, some do almost everything in 2 years of constant diving (I found myself in this group) but some take a long time and others do it once or not at all. You should do what you are comfortable with and that is perfectly okay, after all its normal to be at least a bit afraid of scuba diving, its a very different sort of sport and is completely nature defying experience and you are completely reliant on your equipment. Do what you feel is most comfortable and do it at your own pace if you end up wanting to do it at all now or in the future.

While I myself can't relate to a near-drowning experience, my dive buddy and one of my closest friends here in Australia is a Canadian who drowned (but was resuscitated) while swimming when they were younger and they only just started diving a couple years ago, after avoiding water for about 20 years. They personally found scuba diving to be amazing and helped them get over their fear of water, in fact they now work as a diving instructor now. Obviously I can't say it'll work out like that for everyone in a situation like yourself, but I hope it helps put some context behind my opinions.

Also I don't know why people would downvote you lol

Can’t be normal? There is nothing more normal than honoring your fear response in the face an experience entirely unnatural to the human condition. Take scuba and things generally only to the extent and only at a pace that feels right for you.

Any one can back out of any dive at any time. We all keep each other safer that way.

Oof. I had a similar experience snorkeling as a child and was sooooo turned off on snorkeling for so very long. Now, I snorkel, free dive, and dive for work all the time. I do the craziest shit while diving, love it, and get paid to do it (*can't tell you what exactly - we're a real niche group of divers that would make it hella identifying).

With that context in place, I want you to know you did the right thing. A huge part of scuba diving that we don't talk about much but is absolutely integral to safety is that ANYONE can call a dive for ANY reason.

I do mean ANY reason.

You could be having congestion. You could be unhappy with a certain piece of gear (*I have a back-up mask strap that I hate irrationally because it messes up my hair). You could be in the wrong headspace. Fuck, you could see a seabird on the beach and decide you want to spend the entire day documenting the life of dirty old gull stealing French fries.

It takes a huge amount of bravery and confidence to say, "No, thank you. I'm going to stay topside today."

So, yes, you did right.

That said, having had similarly unhappy starts to my diving career, I do think you should open yourself up to the possibilities of diving...... But in a space and manner in which you can feel secure and safe! When you get back home, talk with your local dive shops. Many dive shops offer discover scuba and free diving classes in pools, which may be a great way to dip a toe.

See, there's this thing we do to ourselves called "task loading." It's essentially how your brain processes an activity by what you need to do. Think about when you first learned how to drive. All the things you had to remember to do and check. Probably felt like a lot, right? But your driving instructor probably didn't tell you to just peel out onto a major highway right away with other traffic. They probably had you noodle around a quiet neighborhood or empty parking lot, right? They removed a ton of what might have otherwise overly task loaded you (paying attention to directions, looking out for other drivers, managing changing speed limits) until you had the other tasks down like breathing.

Being out in the open ocean and learning to scuba dive at the same time might be a bit too heavy of task loading right away for you.

Now, a pool? That may be a very different story. Calm, shallow, clear waters, with tons of safety equipment in place? That can be a great way to remove a ton of what may be distracting or overwhelming stimuli so you can give it a try. Plus, you'll be able to have the confidence even with all your worst case scenario thoughts to focus on the experience knowing in most pools you can just stand up.

I also mentioned free diving classes as they often present great opportunity to learn snorkeling techniques. I learned much too late that all of my issues with snorkeling came from shitty, inferior loaner gear. It was all it meh shape at best, didn't fit my pre-teen face, and just plain didn't work for me. Having someone help you find the right mask/snorkel combo for YOU can make all the difference between happy, easy snorkeling and miserable, constantly flooded snorkels.

Good luck with it!

Saying no is always the right choice. If it doesn't feel right DONT DO IT. I've dragged my fair share of panicking SOs to the surface after their partner "coerced" them into doing something they didn't want to do.

What you may be feeling is a tinge of guilt/regret/FOMO but you know your level of comfort in the water. Trust your decision. Don’t beat yourself up! Enjoy the rest of your vacation!

My dive school refuses to do discovery dives as they believe it puts people off more than it encourages, because it's so rushed.

You made the right choice. Dive in your own time, if you want to!

Non divers couples touristing in the Maldives should feel free to lounge or amuse themselves both individually and together in different activities or not. I get paid well to "push through" lots of stress and anxiety at work but refuse to do so voluntarily on vacation. Last February in Belize we did or time in the Atolls together for sure but up country my wife thought we should ride horses but I don't trust or like horse much. I thought she knew that but she seemed surprised but was ok with. She went off for a morning ride after breakfast while I did a birding walk along the river and we met back at the lodge for lunch. Are you guys very newly married that parting for a couple hours is torture? Of course you made the right decision.

you absolutely made the right choice and should be proud of yourself! scuba diving is not the way to get comfortable being in water. because the consequences of that can be catastrophic for you and everyone involved.

you are a normal person with a not very  uncommon issue. if you really want to you can work with a psychologist and get comfortable being in water. definitely try getting comfortable breath diving first. it's possible to do! it's also totally ok if it's not big on your list of priorities!

I also had to stop my first discovery dive (in the ocean, also had to clean the mask). I was just freaked out that day and the ocean was really ruff so it just was to overwhelming. I cried for an gpur afterwards because i was so disappointed in myself

Guess what? Now a few years later i have my AOWD and a good amount of dives!

If you want to just try again some other time. If not just dont. You dont need to do everything there is in life

You made the right choice.

If you decide to do it in the future, remember this. It is perfectly acceptable to ask to do a dive only a very few metres down. There's something special and wonderful about being ten metres down for the first time ever, but there is also something amazing about being just three metres down and not having to come up for air while you slowly look at the coral and fish.

Lots of very experienced divers pull out of dives all the time if they aren't feeling it. It's one of the first things you learn about dive safety: Don't dive if you don't feel up to it for any reason.

So I don't think you chickened out: I think you made a decision for your safety, based on your feelings at the time. That's a good thing, and something to be admired even if it doesn't feel like it right now.

At the end of the day, if you're not feeling comfortable and relaxed underwater it's a miserable time and you won't enjoy it and you might put others at risk too.

My suggestion is that if you're looking to try diving again in the future, maybe try a pool session first because this can be far less intense, especially if you can stand up. But, if you don't feel like diving ever again, then that's ok too. It isn't for everyone.

Instructor here. I think you made the right choice. I’m not a fan of “discovery dives” in the open ocean as things can really go wrong quickly.

You didn’t mention if your husband enjoyed it. If so, I would highly recommend you do a “try scuba” or a full scuba OW course but start with a swimming pool which is far more relaxing and less-intimidating than the open ocean. Check local dive shops in your area, and +1 of the shop has a pool on-site.

Long story short it doesn’t sound like it’s for you. It’s not for everyone

Don't feel bad about backing out. You made the right decision. Unless you're comfortable you don't have to dive. The risks aren't just worth it. Your husband should be able to understand this easy. Don't worry.

It's a very normal reaction given your past. You would not be here if your ancestors threw caution to the wind and never learned from near death experiences. I think a lot of casual divers could actually give the risks some more respect.

Maybe one day you can have a professional help you work through the phobia. I think that's way more important than scuba diving. If only to be able to swim in the ocean, or swim different strokes. I cannot stand backstroke lol.

I'd definitely say you need to be able to snorkel before trying diving. Also maybe look into EMDR therapy to help with your trauma.

If you aren’t comfortable and don’t feel safe? Don’t dive. It’s not a test of fortitude or character. Many people without your background experience panic when introduced to diving. Personally I had to be towed to shore and given oxygen my first attempt at open water. I now enjoy diving but it took a lot of acclimation. If it’s something you’d like to try then start with snorkeling in the shallows, where you can stand up as opposed to flailing in panic. When you get home you can try a diving class. The first set of dives are called “enclosed” dives because they’re in a pool. Absolutely tell the shop about your experience. A good instructor will let you set the pace. I needed seven open water dives over four days to do it. Now I’ve done advanced open water, nitrox, navigation, night diving etc… I enjoy the classes. There is no shame in doing things how they work for -you-

You would have been a liability to yourself and anyone with you. It sucks but you made the right call. 

If diving is something you really want to do, get therapy to deal with the anxiety. However it’s okay to not be able to do it. Most people can’t or won’t in their lifetime. 

Sky diving looks cool as hell. But I’m never going to do it. Because I have an overwhelming fear of falling uncontrollably for multiple minutes and then splatting into the earth. I wouldn’t force myself to do it just for the experience and certainly not to the point that I would make myself physically ill. 

It sounds like you’re feeling FOMO about not diving the Maldives while you’re there. Don’t. Everyone makes every dive location sound unique and magical, but honestly, they aren’t. Especially if you are doing beginner and discovery level dives. If it’s that important you scuba dive in your lifetime you can deal with your anxiety and dive some place else later.   

Unless you’re an expert, you’re going to go “oh look at the pretty coral and fishes” no matter what reef. Outside of a handful of species that are dead give away you could drop me on the Great Barrier Reef or a random Caribbean island and I wouldn’t know the difference. It’s cool to say I’ve dove at location XYZ but that doesn’t matter except for bragging rights.  

Don’t ruin your vacation for something so stupid

Hi there, my personal view on this is, thank you. Scuba is not for everyone.

If you are not comfortable, you are not comfortable. There is no need to put risk on yourself and I thank you for thinking of others too. A panic attack on the surface can be bad, let alone underwater.

Don't be too hard on yourself. You saw and called out the risk before anything may have happened

YOU DID THE EXACT RIGHT THING!

Among serious divers there is a rule that “any diver can call any dive at any time for any reason.” Sometimes that reason is that you don’t feel comfortable or simply have a bad feeling about it.

So, you don’t have to justify your decision to anyone, not even yourself.

Plus, the MOST dangerous thing in diving is panic. Had you gone diving and something had happened to frighten you and panic had set in, you’d likely have bolted to the surface while holding your breath. That can be fatal from as little as 4 feet under the surface.

You’re on vacation. Have another nice cocktail and don’t give it another thought.

You made the right choice. Panicking underwater is dangerous.

Maybe you can try it in a swimming pool first. That way the risk will be minimal.